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You Can't Buy People Blogs for Christmas

Scanner Matt — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Chances are you can't really by anyone anything this year. The government has not proposed a bailout bill for low-income holiday shoppers. Is it too late to cover an old picture frame in macaroni and spray paint and give it to your mom? Yes (or you're way too young to be on Nerve). Is it too late to cover yourself in macaroni and spray paint and give it to your lover? Maybe.

So, we suggest... (drum roll?) books.

WAIT! Don't move that mouse. Here us out. Five reasons why you should buy a book for someone you love:

1. You get to claim moral and intellectual superiority over your gift getters

2. No one will complain for fear of looking like a philistine, and nobody you know wants to be a philistine (unless you still know unashamed Bush voters)

3. More bang for your buck (they're not that expensive). And a book is worth a thousand words (x100) literally

4. They're east to wrap

5. Books are important. They make everyone a better person. Even famous people (and you love famous people), who have taken it upon themselves to promote books this year on Huffpo.

Here are their recommendations:

Dan Abrams (CEO, Abrams Research) — Billionaire's Vinegar, by Benjamin Wallace: "It's got intrigue, mystery, law and wine. Some of my favorite things."

Fred Armisen (SNL) — "The Unthinkable - Who Survives When Disaster Strikes and Why by Amanda Ripley. An amazing book about human behavior in emergencies."

Kevin Bleyer (The Daily Show) — "The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper. Sure, it's a children's book, but I know of a few automaker CEOs who could use a little elementary motivation right about now. They might even consider the audiobook version. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!" What better company for those long cross-country drives to Capitol Hill?"

Lesley M. M. Blume (Author) — "All the King's Men, by Robert Penn Warren: Beautiful, astute writing about politics, desire, and human nature. If every other book in the world got washed away but this one, I'd still read it over a lifetime and find new truths in it."

Ta-Nehisi Coates (The Atlantic) — "Junot Diaz's first book, Drown. Oscar Wao gets hella props, and they're deserved. But Drown is a gorgeous study in economy. Lovely, Lovely book. Do it for no-face!"

Ana Marie Cox (The Daily Beast) — "With Nails: The Film Diaries of Richard E. Grant was the first non-total-trash book I picked up after the election (during which I had basically kept to junky sci-fi/horror crap) and was totally charmed: Grant is enough of an outsider to be gobsmacked when he meets "real" celebrities (like Steve Martin, Tom Waits, Keanu Reeves) and is surprisingly upfront about the quality of the movies he's made, including the legendarily bad "Hudson Hawk." That chapter alone makes the book worth searching out, and, for campaign reporters, the idea of being a part of vast yet organizationless disaster, one in which your job involves going where people tell you to and showing up on time to meals, and where rumors and innuendos are chased down but never ultimately revealed to make sense... well, it may seem familiar."

Arianna Huffington (HuffPost) — "Ever since I passed out from exhaustion and broke my cheekbone, I've become an evangelist for the need to periodically unplug and recharge. That's why I'm giving my always-connected friends a copy of In Praise of Slowness, a terrific book by Carl Honore, a self-professed former "speedaholic," in which he advocates the need for a more measured, balanced existence. It's the perfect prescription for those suffering from BBAD (BlackBerry Addiction Disorder)."

Jon Meacham (EIC Newsweek) — "Nixonland Rick Perlstein's book on the rise of the right, is both brilliant and fun, a consuming journey back into the making of modern politics. And given the financial news of the year, I cannot help but recommend Anthony Trollope's The Way We Live Now a fine novel about swindlers, society and speculation. Sound familiar?"

Peggy Noonan (Columnist, WSJ) — "I haven't bought anyone a book yet this year, but I am going to get a friend The Duff Cooper Diaries, which are so textured and delicious and human, and another Alistair Campbell's memoirs of the Blair administration, a book that would never, could never, be written by an American political operative, and another friend will get Tim Page's lovely biography of Dawn Powell."

Raymond Roker (Publisher, URB) — "The Green Collar Economy: How One Solution Can Fix Our Two Biggest Problems, by Van Jones is a national referendum on building a vibrant and essential green economy in America. Much like NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman's lauded Hot, Flat and Crowded, the message is that the U.S. has a unique opportunity to create both jobs and wealth through ecologically sound industries and innovation. I love Friedman and what he has to say, but I can't help but be more enthusiastic about Jones' book. With it, the green message can start reaching a more diverse audience with mainstream clout and credibility."

Steve Ross (Publisher, Collins) — "Devil In the White City, by Erik Larson is still among my favorite examples of historical narrative nonfiction: it adheres rigidly to the facts; it illuminates an underexplored corner of our history and illustrates why the stakes--at even an international scale--were so much higher than they might seem to the casual observer; it focuses on two primary protagonists who represent the best and worst of humankind while the backdrop is textured by walk-ons from dozens of well-known historical figures, from Frederick Law Olmstead and Thomas Edison to Annie Oakley and Buffalo Bill; and most importantly, is a fun and gripping read. It makes you shake your head in awe and wonder "where did he unearth this story from, and where did he find all these remarkable details?"

Salman Rushdie (Author) — "Paintings in Proust by Eric Karpeles gathers together the many, many pictures to whom Proust and his characters refer during his great novel-cycle In Search of Lost Time, paintings by Durer, Rembrandt, Botticelli, the Impressionists, and indeed almost every major European artist of the past six hundred years, and sets these masterpieces alongside the Proustian texts in which they occur. Proust's responses to these masterpieces are unfailingly interesting, and the revelation of his visual world greatly enriches and opens up our understanding of his own masterwork."

Liesl Schillinger (NYT) — "Two books I'd love to "gift" are Julia Leigh's dark jewel of a novella -- Disquiet --about a woman who returns (uninvited) to her mother's French chateau, children in tow, fleeing her brutish Australian husband (I wish Edward Gorey were still alive to illustrate the story--it cries out for sinister animation); and the coming-of-age comedy Family Planning, by the 24-year-old wunderkind Karan Mahajan. The novel is about a 16-year-old in Delhi named Arjun Ahuja, who's embarrassed by the largeness of his family circle (a dozen siblings and counting), even though he likes nannying the little ones. He starts a band to impress a girl, which creates a problem: how can Arjun seem "cool" to his fellow
band members if they come to his toddler-crammed house to rehearse? There's something Nick Hornby to the tone -- I love the way Mahajan sees family life."

Rachel Sklar (Abrams Research/Charitini.com) — "After the election I promised myself I would read a book completely unrelated to politics. I bought The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz so I could fit in at literary parties, but there it sits on my shelf while I dig into Boys on the Bus by Timonthy Crouse - recently borrowed and barely put down since then. I can't tell what's more amazing, how much has changed since then or how much hasn't. But what strikes me over and over again is how hard-working these reporters are and how important their job is - and that extrapolates to the whole industry. Since this is a post about buying books, however, I'll also recommend another book I bought and would buy again: The Forever War by Dexter Filkins. Actually, I will buy it again, and give it to someone - people should know about this war."

Jeffrey Toobin (CNN) — Assassination Vacation, by Sarah Vowell : "A madcap yet strangely educational romp (honest) through the sites of pre-JFK presidential assassinations. Totally unexpected, and totally delightful."

Brian Williams (NBC): Isaac's Storm, by Erik Larson — "The perfect short piece of non-fiction, made all the more relevant in '08, when we were reminded that what is past is prologue. A fantastic, evocative and transformative book."

Sean Wilsey (Author) — "For lefty (or simply thoughtful) Christmas book shoppers I'd recommend In the Land of No Right Angles, by Daphne Beal. No writer since the big boys of the Lost Generation has better captured the blundering innocence of Americans abroad. It's the perfect way to kiss George Bush and hegemonic America goodbye!"

Celebrate Banned Books By Buying Everything On This List

Reading Under the Influence

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AFI's Lame Top Ten 2008 Movie List

Scanner Matt — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:28:00 GMT

Maybe The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is telling us something. Americans grow up to be children (who think superhero flicks and fancy cartoons deserve critical acclaim). Yet another list of the "best" movies of 2008. This time from the American Film Institue.

Is it us or were last year's picks (with the exception of Ratatouille) far more interesting? And no Slumdog Millionaire? No Doubt? This list is only 40% right in our opinion.

AFI AWARDS 2008

AFI MOVIES OF THE YEAR-OFFICIAL SELECTIONS

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

THE DARK KNIGHT

FROST/NIXON

FROZEN RIVER

GRAN TORINO

IRON MAN

MILK

WALL•E

WENDY AND LUCY

THE WRESTLER

We'll throw in the TV list too:

AFI TV PROGRAMS OF THE YEAR-OFFICIAL SELECTIONS

BREAKING BAD

IN TREATMENT

JOHN ADAMS

LIFE

LOST

MAD MEN

THE OFFICE

RECOUNT

THE SHIELD

THE WIRE

Related:

Golden Globe Nominations Even Worse Than We Expected

And the Role of Oscar Host Goes to...

Top 5 Chase Scenes

Top 5 Drunk Scenes of American Cinema

Top 3 Reasons "Twilight" Isn't Cool…or Sexy... or Worth Your $10

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Stop Saying the New Tina Fey Catchphrase

Scanner Matt — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:39:00 GMT

It's not the Palin-inspired, "You betcha!" but likely a line Fey came up with herself. We've overheard the phrase used 3 times in public already while unintentionally eavesdropping in New York City.

In the lastest episode of 30 Rock, Tina Fey has a one-liner she likes so much she uses it later on in the show as well. "I want to go to there," spoken with a robotic childlike intonation intentionally putting the accent on the wrong words in the phrase for comic effect while referring to something silly that inspires personal longing. It works when Tina does it, but the amateur impressionists are getting annoying. Here's the original (in the last 10 seconds of the clip):

For example, we heard it in a boutique in Brooklyn on Saturday:

Random Lady (referring to a handbag): Oh, look at that bag!

Random Lady's Lame Friend (walking toward the handbag in a faux trance): I want to go to there.

(Shared naughty giggling follows)

Bleck.

We hope this isn't going to sweep our nation of pop culture parrots. It's reminiscent of the nauseating Jim Carrey retort, "All righty then!" from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective when everyone attempted to reproduce this brand of sarcasm in agressive and obnoxious barks, constantly.

Please stop it. You're embarassing yourself.

Related:

When Tina Fey Was "Fat"

Solved Mysteries: Tina Fey's Scar

Tina Fey for Oscars Host 2009!!!

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Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!

Scanner Matt — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:16:00 GMT

The ABC Bush interview will be the first of many farewells to that mighty president with whom we embarked on a new century. And let us just say, though we have had some rough times and our differences, in the end Mr. President, we'll still always hate you... a lot.

Here are some highlights from George W. Bush's interview with the paternal Norman Rockwell-esque Charlie Gibson that will have you reaching back into your 80s lexicon and letting fly some of your favorite grade school expressions such as, "No shit, Sherlock!" "Duh-uh!" "Thanks, Captain Obvious!" and the timeless classic, "I wish I was never born!"

Interview Highlights:

GIBSON: What were you most unprepared for?

BUSH: Well, I think I was unprepared for war. ...one of the things about the modern presidency is that the unexpected will happen.

GIBSON: I have found you to be an excellent political analyst and commentator?

BUSH: Why? I try not to. (Laughter.)

GIBSON: Palin choice -- help or hurt?

BUSH: I think it helped John. It energized the party. It -- I can remember when she first was named, young women in our office were saying, isn't it great that a woman is in a position to serve on the ticket now, to maybe be Vice President of the United States.

We wonder what the men were saying.

GIBSON: Was the election in any way a repudiation of the Bush administration?

BUSH: I think it was a repudiation of Republicans. And I'm sure some people voted for Barack Obama because of me.

GIBSON: But both candidates wound up criticizing you a lot.

BUSH: Yes, well, that's what happens when you're the incumbent during a tough economic time, but --

GIBSON: Hurt?

BUSH: No, not really. You know, I've been around politics a long time. Remember, I was the guy in 2000 who campaigned for change. I campaigned for change when I ran for governor of Texas. The only time I really didn't campaign for change is when I was running for reelection.

Change!? Why not throw "Hope" in there while you're at it.

GIBSON: Given the fact that you did start campaigning for change, said you were going to change the ways of Washington, do you feel you did in any way? Or did 9/11 really stand in the way of doing it?
BUSH: No, you know -- actually, 9/11 unified the country, and that was a moment where Washington decided to work together.

And that's what he'll be remembered for.

Related:

Scanner : sarah palin porno

You Can't Buy People Blogs for Christmas

Top 100 Books of 2008

Celebrate Banned Books By Buying Everything On This List

Reading Under the Influence

AFI's Lame Top Ten 2008 Movie List

Golden Globe Nominations Even Worse Than We Expected

And the Role of Oscar Host Goes to...

Top 5 Chase Scenes

Top 5 Drunk Scenes of American Cinema

Top 3 Reasons "Twilight" Isn't Cool…or Sexy... or Worth Your $10

Stop Saying the New Tina Fey Catchphrase

When Tina Fey Was "Fat"

Solved Mysteries: Tina Fey's Scar

Tina Fey for Oscars Host 2009!!!

Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!

Presidents Who Smoke: A Photo History

Is this guy the Barack Obama of the GOP? Um, no.

Reading Under the Influence