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Wacko Right-Wing Politician Hit With Nude Photo Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 16:02:00 GMT

Pauline Hanson has railed against an "Asian invasion" in Australia, been to jail for electoral fraud, appeared on Dancing With the Stars, and made a strong political comeback, all over the course of a relatively brief career.

Now, Hanson's bid "as an independent at the upcoming 2009 Queensland state election" may be in jeopardy after a series of nude and raunchy photos have surfaced...

When Hanson was 19, she posed for another teenager who she fell for thanks to his awesome Harley Davidson motorcycle. At least, that's what her now ex-boyfriend told the Australian papers that originally published these photos. At some point, he convinced her to pose for his camera:

Unfortunately, these censored pics are the only ones released by the media.

Two things: one, this girl looks older than 19 and two, how can we be sure this is her? Hanson denies it, flat out, although that's the obvious talking point for a right-wing politician. The publisher of the original photos claims that his paper did "a very, very extensive checking process which... involves stripping out colours, looking at the pixel count in images. These images are not doctored. They are not fakes, it's not her head stuck on somebody else's body."

While the model may be entirely human, how do we know the model is Pauline Hanson?

Australia's major political parties could care less-- they were in unanimous agreement that the photos will not affect this weekend's election...

Read more about this story here.

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Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 16:28:00 GMT

...for liberals.

Because the "Barack Obama is gay" narrative is entirely the work one deranged and entirely unlikeable character, he can only embolden Democrats with his bizarre and unbelievable claims...

Larry Sinclair, the same transparent wacko whose story of doing cocaine off the cock of Barack, has apparently returned to save the Globe from plummeting newsstand sales. "Well, what have we got? There's nothing going on right now, so let's recycle the Obama Is Gay story-- just don't mention Sinclair on the cover, so everyone will think these are new allegations from someone actually slightly believable." Or something like that.

It turns out Sinclair is putting out a book, according to his frightening and laughable website. (Why is his shirt on backwards on the homepage, for starters?) Here's the Globe's obnoxious tease for the issue:

PRESIDENT Barack Obama is caught up in a new gay sex and drug scandal - and his loving wife is heartbroken, sources tell GLOBE in a blockbuster world exclusive. Find out all the details of the letter Michelle Obama received from the MAN who claims to be her husband's lover - and how America's devastated First Lady is fighting back against a shocking new tell-all book. It's must reading!

If Michelle Obama were devastated by these allegations, she would have been over them this summer, as they are nothing knew. Nonetheless, check out the desperate right-wing kooks that come out to support Sinclair. These are the same people that thought illegal wiretapping, war crimes, the pointless deaths of thousands of American troops, rumors of W's people having wacked W's mistress (we're not making that up), and Dick Cheney's shooting of a hunting partner were all nothing to cry about over the past eight years. Oh, but one guy without a shred of proof that he had gay sex with the black Democrat in the White House... the outrage!

-Congratulations to you and my thanks to the Globe. I appreciate the magazine for their consistency in taking and printing updates on your narrative and the constant endeavor to expose the truth about Barack Obama.
-Heee heeee!!! America's "First Lady," is heartbroken! Well, diddums! She must have known about the book quite some time ago, though I guess she was hoping that if there were enough threats to Larry, the book would disappear. Well, Mrs Oscammer, why not invest in a few cardigans to cover those arms of yours because with any luck you'll be out in the cold before too long!
-Since Senator Byrd is criticizing our "king scum", I wonder if he will just suddenly die? Supposedly in the future, we will not have the freedom of speech to criticize him.bkw
-Rock on Larry !! I hope mo hits the wall and explodes with barry soetoro right behind her ! They are nothing but crap on the face of the earth !

The more these twits carry on, the better it makes Obama look. Read more, if you can stomach it, at Larry Sinclair's blog.

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Repeat Teen Abortions on the Rise, Birth Control Still Despised By Right-Wingers

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 19:06:00 GMT

On a day when Democrats (including President Obama) agreed to drop Federal funding for birth control from the stimulus bill, a new study was released in Britain indicating a huge spike in repeat abortions by teenage girls...

Among the findings, according to the Daily Mail:

In England in 2007, almost 6,000 girls, teenage or younger, had their second, third, or fourth abortions; that's about double the figure for the same study conducted in 1991. The Mail attributes some of this behavior to underage boozing marathons i.e. binge drinking, but we have to wonder if there's any correlation between this and the rise in the number of teenagers calling themselves "Christians." Just asking.

The number of abortions performed on teenage girls who have had at least one before has risen by almost 70 per cent since 1991, fuelling fears that terminations are being carried out for lifestyle reasons.

Abortions in the UK have reached record levels - almost 200,000 a year in England and Wales
[R]epeat terminations carried out on teenagers rose by 68 per cent in 16 years
'I think that young women who have had one abortion fall into two camps.
'There is one that understands the ongoing consequences and another that (is) very cavalier and hardened about it and have entered a phase of regarding it as a backup method of contraception.

Meanwhile, the story's righthand column focuses on the sex lives of Royals, whether it's okay for teenage lovers to sleep in the same bedroom, and an article titled: "Mummy, why have you got boobs on your back? How one woman was shocked into dieting." Again, we're just mentioning it.

Via the Daily Mail.

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Rice University's Sex Magazine A Slap in the Face to Houston Elite

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:47:00 GMT

Conservatives don't want you to learn anything about sex, because that would lead to fulfilling marriages... and we all know that happy people don't listen to right-wing talk radio.

Parents of Rice University students are trying to figure out how to put a stop to a student-run magazine that openly (hence the title, seen above) discusses sex, as if twenty-one-year-olds should be allowed to talk about it, let alone have it...

Open, the Houston-based publication in question, has already received national attention for depicting nude female students in its pages. But the fact that the school hasn't been able to plug the loopholes the publishers have squeezed through hasn't stopped parents from pursuing other actions. Students aren't all filled with immature glee either:

The content of the 68-page magazine included articles, poems and short fiction with titles such as "Abstinence-Only Education Is Anything But," "Health and Body" and "Exploring Health Benefits of Sex."
The publication debuted on Rice's campus and in nearby businesses last spring to a mostly positive, albeit shocked, student reaction, Solnick said. [ABC News]

You can check out the magazine here and decide for yourself if these kids are up t'no good...

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Real or Fake? Nude Photos of Obama's Mother

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

We're serious-- these could actually be real, although one blogger has an interesting theory that would cancel out that possibility.

Of course, the real question is: why are we seeing these photos now, less than two weeks till Election Day? Could this be some sort of ruse by the Right, now that the Ayers-Socialism-Muslim smear campaign has obviously failed? We found this on a radical right-wing website that claims Islamofascists and left-wingers are one and the same:

It's amazing what there is on the internet. A geneological researcher has emailed me with three pictures of Obama's mother in the nude. That would be of trivial interest except for the setting in which the picures were taken. They were clearly taken in a sophisticated mid-century apartment and my correspondent suggests that the apartment details could be used to identify the photographer. He feels that the photographer is the Communist "Frank" whom Obama mentions as his mentor. That Frank was so intimate with Obama's mother would support the contention that Frank was in fact Obama's father. Various bloggers have pointed out how similar Obama looks to "Frank" and the coverup of Obama's birth certificate is certainly very suspicious...

Yep, these people will say anything to drag Obama through the mud (since they can't win on things like issues, facts, and reality)... and apparently they'll take as fact what "a geneological [sic] researcher" e-mailed them. Groovy.

One Google blogger ("Anna") disagrees:

Sorry, I just don't see it. For one thing Obama's mother always wore her hair long and the woman in the photos had short hair. I think
they are barking up the wrong tree here which is so sad because there are so so many right trees that they have available to them.

Ah... yeah... there's so much else they can hit Obama on... such as... uh... that he once shook hands with a guy at a rally who did time for unpaid parking tickets. Terrorist!

Anyway, back to the photos... here's one. Compare it to the one at the top left and decide for yourself...

Her face kinda looks photoshopped here, so we're going to call bullshit where no one else is. That's a shame, too, because someone needs to call these despicable right-wingers out on this continued nonsense-- guys and dolls, if you have to resort to disgracing somebody's mother in order to win an election, it's time to admit you may been on the wrong side of the aisle...

Here and here are the other pictures. We don't have the heart to post them.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Madonna Marriage Meltdown

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:47:00 GMT

If you're a passenger on a plane that's being hijacked, you may do well to follow the example set by these passengers.

The sleazy Republican Governor of Nevada has been slapped with a lawsuit by the cocktail waitress who suffered his "advances" two years ago. Meanwhile, a right-wing politician in Austria, killed in a car accident last weekend, is believed to have been driving drunk at the time.

Are you interested in seeing Naomi Cambell naked?

Then click here. We've had enough of her, clothed or naked, with all the violent rampages and the rest of her insanity.

Did Dennis Leary go too far when he attacked parents of kids diagnosed with autism?

The blogs love the new Apple laptops.

We're sad to see Terrence Howard had to quit Iron Man 2 over a salary dispute, but at least he was replaced by someone equally excellent (Don Cheadle.)

MTV and the UK Sun are reporting:

Just months after Madonna denied that her marriage was in trouble, a British tabloid is reporting that she and husband Guy Ritchie are set to announce their split, "imminently."
The Sun reported on Wednesday (October 15) that a "highly placed source" confirmed that Madonna, 50, and Ritchie, 40, "just couldn't live together any more" and could "no longer bear to live with the pretence" of being a happily married couple. [MTV]

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Wall-E's Puppet Master Revealed: It's Al Gore!

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:24:00 GMT

The right wing has gotten tired of trying to find something wrong with Obama's mortgage or which hand he uses to wipe away his Muslim tears while he salutes the Nazi flag. They have a new enemy, one who''s smaller than an ogre but still bigger than John McCain: Wall-E.

Although we haven't seen the movie, we've heard for weeks that Pixar's latest animated film would feature some political content, including some "left-wing propaganda."

“It was like a 90-minute lecture on the dangers of over consumption, big corporations, and the destruction of the environment,” Pollowitz writes at Planet Gore, National Review’s global-warming blog.
I have been a huge fan of Disney Pixar's movies. Parents are usually just as entertained as their kids are. With WALL-E, that's probably true only if you thought An Inconvenient Truth was Oscar-worthy. As for me, Pixar's latest offering was Godforsaken dreck. From the first moment of the film, my kids were bombarded with leftist propaganda about the evils of mankind. [National Review]
It’s propaganda! We’re talking about a movie that foists off on little kids the idea that human beings are bad for planet earth. And that’s not true. Why are human beings bad for planet earth? … If you take your kids to this, understand they’re going to come away with the idea that mommy and daddy are bad for the planet and the planet would be better off without them. [Lars Larson on MSNBC.]

Other conservatives disagreed with these assessments, with some bloggers/writers supporting the argument that Wall-E is actually right-wing propaganda:

“I was relieved to see a kids’ movie in which the obligatory message of ecological apocalypse is framed in terms of jeopardizing our own humanity, rather than being mean to poor Gaia,” writes Matt Frost at The American Scene.
Robert Patrick J. Ford of The American Conservative suggests that “Wall-E” is... more right-wing than left-wing. “The real tragedy of these callous conservative critics (say that three times fast) is that they are missing the real lessons of the movie, ones I found immediately attractive to a traditional conservative,” Ford writes. “In the film, it becomes clear that mass consumerism is not just the product of big business, but of big business wedded with big government.

Did you see Wall-E? Let us know what your thoughts are on the film, its quality, its political content, and anything else you think of.

Via Political Wrinkles.

Losers of The Day: Dunkin' Donuts

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:10:00 GMT

Scanner Emily alerted you to the Rachael Ray ad fiasco that came to light yesterday. But we can't let the story go that easily, since there is a political element to this and now, thanks to us, a boycott of Dunkin' Donuts in the works...

First, let's take a look at the photo evidence, if you can call it that:

The above screenshot is from a Dunkin' Donuts ad that Rachael Ray appeared in recently, an image which did not go over well with Fox News, Michelle Malkin, and the rest of the right-wing do-gooder community. But what was it about this ad and this image that upset them so much?

Apparently, it's Rachael's poor fashion choice. Her black-and-white scarf, insignificant to the average eye, was spotted immediately by Fox News and others for what it really is: a terrorist beacon.

The scarf, or keffiyeh if you are a Republican crusader, "...has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos.

"The apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."

If that's the case, genius, and the keffiyeh is defined the way you see it (which, thankfully, it's not) then you must also include Lawrence of Arabia, the innocent citizens of Iraq, Trent Reznor, and those Saudi Arabians your President loves so much. That's right, George Bush coddles terrorists in the Middle East. We said it first.

Dunkin', for their part, first disputed the offensiveness of the ad, saying, You people are goddamned idiots and should be run out of town like Joe Fucking McCarthy, eventually caved to The Stupids and issued the following press release:

"Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial."

They were afraid of a boycott or something? Well, they're certainly getting one now...

Via SFGate.

Previously: Sloppy Seconds...

Right-Wing Nutjob Kevin James Proves Right-Wingers Are Nutjobs

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:00:00 GMT

When we've toured the country for political candidates, we've noticed that although there are civil conversations to be had with some people, most right-wingers are utterly clueless on the issues (this actually has been statistically proven-- look it up if you don't believe it) and tend to subscribe to the Bill O'Reilly school of Thunder Makes Right.

Kevin James, the radio show host and thankfully not the ridiculous actor, embarrassed himself and the Republican Party last night on, of all places, Hardball, where he was shown up by, of all people, Chris Fucking Matthews.

They were discussing President Bush's atrocious remarks (does he ever say anything intelligent?) about Barack Obama, comparing him with his beautiful logic to Nazi sympathizers and "appeasers."

Check out the hilariously painful clip of his loud (and wrong) attempt to rewrite history. Yes, we're biased, although we defy anyone to send us a clip of a liberal loudmouth acting like this much of an asshole.

Rape = Chocolate Cake?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:29:00 GMT

The British National Party, "a far-right, whites-only party in the United Kingdom," [Wikipedia] is stirring up a hornet's nest full of stink with this latest social faux pas. It all started when some people with IQs above 14 got around to reading one candidate's blog...

"Rape is simply sex (I am talking about 'husband-rape' here)... Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible physical ordeal…To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting force-feeding a woman chocolate cake is a heinous offence.”

Wow. We're not really sure which voters London Assembly candidate John Bull (yes, his real name) was trying to woo with this charming entry on his Blogspot page; Britain, as in America, does not have a large rapist voting bloc. We hope. Perhaps, as sources speculate, this was an attempt at "humor," an ancient Cossackian initiatian ritual, which is foreign to modern man.

In any case, Mr. Bull's response was the typical non-defense defense:

"It was never intended that each line be taken literally; that would be absurd."

Right, don't explain-- just say it was a joke. That'll end the discussion automatically. And make sure it's a great joke, like the one you heard at the urinal about how rape is like chocolate fucking cake.

Almost 80% of rapes are “acquaintance rapes,” or sexual acts forced upon women by someone they know. Partner/husband rapes are the most common... [Londonist]

I am no longer a candidate, an official or even a member of the BNP. [Bull's blog]

Way to stand by your statement without apology, show strength, and then to go into hiding because you believe in it so strongly. Making your party look wonderful, dude.

John Bull's Blog; the Londonist story.

This Week in Gayness: Perez Hilton Sues Over Unfilmed Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Is there anything weirder than the US Presidential race, with politicians referring to their wives overly-made-up cunts-- will Bill Clinton never shut up?-- and grown men bowling 37's?

Yes-- the North Carolina Senate Race, which pits the wife of a former President(ial candidate)-- guess the Republicans don't mind a tough-talking female opportunist if she's on their side-- Elizabeth Dole, versus Jim Neal, a gay Democratic businessman. And he might win...

A school superintendent in Massachusetts is being guarded by the police after yet one-man right-wing douche machine suggested people beat his ass, just for fun. The superintendent's crime? Allowing a children's book with a scene about two kings getting married to be read in school. (Remember when we said we support all forms of free speech? We lied.)

We've been crying tears of joy all week over the Fred Phelps church getting shut down. His Crazy Train organization hates homosexuals, Jews, Catholics, Muslims, and anybody else who doesn't pay their $400 a month church dues. Finally, he pushed the law too far and is facing eviction over a $5 million dollar fine for picketing the funerals of two servicemen killed in Iraq. (The Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church believes all dead Americans in Iraq are God's way of saying "thanks for allowing gays to roam free.") Why can't we do this to every church and organization that offends our sanity?

Perez Hilton had a helluva week. First off, he and John Mayer had a love affair. Then some guy he had IM sex with (honestly-- doesn't anyone have sex in person anymore?!) released the transcripts as revenge for Hilton's failure to follow through on a promise to promote the other dude's blog. We refer you to the great New Yorker cartoon for further comment: "Honey, maybe no one wants to read your blog because it's about you."

'Nuff said. Photo via foolmood.