Scanner : songs

While You Were Sleeping: Sex Tape For Sale

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 May 2009 15:20:00 GMT

We were beginning to think he might actually get away with it: Drew Peterson was arrested yesterday and charged with the murder of his third wife.

John Mayer is playing a series of intimate concerts, featuring only his new material, for his staff.

Gotta love this guy: A bar owner lit up a cigarette at the Ohio health department as a protest over the bar smoking ban. Of course, to top it off, he threatened to have the department fined for allowing him to smoke.

Next on the block for porn parodies: 30 Rock!

Memo to hideous-looking billionaire divorcing Stephanie Seymour: it's all uphill from here.

Believe it or not, kids, pictured above is the cast of The Goonies. And yes, Chunk is the little bald man in back-- at least, that's what everyone says.

Rich Berliners complained about a local brothel, so judges "expected" it and found it to be "discreet." We're not making this up.

Kiefer Sutherland's California probation could be revoked because of his misdemeanor arrest in New York.

Dude, you were making a lot of money off of the Body World thing-- why did you have to go and show two dead people having sex?

And an ex-boyfriend of Deanna Hummel, the woman alleged to have had an affair with Jon Gosselin from the reality show we'd never heard of and think is desperate for some publicity, has released a sex tape of a woman he claims is Hummel. (Very NSFW link here.) At this point, we're guessing there was no affair and, even if there was, this sex tape looks fake.

Matt and Kim Star in the Sexiest Music Video in Years

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:14:00 GMT

This video is too sexy and scandalous (even with all the MTV censorship) for the front page of Scanner.

You'll have to trust us when we say it's well worth the click and 3:38 of your time...

Lessons Learned

We'll be eternally grateful to the person who gives us the full lowdown on all the obvious questions of the video-- who shot it, when, were these paid extras, was anyone arrested, etc. See, we told you it was worth your 3:38, damn it.

Sure beats the bejesus outta that Alanis Morissette charmer from 1998, doesn't it?

More from MTV Buzzworthy.

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Sloppy Seconds: In Which We Consider Michael Chabon's Sexuality, Again

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:21:00 GMT

Do you have what it takes to put together lists of the hottest women in the world (eyes, the ability to count to 100 with or without the help of a computer)? Then you might be in the running toward becoming FHM's next top editor-in-chief. They're looking. [Brand Republic]

Levi Johnston: proof that even if you're a teenage father you can still dream big. Johnston's dream? Becoming a model or actor, of course. [Gawker]

Howard Stern is now Twittering. Well, really it's the Howard Stern Show, which probably means there's a ghost Twitterer. And he is following no one. Jerk. [Twitter]

Half of the female contestants on Bravo's new show "Top Chef Masters" are "chefbians." Er, um, chefs who also happen to be lesbians. [AfterEllen]

What's Prince up to these days? Oh, just singing about Salma Hayek's curves. [Us]

How in the hell did we miss Gay Clay Aiken on America's Next Top Model? [People]

Having read the majority of Michael Chabon's published work, we always questioned his sexuality. We were not the only ones. And apparently we missed that thing he wrote about the time he slept with a man. [Queerty]

[Image]

Bearded Man of the Week: Kris Kristofferson

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Over the next few days, two of your Scanner bloggers will be seeing Kris Kristofferson play solo acoustic concerts. Most people wouldn't even know it if country music's greatest living songwriter passed through their towns, but we never miss him. The author of "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down," "Me and Bobby McGee," "Help Me Make It Through the Night," and many other classics is no showman-- and his voice ain't much these days, either. But few have written songs this good before or since, and that's worth the price of admission alone.

Now, for the first time in ages, Kris is making headlines across the country, thanks to a controversial Rolling Stone article by Ethan Hawke. The anecdote that begins the story is the best music tale we've ever heard... and one you won't want to miss.

Oh yeah... and did we mention lots of beard photos after the jump?

In the new Rolling Stone, Ethan Hawke recites a story that involves hanging with Kris backstage at Willie Nelson's 70th birthday several years ago. While everyone waited in the wings to go on, Toby Keith (he's not named, but it's been confirmed elsewhere) walks by and says, "Hey Kris, none of that left shit out there tonight." We wish we had the full article in front of us (it's not online) so we could recite every word, but here's what we could pick up from press releases and other excerpts:

At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age...
[After Kris said something like, "What did you just say to me?" and stepped to Keith, Willie muttered something about not getting Kris riled up.] Then Kris, an Army vet during the 60's, got in Keith's face and asked, "Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not, so shut the fuck up."
Mr. Keith replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't what me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer. I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"
And then, right there in front of Ray Charles and Norah Jones and Willie Nelson and a bunch of others, Kristofferson told Toby Keith... "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about!"
[Willie, of course, was trying not to laugh. At the end, he told Hawke-- this is not a direct quote-- "Waylon Jennings always used to say, 'Those kind of people did for country music what pantyhose did for finger-fucking.'"
Side note: according to Walyon's son Shooter, his Dad used to say that about one person specifically: Garth Brooks.]

Excerpts via the Tennessean, Rolling Stone, and other sources.

Meanwhile, Toby Keith and Kris Kristofferson both denied the story, with Keith claiming he never even met Kris that night. The media are having a field day with this one, thanks to there being no other entertainment news out there right now.

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Erykah Badu's Stalker

Colleen Kane — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:36:00 GMT

Erykah Badu kept everyone (including Scanner Brian) waiting for her free show at SXSW last week, but she had a good reason. Some obsessive wack job was camped out outside her house.

She twittered it, too, under her handle "fatbellybella": "Police just apprehended a stalker in front of my house. Stay tuned to details."

Here are some of those details...

Driving to Austin now. Just got on road .. Had to file police report .

Poor chic is apparently sick . I feel so awful . Police pepper sprayed her and cuffed her .

White woman mid to late 20's had visited my home 3 or so times . Brought w/ her weird writtings .

I was kind to her first 3 times . I knew something was off . She was wearing a dilla shirt today .

When I came outside she had flowers lined up in front of my house and had spray painted the no parking sign with a peace symbol .

She had several misc. Items spread out in the grass . Blue shutters, a rabbit, a tucan , and a sketch book...

I'm gonna be late for my show ... Messing around with her .

Passing thru Waco now...with dilla played loud .

So .. The lady came to the house 1st time today around 1pm .. After light threats from me and fam she left . Was parked ok the grass in front of my house

So she comes back 30 Min later .. By this time I feel violated for real .. Cause o girl wasn't threatened at all .

Had no choice but to put the ipolice In it . Tried to reason . I felt so bad for her and her dog .

When she saw cops she took off running behind neighbors house
... Obviously she had been to jail b4 cause she wanted no parts of that

By this time there were 6 cop cars , ambulance and a fire truck ..

3 officers chased her on foot whole we all watched .

She finally comes " walking " calmly around corner toward one cop car with that big ass dog

Cop snatched her hand behind her back and she began resisting violently..

Damn I'm late

Hold on my people .

... Anyhow, all I could think of while all this is going on is .. I'm gone be on media take out .. LOL

... Or bossip.com

Scanner Brian adds: "It seemed strange that no one mentioned she would be late. Her group came out without her, late already, kept chanting her name and then abruptly left the stage right at 8pm. The lights went down, so everyone left, angry. As we were at the exit gate, Badu suddenly took the stage, played two songs, and disappeared again. Apparently, they had run out of time and still had to get Explosions in the Sky onstage. Oh well, whatever."

When cops pepper-sprayed, then arrested the fan outside Badu's house, the stalker had arranged various items, like blue shutters, a rabbit, a toucan and a sketch book. Ummm, we would have called the cops, too.

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SXSW In Review: The Best Worst Week

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:19:00 GMT

Scanner Colleen is a spoiled brat. That's all we're going to say about this photo, which we reluctantly captured for her.

After a week in Austin, we're at Scanner Emily's in Kansas City, Missouri, en route to New York. You can practically smell the burnout on our clothes-- or maybe that's the three-day-old B.O.

Either way, we're exhausted for a 12+ hour drive through most of the state of Texas, all of Oklahoma and Kansas, and finally a quick hop over the Missouri border into Kansas City. Amazingly, Emily drove every inch of the way, including several stretches without the coffee IV in her arm. Along the way, we listened back to all the free music we'd obtained-- and here's what we discovered...

To me, at least, these were the five best acts and/or shows we stood through during Austin's South By Southwest 2009 Music Conference.

Richard Swift - we had just arrived at the Bust Party when this up-and-coming crooner/rocker took the stage at the Mohawk. We all planned to hit the bar and clean them out of Lone Star and/or Shiner Bock when Swift kicked into high gear. (Watch a song from his performance here.) Speaking for myself, I forgot my original first priority and the fact that Bishop Allen were playing next and just stood on the balcony, transfixed by the funky, sweet, and tightly-wound opening performance.

Harlem Shakes - We were at Maggie Mae's, thinking We Were Promised Jetpacks were playing. As the Jetpacks hit the stage, our first thought was, "Man, I think I had them confused with another band-- they're rockin', but something's different. A new lead singer?" It turned out, I had misread the Maggie Mae's poster and I was actually seeing Harlem Shakes, which I only realized after standing through the entire set, knowing I was seeing a true breakthrough performance. I'm glad I did.

M. Ward - Years ago, we saw M. Ward open for Cat Power at the Warsaw in Brooklyn. It was altogether-- and to this day-- the worst concert we've ever seen. Ward played a droning series of piano ballads and seemed lost. Chan came out later on and actually was lost-- wandering into a Jim Morrison-like abyss from which she finally emerged a few years later to become the great stage presence we heard through the hair in her face that night. So, it was with great reluctance that we attended BrooklynVegan's party headlined by Ward, lately of She & Him. Within seconds, we had realized two things: 1) Ward continues to distance himself from his audience and 2) the echo added to his vocals, the catchy new songs, and, most of all, the choice of acoustic guitar over piano made for a dramatic about-face from the 2003 (?) show in New York. Check out his latest record and the instantly catchy "For Beginners."

Ken Haddock - for most of the week, we enjoyed free lunches at Latitude 30's British Music Showcase. None of the performers we saw topped our first show-- that of a group of ragtag Belfast folkies hoping for their own little Once deals. Haddock was our favorite, and someone would be wise to cover his songs ASAP.

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - I actually missed their show in the park, but Emily filled us in with some mp3s yesterday. The band, which isn't as (yet) popular as their tour mates Rilo Kiley, seem tighter and more focused than that other California band. Perhaps Thao isn't as distracted by solo projects as Jenny Lewis. Perhaps-- hate to say it-- their music is just better.

There were plenty of notable bands and memorable moments: our friends the Crystal Stilts... the surprise of seeing Dinosaur, Jr. for free at 1:30am at the Bust party... even saving Sylvain Sylvain's cell phone before he was to play with the New York Dolls. But those five artists mentioned above are the ones we came away with expecting we'll be bragging about for the next 12 months.

You should check out their music and do the same.

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Britney Spears Suffers From A Vagina Slip

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:19:00 GMT

The Britney Spears Concert Experience has always come off as a lame run-through of music that was immediately disposable, masked by "sexy" dancers and Kiss-inspired pyrotechnics. For all the "energy" Britney claims to have, it never translates publicly-- from lazy parenting to chewing gum with her mouth open and droning on about how great George Bush is, she can't seem to realize that people need to be impressed. That she isn't going to win over haters with her bad attitude and lack of enthusiasm for her own material should be obvious.

Those weaknesses are visible in this horrible concert performance from Tampa, Florida last night. At the end of "Slave 4 U" (lame, lame, lame), Brit appears to lose the bottom of her dress... according to the internet.

Starpulse and several other sources claim that at the end of this number (skip to the last ten seconds or so of the first clip), Britney's vagina popped out of her outfit... although we can't really see anything even when we blow the video up to fit the screen. UPDATE: Second clip doesn't confirm a slip, but does confirm what she said afterward:

[H]er leotard ripped, accidentally exposing her naked crotch to the audience.
The singer had just finished performing I'm A Slave 4 U and was being lowered beneath the stage when she revealed her costume blunder. Failing to realize her microphone as still on, she said, "My pussy was hanging out!" - causing the arena to erupt in laughter. But she refused to let the mishap hold up her set, with Spears completing her costume change and continuing on with the show. [Starpulse]

How do they know she wasn't talking to the audience? Just because she was being lowered down doesn't mean she thought her mic would be off. After all, this is Britney Spears we're talking about-- should we be surprised that she thought this revelation would be beneficial to the concert experience? Judging by her lackluster performance prior to the alleged slip, it shouldn't be any surprise that she doesn't really know what she's doing.

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Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Keith Richards Shows Us His Other Appendage... No, Not the Guitar, Silly...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:40:00 GMT

Last night, we attended the opening reception of the Not Fade Away Gallery in New York City, which is first hosting a treasure trove of unreleased photos of the Stones and Beatles in their early days. Uncensored behind-the-scenes photos of Ringo acting the fool, Brian Jones getting wasted on margaritas, and other general merriment dotted the gallery.

We spent a good hour there just waiting for promised special guest Keith Richards to arrive, but eventually gave up. Before we took off, we loaded up on Blue Point beer and snuck several unauthorized photos of the photos, including this one of Keith Richards peeing in what appears to be an outdoor sink...

Click here for the uncensored photo and a close-up.

Is this why he didn't show? Well, it's not like we can tell how big the rest of it is just from him starting to whip it out, but one can make certain assumptions.

Moving along, here are the other photos we snuck... including this great candid of an historic moment: Mick Jagger eyeing an (unopened) copy of Bob Dylan's Bringing It All Back Home, the album that many consider the first "rock" record...

Again apologies for the poor photography, but we had to be sneaky. If you want to visit the gallery, here's that information.

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Someone Should Really Name This Johnny Cash Week...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:41:00 GMT

Two of the most memorable moments in the life of Johnny Cash occurred during the last week of February, one in 1969 and the other in 1932.

Can you guess what they are?

1) Today would've been Cash's 77th birthday. Happy birthday, old soul, wherever you are.

2) On February 24th, 1969, Johnny performed at San Quentin Prison in California, a concert that resulted in his second successful live album in a row and his biggest hit single of all-time, A Boy Named Sue, a novelty song by Shel Silverstein. Inmates were treated to songs by Carl Perkins, the Statler Brothers, the Carter Family, and Johnny, who played with a revolving cast of musicians from those groups, including wife June Carter. He debuted a new song, "San Quentin," which went over so well, he immediately played it again. (Some have speculated that the rapturous reception was "added" to the recording, since the inmates had remained unwilling to support a song attacking the possibly vindictive guards, but then why would Cash play it a second time right away?)

About halfway through the show, Johnny tried out "A Boy Named Sue" on the inmates, who are seen in this video lapping it up, guffawing all the way. Now that's a captive audience.

The song would hit #1 on the country and #2 on the pop charts. Miss you, big guy.

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

CNN looks at one convicted murderer's life after DNA vindication.

The Obamas announced what kind of puppy they're going to get. My, they are drawing this out like a Stephen King serial novel, aren't they?

High School Fight Club didn't turn out to be as funny as the movie.

A New Jersey beauty queen was arrested for counterfeiting... beware the frightening pictures of the other two culprits!

Was this a brilliant bank robbery or what? Let's hope there's a movie in the works.

Ryanair hates bloggers... although, in the company's defense, they do have their reasons.

Anna Paquin is dating her True Blood co-star.

That awesome fake vintage video game in The Wrestler? It's real... unfortunately, it's not for sale... yet.

And does this Leonard Cohen "poem" in the New Yorker mean he's working on new songs?

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While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge had her home broken into by two very bizarre young citizens. In surveillance footage, they can be seen wandering aimlessly from room to room... and back again... and again... without doing much of anything, let alone steal anything or set fire to the place.

Arrested Development: the Movie was finally greenlit, thanks to lazy-assed Michael Cera coming aboard.

This oh-so-adorable young lady was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend's nutsack. Prior to this incident, they had broken up "approximately 20 times," yet she seemed rather surprised to find that the dude had another ladyfriend over for the night.

We were all excited to hear Andy Richter would be rejoining Conan on TV, but it turns out he's just going to be the announcer. Guess Conan's enjoying his solo career.

Can a resident of the UK explain to us why so many Brits use "miles an hour" in their speech? Does it have something to do with the universal use of nautical miles? (Oh, and check out the video we just linked to. The 71-year-old dude quoted in it is our new personal hero.)

The Beatles recorded a version of "Revolution" that was only recently discovered and you really must hear it.

Is McDreamy really leaving the hospital on Grey's Anatomy?

And Maxim men of the world, rejoice: Megan Fox is single again. But before you get any ideas... guess which first name she has tattooed near her crotch? She wouldn't even have to deal with that pesky removal process if she just returned our calls...

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Top 10 Breakup Songs

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:22:00 GMT

We gave you a partial day off yesterday to help you (us) recover from Valentine's Day. Were there any casualties on the field?

If so, then it's true... breakup season has begun... and with it comes a playlist to help you make it through the night...

10. Bob Marley & The Wailers - No Woman, No Cry. Bob Marley's anthemic reggae single from 1974 was actually (allegedly) written by a guy who worked at a local soup kitchen. Either that or Marley wanted to ensure the guy received enough in royalties to keep his charitable organization alive. In any case, it's impossible to not be uplifted by this chorus-- although many have often tried to interpret it. "Does it mean because he has a woman, he isn't crying or what?" Choice lyrics: "My feet is my only carriage/So I've got to push on through/But while I'm gone, I mean: Everything's gonna be all right!" Mood: Ready to embrace life again.

9. Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way. From 1977's smash Rumours album, this is the only song on our list written as a breakup song from one band member to another-- in this case, from Buckingham to Nicks. Strangely enough, Nicks knew the song was about her and agreed to sing it... although she asked Lindsay to remove the choice line "Packing up, shacking up is all you want to do" because she never cheated on him. He disagreed or at least didn't want to remove it and the song stands as is. Mood: Venting, prone to leaving epic voice mails.

8. Elvis Presley - Heartbreak Hotel. The biggest song of 1956 is still a great breakup song more than four decades later. It's combo of somber lyrics and an infectuous melody is the perfect combination when you're in the mood for a sympathetic soul and inspiration to go forward. And, of course, it's always worth a listen in any situation. Choice lyrics: All of them, but particularly the opening: "Well, since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell/Its down at the end of lonely street/At heartbreak hotel." Mood: Lonely, in need of a lift.

7. Alanis Morrisette - You Ought Know. We never liked this or any of her songs, especially after we learned "You Oughta Know" is about that douche from that awful Full House show, but you can't argue with the anger here. Or those choice lyrics: "Would she go down on you in a theater?" Sadly, she will not. Mood: If you're the breaker-upper and you're not sure the switch was the best move.

6. Ani DiFranco - Untouchable Face. Maybe it's because of who we hung out with and where we grew up, but it seemed like every girl we went to high school with popped this in their CD player and hit repeat when they got dumped. Those choice lyrics "fuck you in your untouchable face/fuck you for existing in the first place" may have had something to do with it. Mood: Angry, wishing you weren't still in love.

5. Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now. Mitchell's classic folk tune from the late sixties is often interpreted as reflections by a narrator who has seen the two viewpoints of everything in life, but particularly love. At first, she sees love as a fairytale and isn't prepared for the reality, that not everything will be perfect. Once she's reconciled to this, the narrator is finally able to take on a relationship full prepared. Choice lyrics: "I've looked at love from both sides now/From give and take, and still somehow/It's loves illusions I recall/I really don't know love at all." Also: "Tears and fears and feeling proud/To say I love you right out loud." Mood: Reflective and ready.

4. Paul Simon - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. Not all breakup songs have to be from the point-of-view of a lover. Remember, your friends can hate your ex's, too. Choice lyrics: "Just slip out the back, Jack/Make a new plan, Stan/Don't need to be coy, Roy/Just get yourself free." Mood: Glad you listened to your friends in getting out of that one by the skin of your teeth.

3. Bob Dylan - Tangled Up in Blue. During the mid-seventies, while undergoing a rough period in the relationship with his wife, Dylan lived in New York City and began studying painting. His new-found love of art and his relationship weigh in equally on his 1974 album Blood on the Tracks, which depicts a series of breakups in its songs, all with nonlinear narratives and unfinished portraits of the characters. The obvious example is, of course, Tangled Up In Blue, which shifts back and forth through time, ending with the immortal final stanza and its memorable lyric "Now I'm going back to her again/I got to get to her somehow" and the last lines "We always did feel the same/We just saw it from a different point of view/Tangled up in blue." Thanks to these pleas, he was able to get his relationship going for three more years until he blew it for the last time. Choice lyrics: "And when finally the bottom fell out/I became withdrawn/The only thing I knew how to do/Was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew/Tangled up in blue." Mood: Devastated.

2. Smokey Robinson & the Miracles - The Tracks of My Tears. This is the "I don't care about you" song that lets them know that, deep down, you really do care. If you see him with another girl, just remember that she's just his rebound babe and that the one he really wants is you... whenever you're ready to come back around. As Oliver Stone says over a scene featuring this tune on the Platoon DVD commentary: "Humanity is engraved in this music." Choice lyrics: "So take a good look at my face/You'll see my smile looks out of place/If you look closer it's easy to trace/The tracks of my tears." Mood: Not over you, leaving that door open, but on the rebound.

1. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive. It's hard to imagine that people have made breakup song lists that not only haven't placed this at #1, but have left them off entirely. At least they could've included that funkified Cake cover. Anyway, what can we say about this song that isn't obvious: it's a disco classic, it's a breakup song, and it's sappy and motivational. Choice lyrics: "Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive/I've got all my life to live/I've got all my love to give and I'll survive/I will survive." Mood: Tony Cliftonesque.

Honorable Mention: Hurt - Johnny Cash; The One I Love - r.e.m.; Hit the Road Jack - Ray Charles; Always on My Mind - Elvis Presley / Willie Nelson. What songs have gotten you through a bad breakup?

Playlist:

The Tracks Of My Tears [Single Version (Mono)]

Link to mp3 of Both Sides Now

Tangled Up In Blue

Go Your Own Way [LP Version]

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover [Album Version]

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While You Were Sleeping: Is This The Dumbest Woman in the World?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Some band called The Fray has the #1 album in the United States. Remember what we said yesterday about Lily Allen having #1's and no one knowing who she is? It's a trend.

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged. Mark our words-- these two will stayed married forever, or at least four months.

Want to know how much Facebook is worth? Nothing, and dropping. (Okay, really, it's allegedly in the billions... until Twitter takes over the social networking market.)

Here she is: the first famous homeless woman.

Wait, how do you get into a relationship with possible murderer Drew Peterson, go on TV, tell the whole world you were just using him, and then go right back into a relationship with him? We hate to say it, but we have no sympathy left for what might happen to this woman, who may be the dumbest in the world. She's been warned.

One reality show contestant showed San Francisco liberals can be just as awful at dealing with humans as everyone else.

Nicolette Sheridan is quitting Desperate Housewives.

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I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:09:00 GMT

Lily Allen, I don't know your music. Lily Allen, I'm not even sure why you're famous-- I believe there were some hit singles a few years back and your most recent song is #1 in Britain right now. But #1 hits don't mean anything these days... you really need a good topless scandal... or a pregnancy... or a public spat with Elton John...

Okay, you've done all those things...

Your topless scandal was boring though, since you had died your hair a hideous blond tint. The fight with Elton John was in poor taste because you expressed your tacky love for cocaine. But all is forgiven, Lily Allen, because you have gone back to being incredibly hot.

Last night, Lilly performed at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City as part of one of those fake "secret shows" MySpace has been doing. (Remember MySpace? It was that thing that was hot that one time?) She wore a dress that revealed so little, even this pervy photographer for Brooklyn Vegan couldn't get a crotch shot. And that's just another reason for us to love her all the more...

Via BrooklynVegan.

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Top 10 Sexiest Album Covers of All Time

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:57:00 GMT

10. Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass - Whipped Cream & Other Delights. The other delights, unfortunately, are mainly covered up by the whipped cream, but this is still vintage goodness.

9. Betty Davis - They Say I'm Different. The woman once married to Miles (hence how she got the movie star-esque name) has two of the sexiest album covers ever. We can't explain why we love our #9 choice... or why we chose it over her possibly sexier "Nasty-Gal" photo...

8. The Pixies - Surfer Rosa. We've listened to this album about 300 times and we still don't know who Surfer Rosa is or why Kim Deal gets upset when Black Francis yells "you fucking die." But yeah, gotta love the field-hockey-players-and-the-coach sex scandal story. Oh, and the cover ain't bad either... and those catchy tunes... and... and...

7. Shakira - Oral Fixation. With a title like that, you'd think Shakira wants to be treated like a sex object-- but look, there's a baby! And this sluttastic photo is playfully Biblical, so you know she's a good Catholic girl. Right?

6. Blondie - Parallel Lines. For Halloween one year, we had a girl dress as Debbie Harry and we joined her in the easy-as-hell hipster uniform worn by the guys in this photo-- and damn it if we weren't sexy as all hell. The other night, we saw Debbie Harry play a fundraiser with a local high school band, doing bizarre and funky versions of "Heart of Glass" and other classics from that album. (We had a boner both nights.) Mainly, this cover is incredibly sexy thanks to the dudes with their shit-eating grins realizing how lucky they are to even be associated with a knockout like Debbie Harry, who makes this one helluva photo with that scowl contrasting their gleeful faces.

(Trivia: what future famous person picked Debbie Harry up in his car one night when she was walking home from waitressing at Max's Kansas City. Hint: he was a creep and she jumped out of the car at the next red light. Answer: Ted Bundy.)

5. The Strokes - Is This It? One could make about a dozen jokes about this album and its cover ("Heh heh... I bet they like to "Stroke" it to their own cover..." or "Is this it? Indeed, how come the album isn't as good as the cover?" for starters.) We'll just mention that whimpy Americans don't even have this picture on their 2001 records because it was deemed "too risque." So was the song New York City Cops-- but that's understandable, given 9/11 occurred just before the record's initially-planned release date.

4. Pulp - This Is Hardcore. A record with only one good song ("Like A Friend," and it isn't even the best of the two released versions)-- hey at least the cover makes for good wallpaper.

3. Ween - Chocolate and Cheese. Personally, we prefer the cover where they parody Leonard Cohen's Best of album using the Elephant Man, but these boobs are pretty sensational. Speaking of sensational, get a load of that belt! We might even wear that thing if it came our way...

2. The Cars - Candy-O. We're pretty sure this ain't no real woman, but for you anime freaks out there, this is one to get your keyboards sticky over. Ew, ew, ew-- pretend we didn't even say that. By the way, for some unimaginable reason, girls tend to get in the mood when The Cars come on the radio-- even if the song is "Let the Good Times Roll." FYI, dudes.

1. Roxy Music - Country Life. Their first US top 40 record (it went Top 5 in Britain), Roxy Music's Country Life is an obvious choice for #1 because of the near-nudity factor. (Of course, there are dozens of possible candidates for this list that have nudity in their covers, but they simply weren't as hot. Maybe for our Part Two someday...) Here's what Wikipedia has to tell us about this glorious photo:

The cover features two scantily-clad models, Constanze Karoli... and Eveline Grunwald. Bryan Ferry met them in Portugal and persuaded them to do the photo shoot as well as to help him with the words to the song "Bitter-Sweet". Although not credited for their photos they are credited on the lyric sheet for their German translation work.

The cover image was considered controversial in some countries such as the United States, Spain, and The Netherlands, where it was censored for release. As a result, a later American LP release of Country Life (available during the years 1975-80) featured a different cover shot. Instead of Karoli and Grunwald posed in front of some trees, the reissue used a photo from the album's back cover that featured only the trees.^.Author Michael Ochs has described the result as the "most complete cover-up in rock history." [Wikipedia]

Honorable Mentions: Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking; Jennifer Lopez - On the 6; and one of the Slunt records. Suggestions are welcome for a follow-up list...

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Amazon Giving Away Lots of Great mp3's

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

Someone alerted us to this list of 500 free Amazon mp3 downloads. While most of them are obscure and probably terrible, we must remind you: they are free. (You think we actually sat there and downloaded them all... and then listened to them? You must really believe that old rumor about us bloggers sitting around in our underwear all day watching Oprah. No way, man, we have schedules and-- worse-- laundry to take care of.)

Some of these are weaker album tracks you probably wouldn't have downloaded with your purchase of the hit singles by these artists, but with the economy the way it is, you could save $17 on a Valentine's Day CD purchase by just downloading these for your significant other and then calling it a mix CD. (We especially recommend you all download the first song listed here, which is just one of four near-classics on the new Eno-Byrne album. The Bell X1 and Loudon Wainwright tracks are particularly good, as well...)

Strange Overtones by David Byrne/Brian Eno

100 Days, 100 Nights by Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings

Dead Sound by The Raveonettes

Motel Blues by Loudon Wainwright III

Skunk (Sonically Speaking) by the MC5

Eve, The Apple Of My Eye by Bell X1

Everybody's Got To Learn Some Time(Dna Mix 93) by the Korgis

...and a few we haven't heard that might be decent...

Another World by Antony & the Johnsons

Hesitation Blues by Asleep at the Wheel w/Willie Nelson

How Come (Album Version) by Ray Lamontagne

Hurtin' You by Ben Kweller

Prayer Wheel by Nels Cline

And with that, here's the full 500.

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This Kid Is Sooo Wasted...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:02:00 GMT

The only time we've ever driven under the influence is after a visit to the dentist. We can't remember why we needed so much "laughing gas" and novocaine (or whatever it was they gave me before, one assumes, jumping my bones and filming it, a la that Seinfeld episode), but in any case, we remember turning on the car and "Mrs. Robinson" coming over the radio. For some reason, this was all of a sudden the funniest song ever recorded, and we began to sing along in a deliberate monotone that made the song sound like William Shatner with a brutal hangover. Then we started up the car and drove home, not remembering how to get there.

This 7-year-old boy got to have that experience, thankfully years before being allowed to drive. Luckily, his father, who apparently has no shame (or fear of being accused of exploiting children for YouTube glory), had promised to record the boy's tooth removal procedure in a kind of "before and after." Don't ask us why he thought the kid wanted this-- it doesn't really make much sense. Anyway, the poor kid is absolutely out of his mind-- veering from lucid blubbering to high-pitched screaming and back again in just under ten seconds.

Also, he is wearing a Florida Gators football t-shirt. That really says it all for us: this took place in Florida, the nation's craziest state.

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Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:15:00 GMT

We're barely even at the "attempting to wakeup" stage on this Monday morning, but luckily, Lily Allen has made another public faux pas that is quickly waking us up.

At this rate, we might even be able to operate heavy machinery or, even better, a margarita blender by noon...

Lily Allen, who has been telling the press about her "lesbian fantasies," took a swipe at G-A-Y fundraiser no-show Britney Spears by dressing up as Spears for an encore of "Womanizer" at the event over the weekend. The pop star, who as of today has a #1 single on the UK charts, dressed up in a sluttastic outfit that had the paparazzi like the attack dogs they most certainly are. A few of them tried to stick their cameras under her dress as she exited her car to sing at the event in Great Britain.

Fortunately for us, the Sun, the Daily Mail, and virtually ever other English publication caught the moment when she decided to sort of "moon" the crowd. We bring you only the highest quality source-- because you deserve it:

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The Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie is doing well overseas-- hey, he has a career after all...

Judah Friedlander weighed in on the Super Bowl... before the game.

Barack Obama's brother was released from jail following a pot posession charge.

The latest victims in the newspaper crash: LA Times staffers.

The latest victims of Sarah Palin's constant white lies: Republicans.

Lisa Loeb is no longer a "#1 single."

This dumbass thinks someone will buy his 867-5309 number on ebay after telling the New York Times it gets hounded with prank calls.

The Transformers sequel had its trailer premiere during the Super Bowl.

Jennifer Hudson returned to the public eye for a dynamite performance of the National Anthem at the Super Bowl.

Michael Phelps was busted by photographer and eyewitnesses getting stoned via "a marijuana pipe" at a South Carolina college party.

And we finally found someone with a more bizarre life(style) than Britney Spears: her ex, the guy she just slapped with a restraining order, Adnan Ghalib.

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The Beatles Get Back to Where They Once Belonged

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:05:00 GMT

It was forty years ago today when Paul McCartney told the band to play.

The Beatles were on the roof of Apple Corp., their record company's building, gearing up to play and record the songs from their stalled "Get Back" sessions. It was freezing as hell and they hadn't performed live in over three years, but as you can see here, the band was in great spirits...

Today, Apple employees in London wanted to have a memorial party in the same spot as the Beatles' last public performance, but the police vetoed it. Wouldn't that have been incredible?

Luckily for us Americans, Ken Mansfield is holding a similar tribute concert on the roof of Seattle's Pike Place Market:

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of The Beatles' last performance, the band's former U.S. manager, Ken Mansfield, is teaming up with Seattle Beatles cover band Crème Tangerine for a free performance at Pike Place Market Friday. Mansfield was standing with Yoko Ono for the Beatle's final show, just steps away from the band. It was an impromptu performance to a London lunch crowd atop the rooftop of their record company, Apple... [Seattle Times]

If you're there, check it out and report back to us, will you?

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While You Were Sleeping: Mickey Rourke's Wrestling Career

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:58:00 GMT

John Landis, the director of the Thriller video, is suing Michael Jackson, who wants to do a Broadway musical of the hit song.

This is the funniest prisoner escape story we've yet come across.

Here's how we really do not want to die: sitting on a toilet, having just masturbated with a gas mask over our faces, discovered by a co-worker, on our second day on the job.

Blackwater has been denied a license to kill operate in Iraq.

Cindy Adams weighs in on the Oscar buzz (now they're saying Sean Penn will win Best Actor) and celebs griping about photographers.

The latest White House rumor? Michelle Obama is pregnant.

And Mickey Rourke will not participate in Wrestlemania after all. He was probably joking around-- either that or they didn't offer him enough moolah.

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Top 10 Cover Songs of All-Time

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:10:00 GMT

A while ago, someone pointed out to us that ever list of the best cover songs of all-time includes cuts like "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" by Guns 'N Roses or hits by-- gulp-- Cher. Hopefully, this will be at least a step in the right direction...

10. Step Into a World (Rapture's Delight) - KRS-One. We have to admit, this is only on here because there's no other hiphop cover that's as close to our hearts. You can keep your lame Fugees cover of "Killing Me Softly," which even that group's members despise. You can keep your P. Diddy sampling/ripoff garbage. KRS-One didn't need to cover or even sample Blondie's "Rapture" for us to remember this cut from the mid-90s-- that's how superior it is to other hiphop covers.

Step Into A World (Rapture's Delight)

9. Comfortably Numb - The Scissor Sisters. This is pure pop, and maybe the disposable kind: disco. However, to take a classic like Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" and not only turn into a catchy dance freakout, complete with a far more memorable melody has gotta count for something, no?

[YouTube link]

8. Crossroads - Cream. This is an old Robert Johnson song, one that guitar player Eric Clapton was dying to tear into for years before this live performance at the Fillmore. He's never been able to top this, not even on Layla. After years of listening to it, we're still awed by that brutal solo.

Crossroads

7. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley. It's come down to this-- it takes an angry backlash by a dead singer's internet fanbase to give Jeff Buckley the Top 5 hit he always deserved with this Leonard Cohen song. Although pretty much every version except the John Cale attempt (which is arguably even more famous, since it was used in Shrek) is worthy of the Master, it would be hard to top the simple beauty of young Buckley's 1994 release, which grows sadder every year. "All I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew ya."

Hallelujah

6. Hurt - Johnny Cash. Neither one of his best songs nor one of his best covers (those would be Folsom Prison Blues and Sam Hall, respectively), but seeing how there are so many people that think this is his peak, we find ourselves including it here anyway. In this version, recorded shortly before his death, Cash stripped away the anger of Trent Reznor's initial take on the material, giving it the devastating treatment it really deserved. Even notoriously pop-minded country music fans dug it-- it went on to win the CMA for Single of the Year.

Hurt

5. Me and Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin. "If it sounds country, man, that's what it is-- it's a country song." Despite being a very pop version of a nostalgic Southern anthem by Kris Kristofferson, Joplin's first and only #1 is still essential for road trip mixes more than three decades after her death.

Me And Bobby McGee

4. House of the Rising Sun - the Animals. When Eric Burdon bought Bob Dylan's first album, he discovered, amid a bunch of forgettable covers, an obscure traditional folk song about a little girl in New Orleans. Alan Price provided the unmistakable keyboard intro and the Animals had a #1 song, just like that, a prize that should have been their first of many. Unfortunately, this is the one for which they are best remembered.

House Of The Rising Sun

3. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Cocker. This cover of a song from the Sgt. Pepper album was such a tremendous success that the Beatles took out a full page ad in a newspaper to congratulate Cocker on the arrangement. And that was before he'd performed what for us is the single greatest concert number of the 1960s-- seen here at Woodstock:

2. Respect - Aretha Franklin. "That woman stole my song," Otis Redding said of this version, his tone a mixture of pride and despair. Today, you can't play the songs back to back without saying, "Ouch, she really whipped the original's ass, didn't she?"

Respect [Album Version]

1. All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix. We don't really need to explain why this is #1, do we? Just for fun, we'll remind you of the story of a London studio in early 1968, where Jimi sat working on a new record, when someone burst in with tapes from Bob Dylan's late-'67 Nashville sessions. Hendrix immediately began reworking the short, sparse, and folkie tune into a full-on electric guitar assault. We'll let Dylan tell you the rest:

"It overwhelmed me, really. He had such talent, he could find things inside a song and vigorously develop them. He found things that other people wouldn't think of finding in there. He probably improved upon it by the spaces he was using. I liked Jimi Hendrix's record of this and ever since he died I've been doing it that way... Strange how when I sing it, I always feel it's a tribute to him in some kind of way." [Biograph liner notes, via Wikipedia]

All Along The Watchtower

Honorable mentions: Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - the Animals (by Nina Simone); Soul Man by the Blues Brothers and I Thank You by ZZ Top (both recorded by Sam & Dave and written by Isaac Hayes); Mr. Tambourine Man - the Byrds (by Bob Dylan); and Stop Your Sobbing - the Pretenders (written by Ray Davies.)

Obviously, it's much easier to think of atrocious cover songs that radio stations see fit to play these days: Limp Bizkit's "Behind Blue Eyes," Madonna's "American Pie" (never the greatest set of lyrics to begin with, but then you add her insipid melody to it), Britney Spears and Hillary Duff butchering everything imaginable, and just about anything Sheryl Crow has released this century-- especially "The First Cut is the Deepest," which should've made Cat Stevens come out of retirement and do a world tour just to show her how it's done.

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Musicians I'd Like To Finance: Great 2008 CDs By Older Women

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:03:00 GMT

PopMatters has a story today about 2008 being a great year for women in music. And by women, they aren't including 11-year-old Disney pop stars.

However, this is the kind of list that makes you realize it wasn't such a great year for women in music at all...

Heading off the list is the great Sam Phillips, who caught our permanent attention in, of all things, Die Hard With a Vengeance, in which she played the sexiest mute female assassin in the action movie pantheon. Apparently, she's some sort of well-regarded solo artist, as well. (Okay, we knew that-- but aren't you all concerned about the fact that her album is one of the best of the year and you didn't know she had one out?)

Also on the list is perennial favorite and the hottest gray-haired female singer alive, Joan Baez, who did an album this year with Steve Earle. Other runners up: Phoebe Snow, Kathy Mattea, Aimee Mann, and Carlene Carter. Carlene is the daughter of June and stepdaughter of Johnny (Cash, of course.) Aimee Mann got her start in the 80s with 'Til Tuesday and Voices Carry.

What does this mean? In the music business, you can't even get an indie award over the age of 45 if you're a woman who hasn't been big on the scene for many years...

See the full list and reviews at Pop Matters.

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While You Were Sleeping: Viva Bettie Page

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:05:00 GMT

A widely-publicized murder trial took a grimly hilarious tour when it was revealed the man in question had left a list in his FEMA trailer that detailed his plans for getting away with it. Best one: "Throw gun in river."

Eminem has released his first new song in ages.

Dr. Strangelove, like 1984, is becoming a reality: a single prank call almost started a war between India and Pakistan. Not funny, guys.

You wanna steal my husband? Well, says Shania Twain, I'm a-gonna steal yours...

A male babysitter was arrested for producing a sex tape involving a two-year-old girl.

We love myths, hoaxes and just plain idiocy: Strollerderby wants you to know that your vagina will not seal up if you don't use it for sex very often.

And Bettie Page, the now-85-year-old former pinup, had a heart attack over the weekend and is in critical condition, according to the New York Times.

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Arlo Guthrie Hopes You Can Still Get Anything You Want This Thanksgiving

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:43:00 GMT

Arlo Guthrie's 18-minute masterpiece Alice's Restaurant was released 41 years ago this month and it's still an essential part of America's Thanksgiving radio broadcasts.

Play this, plus the hilarious and unforgettable coda seen here, tomorrow and you'll do just fine...

Here's the original recording, in two parts:

And the coda, seen here at Farm Aid in 1987, is our real reason for this post. He did a much better and funnier version of this story in the mid-90s, but this'll do:

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The Saddest And Most Hopeful Story in Rock & Roll

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:55:00 GMT

We've wanted to tell you this story involving the Go-Betweens for a long time now, but never felt it had the ending it deserved.

The tale of this Australian band is one of the saddest in all of rock... and now, deservedly, one with a potential happy ending...

In 2006, we opened up a Village Voice and were stunned to learn that singer-songwriter Grant McLennan, founder of the band and one of its two absolute geniuses, had died suddenly, at 48, and just when things were turning around for him. After decades of baffling obscurity, with some of the catchiest singles since "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," Grant and his longtime collaborate, Robert Forster, were riding high on sales of their 2005 release Oceans Apart, which made many best-of lists and had built a word-of-mouth reputation.

On the night he was to propose to his longtime girlfriend, to bring some peace and stability to a life marred by family tragedy, poverty, and professional trials, McLennan took off his shoes and flopped out on his bed for a brief nap before the engagement festivities. Friends arriving for the party hours later found him having passed away, the autopsy revealing it to have been due to "a massive heart attack."

The tributes were immediate and reminded everyone why it was so shameful the public had ignored this man's songs for so long. Bono's U2 pointed out that Grant's first great song, "Cattle and Cane," was one of the greatest ever written, and likely the best Australian single ever.

We were crushed and unable to listen to anything, let alone the Go-Betweens, for days. It turned out-- so was everybody else, from Sleater-Kinney to U2 to Robert Forster, who was crushed more so than most. But just recently, something interesting began to happen: the Go-Betweens started to take off.

First, there was an Australian radio broadcast covering the Go-Betweens most essential release, 16 Lovers Lane, and a DVD of the broadcast. In the days following the program, Lovers Lane took off, landing at #2 on the iTunes download chart and setting off a wave of new stories about the band. In the midst of all this, Robert Forster's new album came out. We were surprised he could get it together to put something together on his own so soon after Grant's death.

Then we read this:

Q.: How did this all set in motion? Your press release said it was touch-and-go about whether you were ever going to make another record ever. If so, what made up your mind? What was the door opening?

Forster: No, no! I was always going to make an album. It was always my intent. Look, Jack, if even just to get out the Grant songs on the record — he and I were playing those songs. I wanted to make a record if only to get those three out to the world. “Demon Days,” “Let Your Light In, Babe,” and “It Ain’t Easy.” They’re the three that he had the music and the choruses to, and I’ve written the lyrics to, except the first five lines of “Demon Days” are his. The only thing is, I probably made the record a year earlier than what I thought it would be. Besides that, I always wanted to record. [Jesus, that's just beautiful friendship right there.]
Yes, after Grant died, I was in shock, and I was stunned, you know? But I knew I’d record, I just had to find my way out of the shock and the grief and just… I didn’t start playing with Adele [Pickvance, bassist] until like eight months after he died. It just took about that much time to do some songwriting. I was just very much within myself. And then I just phoned her up and we started playing. That was in February last year. But for seven or eight months, I was just taking my time... [Emusic]

And it was well worth it. Critics are already hailing the cuts here as among the best of the year, and the album, The Evangelist, is the year's subtle classic. So, in the end, the Go-Betweens may get their happy ending after all...

Cattle And Cane

Streets Of Your Town

Let Your Light In, Babe

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Sloppy Seconds: Guy Ritchie's Death Threat

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:51:00 GMT

You know, tomorrow isn't all about Obama vs. McCain; it's also about discrimination and hatred. Comedian Ben Lerman would like all cocksuckers (both male and female) to unite in opposition to Proposition 8. And he wrote a little song about it. [Ben Lerman]

Pete Seger just discovered the Internets. "An internet magazine! So you don't have to cut down trees. I'll be damned." [Pitchfork]

Zack and Miri's attempt to make a porno for some dollar bills failed movie executives miserably. [Vulture]

Are you at all surprised that Sarah Palin's SNL episode got better ratings than the angry grandpa's? We're not. [Us]

Yes, Joaquin Phoenix is really quitting acting for good this time. For real. Seriously. [People]

So, did Bert and Ernie make the timeline of landmark gay moments in television? [Mercury News]

A crazed 16-year-old Madonna fan stormed the set of Guy Ritchie's newest film with a knife, screaming, "I love Madonna, where's Guy? I am going to kill him! I'm Madonna's biggest fan! I'm going to kill Guy." [FameCrawler]

Ron Clark Academy Students Almost Restored Our Faith in the Democratic Process

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:40:00 GMT

Only one more day left until the election and these Ron Clark Academy students are going to rap us through it to the tune of TI's "Whatever You Like." Video from CNN below. Prepare to have this song in your head for the rest of the day and to maybe die of an overdose on adorable.

Sloppy Seconds: The Republicans Finally Find a Song

Emily Farris — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 21:21:00 GMT

Holly Madison talks about her break-up with Playboy papa Hugh Hefner. [FadedYouth]

When will Tina Fey be back on Saturday Night Live? The suspense is killing us! [Yahoo!]

Mark Wahlberg is getting married to his girlfriend and baby mama, Rhea Durham. What a funky bunch! [People]

Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer back together? Probably. Do we care anymore? Not really. [Us]

We have a sneaking suspicion that Hank Williams, Sr. wouldn't be too happy about Hank Williams, Jr. finally giving the Republicans their damn song. Especially because it's the worst version ever of an already sort-of bad song.

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The Foo Fighters Would Like John McCain to Stop Comparing Himself to Kurt Cobain

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Poor GOP—it just can't nail down a campaign song.

John Mellencamp and Jackson Browne both told McCain to stop using their songs, then Heart slapped the Republicans with a cease and desist order for the unauthorized use of "Barracuda" to describe the Pitbull in Lipstick. Now the Foo Fighters would like John McCain to stop comparing himself to Kurt Cobain.

True, they were both beautiful in their twenties, and one is dead and the other will probably be dead in a few years. That is where the similarities end, which is why the Foo Fighters want the candidate to stop using their hit, "My Hero" to pump himself up at rallies... and perhaps in the war room, bathroom and bedroom.

"The saddest thing about this is that `My Hero' was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential," the band said in a statement. "To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song."

Well, John. We bet Toby Kieth has a ditty for you. Or maybe Kenny Chesney?

(click the image for a larger, legible view)

[Yahoo!: Foo Fighters tell McCain to stop using song]

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