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Sloppy Seconds: Elisha Cuthbert Survives Harrowing Hit-And-Run

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:36:00 GMT

In Iraq, they have shoe-throwers. In America, egg-tossers.

Jenna Haze was named the porn performer of the year. [NSFW]

Heidi Klum is pregnant with that ba(l)d singer's fourth child.

Elisha Cuthbert survived a hit-and-run driver, thanks to her training for 24. A crazy New York driver (sorry for the double negative) nearly ran her down one recent evening, but she survived by jumping onto the hood. Actually, her story is kind of confusing, mainly because no one seems to know where these out-of-context quotes came from.

The Pay It Forward movement has taken over a couple of Alabama coffee shops.

Maybe it is possible to die of a broken heart: a couple married for over 67 years end up dying just a few hours apart.

Here's proof the right-wingers are completely insane. (We don't have anybody this nutty on our side.)

And Bruno edited itself down to an R-rating. Yay for Unrated DVDs!

Sloppy Seconds: Angelina Jolie Pregnant Again

Smile, or You'll Get Divorced

Does This Supermodel Look Fat To You?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 23:30:00 GMT

And even if she did, so what? It's one thing if she were morbidly obese, but she's not even close to overweight-- and besides, we thought this country had better things to do than criticize a woman's weight.

Earlier this week, Heidi Klum was attacked by a publicity-starved designer for being "too fat" to walk a runway. This German designer, who is too big of a douche to be named here, lest we further his career, is well deserving of the tremendous backlash that his comments were met with.

"Wolfgang is obviously trying to revive his sagging career and get press for himself by riding Heidi''s coattails," the New York Post quoted spokesperson for Klum as saying. [Tim Gunn added] "I can wrap my hand around her bicep."

It's a shame Wolfgang isn't a female person, because we could offer a stockpile of "sagging" puns that would, unfortunately, only stoop to ~~his~~ her low. Anyway, Ol' Saggy Nuts is probably just jealous that his fellow German is more famous than he is... and that Seal won't lend her out for any of Max Mosley's orgies.

Here are some photos from Klum's recent shoot for GQ. Even if they are doctored/Photoshopped, how fake could they be? This woman will be hot until the day she dies, or at least age 67, whichever comes later.

Related:

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Top 5 Sexiest Celebrity Costumes

Hot or Not? Heidi Klum's Got Milk Ad

Top 5 Celebrities Who May Or May Not Be Attractive: Part One

Heidi Klum Is Really, Really Good at Guitar Hero

PapSmeared: Seal Shows Us All a Little Love

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:24:00 GMT

And then he shows his wife some love...

Related:

Heidi Klum Is Really, Really Good at Guitar Hero

Wanna Know How Seal and Heidi Klum Met? Too Bad, You're About to Find Out!

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Caption This: Heidi Klum and Seal Do Halloween Better

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:03:00 GMT

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Big Church Comes from a Big Family, With Big Boobs and All

Emily Farris — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:58:00 GMT

Is anyone really surprised that BigChurch.com, a Christian dating site, is owned by Penthouse Media, which also owns AdultFriendFinder.com (glad we had our pop-up blocker enabled for that one) and bondage.com?

Only the Christians.

Well, only the Christians using the site. And even then maybe we should narrow it down to only the Christians using the site who also believe that anything with the world "Christian" in it is somehow looking out for them.

As our friend Rev. Bryan Hooper (yes, even sex bloggers have pastor friends) said in an email, "Penthouse is a business. Their goal is to make money. The same is true for BigChurch.com. It has nothing to do with religion — good or bad. It's just another marketing angle."

Amen to that.

The financially-struggling Penthouse group recently moved into the social networking world after its old core magazine business was undermined by the explosion of pornography on the internet.

But a series of other Christian websites are highlighting the marriage between the pious and the promiscuous in an effort to woo the devout away from the BigChurch embrace.

No matter who owns it, it appears to be working for some people... if the testimonials are to be believed:

"I feel blessed to have met Shawn on BigChurch.com. I feel like my prayers of finding a respectable man have been answered! Thanks BigChurch!!"

Try to think of it like enjoying the fact that you live in the United States even though you don't agree with the morals of the people running it... oh, wait...

[Telegraph via Fleshbot]

Hot or Not: Heidi Klum Topless in Esquire

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:41:00 GMT

Okay, there really isn't much question on this one, is there? We were kind of kidding about the "hot or not" part just to make you click.

In our latest installment of hot topless women on the covers of American magazines, we have Heidi Klum in Esquire. Unfortunately, we are sick to death of all reality shows and, in particular, reality show hosts. Especially ones that are married to Seal, whom we dislike for that song of his we hear every time we're in C-Town with a hangover.

In any case, fans must wonder why these photos are going up online now-- perhaps to celebrate Project Runway's move to-- gulp-- the Lifetime Television Network? Well, if this is the new look of Lifetime, we may finally stop for more than four seconds when we get to it...

The rest of the photos by Rankin are archived here in a blog post from over the weekend.

These were mainly unavailable online until then, so so what if the original Esquire feature is two years old? You want us to take these down? We thought not.

And don't forget to vote in our Who Would You Rather? poll, featuring two other reality show stars...

Wanna Know How Seal and Heidi Klum Met? Too Bad, You're About to Find Out!

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:33:00 GMT

People magazine has the heartwarming story of how Seal met Heidi Klum:

"I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow," Klum tells Oprah Winfrey on her show's Superstar Couples episode set to air Thursday.

Wow, as in Seal was wearing bicycle shorts.

"And I pretty much saw everything," says Klum. "The whole package."

Wow, as in that's what you're going to tell your kids when they ask how you met? Classy. Well, glad we could solve this burning mystery for you. While we're in the Q & A portion of the morning, go ahead and read up on how Seal got those scars. Now the only question left to answer is "Why, God? Why?"