Scanner : puppies

Sloppy Seconds: Scarlett Johansson on Plastic Surgery

Emily Farris — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:01:00 GMT

The Obamas finally got a puppy. It wasn't a shelter dog (grr) but it sure is cute. [Yahoo!]

Madonna is still trying to adopt a child from Malwai. [Us]

It's posssssible that a hacker was responsible for the #amazonfail. [Vulture]

Fergie would like a baby in her. Right now. [FameCrawler]

Butt implants can be a real pain in the ass if you're having butt sex. Apparently. [ClayCane]

Scarlett Johansson (well, probably her assistant) is as annoyed with the media's obsession with weight and plastic surgery as we are. [The Huffington Post]

Speaking of if you're Keeping up with the Kardashians, you probably know that one of them is having plastic surgery. [The Remote Island]

Sloppy Seconds: Did Barbara Walters Out Whoopi Goldberg?

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:02:00 GMT

Because Paris Hilton absolutely needs more puppies. [People]

We've heard that women reach their fertile peak at 27 but maybe that's actually the case for men, too. A new study has shown that children of older fathers have lower IQ scores than those with younger fathers. In contrast, children born to older mothers scored higher on the same tests. This really is the year of the cougar! [Reuters]

Two cheepskate brothers have been exchanging the same birthday card for 36 years. At this point, why even waste money on postage? Just send an ecard, dudes. [Colorado Springs Gazette]

Did Barbara Walters out Whoopi Goldberg on The View last week? Was she already out? Did anyone even notice? Does anyone really care at this point? [VIDEO: AfterEllen]

Related:

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills

Christian Bale's Rage: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: The Wrestler And That Video Game

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

CNN looks at one convicted murderer's life after DNA vindication.

The Obamas announced what kind of puppy they're going to get. My, they are drawing this out like a Stephen King serial novel, aren't they?

High School Fight Club didn't turn out to be as funny as the movie.

A New Jersey beauty queen was arrested for counterfeiting... beware the frightening pictures of the other two culprits!

Was this a brilliant bank robbery or what? Let's hope there's a movie in the works.

Ryanair hates bloggers... although, in the company's defense, they do have their reasons.

Anna Paquin is dating her True Blood co-star.

That awesome fake vintage video game in The Wrestler? It's real... unfortunately, it's not for sale... yet.

And does this Leonard Cohen "poem" in the New Yorker mean he's working on new songs?

Top 10 Breakup Songs

Is This Another Murder-Coverup of a Black Man?

Kitty Cam is the Only Cure for Our Winter Blues

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:06:00 GMT

Hot on the paw steps of Puppy Cam is something that this crazy cat lady can't get enough of today: that's right, it's Kitty Cam.

We ("we" being Scanner Emily and my cat, Eve, pictured above) have been streaming Kitty Cam since we first read about it on Jezebel this morning. And as the Jezzies pointed out, the only downside was a lack of sound. But then, all of a sudden, at 2:56, we heard the meeps of six little fur balls.

The sound has been in and out since then, but earlier someone at Kitty Central was on the phone trying to work out the kinks (including the fact that the mic is picking up barking dogs in the background). But sound or no sound, we can't think of anything we'd rather be doing right now than watching a playpen full of felines. Well, that and filling out an application for a second KITTEH.

Prepare to swoon.

[VideoGum via Jezebel]

Related:

Let's Curl up With a Pile of Puppies

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Becoming The Crazy Cat Lady

Stuff We Absolutely Need to Validate Ourselves: Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Did 8-Year-Old Emily Know Scanner Emily Would Become the Crazy Cat Lady?

Caption This: The International Cat Show, Otherwise Known as The Crazy Cat Lady Convention

Adorable Cat Wants To Rob You Blind

Video of the Day: Lolcats Come to Life

Condom Commercials Getting Even Randier On YouTube

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:35:00 GMT

AIDS Map recommends you use extra-strength condoms, such as Durex Ultra Strong, when engaging in anal sex. Which is great news for you, since you'll want to have a lot of butt sex after watching the company's latest NSFW YouTube ad.

Joe Biden Had My Vote, Has My Heart

Emily Farris — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:33:00 GMT

Click through for the sweetest thing you'll see all day. We promise.

Sloppy Seconds: Where Joe Biden Stands on Prop8

The Veep Deba(cle): Why Everybody Loses

Anna Wintour: A Political Prophet?

[Image, Image]

Let's Curl up With a Pile of Puppies

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:16:00 GMT

Live Videos by Ustream

After last night, we are severely hung over on joy and satisfaction. What better to do now than watch a webcam of Shiba Inu puppies. This is a clip from the cam, but there is no limit to the puppy watching you can do.

Oh my God! They're wrestling in a puppy pile. We might die. As we write this cuteness is making history...live! We can kiss the rest of the afternoon goodbye.

We Just Overdosed on Adorable

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:51:00 GMT

Because sometimes, the only thing that can soothe the raging beast inside you is a video of a mother bulldog and her puppies snoring and whimpering the day away.

And Your Little Dog, Too: Attack on Paris Hilton's Pups?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:26:00 GMT

Two of Paris Hilton's dogs were supposedly killed, and it wasn't even her fault.

Unless, of course, you consider trying (or not trying) to keep track of 17 little dogs while you're busy partying being "at fault."

According to one report, two of Paris' many, many, many cherished pups were killed by coyotes earlier this week. Some say this is an all-too-often occurrence in LA where wildlife wanders onto the properties of people with.... 17 tiny dogs running around?

Conflicting reports say that all 17 of Paris' pups are just fine.

[NYDN via Jossip]

[MollyGood: Paris' Puppies Mauled to Death by Mean Paparazzi Coyotes]

Paris Hilton Punks the Paparazzi

Mean Girls: Paris Hilton Calls Former BFF's Ass "Cottage Cheese Inside a Trash Bag"

Caption This: Paris Hilton Visits An Orphanage

"Paris Hilton's Vagina Bites Penguin" And Other Classic Celebrity Spam Headlines

Who Would You Rather, Paris Hilton or Elisha Cuthbert? Oh, Too Bad, They'd Rather Each Other

Rescue Ink: Watch Tattooed Men Cuddle Kittens and Take Care of Business

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:47:00 GMT

This is Batso. He's a member of Rescue Ink, a group of tattooed dudes who met at hot rod and body art conventions volunteer at the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty Toward Animals and rescue missing or abused animals in their free time. They've been at this for a while. Besides being a reality TV producer's dream come true they just "cannot stand by while anyone mistreats an animal!"

These are tough-ass dudes, snuggling with puppies and doing tough-ass dude work. Watch them lift a porch up to pull a feral dog out.

All in a day's work.

Dog Fosters Kittens, Scanner Dies From Cuteness

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:13:00 GMT

This is a photo of a dog surrounded by the abandoned kittens it is fostering alongside its own puppies. See the little kitten face peeking over the puppy's belly?

We imagine the kittens will grow up barking and herding, and the dogs will lap up milk and be able to jump from really high places and land on their feet. Ah, multiculturalism.

Want to die from joy a little? Here's the video.

Sloppy Seconds: Huckabee Rips off Boston, Paris Hilton's Pups, Pyrex Dildos, and Good Riddance to Bush

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Is Mike Huckabee ripping off Boston (the band, not the city)? One former member thinks so.

Did you know that one is only allowed to own three dogs at a time in L.A.? Neither did we. Neither did Paris Hilton. Well, actually, she's just dumb and doesn't get them spayed and neutered.

Eco-friendly dildos are all the new rage. Pyrex??!? (Also, how come that girl gets free dildos and we don't? Shouldn't the casserole queen/sex blogger get a free Pyrex dildo and possibly one named after her?)

Say goodbye to Dubya with your own farewell video. We have a few things we'd like to say to him, ourselves.

Scanner Emily's Tips for Getting Through Valentine's Day

Emily Farris — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:52:00 GMT

We're not big fans of Valentine's Day. Even when we were in a seemingly-happy, committed relationship, we wanted nothing more than to stay in, eat too much and have great sex. We'll definitely be staying in and eating too much this year, that's for sure. So if, like us, the date 2/14 gets you about as excited as 9/11 and couples like the one pictured above make you want to bludgeon somebody, here are some tips for getting through the day.

1. Do Like Bobby, and get your nails done.

2. Watch every episode of "The Biggest Loser" on ABC.com while eating a medium rare cheddar burger and disco fries.

3. Exfoliate.

4. Adopt a puppy. Because why not make a commitment to something that will love you every Valentine's Day for the next 20 years?

5. Drink heavily.

6. Decide this will be the day you ride every subway line in New York City.

7. Finally pay those bills that have been piling up on your desk. Then clean out your inbox.

8. Take 6-8 laxatives so that sex, or the lack thereof, will be the last thing on your mind. And lose a couple pounds, to boot!

9. Start that Amy Winehouse Fan Club/Support Group you've been talking up for ages.

10. Did we mention adopting a puppy? Because we're really tempted.

We can guarantee you'll find us doing a thing or two on this list tomorrow.

[Image via adorablegiftbaskets.com]

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:26:00 GMT

Scanner does not fuck around when it comes to puppies, or any animals for that matter. (Yes, we may eat bacon, but that's beside the point.) We get all teary eyed every time we see puppies in pet shop windows and if it weren't for roommates who put their feet down, we probably would have adopted 17 strays by now. So, when we saw this article about a Bel-Air pet store to the stars (including Paris) that sells puppies from unlicensed puppy mills we were sad, and incensed, but not surprised. Celebrities have pets as accessories, and while we don't like it, the pets are probably better off with the likes of Paris and Nicole than in a cage. Fine. But when we really thought long and hard about it, we traced the popularity of puppy mills back to Paris Hilton. It's very complicated, so we put together a third-grade-level flow chart to help Paris understand.

You, see, Paris. It's because of you that the demand for "glamour" puppies has increased. We know you didn't know, but now you do, so if you and Nicole could just start getting your pets from the pound from now on and, you know, make a big deal of it in the press, it would be a lot better for everybody, including the puppies. Thanks.

Love,

Scanner

(Thanks for the tip, Pete!)

Scanner : puppies

Sloppy Seconds: Scarlett Johansson on Plastic Surgery

Sloppy Seconds: Did Barbara Walters Out Whoopi Goldberg?

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills

Christian Bale's Rage: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

While You Were Sleeping: The Wrestler And That Video Game

Wannabe Vampires Are Totally Pissing Off Real Vampires

Top 10 Breakup Songs

Is This Another Murder-Coverup of a Black Man?

Kitty Cam is the Only Cure for Our Winter Blues

Let's Curl up With a Pile of Puppies

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Becoming The Crazy Cat Lady

Stuff We Absolutely Need to Validate Ourselves: Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Did 8-Year-Old Emily Know Scanner Emily Would Become the Crazy Cat Lady?

Caption This: The International Cat Show, Otherwise Known as The Crazy Cat Lady Convention

Adorable Cat Wants To Rob You Blind

Video of the Day: Lolcats Come to Life

Condom Commercials Getting Even Randier On YouTube

Measure Up with Condomcentric

Joe Biden Had My Vote, Has My Heart

Sloppy Seconds: Where Joe Biden Stands on Prop8

The Veep Deba(cle): Why Everybody Loses

Anna Wintour: A Political Prophet?

Let's Curl up With a Pile of Puppies

We Just Overdosed on Adorable

And Your Little Dog, Too: Attack on Paris Hilton's Pups?

Paris Hilton Punks the Paparazzi

Mean Girls: Paris Hilton Calls Former BFF's Ass "Cottage Cheese Inside a Trash Bag"

Caption This: Paris Hilton Visits An Orphanage

"Paris Hilton's Vagina Bites Penguin" And Other Classic Celebrity Spam Headlines

Who Would You Rather, Paris Hilton or Elisha Cuthbert? Oh, Too Bad, They'd Rather Each Other

Rescue Ink: Watch Tattooed Men Cuddle Kittens and Take Care of Business

Dog Fosters Kittens, Scanner Dies From Cuteness

Sloppy Seconds: Huckabee Rips off Boston, Paris Hilton's Pups, Pyrex Dildos, and Good Riddance to Bush

Scanner Emily's Tips for Getting Through Valentine's Day

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills