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Hey Everyone, Let's Join the Sex Party

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:20:00 GMT

In November, right after the American Presidential election, we brought you word of an emerging (but subsequently little-noticed) political party in Australia: The Sex Party. Here's what we said:

In response to "moral campaigners and prudish politicians," Australia's open-minded citizens have decided to strike back.
On Thursday, the Great Down Under will announce the only political news worth reporting on: the launch of the fortunately-named Australian Sex Party. And no, it's not that key-exchange game your Mom told you about.

This week, Canada got in on that action with its very own-- and rather different-- Sex Party...

Although they were resoundly defeated in yesterday's parliamentary elections-- as if anyone knew they would be on the ballot-- the Sex Party of British Columbia has only just begun to (fuck or) fight. They have launched a real publicity blitz that is gaining national and, ultimately, worldwide attention, starting with its catchy slogan: "Sex is good. Let's make it better!"

"We're not running to get elected. Obviously it's impossible, especially in a first-past-the-post system that discriminates against small parties," said John Ince, a Vancouver sex shop owner and leader of the Sex Party.
The party's platform touts the benefits of a healthy sex life for personal growth and the betterment of society.
It proposes revamping the provincial education program to gradually encourage students' sexual activity, whereby extensive sexual experimentation would precede first intercourse.
Teens would learn the basics of healthy and satisfying sexual liaisons, such as trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation and verbal communication. They would be offered courses in erotic massage, and taught not to discriminate against gays or lesbians.
Furthermore, the Sex Party would require that all public parks and beaches larger than one hectare (2.5 acres) be designated areas for nudists in a bid "to normalize all parts of the human body and de-stigmatize human sexual organs."

Can you imagine that ever passing here in the next 500 years? Central Park overrun by nudists-- meaning, besides that "nudists" who walk up to you and expose themselves? Never gonna happen... but stranger things have happened in Canada and we'd certainly vote for a Sex Party candidate if we could...

It promises to make it easier for the elderly living in long-term care facilities to have sex, for example, by instituting training for "specialized sexual care nurses."
"Other politicians don't want to discuss these kinds of issues. It's very scary to them," commented Scarlett Lake. The former exotic dancer who now owns an escort service is one of three Sex Party candidates in this election.
She proposes changing Victoria Day, a statutory holiday in Canada that celebrates the birthday of Queen Victoria, who reigned during an era of prudery in Britain, to "Eros Day" for the Greek mythological god of lust and intercourse.

"Specialized sexual care nurses" as part of its platform... ex-strippers/escort Madams-turned candidates... making Victoria Day the Crazy Lust and Greek Sex Orgy day... all that is bound to garner a few token votes. Unfortunately, for now, that's all they're likely to get...

This photo of John Ince, the group's founder, is just begging for a "Caption This."

Via AFP.

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Introducing the Australian Sex Party...

Way to F Up the Swingers Party, Dude

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Thing #387 Not to F*ck: A Hong Kong Park Bench

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:32:00 GMT

This man, apparently, did not get our memo detailing things you should never, ever, under any circumstance attempt to have sex with.

The list includes:

#15 Bicycles--There are so many more jabby parts than appropriate orifices. Also, depending on who you ask, it might even be illegal.

#103 Horses--So maybe Catherine the Great didn't actually die from fucking a horse. The reason people believe that is because she totally could have.

#256 Your middle school student--If you need this explained, we hope you look good in the color orange.

And yes, another thing you should avoid having sex with is the hole in a metal Hong Kong park bench, cause nobody wants to Crisco up your sausage when you realize your mistake.

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Homeless Woman Narcs On Craig's List Casual Encounters' Couple

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:54:00 GMT

The residents of Oregon City, Oregon are laughing their collective butts off today after the Associated Press reported on a Craig's List Casual Encounter gone hilariously wrong...

A newly united couple, listed only as a 46-year-old man and a 47-year-old woman, met in a central location to the both of them, a small city park, with the intention of getting it on. Nearby, a homeless woman was setting up her tent for the night when she heard what sounded like... wait, can't be, she thought: is that a man raping a bound and gagged woman in the middle of this park?

She alerted the po-po, who came out in force. The couple fled, although were soon tracked down... by a police dog. Ouch.

The guy's reasoning for fleeing the scene? Big surprise to anyone who has never used Craig's List for sex: he's married. Too bad, he was busted along with his new friend and their total bail amounted to $33,500, based on charges of trespassing, disorderdly conduct, and indecency.

No word on whether this was some sort of park-rape-bound-and-gagged-fantasy or just your regular Wednesday night park sex.

Via the AP.

Photo via Garrett LeSage.

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A Walk in the Sexy Park

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:50:00 GMT

We love parks. And we love sex. So we're super excited about Jeju Land, a sculpture park in Korea dedicated to sexual pleasure, which has 100 works on permanent display — many of which are after the jump. We'd say they're not safe for work, but if you get caught looking, just belittle your boss and accuse him of having no cultural appreciation.

[Next Thing via YBNBY]

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Hey Everyone, Let's Join the Sex Party

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