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Sloppy Seconds: Stripper Feels the Crunch

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:12:00 GMT

We just want to start out by saying you need to see the following three movies this weekend: Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, and The Wrestler, supposing they are out where you currently reside. Mickey Rourke's performance is one of the greatest so far this century, although Sean Penn is equally good on a more subtle level and could steal an Oscar from him, while Slumdog Millionaire is barely not cheeseball Bollywood/Hollywood, but the story hooks you almost instantly and the end-credit dance-off is the most eye popping in ages. Check out movie showtimes here.

In other news, we have a final result in the $54 million dry cleaning lawsuit...

Roy L. Pearson, the former administrative law judge who sued his dry cleaner for $54 million over a misplaced pair of pants, lost his final appeal in the District's highest court.
"Appellant failed to establish either that the Chungs' 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' and 'Same Day Service' signs constituted false or misleading statements, or that they lost his pants.

Next, we hope he gets sued (and loses again) over all this...

A stripper in Colorado has been making $18 a day thanks to the recession.

Want to have a day of hookey with your girl? Just call in anonymous threats to her school!

Wall-E seems to be benefitting the split votes among the critics, who can't decide on a favorite that any of them pick as their #1. Instead, they end up with everybody's second or third choice, the Pixar film that delighted audiences and baffled the gluttonous.

And Janet Jackson broke up with Jermaine Dupri, according to the tabloids.

While You Were Sleeping: Scrubs & Friends

48-Year-Old Carol Alt Finally Does Playboy

While You Were Sleeping: Khloe Kardashian Looks Weird Naked

Sloppy Seconds: the 69-Year-old Pinup Dude

Top 10 Celebrity Twitterers

Wall-E's Puppet Master Revealed: It's Al Gore!

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:24:00 GMT

The right wing has gotten tired of trying to find something wrong with Obama's mortgage or which hand he uses to wipe away his Muslim tears while he salutes the Nazi flag. They have a new enemy, one who''s smaller than an ogre but still bigger than John McCain: Wall-E.

Although we haven't seen the movie, we've heard for weeks that Pixar's latest animated film would feature some political content, including some "left-wing propaganda."

“It was like a 90-minute lecture on the dangers of over consumption, big corporations, and the destruction of the environment,” Pollowitz writes at Planet Gore, National Review’s global-warming blog.
I have been a huge fan of Disney Pixar's movies. Parents are usually just as entertained as their kids are. With WALL-E, that's probably true only if you thought An Inconvenient Truth was Oscar-worthy. As for me, Pixar's latest offering was Godforsaken dreck. From the first moment of the film, my kids were bombarded with leftist propaganda about the evils of mankind. [National Review]
It’s propaganda! We’re talking about a movie that foists off on little kids the idea that human beings are bad for planet earth. And that’s not true. Why are human beings bad for planet earth? … If you take your kids to this, understand they’re going to come away with the idea that mommy and daddy are bad for the planet and the planet would be better off without them. [Lars Larson on MSNBC.]

Other conservatives disagreed with these assessments, with some bloggers/writers supporting the argument that Wall-E is actually right-wing propaganda:

“I was relieved to see a kids’ movie in which the obligatory message of ecological apocalypse is framed in terms of jeopardizing our own humanity, rather than being mean to poor Gaia,” writes Matt Frost at The American Scene.
Robert Patrick J. Ford of The American Conservative suggests that “Wall-E” is... more right-wing than left-wing. “The real tragedy of these callous conservative critics (say that three times fast) is that they are missing the real lessons of the movie, ones I found immediately attractive to a traditional conservative,” Ford writes. “In the film, it becomes clear that mass consumerism is not just the product of big business, but of big business wedded with big government.

Did you see Wall-E? Let us know what your thoughts are on the film, its quality, its political content, and anything else you think of.

Via Political Wrinkles.

Sloppy Seconds: The Britney Comeback

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:12:00 GMT

Keith Richards, whose body is 84% heroin-based, urges young people to give up drugs: "Give it up, it ain't really worth it."

Kate Beckinsale, whose body is 104% hot, thinks the best part of that body is her, um, "Pharoah's Tomb." Yes, she actually used that term to describe her privates. "My best feature is unfortunately a private matter," she unfortunately tells Allure, "Although I'm told it is spectacular."

Britney Spears is making her 310th comeback, starting right now. According to AP sources: "She's been working a chair routine out in the studio and is ready to animate it." Cool! You mean, like a cartoon? We could totally see Britney's life being a John Waters film, but maybe not via Pixar Studios.

Amy Winehouse was cleared of all charges related to Ray, Ray or whatever her dude's name is. As part of a plea deal, she agreed to no longer fuck herself in the head with stupid men. Her tears drying, she vowed to get on without her guy... and go back to... blaaack. (Okay, we'll stop now.)

And about the only cool thing to come out of this week's earthquake in the UK was that this couple had some earth-shattering orgasms.