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Joe Biden's Daughter Caught in Cocaine Scandal?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:46:00 GMT

Ashley Biden, the cute 27-year-old daughter of the Vice President is apparently this year's Kate Moss. Remember how someone secretly filmed the supermodel doing blow at Pete Doherty's recording session? The same thing happened to Ash, only it was at a party, she knew she was being filmed, and now the tape is about to fetch six figures...

If it's true. While we do believe a tape exists, so far no one's been able to prove the cokehead in the video is the First Daughter. Even the New York Post is unsure-- although, of course they milk the story for the little it's worth:

The woman appears to resemble Ashley Biden, 27, a social worker for a Delaware child-welfare agency...

[She] makes repeated references to the drugs, said the lawyers, who said they viewed the tape about 15 times.

"At one point she pretty much complains that the line isn't big enough," said the second lawyer, who declined to identify himself. "And she talks about her dad."

Biden has been an outspoken crusader against drugs, coining the term "drug czar" in 1982 while campaigning for a more forceful "war on drugs." [NY Post]

Whoever she is, she clearly has a drug problem. According to a variety of sources, the young woman on the tape uses a big red straw to snort up a boatload of coke before lashing out at people around her and telling them to "shut the fuck up." (It's also rumored that Biden's longtime boyfriend is pictured in the same frame as her, which would make the tape appear to be genuine.)

The douchebag who filmed all this tried initially to obtain $1.2 for the original, but has scaled back his greed to a mere $400,000. One report says two companies have offered well over six figures for the tape, but not the full 400 g's. Yet...

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I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:09:00 GMT

Lily Allen, I don't know your music. Lily Allen, I'm not even sure why you're famous-- I believe there were some hit singles a few years back and your most recent song is #1 in Britain right now. But #1 hits don't mean anything these days... you really need a good topless scandal... or a pregnancy... or a public spat with Elton John...

Okay, you've done all those things...

Your topless scandal was boring though, since you had died your hair a hideous blond tint. The fight with Elton John was in poor taste because you expressed your tacky love for cocaine. But all is forgiven, Lily Allen, because you have gone back to being incredibly hot.

Last night, Lilly performed at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City as part of one of those fake "secret shows" MySpace has been doing. (Remember MySpace? It was that thing that was hot that one time?) She wore a dress that revealed so little, even this pervy photographer for Brooklyn Vegan couldn't get a crotch shot. And that's just another reason for us to love her all the more...

Via BrooklynVegan.

Related:

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Lily Allen Invents Another Use for Google

Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen in the Fight of Her Life

Smile! Religious Wackos Videotaping You Buying Lingerie

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:42:00 GMT

A righteous pastor and his flock in Vacaville, CA apparently have nothing better to do (other stories in their local newspaper include Teen Book Club To Host Pizza Party and Get In The Picture, Camera Club Forming) than harass residents entering Secrets: Lingerie Boutique...

Jeremy White, a local pastor of student ministeries, has been pointing a camera and holding a sign that says "Sex Good, Porn Bad" because, as everyone knows, wearing lingerie in the privacy of your own home is disgraceful obscenity.

"I'm not trying to embarrass anybody," White said. "If you have absolutely no question of conscience about entering this store, then by all means shop away. However, if even only one of the dozens of customers we've deterred from entering is a married person about to do something shady behind their spouse's back then - mission accomplished."

Ah, isn't it nice to know that rent-a-pastors across the country are looking out for us? God forbid we make our own decisions or that we're allowed to purchase clothing items without having our faces all over YouTube.

Read more at The Reporter's website.