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The First Thing We Needed First Thing This Morning

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:45:00 GMT

This stupid and hilarious video perfectly encapsulates our feelings this morning.

Since it's only 25 seconds long, we won't make this any longer than it has to be: Does that goat sound like Eddie Murphy doing Donkey's voice in Shrek or what? By the way, this also reminds us of what we used to hear through our former roommate's wall-- perhaps he was watching this on repeat?

Related:

Penis, Penis, Peanuts

Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster

NYPD Tase A Nude Man To Death

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:48:00 GMT

At about 1pm yesterday, the NYPD responded to a complaint in Brooklyn about a naked man standing on an awning. About an hour later, after he waved a long fluorescent lighting tube at officers, the man was tased...

...and fell to his death.

We have video of the incident, sfw and without the actual landing (don't worry), below:

The man's name was Iman Morales and, according to his mother, who argued with Morales about an unidentified subject just prior to his leaving their apartment to climb onto the awning, he was very "sick." The fall was only ten feet and wouldn't have killed him if he hadn't landed on his head.

Here is amateur video posted by YouTube user ChooseRonPaul; however, we're not sure who actually shot this footage.

Via YouTube.

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A Naked Man Attacked A Woman and All We Got Was This Lousy Headline

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

RNC Delegate, Robbed By Hooker, Speaks Out In Favor Of More War

While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

Today in the Apocalypse: Hartford Hit And Run

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:30:00 GMT

We aren't kidding when we say this will mess with your head.

Has anyone ever seen The Death of Mr. Lazarescu? It's an amazing, very, very dark "comedy" about a man who is ill and tries to seek medical treatment, only to be delayed, denied, and dead by the end of the film. (If anyone thinks we're giving away anything, they obviously did not read the name of the film carefully.)

This police surveillance video depicts what is clearly one of the craziest examples of (in)humanity ever documented in the YouTube era and a real-life Lazarescu moment...

After a seventy-eight-year-old man was hit by one of two street racers driving erratically on the wrong side of the road.

Pedestrians gawk but do nothing. One driver stops briefly but then pulls back into traffic. A man on a scooter slowly circles the victim before zipping away.
The victim, Angel Arce Torres, was in critical condition in Hartford Hospital. Authorities say he is paralyzed.

See the three-minute video, which ends with the police finally responding to the scene... by coincidence only, having been on another call...

Via WTIC and Hartford Police.

The One Time John Mayer Beats Hardcore Girl/Girl Action

Bryan Christian — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 15:02:00 GMT

Anyone here seen that "Two Girls, One Cup" video that's been showing up around the Webnets? We sure as hell haven't. First we caught word of it, we saw a video of happy-go-lucky kids having their innocence televisually murdered by watching the thing and decided it wasn't for us. We hear Perez Hilton has the clip on his site now, class act that he is, but there ain't a way in hell we're doublechecking or providing a link. What we can do, however, is provide you with the above video from John Mayer and Funny or Die, which purports to give us a, erm, taste of what makes this year's Tubgirl so special without forcing us to violate the sacred trust we've established with our eyeballs. Enjoy!

PS: OK, we know that some of you are seriously going to run out and find the original. We remind you that, as Nicolas Cage so eloquently teaches us, you can never un-see something. So, before you do anything rash, seriously: meet us after the jump to see the karmic havoc that this little clip can apparently wreak.