Scanner : speech

12-Year-Old Girl Tells Your Uterus What's Up

Emily Farris — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:45:00 GMT

This little girl is cute, right? Yeah. Just wait until you hear her speak.

She delivered this to her seventh-grade speech class. (Seventh grade speech class?!). We're all for free speech but perhaps a female should go through puberty before she starts speaking out on abortion. We hate to admit, though, that if we were grading her speech, we would have given her an 'A' (well, an B+ based on the fact that she didn't support her facts about breast cancer, infertility, and depression)—as much as it would have killed us to do so.

Related:

Send Flowers to Your Abortion Doctor

Abortion Issue Heats Up... For The GOP

Hey Film Industry: "Abortion" is Not a Bad Word, Mmmkay?

Scanner Roundtable: What Did We Think About The DNC & Obama's Speech?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:01:00 GMT

According to the Huffington Post, Nielsen says that, in addition to the 80,000 people who saw the speech in person, 38 million people watched Obama the nomination last night on television, "more... than watched the Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing, the final American Idol or the Academy Awards this year."

Well, John McCain's nap could beat the Academy Awards any day, but the real question is: what did we think of the speech?

Early reports are glowing-- at least from the media. But they don't know a damn thing about the public, as evidenced by every story about the election up until Iowa, their wrong guesses on what Obama would say last night, etc. etc.

If you're like us and think the Democratic leadership is generally made up of whimps who have to play nice with a guy who doesn't play nice back, check out this relatively amusing (although pretty thin) John McCain Honorable Attack Generator.

Image via Code Pink.

Barack Obama Takes It to the Hole in a Pair of Very Short Shorts

Into The Wild: The Last of the Democratic Delegates

Classy Hillary Clinton Nominates Obama To The Tearful Strains Of Her Supporters' Hand Claps

Hillary Clinton Strikes Back... Or Plays Nice... Tonight At The DNC

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:01:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton's return to the spotlight this evening will be met with the biggest cheers of the convention at least, one should expect, until Obama's speech on Thursday night...

Below, the full schedule for tonight's "show," plus: did the Dems blow it last night?

7:00PM EDT Economy – “Policy that got us where we are.”
Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, KS, convention co-chair, “GROWING THE ECONOMY”
Gov. Janet Napolitano, AZ, convention co-chair, “GROWING THE ECONOMY”

Gov. Ted Strickland (D) OH. “BUSH FAILED POLICIES”
Gov. Ed Rendell (D) PA. “BUSH FAILED POLICIES”

Gov. Deval Patrick (D) MA. “OBAMA’S ECONOMIC POLICIES”
Sen. Bob Casey Jr., PA. “OBAMA’S ECONOMIC POLICIES”

Gov. Brian Schweitzer (D) MT. “OBAMA ENERGY POLICY.”
Federico Pena, Fmr Energy Sec. “OBAMA ENERGY POLICY.”

8:00PM EDT
Women of the Senate
Sen. Chris Dodd, CT

9:00PM EDT
Al Gore
Libby Ledbetter

10:00PMEDT
Fmr. Gov. Mark Warner, VA. Keynote address
Senator Clinton Video
Clinton introduces her mother
Sen. Hillary Clinton, NY. “Headline Prime Time speaker”
Possible Obama remote live into convention

We're hoping they put Hillary on at a more reasonable time than indicated above (wouldn't it be better if by "Prime Time," they actually meant "we're going up against House reruns and another worthless America's Got Talent half-hour at 8 or 9pm") and that she hits McCain hard. Not on age, not on the Bush stuff, but on the shit that will stick: houses, the continued Republican incompetence on Iraq, the economy, Katrina, and on and on...

Hillary is out best hope to hammer away at McCain's surge (pun intended) in the polls, since, as it became very clear last night, the most aggressive politicking will have to wait until the RNC, where speakers are sure not to whimp out. (Ted Kennedy almost hit Bush on Iraq, but his words were something like "Obama will not try to bring our troops into a pointless war" instead of "John McCain wants another hundred years in Iraq-- this guy wouldn't know a failure if he was playing first base for the '86 Red Sox!" Or... um... whatever.)

Let us know what you thought of the DNC's opening night and what you hope to see tonight and beyond...

Related:

DNC Kicks Off Tonight With Ghosts Of Party Past

Who Would You Rather: House vs. McDreamy

If The Election Were Today... Round Two

The Wit and Wisdom of John McCain

Hillary Dresses Up As Stewardess, World Blocks Out Image

Nader Claims Obama Is Talking White, Last Two Supporters Quit

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Obama with Grandpa and Grandma.

The fact that Barack Obama is half-white should mean even dumb politicians would know better than to accuse him of "talking white." But that's just what Ralph Nader did, effectively ending his relevance for good...

"There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader told the [Chicago Sun Times]. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white?"

White people everywhere should be offended. Christ, black people everywhere should be offended.

Speaking Wednesday, Obama almost sounded sorry for Nader.

"Ralph Nader hadn't been paying attention to my speeches, because all the issues that he talked about -- whether it be predatory lending, the housing foreclosure crisis . . . I've devoted multiple speeches," Obama said. "Ralph Nader is trying to get attention. I think it's a shame because if you look at his legacy in terms of consumer protections, its an extraordinary one."

Obama went on to accuse the Independent candidate for using shock tactics to get attention. Ralph, wake up! The torch has been passed, whether or not you did the hand off yourself. Time to rescue your image, not doom it forever.

Via the Chicago Sun Times.

Is Obama Losing His Cool?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:24:00 GMT

We never thought we'd say this, but The New Republic nails it on the head about Obama's controversial and dumb-as-rocks San Francisco speech.

As a reminder, here's what his raised such a fuss:

And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

What do you think of New Republic blogger Johnathan Chait's response:

But on their face they're not wrong, they simply make no sense at all. I can see how anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment is a way to explain your frustrations. But guns?
Obviously, people have not turned to religion or guns as a response to economic frustration.
I think he was trying, in extremely jumbled shorthand, to make a point about a politics that revolves around cultural division. Now, the incoherent wording of his remarks is an opportunity for his opponents to fill in their own meaning.

Whatever Obama's point was supposed to be, it was lost to most of the masses. And more importantly, to the state of Pennsylvania. One new poll shows a slight dip for the Illinois Senator in next Tuesday's matchup, while another shows it still locked at Hillary by 6. (However, some observers speculate his TV-ad saturation is what's causing the backlash in the state.)

Unless one candidate delivers a knockout blow next week, look for Hillary to carry on doing an excellent job of finding weak spots in her opponent's candidacy. In this case, she found out what we've known all along: Obama should stick to his script.

Read the rest of the New Republic blog entry here.

Obama's Anti-Racism Speech Inspires Comedians To Get All Racist

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:52:00 GMT

Leave it to comedians Chris Rock, Pauly Shore, and Pat Buchanan to get all racist about the Obama speech on racism. (Wait a minute... one of those guys isn't a comedian! And Pat Buchanan isn't funny either....)

Shore was videotaped whining that he's not successful because he's "not black," and "I need to be black, because if I was black, I'd be doing good...
I mean, all the black comedians are doing good. You have D.L. Hughley, you have Monique, Cedric the Entertainer, Martin Lawrence, Charlie Murphy. White people are screwed. Especially in my industry, they're screwed. White people are going to be picking cotton within, like, literally within three years." Sadly, he was serious.

Well, duuuhh... that's because he's not a comedian. Certainly not a comic in the same panethon as Chris Rock-- that is, a brilliant young man who we'd bet our bottom dollar had something intelligent to say about all this "Black Man For President" fuss:

"I don't think a black woman can be first lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it! A black woman can be president, no problem. First lady? Can't do it. You know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you're president? 'Honey, I did it! I won! I'm the president.' 'No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be secretary of state! She can fight!'" [Rolling Stone, via PageSix]

Pat Buchanan caused a minor stir, mainly because Scanner Brian is the only person who actually watches The McLaughlin Group, for his insightful comments into the state of race relations in this country:

America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. [via Buchanan's blog, which we won't link to under any circumstances]

We're laughing so hard about that opening line that we almost forgot to add a few more things:

There was even a racist hubbub at Fox News, home of humorist and feminist Bill O'Reilly, where infighting led to walkoffs and smackdowns. Yawn.

And on Sunday, we read an interview with Kris Kristofferson, wherein he quotes a country music DJ who said the problem with MLK's assassination was that there weren't enough bullets for Jesse Jackson as well. But the DJ can be excused, apparently, because he's not a comedian. Again, we're not sure what Pauly Shore's excuse is...

[Image via BuddyTV]

You've Lost That Loving Feeling

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:30:00 GMT

This is the moment that Hillary Clinton believes will turn the tide of the primaries?

This morning, her campaign chair, Terry McAuliffe, sent out an e-mail message with a link to this video, calling it "the moment of the debate."

Seriously, people, this is why she cannot win this election or any other: if you turn the sound off, you can see right through anything she says. Does anyone truly think, both candidates being relatively similar on the issues, that Hillary Clinton is the better candidate against Senator John McCain?