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Young Guy Waits In Tree For His Girlfriend To Come Along And Accept His Ring

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:14:00 GMT

You would think the police, parents, and school officials would be thrilled to death by a guy who waits up in a tree in Terre Haute, Indiana for his girlfriend to get out of school. See, he's going to propose marriage and has driven all the way for Michigan or Wisconsin or one of those crazy places and has the ring in his pocket and everything.

What a hopeless romantic, right? "Hopeless" might be the word for it, yes...

According to a variety of bloodthirsty news outlets, a 20-year-old internet dork named Alex Edwards drove down to Indiana from Wisconsin and waited for his girlfriend to get out of school so he could propose. Awww... shucks. As it turns out, his girlfriend is a 14-year-old eighth grader who has been telling everyone she's been trying to break up with this creep for ages. And yes, they've had sex.

Edwards was surrounded by cops by the time school let out and he had this to say about his predicament:

Alex Edwards, 20, admitted he had sexual relations with the girl last August. He told reporters before his court hearing Tuesday he believed the relationship “was the same as like a 26-year-old and a 20-year-old.”

Not quite, Casanova. You're now facing several years in prison, not to mention spending his 21st birthday (Sunday)... in Indiana. Ouch.

Via TribStar.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Jen and John Redux

Germany's Biggest Sex Scandal Comes To A Stunning Conclusion

This Guy Thought It Was OK To Sign Stepdaughter To Sex Contract

Woman's Husband and Stepfather Arrested For Blackmailing Her with a Sex Tape

Website of the Day: 101 Things Every Man Should Know

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:30:00 GMT

We're not sure why these are specifically things a man should know... or if he really needs to learn them at all. (Must we learn how to smoke cigars, for example, if we think people who smoke cigars smell like a barf-filled A train at 4am?)

There are some obvious entries in the WEBook page for "101 Things Every Man Should Know..."

It's Not What But How A Man Does [there are no direct links]

Plan A Romantic Vacation

How To Make Your Place Fit For Female Company

...and some less-obvious, more gender-neutral ones:

How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket

Changing The Tire On A Car

How To Roll A Joint

We're pretty sure we'll never need to know how to fake an orgasm, but WEBook Writer Melissa has other suggestions on this thread, which you should comment on: What SHOULD every man know how to do?

(Also, check out "Looking Good in A Speedo," which we expected to consist of two words ("You don't") but instead, miraculously, goes on for almost 1,100. And most importantly, the site is a work-in-progress and is still accepting submissions. We may write something about Chivalry And Not Expecting To Be Rewarded For It...)

Via 101 Things Every Man Should Know How To Do.

Photo of one of the great gentlemen, Cary Grant, courtesy of Ultra Orange.

The Love Detector: Creepiest New Technology

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:16:00 GMT

For the person who needs to know everything their lover is thinking, and for their lovers, who either won't know about this or don't mind being self-conscious about every breath, mumble, sneeze, and unspoken thought.

As reported by Reuters on V-Day:

Users who speak by pointing their mobile phones at themselves for video conferences can see a "love meter" bar on the screen of their handset during a conversation.

They later receive an analysis of the conversation delivered through text message that breaks down the amount of affection, surprise, concentration and honesty of the other speaker.

That's according to KTF in South Korea, makers of a product we love to hate. Just like those creepy-ass old carnival games, The Love Detector, now available for Skype PC, is about the weirdest and possibly the most fraudulent technology yet invented for mobile phone use. It was allegedly designed for people who couldn't be bothered to simply ask a crush if the crush is mutual, but apparently that didn't work and now they are moving into the girlfriends-of-strong-silent-types-who-don't-talk-about-their-feelings. (We can just hear it now: Man: Honey, I'm going to be late. Woman: Oooh, no! The Love Detector says you are suffering from a sense of detachment, are possibly homosexual, and are fondling a small dog while we're on the phone. What would you like for dinner?)

But that doesn't stop us from asking some poor soul out there with a PC (ha ha, suckers!) to try it out and not bill us for your use...