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Pete Doherty's Unbelievable Butt Tattoo

Colleen Kane — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:20:00 GMT

There's no way this story can be real, but it was originally reported in the UK's Daily Star on March 30, so unless they have an earlier Fools' Day over there, it's not an April Fools prank.

So, Pete Doherty is apparently cleaned up now, so much so that he's squeamish around needles. This was unfortunate when he decided to get a tattoo on his butt, and could only make it halfway through before begging the tattooist to stop. The result is a rather appropriate unintended word on his arse...

WASTE.

According to Charli Morgan's column "Goss," Doherty wanted to have Wasteland tattooed on his ass, after his favoriteTS Eliot poem. That could have worked, too, but "waste" is even better suited for its rump location.

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Joe Biden's Daughter Caught in Cocaine Scandal?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:46:00 GMT

Ashley Biden, the cute 27-year-old daughter of the Vice President is apparently this year's Kate Moss. Remember how someone secretly filmed the supermodel doing blow at Pete Doherty's recording session? The same thing happened to Ash, only it was at a party, she knew she was being filmed, and now the tape is about to fetch six figures...

If it's true. While we do believe a tape exists, so far no one's been able to prove the cokehead in the video is the First Daughter. Even the New York Post is unsure-- although, of course they milk the story for the little it's worth:

The woman appears to resemble Ashley Biden, 27, a social worker for a Delaware child-welfare agency...

[She] makes repeated references to the drugs, said the lawyers, who said they viewed the tape about 15 times.

"At one point she pretty much complains that the line isn't big enough," said the second lawyer, who declined to identify himself. "And she talks about her dad."

Biden has been an outspoken crusader against drugs, coining the term "drug czar" in 1982 while campaigning for a more forceful "war on drugs." [NY Post]

Whoever she is, she clearly has a drug problem. According to a variety of sources, the young woman on the tape uses a big red straw to snort up a boatload of coke before lashing out at people around her and telling them to "shut the fuck up." (It's also rumored that Biden's longtime boyfriend is pictured in the same frame as her, which would make the tape appear to be genuine.)

The douchebag who filmed all this tried initially to obtain $1.2 for the original, but has scaled back his greed to a mere $400,000. One report says two companies have offered well over six figures for the tape, but not the full 400 g's. Yet...

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Sloppy Seconds: It's Friday And Salma Hayek Is Single

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:50:00 GMT

A woman paid $1,000 for someone else's baby after having a miscarriage. Painful Excerpt: "...she didn’t want to disappoint her mother." Yikes.

Did you guys and gals attend the mass nude photo shoot today in Ann Arbor, Michigan?

The Best Article Every Day today featured "7 Reasons Why The New iPhone Sucks."

Lockup your children, drugs, bowler hats, and microphones: Pete Doherty is on the loose.

John McCain actually doesn't hide from gay Republicans. He just conveniently leaves them off his public schedule.

Today in Weight Gain or Pregnancy? rumors is Uma Thurman.

Wonkette reports that our favorite cheating, divorcing family values Republican seriously injured a man at a Congressional baseball game and did nothing while the man bled all over the place. Oh, then he hit a home run and celebrated. Classy.

Another disgusting Obama shirt or just a poor choice of words: "Obama Is My Slave." (we're betting it's the former-- can you picture them making and somehow selling a John McCain version?)

Salma Hayek is not getting married to some billionaire after all. While the lesbian rumors start up again, we'll make our move...

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Photo via AskMen.

We Can Imagine What Pete Doherty Had for His Last Supper

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:45:00 GMT

Babyshambles frontman and professional dandruff flake Pete Doherty commissioned a sculpture of himself on the cross for an upcoming gig. Here he is getting his art on posing for the work.

According to The Sun:

The “disturbing artwork” will be carved in marble and show Doherty being tortured, surrounded by strips of newspapers — symbolising his crucifixion by the media.

Cry us a sad, lonely river. If Pete Doherty wasn't mocked by the media, no one would recognize his face. As it is, it's getting hard to see underneath all the scabs and blue gunk.

While You Were Sleeping: The Scientologists Planned Their Invasion of New York

Emily Farris — Tue, 20 May 2008 14:41:00 GMT

Remember Silvio Berlusconi, the guy who hired the hot new Italian minister who was our Crush of the Week last week? Well, we now know she doesn't support "pointless" gay pride. If that means teddy bears (stuffed, not human) with nipple rings and rainbow t-shirts, we would almost get where she's coming from (because pierced teddy bears always freaked us out), but as a politician she probably shouldn't have said it out loud. Except it appears that's not what she meant at all. [Queerty]

Would you wear undewear-wear-wear-eh-eh-eh designed by Rihanna? [ICYDN]

If you look hard enough, you can see Angelina Jolie's nipple in this picture. [Fleshbot]

Oh Jesus, Pete Doherty has a son? Where is Sally Struthers when you need her? [GabbyBabble]

Only one cast member knows how LOST will end. We don't know if we want to know. Okay, we do, but we don't. Because we're a little disappointed with the way things are going lately. [Defamer]

Hide your babies (because they'll feel inadequate next to Suri) and your prescription drugs. Katie, Tom and Suri are headed for New York. That's right, Katie landed a role in Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" this fall and Tom is letting her do it. [Yahoo!]

New Amy Winehouse Love Looks Tainted and a Bit Curdled

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:29:00 GMT

Guess who, folks. This is really a match made in heaven's sewer.

We've alluded to it before, but never with such persuasive photographic evidence as you'll find after the jump.

Of course no junkie love could be consummated without the lip bite of passion.

via Dlisted

Amy Winehouse's Rampage

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:48:00 GMT

Amy was on the warpath again the other night, assaulting up to three people (that we know of), injuring herself and her reputation, and even inexplicably shouting for all to hear: "I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs."

Her list of crimes, all according to a Yahoo! News summation.

1) She headbutted a total stranger whom she thought was trying to grope her shriveled boobs. Actually, dude, he was trying to hail you a cab. Not everybody is into 42 pound junkies, okay?

2) According to the Sun & the AP: "she allegedly punched a second person in the face before walking herself into a lamppost." Classic Marx Brothers material-- if the Marx Brothers were as dumb as Will Ferrell's last ten movies.

3) She was hanging out with, for much of the evening, Pete Doherty. Enough said.

4) And that's only the epilogue to the evening. Winehouse was barhopping earlier and slugged a male patron who refused to give up the billiards table:

"I feel so angry," musician Mustapha el Mounmi, who posed for the paper in his swollen-lipped glory, told the tabloid. "She smashed my face hard. I could not hit back—she's a woman."

5) One more PS, according to E!:

While Winehouse eventually made it home early Wednesday morning, she reportedly added one last insult to injury by stiffing her cab driver, refusing to pay any more than half of her fare.

She Told You She Was Trouble

Emily Farris — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:47:00 GMT

Remember, on "The Sopranos" when Christopher and Juliana (the real estate agent who liked Tony) were hooking up? They were both recovering addicts and he was married, and for a brief moment in time we thought that maybe they'd support each other and, like, ten seconds later they were shooting heroin together? So, forgive us if we're a little worried about the fact that Amy Winehouse and bad boy Pete Doherty are friendly. Not that we think they're hooking up, or shooting heroin together. Yet. And we hope they don't. Ever. We really do wish them the best. Because we love Amy's music and as much fun as we have with scary photos of her, we know it's not much fun for her. Or her rep.

[Via Hello!]