Scanner : stevie wonder

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

A teenage girl sent 14,528 text messages in one month-- proving that actual, human conversations, even ones over the telephone, are dead. (And yes, her family had her on an unlimited SMS plan.)

We're pretty sure George W. Bush's final news conference will go down in history as his most memorable. Check out the full text here.

Can someone explain to us why Megan Fox thinks she looks like this guy?

And you thought Mail Googles were useless? Turns out they're helping people who e-mail in their sleep.

Would you support a ban on cell phones while driving?

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez? Well, they've already dated everyone else.

Congress will be televised on YouTube. We're starting to think YouTube has gotten too popular for its own good-- like MySpace, when your grandmother joined up.

And Bruce Springsteen, Shakira, Usher, Sheryl Crow, Beyonce Knowles, and Stevie Wonder are among the highlights of the Obama inaugural shows.

Related:

Thousands Run Amok In Their Underwear

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut

While You Were Sleeping: The Giant Penis Show

While You Were Sleeping: Update on the Pole Dancing Video Game

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Check out this fake police I.D. card a man made for himself. You'll note he didn't completely paint over Chipotle's logo...

Mindy McCready capped off a horrible year with a visit to the psych ward following a suicide attempt. Let's hope the new year presents her with a clean slate.

Here's a great robbery story: a guy demanded money from a cashier at a fast food joint. The cashier laughed and said, "Get a job." The guy then pulled a box cutter and asked for the cashier's wallet, a request that was granted. The cashier had no money either, so they robber left and was quickly arrested.

There is mounting left-wing opposition to Obama's choice of Rick Warren to kick off the inauguration. We think Stevie Wonder would make a great substitute preacher.

By the way, if you just got accepted into Northwestern, you might want to read this. (Same for those who got rejected.)

A man went for a joyride with a hearse. The hearse was idling in front of a funeral home, the sick fuck.

Lindsay Lohan had a close call with a crazy. And no, her father didn't show up at her party or anything.

And it looks like the stripping video game for the Wii is on hold. Yeah, they might need to find a developer before they start, um, developing that...

Scanner Highs and Lows: So Long, Good Luck, and Pass the Turkey

Stripper Pole Company Developing Stripping Game For The Wii

This Year's Most Annoying Christmas Commercial

You Missed Out on Santacon Again...

While You Were Sleeping: Leighton Meester's Jail Story

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:46:00 GMT

Would this have been a good or bad thing? Jessica Simpson claims to have considered giving up singing publicly after her widely panned performance at the Kennedy Center Honors tribute to Dolly Parton.

The boys at school must've loved her: A woman named Yvonne Topless got into a fight with her boyfriend on a public bus in England.

The world's luckiest bastard Daniel Radcliffe lost his virginity at the age of sixteen in a manner we can still appreciate...

The 19-year-old actor confessed in a revealing interview to losing his virginity to an older woman - whose age would raise eyebrows.
Radcliffe admitted he celebrated reaching the age of consent, 16, in the customary manner with a much older girlfriend.
But although he insisted the age difference 'wasn't ridiculous', he did say it 'would freak some people out'.

Is Putin the world's most dangerous human being? Even fucking tigers are scared of this guy now.

One of the world's most wonderful people, Stevie Wonder, is to receive a Gershwin Award from the Library of Congress.

Leighton Meester's mom gave birth to her in a Federal prison, according to a shocking new report. (Talk about humble beginnings-- nice work, girl!)

The actress' mother was serving a federal prison sentence in Texas when she gave birth, and although baby Leighton was born in a halfway house, her mom returned to prison after her daughter turned three months. According to America's Star magazine, Meester was raised by a relative while her mother completed time for her role in an illegal drug enterprise.

And Jennifer Aniston is set to become Alec Baldwin's 30 Rock stalker when the funniest show on TV returns. (Let's just enjoy the fact that Alec Baldwin and 30 Rock are returning and forget about whether or not Aniston was the best casting choice...)

Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Strip clubs in Denver are reporting a decline in business... just since the DNC began.

Why is anyone surprised Axl Rose doesn't bother with pickup lines? If we were him, we wouldn't either... although, um, we probably still wouldn't put it quite like he did.

Scariest headline of the day, via CNN: Airline removes life vests to lighten load

Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder and "i.am" John Legend join obvious choice will.i.am to close out tonight's convention.

We barely even remember hearing about this movie, and now it's getting a sequel?

Your boyhood idols: where are they now?

Just in case, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty has canceled his weekend interviews.

Kimora Lee Simmons denies she's pregnant. Meaning someone reportedly cared enough to print that she may have been.

Do you believe this story:

Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone has accused Demi Moore of deliberately squirting breast milk at his gay friends.

We don't.

Related:

Scanner : stevie wonder

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

Thousands Run Amok In Their Underwear

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Is Not A Slut

While You Were Sleeping: The Giant Penis Show

While You Were Sleeping: Update on the Pole Dancing Video Game

Yes, Scanner Emily. Chipotle will make you fat.

Scanner Highs and Lows: So Long, Good Luck, and Pass the Turkey

Stripper Pole Company Developing Stripping Game For The Wii

This Year's Most Annoying Christmas Commercial

You Missed Out on Santacon Again...

While You Were Sleeping: Leighton Meester's Jail Story

Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Todd Solondz Moves Reign of Terror Off Shore

Sloppy Seconds: Could We Possibly Love Steve Carell Any More?

The Life-Saving Power of Breasts

Add Denver To The List Of "Places That Scare Us"

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

Hot or Not: Jodie Marsh's Boobs?