Sarah Palin Proves that Sparkles are Just as Important as Foreign Policy Experience

Emily Farris — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:14:00 GMT

You've seen the swimsuit competition, and the talent portion of the Sarah Palin beauty pageant, but nothing prepares a woman for an inaugural ball like a strut across the state in a sparkly evening gown. And when you combine strutting, sparkles and speaking... well, you've got yourself executive material right there. Especially when she speaks to the goodness of our creator, Lord Jesus Christ:

“God has made us this promise: If we will commit our works to Him, we will succeed. Our lives can be enhanced by applying this, and by thinking optimistically. In Alaska we have mosquitoes. We also have the most beautiful mountains in the world. The choice is ours as to which we’ll focus on.”

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Sloppy Seconds: More Fun With Sarah Palin Affair Rumors

Emily Farris — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:36:00 GMT

~~Hootie~~ Darius Rucker, front man of Hootie and the Blowfish, has bumped Jessica Simpson from the top of Billboard's country chart. Um, is Hank Williams rolling over in his grave? [Us]

Heather Mills gave hamburgers to poor kids in the Bronx last weekend. Except she didn't exactly tell the kids the burgers were vegan. [Gourmet]

We imagine 13-year-old Christian girls (and their mothers) with no taste in music and boys are about the only ones not happy about Clay Aiken coming out. [People]

Yes, we were right. [Radar]

Will you buy Blair and Chuck's albums? We will not. Though we also said we would not watch "Gossip Girl".. sigh. [MTV]

Just as you should not go to George Clooney with a medical emergency (save something stuck in your vagina), you probably shouldn't go to Michael Douglas in times of financial crisis. But hell, nobody else is doing a good job of fixing it, so maybe the "Wall Street" star can offer some hope? [Yahoo!]

If what The Enquirer says is true (hey, they were right about John Edwards) then Sarah Palin used to fuck a snowmobile dealer named Brad Hanson, yet another business parter of poor Todd Palin. [Wonkette]

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Sarah Palin Proves that Sparkles are Just as Important as Foreign Policy Experience

Video of the Day: Sarah Palin's Swimsuit Competition

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Sloppy Seconds: It's Hailin' Palin

Real or Fake: Nude Sarah Palin Photo?

Sloppy Seconds: More Fun With Sarah Palin Affair Rumors