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Teacher Who Called Creationism Religious, Superstitious Nonsense Loses His Case

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 19:40:00 GMT

Check out this forward-thinking decision: a court ruled today that a public school teacher who casually dissed creationism during a discussion of European history has been found to have violated a student's First Amendment rights. How did a teacher exercising his First Amendment right to offer an opinion impair someone else's First Amendment rights?

You've already guessed correctly, we're sure.

[Student Chad] Farnan sued in U.S. District Court in 2007, alleging that [James] Corbett violated the establishment clause of the First Amendment by making repeated comments in class that were hostile to Christian beliefs.
The lawsuit cited more than 20 statements made by Corbett during one day of class, all of which were recorded by Farnan, to support allegations of a broader teaching method that "favors irreligion over religion" and made Christian students feel uncomfortable.

During the course of the litigation, the judge found that most of the statements cited in the court papers did not violate the First Amendment because they did not refer directly to religion or were appropriate in the context of the classroom lecture.

But Selna ruled Friday that one comment, where Corbett referred to creationism as "religious, superstitious nonsense," did violate Farnan's constitutional rights.

Remember, you might make Christians uncomfortable by calling a stupid belief in stupid creationism "stupid." You will also get sued (and lose) on the grounds that you are not allowed to have freedom of religion if your religion (atheism, say) violates someone else's freedom of religion. It makes sense on paper, but the Irony Police are banging their heads on their desks and Charles Darwin is rolling over in his grave, as he has done every day for the past century or two...

Via Fox News.

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Sex Ed Class Enjoys Naked Man Parade

This Week in Sex: We Couldn't Stuff It All In

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:06:00 GMT

We hope this is real and not the viral marketing work of some jean company...

Sometimes the stories are too small for their own posts. Sometimes there are two many stories for one week, which is definitely the case here.

Today, we'll present: the Not Ready For Daytime Players... in This Week in Sex, featuring tales of football teams, Bollywood nudity, Melissa Joan Hart, Playboy, brothers, and... Susan Boyle?!

A minister in Florida (where else) is being investigated for possibly sexually assaulting members of a high school football team. The man allegedly promised his victims help in their athletic careers-- not sure how his religion fits into sports. Maybe he promised to rig the coin tosses?

Apparently, there will be full frontal male nudity in a Bollywood movie. (We can't confirm that this is actually the first legitimate male nude scene from that genre, but it sounds about right.)

Melissa Joan Hart says she never did Playboy because her Maxim cover caused her brother too much embarrassment.

The State of Nevada decided not to tax brothel sex, but not before this classic quote was delivered:

"I don't know why people won't recognize that we have a legal industry," state Sen. Bob Coffin, who introduced the legislation, told the Associated Press. "I'm willing to go in and do the dirty work if no one else will."

Thanks, Senator, but your sexpertise won't be required. Moving on...

Those scary-lookers had some of the loudest sex we've ever heard (of.)

In Indiana, two little girls walked in on group sex in the bathroom of their local people Taco Bell.

Unlike our cheerleading coach friend, this woman deserved get fired: a teacher was given the boot for taking a bunch of girls to a strip club. The biggest problem is that some of the girls were under 18 and could've been arrested.

And the new porn marketing gimmick is officially is to offer whomever dominates the news a role in adult film in exchange for a million dollars:

See what [Publicity-Hungry Production Assholes] did there? Set up an entire website for something that will never happen (much like the Octomom porn) and then sit back and watch the traffic skyrocket for a headline that reads "Susan Boyle Does a Porn (Maybe)." Chances are, Boyle will never even see this site, and has never been contacted by these people. But just associating their adult films with a recent phenomena is the oldest trick in the book. Although who would ever pay to see Boyle lose her virginity on camera is another story alltogether.

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Cheerleading Coach In Hottest Nude Photo Scandal Ever

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Channel 13 in Sacramento claims to have been "up all night" (you'll believe it when you see the photos) working on the story of Carlie Christine, a cheerleading coach at Casa Robles High School, who was outed as a Playboy and internet porn pinup yesterday after she got on the bad side of a bunch of bitchy wannabe cheerleaders.

But unlike everyone else foaming at the mouth over this amusing tale of moonlighting gone wrong, we have the photographic evidence to prove it really happened...

Christine, it turns out, used her real name (or at least the same name she teaches under) in posing for Playboy, which made it a cinch that the entire football team would eventually stumble across the snaps, which it did. But it was when an undetermined number of girls were kicked off the cheerleading squad for skipping school their awful parents leaked the online photos to shocked school officials.

According to the local media, Christine has been fired from her coaching job, although we'd be surprised if she doesn't quickly make ten times the money modeling. We found something CBS missed: Carlie Christine's modeling website.

I am shorter in stature but photograph very proportionate and I stay thin and toned.
I currently have shoulder-length natural brown hair and intend on keeping it the same from now on.
I do have four small tattoos that I cover with makeup or have airbrushed out for photos unless they are wanted for the shoot.

More of her nude photos, including full frontal images, can be seen here.

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Shockingly, This Teacher Did Something Inappropriate to Students

While You Were Sleeping: The Accidental Porn Screening

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:57:00 GMT

Another day and another story indicating Al Franken is closer than ever to becoming Senator from Minnesota... five months after his election.

The pedestrian who died of a heart attack during the G20 protest in England is seen in a video just moments before his death being assaulted by police for the crime of not walking away fast enough.

Tommy Lee's porn-star-loving pilot had his license officially revoked after the Judge saw that blow job video...

Costa Rican police are investigating allegations made by the paparazzi that they were chased away from the Gisele Bundchen-Tom Brady wedding by gunfire.

David Allen Grier was voting off that dancing show about B-list stars getting their big break.

Fidel Castro asked how he can help Barack Obama's Presidency.

Meanwhile, Kal Penn has been hired by the Barack Obama Presidency.

A substitute teacher accidentally showed the regular teacher's porn tape during a geography class.

Moran Stirring Up Controversy By Suggesting We Need To Get Rid Of Obama

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Sarah Palin Porn Ain't Goin' Nowhere, No Ho Ho Ho

While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer's Penis

While You Were Sleeping: Is Lindsay Lohan's Career Over?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

The New York Times just figured out that the sexting craze means some teens will go to jail.

This Rob Schneider interview may be the best thing we've read all week. Yeah, we know-- Rob Schneider...

Apple is preparing to raise iTunes download prices to $1.29. We suspect this might have something to do with preparing people for the high price Beatles downloads will be.

An eye for an eye is about to be taken literally in-- you called it-- Iran.

Nice try, IBM-- you want to lay off American workers, outsource to India, and collect stimulus dollars? Hell no.

Four women who dressed as stewardesses and volunteered in the New York City subways to help people get around have been asked to stop by the MTA. As if the MTA is flush for cash and can themselves pay people to provide that service. Morons.

New York finally began the process of fixing the evil/horrible Rockefeller Drug Laws.

Our hero David Byrne has officially ruled out ever playing with the Talking Heads again. Asshole.

Bruce Springsteen saved the famous Glastonbury summer music festival. Angel.

Lindsay Lohan's only unreleased film (at present) is going straight to DVD.

And a schoolteacher showed up drunk to class, blackmailed her students into bumping and grinding with her, then later passed out by a swimming pool.

Teacher In Lesbian Sex Scandal Story Not Helping

14-Year-Old Girl Arrested for Sending a Text... and Not Even That Kind of Text...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:14:00 GMT

How the hell do you go from sitting in class, not paying attention to the teacher and typing a text message on your Cricket, to getting arrested?

According to various local news reports out of Pennsylvania, you do it by being a total brat. The unnamed fourteen-year-old girl in question was asked to stop texting in class and refused (hey, at least have the decency to lie and say you'll cut it out.) She continued to text right in front of the teacher, who finally had to call in the School Resource Officer.

The officer took the girl to the office of the Dean of Students, who asked the girl where the cell phone was. She shrugged and denied having a cell phone. (Commence eye rolling now.) The Dean eventually had to call the girl's parents... but the girl repeatedly gave him the wrong number. (Dude, don't you have records for these kinds of things? What if there'd been an emergency?) Finally, the police were called in to search the girl's person-- the phone was found down her pants, by her butt.

After all this, we guess they had no choice but to arrest her for disorderly conduct and suspended her for several days. If only they had a more serious charge-- what, they couldn't fake a cop punch and charge her for that? (Kidding.) Before you leap to her defense, know that she kept returning to the school to meet with friends over the next two days, even though she wasn't allowed to be there-- this time she was slapped with a trespassing charge.

Couldn't she have just sent a nude photo of herself like the rest of the girls so there'd be more to this story?

Read more here. Image via.

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12-Year-Old Girl Forced To Do Something Horrible At Teacher's Behest

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:28:00 GMT

And no, it's not have his baby...

A teacher named Steve Davis at-- here's a name for ya-- Seven Hills Middle School in Nevada City, California has brought his entire school district shame, not to mention a major lawsuit, after what he forced a twelve-year-old girl to do at his request.

Davis has not publicly explained why he forced the unnamed girl to take a pregnancy test that involved giving a urine sample. The school, for that matter, hasn't explained why any nurse in their right mind gave Davis the pregnancy test to give to his adolescent student. And, of course, no one is talking about the case at all, since it's bound to cost the district millions.

Here's the saddest part of all: based on what we've read in various news outlets in California, it seems that Davis heard "rumors" of the girl's pregnancy from a girl who has a history of spreading unsubstantiated rumors about the victim and still he did not dismiss them. Of course, this all begs the obvious question:

Why was Steve Davis forcing anyone, let alone a 12-year-old student, to take a pregnancy test for any reason?

Here's one of the many news stories about the case.

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While You Were Sleeping: Adopt George Clooney

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:23:00 GMT

Let's just start the rumors here: Katie Holmes is not pregnant.

Singapore was stunned to experience the sight of an entirely-nude couple walking through the city for fifteen minutes. In New York, this wouldn't even get reported on Fox, but in a conservative place like Singapore...

In Sweden, if you're a teacher and don't like what a bunch of young ladies are saying about you on their blog, you can file a complaint against them. Boo hoo.

The great filmmaker Tom DiCillo is doing a documentary on The Doors that appears to have some incredible lost footage of the band.

It's the classic case of teach the kids to shoplift, take them shoplifting, leave the kids at the scene of the shoplifting. We've seen it all before.

We understand that there was discrimination involved, but why would anyone want to work at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone bikini bar anyway?

George Clooney, who will appear on the final episode of ER, would like you to adopt him.

And our headline of the day: "Pub Line bus service could become mobile bar for Fairbanks patrons."

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Florida Teacher Says, "Oh, THAT Student I Molested In 1983... He Was 16, It Was Okay"

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:46:00 GMT

Sorry, Wanda Smith of Orlando, Florida, it turns out the kid was only 11... and the fact that you videotaped him while you two had sex isn't going to help your case, either...

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of the Orlando Sentinel story about Smith's arrest:

In 2005, Smith's stepson discovered a decades-old video depicting Wanda's sexual battery of a boy who may or may not have been underage. Smith and her ex-husband would not fully cooperate with the police, claiming it was an undetermined male they had once employed, and so the investigation stalled.

It would have remained unresolved if not for a chance encounter-- a woman dropping her son off at school realized Smith was still teaching there. Having been told of the sexual abuse by the now-grown man, who had been her ex-boyfriend, the unidentified mom ratted Smith out to the cops, who interviewed the alleged victim and learned that the boy had indeed been videotaped by Smith while the two had sex. He had been in sixth grade detention when the assaults began. According to the poor guy, Smith molested him for years afterward.

Smith denies these allegations, stating that the boy was at least sixteen at the time. However, that didn't stop the 57-year-old from retiring immediately after the school launched an investigation into her alleged lifestyle...

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Teacher Arrested For Possession of Drugs, Terrible Goatee

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

A highly-praised Wisconsin high school math teacher has been busted by the cops for giving out weed, shrooms, and coke to his former students at his own house parties. No wonder he received a 4.4 on Rate My Teachers...

Roger "Bring the" Payne, is a 47-year-old teach at Wauwatosa East High School in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin... but perhaps his contract will not be renewed following this unfortunate incident. Payne pulled the classic Boy George bonehead move-- he called the cops about a break-in at his home, where he happened to be in possession of marijuana. Double whoops-- they also slapped him with charges of obstruction of justice and drug trafficking.

Somebody ratted out The Roge... and they will pay. Probably a small fine, that is, since the burglar/rat took nothing with him:

The 21-year-old man accused of breaking into Payne's home tells police he partied with Payne often. He alleges the parties included marijuana, mushrooms and cocaine. The 21-year-old thought it was "wrong for a teacher to be partying with former students."

Dude... you're 21 years of age... it's wrong for you to be breaking into people's homes and then narcing on them to the fuzz. And if you think it's wrong for the teacher to have those parties, maybe you shouldn't have partaken in them and called the authorities a long time ago; you would look like so much less of a douchebag if you did.

By the way, we can speak so authoritatively on these matters because we had multiple teachers in high school who used to get us wasted-- and not on Miller High Life, okay? And although these adult males exhibited questionable judgment with regard to our health and safety, they weren't deserving of losing their jobs and going to jail for multiple years either.

Sorry for the rant. Photo and partial info via TMJ4-TV.

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12-Year-Old Boy Gets Arrested For Attacking Pregnant Teacher, Threatening To Kill Her

Louisiana Teacher Gets Closer to Student By Sleeping with His Father

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:47:00 GMT

If you want to get in the pants of a fifteen-year-old boy, one way to make sure that happens is to first sleep with his father, then stick around for an encore.

Anna Davis, who is a 32-year-old special ed teacher at Benton High in Shreveport, Louisiana, has been arrested for having sex with a juvenile. The cops found out about it following a phone call Davis made the boy's divorced Dad, who she was also sleeping with, letting him know that she was dumping him for his son. Dad, out of either disgust or anger at having been dumped (we're kidding), immediately dialed up Davis's school, which removed her and notified the police.

Her response? "I'm in love with him and I want to marry him."

The cops? "I don't know if she understood exactly what she was doing."

Yes, officer, she most certainly does-- it's called sexual intercourse and it makes people do very strange things...

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Shots were fired at the motorcades of the Presidents of Georgia and Poland, although no one was hit.

A drag queen hosted a Miss Texas pageant, to the obvious horror of parents.

A boy in Florida was arrested for something heinous. No, we mean the reason he was arrested was heinous. Oh, never mind, you'll see:

Maybe the 13-year-old student at Martin County's Spectrum Junior/Senior High thought he was being funny by repeatedly and purposely passing gas during computer class.
His teacher, D.C. Carden, didn't bust a gut over the boy's breaking wind - not to mention his continuous turning off classroom computers - so he gave the boy a referral and sent him packing to the school resource officer for a little talk. "He subsequently informed me it was factual, and I informed him as a result of his behavior he was being charged with Disruption of a School Function,"

The boy was arrested for farting. He was released to his mom. No word on what he did in the car on the way home. [Blogs.Tampabay.com]

A teacher denied an inappropriate relationship with a young girl... until the girl was found in his closet. Whoops.

Hate crime is on the rise in Utah, down everywhere else.

A town near Barcelona is using solar panels atop gravestones to power itself.

They finally caught the Butt Bandit we warned you about.

11 Things He Wants From You, according to a male writer at MSN.

Boris Becker was dumped by text message. The woman in question was his fiancee.

And Madonna wants Britney Spears to move into her place... as some sort of ploy to get her back into Kabbalah... or something.

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Hot Teacher Caught After Three-Year Affair With Female Student

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Debra LaFavre was 28 when she had sex with a fourteen-year-old male student. And so it comes as no surprise that Anna Louise Thompson, a twenty-eight-year-old now-ex-teacher in Brisbane, chose a girl of the same age to engage in a whirlwind three-year affair.

This story features a twist so unbelievable, we were sure the media made it up...

It all started when Thompson proposed the 14-year-old girl go to lunch with her. It soon escalated into sleepovers and racy text messages... while Thompson continued to be married to her husband. (Didn't he think something was strange when his wife kept staying over some kid's house?!)

“They started to experiment with sex toys, lollipops, and wore collars.”
The girl’s parents had no idea what was happening and actually trusted the teacher. Thompson was treated like a member of the family and invited to birthdays and Christmas. She used to stay over at the family home and the girl would often spend weekends at her teacher’s house.

Um. Um... collars? Wait, keep reading, this gets kind of shocking in a hurry:

But the couple were found out when the parents discovered them having sex one evening. Their reaction was simply to request that their daughter keep her door open when she had visitors. Thompson’s husband also walked in on the pair when he came home from work earlier than expected one day. [Bild.de]

So, everyone's thrilled with this arrangement and live happily ever after, right? Wrong. After falling in love with-- gasp!-- a guy at her school, the then-16-year-old student reported her teacher to the proper authorities and... well, you can guess what happened next.

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20-Year-Old Teacher Strips For Her Students... On Video

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:10:00 GMT

A teacher in western Hungary may actually get to keep her job, even after she performed a raunchy striptease during a game of (for God's sake!) Truth or Dare, which she engaged in with her 15-year-old students.

Better yet, she gets to keep her job even though video of the strip show ended up on YouTube...

The unnamed teacher, who is identified in news reports only as hailing from Germany, was supervising a school party when a student dared her to take off her clothes... Elizabeth Berkley-style...

Here's the full video. Bonus: they must have planned this thing far enough in advance-- somebody had Joe Cocker's cover of Randy Newman's "You Can Leave Your Hat On" cued up on the CD player when she started out...

She must have this school over a barrel (what, is she the only German-speaking German teacher in Hungary or something?), for the principal refused to dismiss her:

“I was forced to give the German teacher a warning, but I will not dismiss her because she is a valuable teacher for our institution,” said Sandor Rozman.
He said the teacher had shown no more flesh “than you would see on a beach."

We've never wished to return to high school, but if this woman's contract is renewed, we may just re-enroll...

Via News.com.au.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama on Meet the Press. He pointed out the Senator is and has always been a Christian... and so what if he was a Muslim?

A gym teacher posed as a lesbian model to try to get his student to send him a nude self-portrait.

Jon Stewart has only one thing to say to Sarah Palin... and he can't say it on TV...

That's right... he tells Sarah Palin: "Fuck you." The full transcript of this almost completely garbled video is here.

Guess how much a tennis lesson with Andy Roddick costs? A million bucks, right? That's what you'd think, but not only is it a mere 15 g's, Roddick is throwing in a nudity option as well.

You know how much we love pranks.

The shortlist for the Oscars' Best Foreign Language Film nominees was announced, although we don't think many of them will see release in the U.S. for a while.

A man was charged with taking a leak in a police car and spitting on a cop. The man was, of course, butt naked at the time.

And a bunch of cheerleaders were busted for hitting the bottle before The Big Game. Wait, some teenagers aren't drunk the night before a big game? That's not the America we know and love...

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12-Year-Old Boy Gets Arrested For Attacking Pregnant Teacher, Threatening To Kill Her

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:52:00 GMT

What's nuttier than a story about an adolescent getting arrested for throwing sticks and stones (literally) at his pregnant teacher?

How about what he said to her while he did it and the fact that the local media saw fit to print his mugshot as a warning to others...

According to the TV station that revealed the poor kid's identity:

The boy stands just four feet tall and weighs just 54 pounds, but apparently the little 12-year-old has a big temper. He was arrested for viciously attacking his pregnant school counselor and is now facing two felony charges, battery on a pregnant female and battery on a school official.
The 12-year-old started running away from his teachers and was about to jump the fence when the counselors tried to stop him and that's when he got mad."Next time, it's not going to be a pleasant visit! You go to school to learn!" a Palm Bay officer told Jason Lord as he got into a squad car.

We won't even take bets on whether this kid has a rough home life (there's no way they can just write this off to ADD or bipolar disorder or whatever they can come up with), since it's 99% likely he's been through more than the usual rigamarole there. You don't learn to say "Bitch, I'm going to kill you" while giving two teachers the middle finger from your classmates, you know...

We won't cause him further humiliation by posting his mugshot here... the kid's crying in it, for God's sake. Don't they have any respect?

Via WFTV.

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Girl, Molested By Teacher And Guidance Counselor, Is Kicked Out Of School

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 14:09:00 GMT

Here's a case you don't see every day: a guidance counselor is convicted of molesting a teenage student and, a year later, the girl's history teacher is charged with the same crime. The next thing you know, the girl, who was 15 at the time of these assaults, is being kicked out of school...

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, this high school student is no saint:

During a Sept. 18 bail hearing for Fanjul, prosecutors acknowledged the girl was "sexually posturing" with a third teacher. While arguing to reduce Fanjul's bail, defense attorney Kenneth Brown pointed to that allegation and the girl's subsequent departure from the school.
An administrator reportedly said, "I hope that she never comes back because she is a predator," Brown told 3rd District Judge Ann Boyden.

Luckily for all involved, the third teacher reported the come-on to the proper authorities, who immediately removed the troubled child. The question the judge has to weigh now, of course, is to what degree does the girl's seduction techniques weigh in on the charges, if any? Of course, the law doesn't give a rat's turd about how the incident occurred (unless, of course, the girl raped the teachers or something similar), it's going to punish these fools for a long time. (The guidance counselor was sentence to three terms of up to 15 years each.)

Here's something else to keep in mind in our People's Court out here: Jose Fanjul, who protests his innocence, is also accused of sending a text to another student asking if he can be her boyfriend. This guy doesn't sound like he was helpless to the teenage girl's charms... again, not that it matters. What do you think?

Via the Salt Lake Tribune.

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New Zealand Teacher In Hot Water For Her Other Job As A Hooker

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 14:04:00 GMT

A teacher in Auckland, New Zealand is in danger of losing her job after it was reported that she was streetwalking after class. (Only way this story could be better: if the stool pigeon was a john and the father of one of her charges.)

But there's, as always if we're bothering to report the story, a twist, if you haven't figured out what it is already...

The woman, who was not identified in news reports, is completely within her legal rights to work as a prostitute, since hooking is legal in NZ. Of course, that never stopped a crusading school board:

The newspaper, which did not name the teacher or her school, said a parent told the teacher's principal, who was balancing a possible negative reaction from parents with the woman's right to work in a job which [is legal.]

The teacher, as you may have imagined, told the school board it's none of their damn business what she does with her time. Better yet: she's a primary school teacher. Would the kids even care? And best of all: she's in her 30s and the (single?) mother of two children. Great, School Board People, your possible decision to fire her wouldn't affect her or her family at all...

Via 3 News.

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Boy Catches Teacher Jerking Off... On The Teacher's Porch

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:04:00 GMT

The above photo has nothing to do with the story. However, the teacher may have used lotion.

Here's a kid who will certainly be scarred for the rest of his sexual life: he's 16 and walking past his former teacher's house at eleven o'clock at night, when he sees teach sitting there, totally naked, rubbing one out for all the world to see...

According to KMPH in Fresno, the teacher in question is a 57-year-old special ad instructor named Mark Greene. Greene told police that he had been boozing it up and then remembered, "Oops, time to take my prescription medication that specifically says I'm not supposed to drink alcohol with." Then he stepped out onto his porch to "relieve some stress." Great idea, although think maybe you could have stayed inside with your laptop, closed curtains, and fantasies about being whipped by 90-year-olds in diapers?*

"The original call came from a father who stated that his 16-year-old son was in the neighborhood and discovered Mr. Greene sitting on a bench in the front yard of a home. He was fully exposed, fully naked and he was actually masturbating at the time," Jeff Cardinale, Fresno Police Department, said.

When police arrived at the 1500 block of North Poplar, they found Greene just as the child described him.

"He was in fact fully naked and fully erect when officers discovered him about a block and a half from where the original call came out," Cardinale said.

Best of all is this quote from a student who attends the school that, the following day, Greene was sent home from pending an investigation. We're not sure whether it's a typo or the fact that the student is just a little kid and maybe we're being overly harsh or that the kid's poor sentence structure says more about the local school system than Greene's arrest ever could:

"It makes me feel awkward because he's a man teacher and there's other, so we don't even know if they might do that," Kassandra Solis, student, said.

Nope. It's just bad typing... read the rest of the story here.

*Actual fantasy unknown

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Debate Coaches Show Kids How To Do It By Completely Losing Their Sh*t

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:34:00 GMT

In a March, a debate tournament in Wichita, Kansas was overrun by immature, obscene, loud, petty, and obnoxious people-- the coaches.

William Shanahan of Fort Hays University and Shanara Reid-Brinkley from University of Pittsburgh got into an extremely heated screaming fight over-- surprise, surprise-- race. But what's most ironic about all this is that Reid-Brinkley seemed to have set Shanahan off on his long and insane rampage by criticizing, of all things, the Fort Hays coach's body language.

This video had been online recently but had disappeared. We just found it in another YouTube posting, uncut and still ugly...

The Associated Press tried to get in touch with these fools for comment, but what's left to be said besides "why didn't someone tell these assholes to get the hell out?" We can't think of a better way to have resolved this than to get two people to carry them out, one taking the arms, the other the legs, and give the students the peace and quiet they needed to finish their competition in civilized peace.

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