Scanner : rock of love

Bret Michaels Backpedals His Way into Kids' Hearts

Colleen Kane — Wed, 13 May 2009 15:45:00 GMT

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Bret Michaels recounted signing 2,000 autographs for teenagers behind a Dumpster recently. And he only sounds shadier after that, when talking about his so-called Rock of Love, his broken-hearted runner-up, and the possibility of another season.

First, about the "winner" of the most recent Rock of Love, Taya: “Taya is absolutely beautiful. The show should be called Rock of Dating. You don’t fall in love in a month and a half on TV. You might fall in lust, you might be hot for somebody, but love takes time and both of us have children. We’re having a great time and we’ll see what happens.”

Next, onto Mindy. Poor, poor Mindy, who Ricky Rachtman clearly thought was the right choice for Bret, but who didn't express her feelings until the reunion show. “When were in the Dominican Republic she should have said what she told me at the reunion. Mindy was great, but she would often get into a funk. I’m not talking about a fake funk, but a real funk. If we were out on the road and you got into a fake funk, we wouldn’t last two days after the show was over. Two or three of these arguments, you’d be like, ‘I’m done.’ She really came around at that reunion and said everything she should have said at that reunion.”

What a tool. A tool we'll probably soon be watching in ROL IV, no? “I don’t know. I have to see where me and Taya go."

Related:

Bret's Rock of Love Speaks

Yoo-hoooooo! Now's Your Chance at Love, Fellas!

Daisy de la Hoya Overdose?

Colleen Kane — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Daisy de la Hoya, star of the latest VH-1 reality series Daisy of Love, was rushed to the hospital early yesterday morning for a possible overdose. Daisy was at a home in the Hollywood Hills with friends, who called 911 when they heard her making strange noises. When paramedics and firefighters arrived on the scene, Daisy was allegedly acting crazy, thrashing around and screaming.

Earlier the same night of the incident,TMZ cameras caught Daisy rolling out of Hollywood club Les Deux, looking less than alert and being led by friends (footage is linked here).

Her appearances for the weekend have been postponed, but Daisy's rep denies the overdose story. She says Daisy is being treated for delerium resulting from exhaustion. Celebrities sure get exhausted a lot! We Scanners have been exhausted many times, but have never been hosptialized for it. When we're exhausted, we go to sleep. So...hmm... Hope this young woman will be okay.

Yoo-hoooooo! Now's Your Chance at Love, Fellas!

Bret's Rock of Love Speaks

Colleen Kane — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:40:00 GMT

As you know, Bret Michaels rather tentatively chose Penthouse here as his Rock of Love on the finale of season three, Rock of Love Bus. Penthouse, aka Taya Parker, graced the cover of Steppin' Out recently to discuss the rocker in the bandanna and why Danny Bonaduce's girlfriend is out for her blood.

Here's Taya's response to Danny Bonaduce's claim that she hit on him, as recounted on Celebrity Smack Blog.

I went on his show during my Pet of the Year tour, and I told him I had a crush on him when I was a little girl. Not now! But his producers kept pushing it and pushing it asking if I would go on a date with Danny. The whole time I kept thinking, “He’s got a girlfriend.” His poor girlfriend. He actually said, “She got into a car accident and died, so now we can date.” That’s so horrible. Now, she hates me. The whole thing has been blown out of proportion. I honestly never stepped out of bounds. I think Danny just milked it for radio. On the record, I did not try to meet Danny behind his girlfriend’s back, and I definitely don’t want to sleep with him or date him. I have no interest.

So she had a crush on wee Danny growing up? I think that factoid in itself may prove that Taya is not the 29 years she claims to be, a claim that was doubted by her fellow tour bus travelers on the show.

And apparently Bret and Taya have stayed apart since the series finale, although that didn't prove true with last season's winner:

Steppin' Out: Will you be hurt if you never hear from him again?
Taya: I would definitely be hurt. Considering what I went through on that show, I would at least expect a phone call. I think being the person who he is he would do that. I left the ball in Bret’s court. If he wants to date, I’m jumping in with both feet. I could fall in love with him with the snap of a finger. There’s also a part of me that’s going to protect myself emotionally until I feel it’s safe for me to do that. So, stay tuned.

Wow, romantic!

Related:

Yoo-hoooooo! Now's Your Chance at Love, Fellas!

While You Were Sleeping: Poor Bret Michaels

STD Sunday: The "Rock of Love" Final Four Are Boring And Weird

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:33:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Hey, you ever noticed how hard it is to tell when Bret Michaels is having fun? He's got that waxy, worked-on face. It never betrays anything other than "I'm Bret Michaels." Well, we sort of had the same face last night. Oh, that happened, and then that happened? Huh. OK. Whatevs.

Read more...

Video: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards for Skanks?

Colleen Kane — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:49:00 GMT

We've often wondered just what impact the behavior of the hoochies on shows like Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, etc. will have on greater society. This pressing topic is being debated on In the Know from the Onion News Network, which asks, Are reality shows setting unrealistic standards for skanks?

As one panelist claims, "Statistic shows that only 2% of skanks will ever even ride in a stretch Hummer limo, let alone pass out in one."

In The Know: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?

Related:

Yoo-hoooooo! Now's Your Chance at Love, Fellas!

Love Myself for Hating You: Tila Tequila

Tickle Me Emo: Male Rocker RealDoll

Colleen Kane — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:27:00 GMT

You are likely already familiar with RealDoll, the disturbingly lifelike sex dolls, as pictured above. But now pretend boyfriends come in RealDoll format--even pretend rock 'n' roll boyfriends.

We are still a little confused of the usage of the word "emo," because back in the '90s it used to mean bands like Sunny Day Real Estate. Now it seems to be an all-encompassing rock term meaning, "a bunch of tools wearing striped hoodies and guyliner." And this guy above could be trying out for a Motley Crue cover band, they're certainly not emo. But enough nitpicking-- it's a rocker RealDoll.

If only this had existed when a certain Scanner writer was a serial dater of rocker types, before swearing off said rock types.

Actually, no. This is creepy.

Sex Doll Crimes Of Passion: One Man Just Can't Get Enough

One Man's Sex Doll Exhibition is Another Man's Speed Dating

PETA and the Real Dolls

via Fleshbot, photo by Lux Alptraum

Yoo-hoooooo! Now's Your Chance at Love, Fellas!

Colleen Kane — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:34:00 GMT

You know why VH-1 and VH-1 Classic are great? Trot out any washed-up celeb from the '80s or '90s who can still somewhat be propped upright for a reality show, and I will watch it. And trot them out they do. I'm just waiting for their Weekend at Bernie's-style* reality show where they prop up Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, then stand back as the hijinks ensue.

Needless to say, Rock of Love is one of the highlights/lowlights of this blogger's week. Season three, as of last night's episode two, is shaping up to have the trashiest cast yet.

We were wondering why Daisy De La Hoya, runner-up from season two, didn't show up for Rock of Love Charm School, and that's because she's getting her own show, a spinoff of a spinoff (of a spinoff of a spinoff) where she will really find true love.

Here's cast member Brian Magee who was elected by visitors to DaisyofLoveCasting.com, and who according to his "BIG Up's" section, is a straightedge vegan. Ha.

Voting is now over, but don't lose that website address; if the first season's winner doesn't work out, you may have another chance at Daisy's love.

*(I make a Weekend at Bernie's reference at least once a week. It's a very useful cultural touchstone.)

While You Were Sleeping: Poor Bret Michaels

Celebrity Rehab 2: Less Celebrity, More Total Self Destruction

16 Year Old Boy Figures Out How To Rip Off Sex Offenders, Get Rich

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:09:00 GMT

A teenage boy in Sweden has it all figured out: he can make a quick killing ripping off online perverts utilizing the same methods cops use to bust predators: posing as a gateway to underage girls.

Except sometimes dumb people actually report him to the police...

1) The boy advertised the services of young women, who would pose for paying customers on webcams should the customers fork over their bank accounts and, for no apparent reason, their access codes. Unsurprisingly, there were plenty of idiots who actually agreed.

2) Here's the best part: the unnamed boy then decided to double-punk their punk asses, writing from a separate account that he was a police investigator and that there had been some suspicious, sex offense-related activity on each customer's account. The customer was then asked to once again hand over his (or her?) bank info-- again, with the access code-- so the "investigator" could check for nefarious activity. Why anyone at this point would not have learned to not hand over their info, we'll never understand. Why ever would anyone give someone they think is a cop, who e-mails them, their bank info so a cop can go and confirm that, yes, they have paid for underage girls to strip for them... well, that's just beyond us. (Perhaps they thought the girls were really 18? Even so: idiots.)

3) The boy makes off, this time, with about ten grand U.S. from his devoted fanbase.

4) We're not sure how it happened, but somebody must have tipped the police off, again risking their own arrest ("Hello, headquarters? Yeah, you're gonna love this... got a guy here who says he was trying to buy a subscription to a website that claims to have underage girls doing live peep shows. His money was taken by some kid who's laughing his ass off with me now. What do you wanna do with him? No, not that kid... the guy who got caught trying to watch underage strip shows?")

5) Anyway, the kid got 80 hours of community service even though he was convicted on ten counts of fraud. We're guessing the judge secretly wanted to just pat him on the back and turn him loose...

Via The Local.

Related:

Teenage Girl Gets 2 Month Sentence For False Rape Allegation

"This Is The City's Response To A Penis" One of Many Classic Moments From Nude Gallery Raid

Today in WTF: Guy Gets Off (For/On) Getting 14-Year-Old Girl Drunk, Violating Her

EXCLUSIVE: Toby Keith Worships Satan, Ted Nugent, And Lynch Mobs

While You Were Sleeping: Poor Bret Michaels

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:16:00 GMT

An Austin frat owes somebody $4.2 million after one of their pledges drank himself to death. Should we make this rubber check out to the state of Texas or what?

Perez Hilton has photos of Andy Dick from an outing just prior the fateful arrest. If it had fewer girls, more laughing gas, and lots of crystal meth, it would be just like our roommate's bed on a Wednesday night.

Is George Bush going to have to try and pardon Mister Cheney? Or commuter him? Or whatever it is I can do because I am installed by God?

A woman is suing a bar after burning herself with-- ready for this one?-- a flaming shot. The McDonald's Coffee Lawsuit Lady and the Put A Knife In My Subway Sandwich Faker unavailable for comment.

Remember that kid who was a total dick at his former high school's graduation? Yeah, the judge wasn't too thrilled to see him.

The Malaysian opposition leader we told you about was finally nabbed for having practiced the ancient art of sodomy on a male aide. Or so his government keeps saying, in hopes they can jail him for all eternity...

Vh-1 is very excited to report that Bret Michaels and "Ambre" have broken up! They are excited because now they get to announce Rock of Love Season 3! Coincidence?

Want Revenge On Your Old High School?

Malaysian Opposition Leader Accused of Sodomizing Male Aide

Sloppy Seconds: Who Else is Making Out With Drew Barrymore's Boyfriend?

Emily Farris — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:21:00 GMT

The best way to get a job in this economy? Start a website about how much you suck. [AdRants]

Whoopi Goldberg will host the 2008 Tony's. [Yahoo!]

George Clooney and his lady friend love Rock of Love. [Us]

If you want your cyber friends to know more about you than they already do, you can now stream your iTunes playlist on Facebook. [Wired]

Perez Hilton has designed a line of clothes for Hot Topic, which as one commenter points out, is kind-of genius. [MollyGood]

Big Love's Ginnifer Goodwin had a hard time making out with Drew Barrymore's boyfriend, Justin Long (also known as "Mac") on the set of their upcoming film "He's Just Not That Into You." [People]