Scanner : perez hilton

Pink's Coming Out, or Not, So Please Await Further Notice Re: Getting the Party Started

Colleen Kane — Mon, 04 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

While we have never known British tabloids such as News of the World and The Sun to demonstrate anything but the most responsible journalism [cough], Pink slammed their report that she's bisexual.

Pink supposedly told the former tab that she was bisexual, but it's not a big deal because "it's who I am." And although she's reunited now with ex-husband Carey Heart, she's quoted saying “I would also be just as happy with a new women."

“I’m not complicated, I sing about love in all its shapes, forms and colours."

Pink responded to the article, which her rep speculates was "entirely fabricated," via Twitter....

i just read that im bisexual. so 1991. good thing people write articles about me so i can get my facts str8. i mean straight. read on people.

She then added, in another tweet:

cant WAIT for the day when people stop talking about sexual preference or that a woman is a CEO and actually start making the world LIVEABLE

And just to clarify, she responded to Perez Hilton, when he asked her over Twitter:

100% FABRICATION.

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Pink and Racer Hubby Split, Farting, Panda Porn, Frog From Hell and Drew Barrymore's Wise Words

Image

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Strip Show

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:04:00 GMT

Christopher Hitchens recalls the night no one wanted him to get loaded, so he went to Hunter Thompson's house to get bombed and fire off some guns. Someone explain to me why life is worth living without that man in this world.

Tomorrow's South Park is about pirates.

An Australian town chorus posed nude for charity.

The Food Network Magazine benefits in this economy-- maybe because no one can afford food, so they decide to read about? Not sure on this one.

Madonna may have lied about paparazzi causing her fall from a horse. Ya think?

This guy is right about his water bill-- there's no way he used 300,000 gallons in one month... and he's also right that no one, not even a well-meaning anonymous donor should have to pay the price for the water company's clerical error.

Rumors are brewing that Lindsay Lohan is considering joining a topless revue. Man, the internet will believe anything Perez Hilton tells them, huh?

And Stephen Hawking is apparently in serious condition in an English hospital.

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

How To Piss Off Perez Hilton

Ina Maier — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:20:00 GMT

Last night Carrie Prejean, Miss California, did not win Miss USA 2009. She did, however, manage to piss off Perez Hilton and your friendly neighborhood Scanners. So, what exactly did she do? Well, besides being a close-minded idiot, she also speaks in nonsensical sentences. Full video and transcription after the jump.

To recap, she said:

I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be between a man and a woman.

Emphasis ours.

[Please Note: missing punctuation, run-on sentences, and general gibberish not ours.]

Related:

"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons

Perez Hilton's Novelty Song

Perez Hilton the Richest Chubby Recluse in Hollywood

John Mayer Considered Going Gay

Colleen Kane — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:20:00 GMT

John Mayer is still at his sometime standup career. In this clip from his performance on the Mayercraft Carrier, he discusses his makeout session with Perez Hilton and how he has considered going gay. We dont' really get the rationale, though-- he seems to be saying he made out with Perez to prove he was just as wild as Perez?

Then he caps it with these declarations.

"I will f?ck you in the ass to shut you up," and "I will go ass to mouth, just to shut you up."

He also references himself liking them old (although he was talking about a man in the joke, this sounded like a Jen reference).

And, Mayer also knew this bit would get blogging masses typing.

"I thought about this shit over there before I came out, I don't care."

John Mayer Reveals Intimate Detail in "Funny" Video

John & Jen's Perfectly in-Character Sexy Role Play

While You Were Sleeping: Clit-Pumpin' Glory

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:42:00 GMT

An 83-year-old woman in Hungary warms our hearts by continuing to work in her chosen career: crime.

Amy Fisher is going on that rumored stripping tour.

There's a penis in Grand Theft Auto IV! Guess they have to do something to offset the rampant exploitation of women.

Funniest headline of the day: "'Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda'. This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words."

Try the clit pump-nasal spray combo for mind-blowing female orgasms!

How can you not love Sam Donaldson after this clip from a Wonkette/Gawker interview he did?

Jane's Addiction is back... and Nine Inch Nails says goodbye.

The Democrats in Congress are enjoying a rare boom in popularity thanks to the stimulus.

Check out the hamburger dress. Actually, don't bother.

Yay for Dita Von Teese, who insists she'd chose her stripping career over a man any day.

You should read this MTV story about the Lily Allen-Perez Hilton Twitter spat only because it's hilariously sad.

Related:

Eternal Hardons Landing Men in ER

Bedpost Beta Will Make You Feel Like The Slut You Really Are

No Foreplay For You

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Pic via Drunken Stepfather

People are Talking About Beth Ditto's Nude Magazine Shoot

Colleen Kane — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:48:00 GMT

Beth Ditto, singer of the Gossip, just became more badass by baring her ass for the cover of LOVE magazine.

It's not the first time-- she's also appeared nude on the cover of NME, who she told women weren't to blame for the size 0 ideal.

"Blame gay men who work in the fashion industry who want these women as dolls. Men don't know what it feels like to be a woman and be expected to look a particular way. The Beckhams are part of the machine; Paris Hilton is part of the machine."

Beth has stripped for On Our Backs as well. A post about this on Perez Hilton inspired 533 comments so far that we shan't read, presumably many of them pejorative and semi-literate, and 270 on Popeater.
Thoughts?

Related:

Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up

Hot or Not?

We Feel a Little Better About the Three Fried Dough Balls We Ate at Dinner

Perez Hilton's Novelty Song

Colleen Kane — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 19:50:00 GMT

We can't believe we haven't posted this yet! Perez Hilton made a song, "The Clap," and a video for the song. It's about as funny as his scrawled drawings on celeb photos. And now that you are chomping at the bit to see it, here's that video!

It's from "Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild," on DVD.

Wait.

Perez Hilton is gay?

Related:

Perez Hilton the Richest Chubby Recluse in Hollywood

This Week in Gayness: Perez Hilton Sues Over Unfilmed Sex Tape

Scanner Controversy: We Asked For It This Time...

Lily Allen "Snogged Lesbian Twins"

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:27:00 GMT

"I was on the sofa and I had them both. I was dancing and shoving my ass on one of them," Lily Allen recently revealed to Gay Times...

Luckily (or unfortunately for some of you out there) it's a lot less exciting and a little less incestuous than you think. "Snogging," apparently, is what the Brits call making out. But the ever-classy Perez Hilton ran this headline anyway: Lily Allen Says She Had Sex With Twin Lesbians.

Sorry if that's disappointing. Maybe this will help: Lily did say, "That’s the only time, but I have lesbian dreams a lot.”

We would just like to take this opportunity (er, teachable moment?) to say that just because twins are lesbians does mean they should be lesbians TOGETHER.

[Perez Hilton via The Frisky]

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Zooey Deschanel's Next Record

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen Sends Topless Pic To Wrong Guy

**Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously**

Lily Allen and Kids From "Harry Potter" Form Youngest, Most Adorablest Love Triangle Ever!

Spoon or Spork: Lily Allen?

Your Daily Dose of Boobies: Lily Allen

Sloppy Seconds: Who's Not Allowed to Play With Paris?

Emily Farris — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:37:00 GMT

What were your favorite and least favorite Nerve essays of 2008? Orly? Then you should go vote for them. [Nerve]

Some of your favorite NPR personalities may soon be gone. Fucking economy. [Gawker]

Why did Perez Hilton have to ruin a perfectly beautiful picture of our future husband Ryan Gosling? [PerezHilton]

Perhaps in a cash crunch like the rest of us, Michael Jackson is selling the gates leading to Neverland Ranch and his infamous glitter glove from the "Billie Jean" video. [Yahoo!]

Speaking of gloves, er, coming off, Tom Cruise is going in for another interview with Matt Lauer. [Us]

Oprah fell off (or onto?) the food wagon, maxing out at 200 pounds. It's just more for us to love, Lady O. [People]

Prince William was invited to Paris Hilton's New Years Eve party, but his "elders at the palace" reportedly do not want him partying with her. [Radar]

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: How Did DJ A.M. and Travis Barker Survive Their Plane Crash?

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:21:00 GMT

Chef Jamie Oliver (probably known as the Naked Chef) is expecting his third child with wife, Jools. [Us]

Following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Steven Spielberg and his wife, Kate Capshaw, have donated $100,000 to fight a California referendum seeking to ban gay marriage. [Yahoo!]

It's probably a safe bet not letting Sarah Palin anywhere near reporters while she's unscripted, right? [Radar]

We can safely say this is the worst bumper sticker we've ever seen. Even worse than the pro-George Bush stickers. Promise. And, uh, as Perez Hilton would say, don't click if you're easily offended. [Queerty]

If you had to choose between life behind bars and life with Amy Winehouse, which would you choose? Which did her hubby choose? [MollyGood]

So how is it that two celebrities survived a plane crash that four other people died in? Quick thinking, along the lines of stop, drop and roll. [People]

This Week In Gayness: The Saxon Warrior Lovers

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:20:00 GMT

A Maryland appeals court overturned a law that would've hurt protections put in place to help transgender people.

Billie Jean King does not support Sarah Palin, whom she calls "honest" and "real," and continues to lend her name to the Obama campaign.

An Ohio Church trashed Katy Perry for her UK #1 single by saying on a billboard: "I kissed a girl and I liked it... Then I went to hell." Perez Hilton posted a photo of that homophobic church's sign defaced: "God Adores You." Think about it: G A Y.

Those heathens: didn't they know about Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Two male Saxon warriors from around 466 to 1066 AD were found arm-in-arm in their grave. (Well, they couldn't just fall down dead that way in battle...)

A lot of people thought this was a joke, but it doesn't surprise us at all: there's a website called Gay Chubby Dating. And yes, it's a service.

While the rest of the country is starting to head toward the side that's winning, Florida meanwhile supports a ban on gay marriage, 55-45. (Or, if there's a vote on it, by 7 votes.)

Related:

This Week In Gayness: Weddings in California Prisons

Crush of the Week: Jamie Clayton, The Hottest Transsexual

This Week In Gayness: Sam Ronson's Gay Tell-All About Lindsay?

Teacher Forced To Resign After Students Find His Gay Profile

Return of the Gay Balls

This Week In Gayness: Post-Coming Out

Scanner Controversy: We Asked For It This Time...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 19:44:00 GMT

It's been two weeks since we last revisited our most cringe-worthy posts and made our peace...

Perez Hilton the Richest Chubby Recluse in Hollywood

Readers hated (and loved) on Perez and his love handles. Either way, we're clearly jealous.

Maxi Mounds And Her Boobs Break Guiness Record

No question, gargantuan fake boobs are nothing to give awards for.

Does Michael Phelps' New Girlfriend Wear Fins or Stilettos?

We gotta admit, Amanda Beard grows on us day by day... as does-- of course-- Michael Phelps.

If The Election Were Today... Round Two

This will always be controversial: asking people to look at a bunch of silly polls and make a guess who's going to win a Presidential election in three months.

Engagement Party Ends In Cheating, Beating, Arrest, No Makeup Sex

Just because he deserved a few smacks to the head doesn't mean we think she should be above the law for adminstering them.

What's It Like Being The Husband Of A Porn Star?

Surprisingly, few objected to living this guy's life...

Cosmo and AskMen in Steel Cage Match Battle of the Sexes

Equally surprising were the number of people who enjoyed these lists. Although, in retrospect, we did find them amusing.

Elizabeth Edwards: "I Stayed For The Kids"

Hey, we know everyone's innocent until proven guilty. Except when they secretly visit the hotel room of a mistress they probably haven't been seeing for a long time and are admittedly not sleeping with and claim that "some other cheating husband" made that baby that she brought with her to take pictures of you playing with. Yeah, okay, we'll be objective. (In the interest of full confession: I, Scanner Brian was an Edwards supporter from Dean's scream in 2004 until last week.)

Perez Hilton the Richest Chubby Recluse in Hollywood

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:53:00 GMT

This Wired feature on the multi-media conglomeration that is Perez Hilton is, well, eye-opening. For one thing, the site makes $54,000 in ad money a day. A DAY! That is serious bucks for photoshopping cum on people's faces. And Perez is branching out into clothes, music, and television because (hear this!) he's always working.

Actually we believe that Perez works, and if he can grab the bucks, more power to him. It's all in the service of meeting his goal to become the gay, latino Oprah. Really, we can't talk shit on Perez cause then we'd have no excuse for paying attention to him, and unfortunately, we're not about to stop gawking at the dude and his totally inexplicable success. Lucky for us we're not the only ones who follow the hot mess.

When he announced on his site, incorrectly, that Fidel Castro was dead (Hilton's family fled Cuba for Florida in the '60s), the Huffington Post and the Drudge Report picked up the item (albeit with skepticism). When Bloomberg invited him to be its guest at this year's White House Correspondents' Association dinner in Washington, he was seated next to Tracey Ullman, who gushed, "I read your site every day!" For his LA-based novel, Bright Shiny Morning, author James Frey interviewed Hilton and modeled the character of a flamboyant gossip monger on him.

The man is a shooting star of fast food wrappers and unicorn tears. Respect.

Sloppy Seconds: The Truth About The "Abusive" Paul McCartney

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:51:00 GMT

An earthquake this morning registered 5.4 on the Andy Richter scale and was felt from LA to Vegas and down to Mexico. There were no reported injuries as of post time.

Although he's charged with a DUI, Shia LaBeouf was not at fault for the car crash that flipped his truck. The other driver has been ticketed for running a red light...

PageSix claims Marc Jacobs has wed in Paris... and if you didn't know, he married...

his Brazilian boyfriend in a civil ceremony... which is not legally binding.

Other sources speculate that this is just a decoy move while Jacobs gets married elsewhere, away from the prying press...

Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron are to appear on a breast cancer telethon the night of September 5th.

We couldn't imagine Paul McCartney ever hitting anyone-- shit, could you imagine the guy who wrote "Yesterday" and "Maybe I'm Amazed" getting medieval on anyone? Now, Heather Mills' ex-publicist is speaking out and basically confirming what we suspected all along: the evidence of McCartney abusing his ex-wife was completely fabricated to help the wife's case.

We're pretty sure it's a fake of... something... but WTF is this photo Gawker posted?

You can download the Walkmen's excellent new album for $5, with all of the proceeds going to the cause of one hospitalized baby. The music revolution, indeed.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Madonna's Breakdown?

Sloppy Seconds: Brad and Angelina and the French Brawl

We Do Not Want to Meet Carlizina Jolectron in a Dark Alley

Hot or Not? Scarlett Johansson's Fuzzy Nipple

The Results Are In: Who Would You Rather, Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman?

While You Were Sleeping: Poor Bret Michaels

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:16:00 GMT

An Austin frat owes somebody $4.2 million after one of their pledges drank himself to death. Should we make this rubber check out to the state of Texas or what?

Perez Hilton has photos of Andy Dick from an outing just prior the fateful arrest. If it had fewer girls, more laughing gas, and lots of crystal meth, it would be just like our roommate's bed on a Wednesday night.

Is George Bush going to have to try and pardon Mister Cheney? Or commuter him? Or whatever it is I can do because I am installed by God?

A woman is suing a bar after burning herself with-- ready for this one?-- a flaming shot. The McDonald's Coffee Lawsuit Lady and the Put A Knife In My Subway Sandwich Faker unavailable for comment.

Remember that kid who was a total dick at his former high school's graduation? Yeah, the judge wasn't too thrilled to see him.

The Malaysian opposition leader we told you about was finally nabbed for having practiced the ancient art of sodomy on a male aide. Or so his government keeps saying, in hopes they can jail him for all eternity...

Vh-1 is very excited to report that Bret Michaels and "Ambre" have broken up! They are excited because now they get to announce Rock of Love Season 3! Coincidence?

Want Revenge On Your Old High School?

Malaysian Opposition Leader Accused of Sodomizing Male Aide

Obama Button Makes Us Want To Mess With Texas

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:55:00 GMT

You're gonna wanna see the rest of this Texas Republican Party State Convention pin...

The GOP really wants to make an ass of itself this year, doesn't it?

Hmmm... you don't think this will come back to bite them in the ass, come the nomination of Condi Rice for Vice President? Morons.

(And how is it that Perez Hilton, of all people, was the one to break this story nationally? What does that say about the mainstream media that this was a big deal in Texas over the weekend, but it took three days for anyone outside of the state to hear about it?)

There were other pins that weren't necessarily conveying the positive, inclusive, united front that has been portrayed during the convention. One said, "Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Deportation" and another, "I will hold my nose when I vote for McCain"

Via TrailBlazers.

Sloppy Seconds: Jolie And Aniston Face Off

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Perez Hilton claims to have a nonexistent sex life. Perhaps he needs to change his name to something catchier, like a symbol or The Blogger or P. Hilty. Seriously, anything's better than naming yourself after Paris Hilton.

Howard Stern and his girlfriend, possibly the least jealous woman in the world, have set a date. Amazingly, his first marriage spanned decades.

Fark reports on the recent dismissal of a bathroom stall case that should have Larry Craig shuffling for joy... the case has been partially dismissed.

A recent episode of UK's Big Brother sparked hundreds of viewer complaints. Unfortunately, none of them are because the show sucks.

Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie are "pitted" against each other for the first time when their movies premiere this October. Not to be outdone, Gwyneth Paltrow plans to make an asinine remark in an interview that day.

And why are we just finding out about the Jenna Fischer nude "Wire" cover, months after the fact? We have an e-mail tipline, people!

Sloppy Seconds: Who Else is Making Out With Drew Barrymore's Boyfriend?

Emily Farris — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:21:00 GMT

The best way to get a job in this economy? Start a website about how much you suck. [AdRants]

Whoopi Goldberg will host the 2008 Tony's. [Yahoo!]

George Clooney and his lady friend love Rock of Love. [Us]

If you want your cyber friends to know more about you than they already do, you can now stream your iTunes playlist on Facebook. [Wired]

Perez Hilton has designed a line of clothes for Hot Topic, which as one commenter points out, is kind-of genius. [MollyGood]

Big Love's Ginnifer Goodwin had a hard time making out with Drew Barrymore's boyfriend, Justin Long (also known as "Mac") on the set of their upcoming film "He's Just Not That Into You." [People]

Hot, Lesbian Action Coming to Gossip Girl

Emily Farris — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:45:00 GMT

As if Gossip Girl really needed any more publicity...

But according to Perez Hilton (who our little sister says "is never wrong") Blake Lively and Michelle Trachtenberg's characters (Serena and Georgin, respectively) will get it on. We'd say confused teenage girls everywhere are probably creaming their pants right now, but we decided a long time ago that this show is for the grown ups.

[Perez Hilton: Exclusive Gossip Girl Scoop!!]

This Week in Gayness: Perez Hilton Sues Over Unfilmed Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Is there anything weirder than the US Presidential race, with politicians referring to their wives overly-made-up cunts-- will Bill Clinton never shut up?-- and grown men bowling 37's?

Yes-- the North Carolina Senate Race, which pits the wife of a former President(ial candidate)-- guess the Republicans don't mind a tough-talking female opportunist if she's on their side-- Elizabeth Dole, versus Jim Neal, a gay Democratic businessman. And he might win...

A school superintendent in Massachusetts is being guarded by the police after yet one-man right-wing douche machine suggested people beat his ass, just for fun. The superintendent's crime? Allowing a children's book with a scene about two kings getting married to be read in school. (Remember when we said we support all forms of free speech? We lied.)

We've been crying tears of joy all week over the Fred Phelps church getting shut down. His Crazy Train organization hates homosexuals, Jews, Catholics, Muslims, and anybody else who doesn't pay their $400 a month church dues. Finally, he pushed the law too far and is facing eviction over a $5 million dollar fine for picketing the funerals of two servicemen killed in Iraq. (The Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church believes all dead Americans in Iraq are God's way of saying "thanks for allowing gays to roam free.") Why can't we do this to every church and organization that offends our sanity?

Perez Hilton had a helluva week. First off, he and John Mayer had a love affair. Then some guy he had IM sex with (honestly-- doesn't anyone have sex in person anymore?!) released the transcripts as revenge for Hilton's failure to follow through on a promise to promote the other dude's blog. We refer you to the great New Yorker cartoon for further comment: "Honey, maybe no one wants to read your blog because it's about you."

'Nuff said. Photo via foolmood.

Kitty's Got Claws: Janice Dickinson Calls Tyra Fat, Takes It Back

Emily Farris — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:57:00 GMT

Yesterday, Janice I-Love-Anorexic-Models Dickinson said Jennifer Love Hewitt is healthy, but called Tyra Banks "fat" on the Today show. After Al Roker defended Tyra (awww...remember when he was fat?), she said she was kidding, but we think she meant what she said about Tyra's badunkadunk. See for yourself.

Dickinson: ‘Hewitt is a healthy girl’

And at the end of this painfully long clip from the Star Jones Live show [via PerezHilton], she takes it back.

Personally, and I guess we have to leave the "we" if we're going to get personal here, I think Janice could use a sandwich. Or five.