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Paraguay Has Its Very Own Bill Clinton-Style Sex Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:53:00 GMT

This post marks the first time we've ever linked to Al Jazeera, at least that I can recall. Not that we're afraid of what Sean Hannity and his McCarthyite followers might say.

Rather, the famed Arabic news service is rarely one to break major sex scandals... until now. And we're glad we didn't miss this one like Fox News already has, because it has three classic scandal plot points...

1) Fernando Lugo, the President of Paraguay, has admitted to fathering a child out of wedlock with Viviana Carrillo, who was not even his girlfriend at the time.

2) The boy is almost two, making the woman 24 and and Lugo 55 at the time of conception.

3) Lugo was technically still a Roman Catholic bishop at the time he knocked up the young woman. He was staying with her at her godmother's house when their sexual relationship began, culminating in the birth of the boy almost a year before he won the Presidency. So, he didn't knock anybody up while in office (that we know of), but don't forget that the Pope had actually turned down his request be relieved of the vows of celibacy-- even after the boy's birth. (Pope Benedict eventually gave in.)

This all only came to light when the woman was forced to file a paternity suit against the Paraguayan President-- he thought he could pull a John Edwards up until the last minute. More via Al Jazeera.

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Leryn Franco Makes Up For Missing Out On The Whole "Nude Olympians Craze"

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:45:00 GMT

Just a few weeks ago, the nation (and, in particular, this blog) jumped for joy when Olympians from Amanda Beard to Michael Phelps were the subject of nude (or at least very revealing) photos. Literally, the day after the closing ceremonies, interest in these photos dried up... and so, apparently, did the pipeline that flooded us with so many treasures.

But javelin thrower Leryn Franco is not content to fade into hotness obscurity just yet, especially since she missed out on the nudie wave back in the day...

Franco, who hails from the sensational nation of Paraguay and finished second-to-last in Beijing, at least has modeling to fall back onto: the below photos are from an undetermined fashion show at an undetermined location. (Who is the idiot who posted these online without saying where they came from?)

Anyway, enjoy... although we can't provide any more info or an explanation for the bizarre nature of at least one of these pics...

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Woman Arrested For Smuggling Cocaine In Inappropriate Place

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:00:00 GMT

...don't say the backseat of a Volkswagen...

We've all heard that all the US $100 bills in circulation have been tainted by cocaine... but did you know about the cocaine that's tainted by vagina?

According to Guanabee:

Luiza Caetano de Lima, a 29-year-old Brazilian cook, was arrested for carrying 350 grams of cocaine in her vaginal cavity. She was intercepted on a bus on the Paraguayan border. Sadly, this ruined her plan of dropping off the drugs into a garbage can in some border town, where it would later be picked up by someone else. Presumably while wearing gloves?

Honestly, our main issue here is how the hell anyone figured out she had coke in her vagina? Did the cops just get tipped off about her and did a full-on strip search? We would think that staring up a woman's private parts would be the point where customs says, "You know what, how many grams could be up there, this isn't worth humiliating someone for?"

Perhaps the original story, which we can't read, could shed more light. Image via Blogger Digest.