Scanner : rap

ShamWow-SlapChop Guy Will RapChop That Ass [VIDEO]

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:07:00 GMT

We've never really understood why Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow/SlapChop guy needs that little headset—until now. He wears it so he can rap while he slaps (prostitutes) and wows.

If only all infomercials were this hilarious and culturally relevant... we'd probably have a lot more shit we don't need.

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Will Conan Suck When He Gets to L.A.?

Scanner Matt — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:43:00 GMT

You may have heard that Jay Leno is going to move to the 10:00 spot on June 1 when Conan O'Brien takes over the "Tonight Show", and while Leno is going to keep his (or Johnny Carson's) Burbank studio, O'Brien will be moving into a new studio... 3,000 miles from New York.

And as the New York Post points out:

TV shows reflect the places where they are made - think of Oprah and Chicago or the "Today" show and Rockefeller Center. It's part of their show- business DNA.

That means the "Tonight Show" will be changing more than its host when it moves from Burbank to Universal Studios this summer.

So will Conan keep his cool and stay (relatively) funny or turn into the celebrity kiss-up willing to pander to a more traditional audience at an earlier time slot as did the unfunny Leno?

Does this mean no more "masturbating bear" or sneaking knowing stares to the camera when the celebrity being interviewed is a complete moron?

Although "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" has mostly been a mainstream program and like all late night shows a promotional tool for the movie industry, it seemed to take a few chances with bizarre comedy bits, the occasional offensive joke and generally sought to push mundane television comedy a little further than the others when permitted. Will it keep it's edge, though fairly blunt in comparison to cable, when O'Brien reaches La La Land or will Letterman regain the ratings title?

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VIDEO Handful of Akon on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

Scanner Matt — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:16:00 GMT

Another video today? Why not? This one's a shorty. When rapper, Akon, decided to jump into the adoring crowd at "Jimmy Kimmel Live" while performing his atrociously boring single, "Right Now" (not a Van Halen cover), a random hand reaches up and begins massaging his crotch.

It's at 3:22 on the video after the jump.

We assume the audience member was just making things easier on Akon. Why should rappers have to grab their own crotch all the time? We always thought the tough-guy pee pee dance was a passing fad, but it never seems to go away.

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This is How Ed McMahon Does It

Emily Farris — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:11:00 GMT

Poor Ed McMahon. He's 85 and has to turn to a life of pimping just to keep a roof over his head.

Okay, so he's not really pimping. But he is sort-of pimping himself out. Ed McMahon is rapping in commercials for FreeCreditReport.com.

The 85-year-old former "Tonight Show" sidekick will star in two viral rap videos for FreeCreditReport.com, a financial Web site owned by credit bureau Experian. The videos feature McMahon wearing a tracksuit, being chauffeured around Los Angeles in a Cadillac Escalade golf cart and waxing lyrical about his very public financial troubles.

"I knew I could sing the blues, but I didn't know I could rap," McMahon said Wednesday.

The videos will appear online in October.

Charles Harris, FreeCreditReport.com's vice president of strategic marketing, said the company sought out McMahon to star in the humorous spots after seeing him openly discuss his finances on "Larry King Live." Harris said McMahon represents "a man who is taking charge."

In the first video, McMahon — who once pitched the American Family Publishing sweepstakes — and a bodyguard are cruising through a neighborhood looking for sweepstakes winners to ask for some money back, but McMahon doesn't actually go through with it. In the second spot, McMahon dons a new suit after undergoing a financial and emotional makeover.

"When I retired, I was famous," McMahon raps in the video. "I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn't funny."

After being joined by two scantily clad women, McMahon continues: "Got a bump from the media chumps, but that was temporary/Wife with bad credit was scary, so I got wise/I may have fallen, but I got back up/Now I'm back on the attack, like a ninja swinging nunchucks/I told the haters, 'Go on, take a hike'/It's my show now, and I can do what I like."

Tap those assets, Ed.

[AP: McGangsta: Ed McMahon to rap in viral videos]

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The 7 Worst Rap Attempts Of All Time

Ina Maier — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:06:00 GMT

Ever think to yourself, "Self, I wonder what the 7 worst rap attempts of all time are?" Well, Spike took it upon themselves to answer that question. Come with us, as we follow Spike down hip-hop memory lane.

The list has the usual suspects and, amazingly, one surprise. (Dee Dee Ramone, #3, -- of The Ramones -- released a rap album?) Anyway, Brian Austin Green, of course, opens up the list at #7, though the writer is quick to give him credit: "His songs aren’t that bad. It’s just a shame it’s literally impossible to take this dude seriously." We think Sussman was a little light on this West Beverly grad - ranking P. Diddy at number 5. Come on! At least Diddy had multiple albums!

The list is rounded out by Shaquille O'Neal, Mr. T, Marky Mark, and, obviously, Vanilla Ice. We were hoping for a couple more unknowns in there - and at this point, we can't be sure it's fair to put Vanilla Ice as the all time worst rap attempt ever. We're pretty sure that still gets airtime.

[via Spike]

Snoop Dogg is a Honky Tonk Angel

Emily Farris — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:17:00 GMT

It's no secret that Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson have been smoking it up together for some time now. And it's no secret that we'd really like to get in on that shit. Instead, we'll have to settle for listening to Snoop Dogg's first country single (featuring Nelson), "My Medicine."

Once you get past the beginning (Snoop's references are the equivalent of Willie Nelson starting his first rap song with allusions the Apollo, Tupac and Alizé), the song is pretty catchy... and is exactly what you'd expect a country song from Snoop to sound like.

"Girl my love's gonna last just as long as my high and I'm high all day everyday."

But like Snoop says, "Country music is the most underrated music in the world... It always has the test of time, it's great, it's heartfelt, and it touches people no matter what color they are or where they're from."

True that, Snoop. And your song puts that cheesy Tim McGraw-Nelly duet to shame (even though we have a soft spot in our hearts for it... so we're going to share it with you).

Related:

Scanner : rap

ShamWow-SlapChop Guy Will RapChop That Ass [VIDEO]

Mr. ShamWow and Hooker Exchange Slap Chops

5 Disturbing Products from Harriet Carter

3 Things We Wish We'd Gotten For Christmas, Or: Scanner Verena Is A Sucker For Infomercials

Scanner Highs and Lows: That Was Then and This is Now

Will Conan Suck When He Gets to L.A.?

While You Were Sleeping: Emma Watson To Get Naked?

Stop Saying the New Tina Fey Catchphrase

Scarlett Johansson Sells Snot on Ebay

Leaked Photos: Jessica Alba Airbrushed, Before and After

VIDEO Handful of Akon on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

Out to Lunch With Akon and T-Pain

Italian Dude Fined For Grabbing Crotch; Salon Gives the Background

Cheap Army Uniforms Causing Crotch Blow-Out

This is How Ed McMahon Does It

We Didn't Watch The Emmy's, Here's What We Missed...

Sloppy Seconds: A Whole-lotta Girl on Girl Competition

The 7 Worst Rap Attempts Of All Time

Snoop Dogg is a Honky Tonk Angel

Video of the Day: Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg Perform "Superman" in Amsterdam

Sloppy Seconds: Whose Album is Snoop Dogg Not On?

Snoop Dogg Went to Molvania and Recorded the Video of Our Dreams