Congratulations to singany, You Filthy, Wonderful Whore

Bryan Christian — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMT

All right, singany -- just what was your secret? What magical qualities did you possess to become the highest paid potential escort on this blog based on the unassailably scientific "Gigolo-Meter." Double jointed hips? Constantly lubricated orifi? Congenital ability to accept Paypal? We must know, so spill it!

And anyone else out there able to take singany on? Maybe you're a heavily muscled, tattooed bisexual with a Masters and a penchant for rough sex? Well, then send us your number! Oops, sorry -- well, then try out the Gigolo-Meter and let us know how well you scored! We hadn't thought of this as a contest before, but dammit, who doesn't like a little competition in their fake-prostitution?

We're Worth $842 an Hour In Bed

Bryan Christian — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:10:00 GMT

Ever wondered how much you would net as an escort? We sure have. (Wondered about ourselves we mean, not you. That would be creepy!) Turns out the answer, as judged by the undoubtedly scientifically bulletproof "Gigolo-Meter" is $842 an hour. Which coincidentally is just as much as we're paid by Nerve! Ha ha! Who'd a thunk?

Actually, even though we're completely hyped to be worth so much on the black market -- not since we were adopted have we felt this much net value in our body! -- it turns out that $842 is below average for those taking the test. Since the Gigolo-Meter claims to arrive at its valuations "based on averages taken from advertised male and female private escort sites," we're pretty sure it's because we said we were exclusively straight and dressed "casual." (We're working on the wardrobe, thank you!) But enough about us! Try it for yourself and let us know what fabulous level of whoredom you can reach!

(Oh and we lie. We've totally wondered how much you would make as an escort, you dirty dawgs, you.)

Scanner : online tests

Congratulations to singany, You Filthy, Wonderful Whore

We're Worth $842 an Hour In Bed