Scanner : scanner readers

How to Make A Baby

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:34:00 GMT

Do any of our readers have kids that have asked them how they can put a baby in someone? (Wait, you people might have children-- that's frightening.)

If so, you can always show them this handy, cutesy, and mercifully short little video, after which your children will tell everyone they can get pregnant from a blow job.

Mile High Club Lovers Take Sex Life to the Fast Lane

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 15:17:00 GMT

A little over a year ago, a friend of ours with the commenter name of "Ahem" caused a stir on these pages by suggesting he was able to accomplish a minor version of a threesome while operating a motor vehicle.

We were a threesome "couple" (trouple?), and luckily both were as thrilled with the idea as I. My GF in the backseat stripped down and crawled over me and into position while my GF in the passenger seat took up the task of steering. I did what I could to both provide and enjoy pleasure while keeping my foot on the gas and my eyes on the road through two very firm thighs.

While we can't actually confirm this story really happened, here's one that the police were able to, thanks to their dashboard cams. And unlike the above story, this sex act takes place in the fast lane...

According to the local newspapers in Norway, a 28-year-old man and his 22-year-old lover were arrested after cops spotting them having intercourse while the man was driving (see above illustration for an explanation on this strange phenomenon.)

Officers who clocked the couple's silver Mazda 323 racing at 133km/h in a 100 zone realised they were doing more than just breaking the speed limit, police told AFP on Monday.

"It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.

"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way," he added.

"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know."

Well, Tor, obviously you've never been laid properly. It's precisely because of the high risk, great story, and that need to get off that people generally have.

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Scanner Readers Rescuing Vintage Nude Photos For You

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 18:37:00 GMT

Reader John DeFeo has been restoring vintage pinup photos for two years and he's decided to share some of his rescue efforts with you, his dearest friends...

Here's a sample before and after of the restorative power's of John's hand (or is it his Photoshop?)

Hot damn, indeed. John explains his process, during which each photo was

"blasted with a compressed air treatment, cured with a non-abrasive treatment called Vitafilm, scanned at 5400 dots-per-inch, and retouched to remove stray hairs, dirt, water stains, holes, scratches, and restored to original color..."

View the full collection here. Unrelated top photo via this link.

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Reader Round-Up: Penises, Pining and PDA

Emily Farris — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:02:00 GMT

We get more emails from people we don't know than from people we do, which also means we receive a lot of shitty links. And more times than not, we regret opening most of them... just most of the links we open, that is; we don't actually open all of the emails (word to the wise: we're not going to blog about a restaurant in Brooklyn unless somebody got naked in the kitchen and sacrificed a very important body part to the meat slicer and if you send the same email to Scanner three times with three different greetings we get really annoyed). Sometimes, just sometimes, we get links that make us feel a little dirty, a little warm and fuzzy or a little heartbroken (in a good way). The best of last week's reader submitted links make us feel all those things and more.

Chaca's Penis Drawings
The gift for the person who has everything? The perfect item to fill that empty space on your bathroom wall? Whatever your penis drawing needs, Chaca has them covered.

From Chaca:

Hey hey homies at nerve! My name is Chacha Roux, the dick drawing chick from New Brunswick, and I draw penises and sell them for a ridiculously low price. Thought you pervs might enjoy... ;)

Heres my blog and my etsy. Spread the penis gospel!

Done spread, lady.

The Hug Me Club
We love hugs. We love hugs so much we've considered going to a Cuddle Party, but we always imagine that ending with inappropriate poking. An alternative might be the Hug Me Club, a website started by some guy named Kacper (or so he says) who loves hugs and wants other people who love hugs to wear bracelets saying so, so that when two people wearing the bracelets meet, they can hug and that will be that.

The Heartbroke Daily
Who doesn't love a good story about heartbreak? The Heartbroke Daily is a new-ish blog that follows the love life of Knox Dupree, a fictional character (whose ghost writer appears to be a happily married man) and the women who break his heart. A little sample:

Hannah’s nervous anxiety and my deep rooted depression combined to create the most pleasantly subdued relationship I’d ever experienced. It made me wonder why I’d spent so many years chasing after banshees, hell bent on destroying me. After six months, though, I started to notice a change in Hannah. She was less reserved, more confident. When we went out for drinks with friends, she didn’t just listen quietly, but started injecting herself into conversations. I picked her up for dinner and she wore a strapless dress, a revelation for us both. She even got me to take her out dancing on her birthday, a very unusual request for a chronic wallflower.

It finally began to unravel, when, one night, she confessed that she had recurring fantasies about being unfaithful to me. We were close enough to reveal this sort of inner thought, but still I was stunned. All I could think to say was “I’d prefer if you didn’t cheat on me, but if you really have to, please don’t let me know about it.”

Do you make/do/have something good we should be writing about? Send it in. But it better be good, damnit.

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How Do You Like Your Hair Down There?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:13:00 GMT

The Frisky and Divine Caroline posted a somewhat obnoxious story yesterday about the vagina. (It would've been much better without trying to be cutesy and likable.)

Never mind that-- although it did give us the idea to ask the ladies how they keep their hair down there... and if dudes on Scanner prefer it trimmed, hairy, or-- um-- waxed to the skin at all times. Ouch...

Here's a scenario for you to start with: We asked a ladyfriend if she wouldn't mind trimming a bit, mainly because of access and hair-in-mouth issues during oral sex. But considering we'd rather a woman had little hair there at all than a rain forest to rival the Amazon, we confess to having ulterior motives as well. It just looks hotter this way to us, sorry. (We're also strongly against hair on the legs and under the arms-- sorry again.) Are we totally out of line on this? On the asking and/or the secretly wanting almost no hair there at all?

Just so you know, we fully admit to this very airbrushed/Hollywood/male chauvinist mentality (or whatever you want to call it) about what we're turned on and off by when it comes to a woman's body hair. But try to find a woman that likes a hairy back and ass on a man...

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Your Next Significant Other Should Be...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:12:00 GMT

The Frisky had a post the other day called Your Next Boyfriend: The 100 Qualities He Should Possess.

It created a bit of controversy, mostly blowback from guys who were upset about Entry #13, of course: He "…will be tall."

This, along with some of the other more questionable nominations, got us thinking: what do you want in your next girlfriend, as a response to the Frisky's list, and what should have been on the list or what do you agree/disagree with on the Boyfriend list?

First of all, let's start with Pipi's response:

I think that trying to make a list like this and look for a guy who has all of these qualities will leave you depressed and alone forever. No girl, let alone guy fits all 100 of these things. Id be surprised if I even did half of the things on this list.

And compiler Amelia's reply:

Oh no, it’s not that the guy has to possess everything on this list. It’s that he should possess the qualities on this list that are important to you.

So, keep Amelia's original intentions in mind: what are important qualities to you? We'll start things off:

...will give us the male equivalent of "pampering" once in a while

...will be respectful of our guy friends, even if they don't have the same taste as you, and to not assume all our female friends are ex's

...will give us the benefit of the doubt when we say "no, really, it's just been a rough day."

...will find a city rooftop a pretty romantic place to spend a sunset

And so on... in the comments section, please...

Check out the original story, via the Frisky, before you write in.

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Scanner Roundtable: What Counts As Cheating?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:15:00 GMT

A Tango story this morning gave us an idea: what do Scanner readers consider cheating? A kiss? A blow job followed by six straight months (but nothing shorter) of sex in a hotel room? What do you think?

We have been taught that the definition of cheating starts with a kiss, and that a physical tryst is the ultimate betrayal. But a lot of other flirtatious behavior can cross into the gray zone. Anything from sexy text messages and phone sex to a lap dance from a stripper and intense lunches with a coworker may not be immediate cause for a break-up, but these acts may be enough to make people re-evaluate what constitutes being unfaithful.

Take Eva, 25, a curator who lives in Chicago. Knee-deep into her relationship with her boyfriend, Rob, she started to feel restless. The sex with Rob was passionless and infrequent. Eva still loved him, but felt a need to jumpstart her love life. One day, she found a three-word email from an ex-boyfriend in her inbox: “How are you?” What started as innocent catch-up emails escalated into graphic reveries about their racy sexual past. Eva felt a thrill she hadn’t felt for months in her relationship with Rob. The ex-boyfriend lived in Italy, so the exchanges never resulted in a face-to-face meeting. Late at night, though, she wondered, “Am I a cheater?”

Damn, if sending e-mails is cheating, we're surprised no one's branded us with a bright-red "A" across our collective chests. But maybe you have a different opinion... let's hear from you in the comments.

Via Tango.

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Scanner Roundtable: Let's Settle This Whole 9/11 Thing Once And For All...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:47:00 GMT

Willie Nelson is gearing up for a major concert announcement: he and a bunch of other old country and rocker dudes want to put together first, a show attacking the idea of war with Iran and second, to publicize the 9/11 Truth Movement.

This got us thinking: how many of our Scanner readers, you anonymous folks from all over the country (and beyond), think 9/11 involved bombs and explosions in the WTC Towers? And how many of you think the story is complete bullshit?

Fight it out in the comments. Feel free to link to videos, stories, and other stuff (no spam) you think helps your case...

And remember-- no personal attacks. Unless you're funny!

Scanner Reader crashcourse34 Totally Calls International Plagiarism

Bryan Christian — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:07:00 GMT

The Daily Intelligencer reports that The Times of London completely ripped off their "Why You're Still Single" list from Radar Online -- something that Scanner reader crashcourse34 told us all yesterday.

Bravo crashcourse34, you're way faster and more reliable than the actual media. Now explain to us how Obama lost last night.