Scanner : teen pregnancy

Bristol Palin Has a Job and You Don't

Emily Farris — Tue, 05 May 2009 21:16:00 GMT

How is it that we have a ton of smart, talented, over-educated friends who can't find jobs while unwed teenage mother Bristol Palin just scored a great one?

B-Pal has just been appointed as one of the Candies Foundation's Teen Ambassadors, working on the Foundation's national campaign to prevent teen pregnancy.

“I feel that I could be a living example of the consequences of teen pregnancy. If I can prevent even one girl from getting pregnant, I will feel a sense of accomplishment.”

Well, that's something.

No word on if she'll be taking home a fat paycheck, or if she'll be taking home a paycheck at all, but if so we recommend she invest in some condoms and birth control pills. (And she could send some our way if she'd like. Our monthly pack of Yasmin was one of our recession sacrifices and now our face is totes broken out).

Related:

Leave Bristol Palin Alone?

Sarah Palin Elevated to GILF Status, or Bristol Palin Pops One Out

Sloppy Seconds: Bristol Palin's New Gig

[Source]

Why in the Christ Do You Have a Kid?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:44:00 GMT

A new website called "Why the Fuck Do You Have A Kid?"-- is a sort of baffled liberal person's response to Bristol Palin, Jamie Lynn Spears, and the rest of these raised-by-Christian-conservatives teenage moms. Of course, it features disturbing photos that say all we'll ever need to know about their lives.

Some of it, of course, is silly and much of it is patently offensive. A few of the photos, however, need to be laughed at to cover the horror we feel deep down for the babies pictured therein:

This girl doesn't look old enough to conceive a child let alone raise one. The rest fare no better.

While the site is arguably awful, even borderline-worthless, perhaps it will be part of a growing movement of people who aren't afraid to say, "Hey, look, it's great that your teenager wants to bring life into the world, but they can wait five or ten years, since they aren't even allowed to drink when the baby won't stop crying."

A better way to put it might be that the growing acceptance of teen pregnancy by conservative culture (when it isn't an African American teenager whose family is on welfare, of course) has us worried that teenagers will find that there is no longer any taboo about getting pregnant, just about having sex.

Via WTFDYHAK.

Related:

The Rare Knocked Up Midge Doll

Even Christians Admit That Abstinence Pledges Don't Work

Sex Ed is Rotten in the State of Texas

Sloppy Seconds: Women Know When Men Are Turned On

Our Neighbors to the North Get a Blue Ribbon for Sex Education While we FAIL

Alfie's DNA Test Results are In

Colleen Kane — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:16:00 GMT

You remember this poor little bastard, Alfie Patten, the four-foot tall 13-year-old new dad. First came the news of the 13- and 15- year- old parents, then came allegations that the baby momma Chantelle had slept around with numerous other schoolboys. Alfie agreed to take a DNA test, once his mum explained to him what a DNA test was. We'd just been wondering ourselves what the results of the paternity test had been when this update hit the tabloids...

Alfie is not Maisie's dad.

Apparently Chantelle told her half-sister the father could have been any of a number of boys she'd slept with, but her mom ordered her to say she'd been a virgin when she slept with wee Alfie.

Alfie's dad Dennis helped start the press blitz when he gave an interview shortly after the baby was born, saying, “He hasn’t a clue what a baby means and can’t explain how he feels. When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, he didn’t know what he was doing or the complications that could come. I’ll talk to him again and it’ll be the birds and bees talk.”

We need to find some less depressing stories today.

Related:

UK Babies Have Baby

The UK Babies Having Babies Plot Thickens

Our Neighbors to the North Get a Blue Ribbon for Sex Education While we FAIL

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:49:00 GMT

Sure Canada might have a few questionable practices when it comes to young people and sex—the legal age for consent in the country is 16 while the legal age for consensual anal sex is 18—but the US could surely learn a few things about sex education from our neighbors to the north.

Here in the States, teen pregnancy rates are up for the second year in a row. According to recent statistics, American women have 2.09 children while Canadian women have about 1.6. Thirty percent of that difference is apparently due to teen births in the U.S., and a whopping 90 percent of those thirty percent are unwanted.

What is Canada doing so right that we're doing so wrong?

"...The main reason is that Canadian teens of all social classes get comprehensive information about contraception and about how to avoid unwanted pregnancies. They get more sex ed in school, and can access high-school-based family planning counselling though the nurse. They can also always access universally free medical services, including visiting family doctor and special health clinics. And at all levels, there's a more positive attitude towards the pill, and either cheap or free prescriptions for it.

As a result, young Canadian women use more effective pharmaceutical methods (i.e. birth control pills) rather than less effective ones (condoms, or the so-called withdrawal method)...

After a decade and $1.5 billion U.S. federal dollars spent on abstinence-only programs, a Congress-authorized, rigorous scientific study reported no real difference in the age at which program participants first had sex, whether they had sex before marriage, or in their number of sexual partners."

[The Tyee: Canada on Top in Sex Ed]

Related:

Abstinence-Only Education Doesn't Work

ABC Calls Drunken Teenage Anal Sex "Love Making," Interviews Jezzies and Ultimately Tries to be Helpful

Sloppy Seconds: Bristol Palin's New Gig

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 23:33:00 GMT

Hey, Scanner Brian: Hayden Panettiere is single again. [Us]

Think your man might be a closeted homo? Take this super-reliable, scientific quiz to find out for sure! [MyDailyMoment]

A book written early in J.R.R. Tolken's career is about to be published for the first time. [Yahoo!]

Suze Orman had only one wish on Valentine's Day: that gay marriage be legalized. [AfterEllen]

Bristol Palin would now like to be an advocate, um, like, against teen pregnancy. "I wish [getting pregnant] would happen in like 10 years so I could have a job and an education and be, like, prepared and have my own house and stuff. ... I hope that people learn from my story and just, I dunno, prevent teen pregnancy I guess." [Slate]

Is Bristol Palin now Bristol Palin-Johnston?

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

We Will Totally Crap Our Pants if Bristol Palin Pops Out a Mixed Race Baby

This Week in Gayness: How to Tell Your Boyfriend Is Closeted

[Image]

UK Babies Have Baby

Colleen Kane — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:09:00 GMT

It's all over the news today that two British kids, 13-year-old Alfie Pattman and 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman, have made a kid of their own, Maisie Roxanne.

Wee Alfie is only four feet tall, his voice hasn't even changed yet, and he doesn't know what the word "financially" means. It gets more depressing-- won't you join us after the jump?

Chantelle hid her pregnancy from her mom until she noticed the protruding tummy, reports the Sun. Mum Penny couldn't have been too surprised, though, as she allowed the two to sleep together in Chantelle's bedroom. Alfie even kept a school uniform at his lady friend's place, so he could go right to school from there. Penny and husband Steve are on the dole, by the way, aka welfare.

This situation calls for a pressing of this button.

Let There Be Babybook

Anti-Teen Pregnancy Ad Proves PETA Doesn't Want Animals To Breed?

Today in WTF: Gay Teens Much More Likely To Get Pregnant

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 15:07:00 GMT

A study conducted in Canada, a country you haven't heard of because we haven't invaded it yet, claims that the gay teens are having all the sex that's getting Sarah Palin's daughters pregnant. Does this mean Bristol Palin is a lesbo?

Seriously, though, ten percent of teen girls who claim to be bisexual were pregnant (seven percent of lesbians reported the same), while less than two percent of the three thousand teenage respondents copped to being straight and pregnant.

Researchers guess that the girls "want to create a new family and identify for themselves" and guys may sleep with the gals to show everyone their supposed manliness and to stop the rumor mill.

Today In Captions We Wish We Could Have Written

Is "Tech Sex" Somewhere Between Cyber Sex and Technical Sex?

Harry Potter, Most Kids Today: Unabashed Pre-verts*

ABC Calls Drunken Teenage Anal Sex "Love Making..."

While You Were Sleeping: Oh, Jeebus... Guess Who's Pregnant Again?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 14:34:00 GMT

Remember the woman who was allegedly stuck to a toilet for a couple years? Her boyfriend, although charged with a host of crimes in the case, still has time to go out and win the lottery... twice.

We've been waiting for more, um, developments in this case, but nevermind: a Playboy pinup testified in Federal court in the semi-well-known "suitcase full of $800,000" trial.

We absolutely love Nick Nolte. He is a badass without even trying. Check out what he did yesterday:

Nick suffered from "minor smoke inhalation," after attempting to fight a fire with a garden hose at his Malibu home Tuesday, an inspector at the L.A. County Fire Department confirms...

The actor, 67, took action after an electrical malfunction started the blaze in his home office, inspector Ron Haralson told Us. The fire department responded at 11:34 a.m., as TMZ.com first reported.

He didn't run out of the house screaming for help-- he fought that fire until his already-tar-and-smoke-filled lungs couldn't take it anymore. Nice work.

If this is real, then McCain is doomed: one supporter(?) claims to have received a prepaid FedEx return envelope from the McCain campaign asking for a donation. This is either the most desperate fundraising pitch ever or the most ingenious... possibly both.

Speaking of McCain, did you enjoy Tom Brokaw last night? Check him out here, talking about previous electoral campaigns. Pretty interesting.

Cameron Diaz reveals why her relationships don't work out:

"I'm a spoiled brat."

And... well isn't this wonderful? Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again.

Related:

Justin Timberlake: Bringing Matrimony Back?

Cameron Diaz Would Like To Date You... If You Meet Her Demands

While You Were Sleeping: The Tim Gunn Lawsuit

Cultural Clusterf*ck: Gossip Girl Meets 30 Rock

Anti-Teen Pregnancy Ad Proves PETA Doesn't Want Animals To Breed?

Gov. Declares Emergency: Man Stuck To A Port-A-Potty

Woman Takes Two Year Dump, Doesn't Get Dumped

What'll Happen To Sarah Palin?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:02:00 GMT

This is nothing against Sarah Palin-- after all, all GOP candidates are a little bit frightening, a little bit awesome in their determination and genuine will to make the world a better place-- but is she doomed?

No one here in Minneapolis is even talking about the convention. Every conversation at every restaurant in town is centered around one question: what's going to happen to Governor Palin, what with all these rumors and controversies that are swirling around her...

First, there was this e-mail, which we received from reader profrobert on Friday, alerting us to the possibility that Palin's fifth daughter, born less than five months ago, is not hers.

But what would be even more incredible is if it's NOT true: http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634

This means her water broke in Texas. She hung around to give a 30-minute speech. She then went to the airport and GOT ON A PLANE. TO ALASKA. I don't know where she was in Texas, but DFW-ANC non-stop is a seven-hour flight.

He makes a great point: who is this person who has her water break and then waits around not only to give a speech but for a plane to take her across most of the entire fucking continent. Her husband claims that a) they just wanted the baby to be 100% Alaskan and b) that his daughter's five month or so absence from school was the result of a bad case of mono. Suuuuuuure it was...

So, of course, the liberal blogosphere goes batshit over the story but no mainstream media outlet wants anything to do with it. Gustav sweeps Palin off the front pages, then the RNC delay further buries the rumors. Meanwhile, Palin is at a rally where she doesn't address the rumors but causes another stir by saying:

“Then we have our daughter Bristol, she’s on the bus with the newborn, and then we have our daughter Willow, who is here, and our youngest daughter Piper,” Ms. Palin said as she introduced her family. “On that bus we have our son, Trig, who is a beautiful baby boy we welcomed into the world just in April..."

Of course, Palin's phrasing would've been completely normal under any other circumstances. But conspiracy theorists flipped again, saying Palin wasn't even saying the words "her" and "baby" one after the other, implying that perhaps Palin is setting herself up to eventually confess to lying. Meanwhile, photos showing that Palin had no baby bump during her pregnancy were all deleted from the Governor's official websites. (We are trying our best to stay out of this, but must add that we defy anyone to locate photos of Palin in the nine months leading up to April 2008 in which she appears pregnant. As soon as an un-Photoshopped photo comes our way, we'll believe her version of the events.)

Then, the bigger story: Palin announces the same daughter is currently five month's pregnant, thus ruling out the possibility of Bristol having already given birth just a few months ago. And while we believe this, again, it doesn't rule out the possibility that Palin is lying: after all, no one is going to ask her to prove conception date. For all we know, she's really only a few months pregnant and that, by the time the baby's born, it will be too late for anyone to stop Palin from becoming Vice President because of the lie. (Side note: Bristol's boyfriend is a self-proclaimed "redneck" who says on his MySpace profile that he doesn't want kids. Wonderful.)

Meanwhile, the Troopergate story (as winking bloggers are referring to it), the mere mention of which earned us a drubbing from her supporters in a previous post, has knocked the pregnancy story off the front pages, albeit for a fairly innocus reason: Palin just now hired a lawyer to defend her in the two-month old investigation. Hmmm....

In any case, the liberal HuffPo has realized Palin is a weak spot on the ticket (we've heard that from numerous fence sitters among the Minneapolis public.) Here's what their front page looked like in the wee hours of this morning:

... TOP GOP GOVERNOR: I'VE HEARD NO DISCUSSION ABOUT REMOVING MS. PALIN FROM THE TICKET ...

'Fringe' Alaskan Secessionist Party: Palin Was A Member... Almost Recalled As Mayor... Directed Fundraising For Indicted Senator's 527... Troopergate Scandal... Calls Iraq A War For Oil... Admits She Hasn't 'Really Focused On Iraq'... Alaska National Guard General: Palin Plays No Role In National Defense... 17 Year-Old Daughter Pregnant...

Also, did you guys hear the Fox News commentator and others pick up the talking point that Palin has "national security experience" because Alaska is "so close to" Russia? What? That's like saying Scanner Nicole and I have foreign policy experience because we're located near Denmark.

All this adds up to one thing: Palin, as a VP candidate, is in trouble. The rumors we're hearing from reliable GOP sources center on two possibilities: 1) Palin may drop out, citing family commitments, and time this withdrawal so that McCain's second choice will be accepted without question by GOP leadership, for fear of losing the election if they don't immediately unite or 2) Palin will continue to cause McCain problems to the point where he will drop Palin himself, but in favor of a female candidate or even Joe Lieberman.

While both seem highly unlikely events, either of them is much less far-fetched now than they were even 24 hours ago...

We'll have more on this story during the next two days of convention coverage...

EXCLUSIVE: McCain-Palin Internal Talking Points Memo Leaked To Scanner

Scanner Roundtable: What Did We Think About The DNC & Obama's Speech?

RNC Day One: Total Anarchy

Anti-Teen Pregnancy Ad Proves PETA Doesn't Want Animals To Breed?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:39:00 GMT

PETA, the People For Ethical Treatment of Animals and Extreme Treatment of Abusers, is taking its latest controversial ad national.

The ad, which is entitled "Sex Talk," according to Fox, features two parents who encourage their teenage daughter to start pumping out babies on a continuous basis. And why, pray tell, would you want to run this in Kentwood, La., hometown of Jamie Lynn Spears?

[It starts with] a mother and father sitting down with their teenage daughter in her bedroom and telling her they have to talk about sex. She looks disgusted and embarrassed, until she hears what they say next.

"We think you should be having it, Sweetie," begins her dad.

"A lot of it," adds her mom.

"Get up there and nail everything you can," her father says.

"If it's got a pulse, you should be wrapped around it," the mother finishes.

The shocked girl asks them what will happen if she gets pregnant. They both shrug it off.

"So what?" You should pop out all the kids you want," the father says, waving away her concerns. "We'll just leave them in the shelter, dump them in the street."

Of course, the ad is really about spaying and neutering your pets. But check this darling quote, which is the whole point of wasting your time on this story:

"People often point their fingers at parents of pregnant teens, and we want to let the people who let their animals breed feel the heat too," People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals spokeswoman Melissa Karpel told FOXNews.com. "It's a fun, edgy way to get the message out about a very serious issue."

You don't think she meant PETA will rain terror down on people who let their animals have offspring, do you?

Anyway, here's the full video. The story is here, via FoxNews.

Voice of Reason: Jason Bateman Says 'Juno' is Not to Blame for Teenage Pregnancy

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:29:00 GMT

Juno is not to blame for the 17 teen pregnancies at a high school in Gloucester, Massachusetts, says Jason Bateman:

“I don’t know the specifics, but I can speak about what sort of responsibility entertainment should hold for social behavior,” Bateman, who starred as one half of adoptive couple the Lorings in “Juno,” told Access Hollywood. “Unfortunately, we’ve had these instances where guys kill people because of what they hear in rock ‘n roll lyrics or some garbage like that. Look, if you’re going to blame a movie or song for your actions, whether they be good or bad, I think you’re looking at the wrong things to influence your life.”

Amen, Brother Bateman.

How about: if you're so easily influenced by movies like Juno, your parents might be to blame? And maybe the Bush Administration for its abstinence-only education?

We, too, are kind-of tired about hearing of the Juno Effect. We would imagine psychopaths are just as impressionable as teenagers, and we never heard about a Silence of the Lambs Effect. But maybe we were too young to remember that?

Anyway, like Bateman says, let the movies remain sources of entertainment. And like we say (as of now), if you child is so easily influenced by the movies, maybe you should save for energy for trying to figure out why, instead of blaming the movies.

[Access Hollywood: Jason Bateman Defends ‘Juno’ In Wake Of Massachusetts Teen Pregnancies]

Hey George Bush, See What Your Abstinence-Only Education Has Done to America's Youth?

File Under The Worst Idea Ever: Teen Pregnancy Pacts

Sloppy Seconds: Pregnancy Pact Girl Speaks Out, "There Was No Pact"

File Under The Worst Idea Ever: Teen Pregnancy Pacts

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:43:00 GMT

Oh, how we wish this was the plot to a bad after-school special.

After officials at a Massachusetts high school noticed a spike in student pregnancies (17 in one year), they learned that many of the girls had made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together.

But it gets worse.

One of the fathers was a 24-year-old homeless man.

You think it can't get any sadder than that? It can.

The question of what to do next has divided this fiercely Catholic enclave. Even with national data showing a 3% rise in teen pregnancies in 2006—the first increase in 15 years—Gloucester isn't sure it wants to provide easier access to birth control. In any case, many residents worry that the problem goes much deeper. The past decade has been difficult for this mostly white, mostly blue-collar city (pop. 30,000). In Gloucester, perched on scenic Cape Ann, the economy has always depended on a strong fishing industry. But in recent years, such jobs have all but disappeared overseas, and with them much of the community's wherewithal. "Families are broken," says school superintendent Christopher Farmer. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."

The girls who made the pregnancy pact—some of whom, according to Sullivan, reacted to the news that they were expecting with high fives and plans for baby showers—declined to be interviewed. So did their parents. But Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."

The high school has done perhaps too good a job of embracing young mothers. Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. "We're proud to help the mothers stay in school," says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.

[Time: Pregnancy Boon at Glouchester High]

Related:

President Expected to Declare Victory Over Teen Pregnancy Any Day Now

"Teenage Pregnancy Implementation Manager" Position Probably Not What We First Thought

Abstinence-Only Education Doesn't Work

Hey George Bush, See What Your Abstinence-Only Education Has Done to America's Youth?

Oh Crap, We're Halfway Through National Masturbation Month and We Forgot to Masturbate

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:54:00 GMT

To be fair, having a broken wrist will do that to a girl.

But the cast is finally off and we plan to take full advantage of the sixteen days left in National Masturbation Month. Which, as Fleshbot points out, is also National Orgasm Month, Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month and, uh, National Salad Month and National Barbeque Month. And Bike Month, and Good Car Keeping Month, but back to the masturbation stuff...

Happy ~~fucking~~ Masturbation Month! We'll do our best to bring you some items to get you in the mood for next couple of weeks. Did Lily Allen's boobs do it for anyone?

Sloppy Seconds: Desperate Housewives

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 21:23:00 GMT

Some readers were bothered by our dig at Absolut Vodka over its pre-20th century mindset. Just a reminder: we're always right.

The Second Amendment Debate, Made Irrelevant: A man has been arrested for standing in the middle of the street and threatening motorists with death by bow and arrow. Cool!

Finally, the truth: Since Thursday's raid on Warren Jeff's polygamist sect in Texas, which housed hundreds of brainwashed females and the brain-damaged males overseeing them, commentators have speculated as to what served as the final piece of evidence that enabled the Feds to move in. At an earlier news conference, the prosecutor in the case testified that investigators had been waiting for someone to come forward.

Well, that someone turned out to be a 16 year old girl, pregnant for the second time in a year, according to CNN. The anonymous tipster, who had contacted Family Services in Texas, was married to a man was more than three times her age, beat her, and had six other wives..

Now, her parents were talking about sending her younger sister, 15, to the ranch as well.

In her calls, the girl said she had looked for ways to escape. But she was told that outside the compound's gates lies an evil world in which she would be forced to cut her hair, wear makeup and have sex with many men. She thought about faking an illness, but under that plan she couldn't bring her baby along, the affidavit stated.
She said her husband would "beat and hurt" her when he got angry, hitting her in the chest and choking her while other wives held her baby. Once, he broke her ribs, she said.

Pardon the unfortunate transition, but... speaking of "Desperate Housewives": the show's creator confirms Nicolette Sheridan, the woman also unfortunately known as Michael Bolton's squeeze, is leaving at the end of the season.

Government workers charged millions of dollars for wild orgies (i.e. "fancy dinners"-- but we're not fooled), lingerie, iPods, and internet dating subscriptions (it better have been Nerve!) to company-issued credit cards. So what? They're probably all in the CIA and that stuff is part of the job anyway.

And lastly, the greatest living woman in America is single again. We almost feel bad for celebrating.

Previously: Sloppy Seconds: Father-Daughter Love Child

McLovin' Isn't All That Into Getting Freaky With You

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:00:00 GMT

As if the New York Times wasn't taking enough flak for its terrible reporting of the McCain sex ring, now their readers are LOL'ing at the gossip rag's reporting of a new study that seems to indicate all those Judd Aptow-Seth Rogan movies are not quite accurate depictions of teenage sex lives:

A new report in The Journal of Adolescence this month suggests that when it comes to sex, girls and dating, boys are more complex than we typically give them credit for. While hormonal urges are no doubt an important part of a teenage boy’s life, they aren’t necessarily the defining trait influencing a boy’s relationships with girls.

Salon has its own story on the story of the study, complete with snarky, Gawkeresque excerpts from the Times's comment section:

When the Times first blogged about the study, readers rushed in with snickering skepticism. Take this comment: "Based on my past experience as a teenage boy, this study just reinforces my view that teenage boys are horny liars." Or this: "Yeah right! 16-year-old boys are concerned about relationships?" Even this: "I can just about pinpoint the exact moment in my prepubescent life when the 'lies I told the ladies' turned into the 'truths' I told myself ... These punks have got one thing on their minds, and it ain't relationships." Holy protective posturing, Batman!

We remember that, yes, high school was about getting a girlfriend first and getting some poontang second (we're pretty sure we didn't think of it as poontang, either.) However, there isn't a guy, straight or gay, that passed through high school without at least having tried to put the moves on somebody, whether it's at the prom or under the bleachers with James Franco.

"Teenage Pregnancy Implementation Manager" Position Probably Not What We First Thought

Bryan Christian — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Any Mancunians out there looking for a fun and challenging fulltime gig impregnating teens? Well, if we're reading this job description correctly, we've got just the thing.

We are now looking for an experienced and enthusiastic individual to support the management of the local teenage pregnancy programme. The successful candidate will be a strategic thinker with strong project management skills and a proven track record of partnership working.

We've never heard it called that before but you get the idea. Applications are being accepted until March 10, so good luck!

Today in Master Debating: "Sex and the Teenage Girl"

Bryan Christian — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:00:00 GMT

All right, class, as you may know, we occasionally like to slice a hunk of raw, intellectual meat off of the electrical side of beef that is the Internet, toss it your way, and watch you scrap over it while we drink a beer. Today's juicy morsel comes to us via the New York Times and author Caitlin Flanagan, and is a reaction to the hit indie adoption comedy Juno.

The movie “Juno” is a fairy tale about a pregnant teenager who decides to have her baby, place it for adoption and then get on with her life. For the most part, the tone of the movie is comedic and jolly, but there is a moment when Juno tells her father about her condition, and he shakes his head in disappointment and says, “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.”
Female viewers flinch when he says it, because his words lay bare the bitterly unfair truth of sexuality: female desire can bring with it a form of punishment no man can begin to imagine, and so it is one appetite women and girls must always regard with caution. Because Juno let her guard down and had a single sexual experience with a sweet, well-intentioned boy, she alone is left with this ordeal of sorrow and public shame.

OK, you know what, we're gonna skip past some of this, since basically it reminds us that despite the comedy in Juno, teenage pregnancy is a serious, potentially terrible thing, which (despite our being a product of it), we totally agree with. What we really wanted to talk about was this:

Pregnancy robs a teenager of her girlhood. This stark fact is one reason girls used to be so carefully guarded and protected — in a system that at once limited their horizons and safeguarded them from devastating consequences. The feminist historian Joan Jacobs Brumberg has written that “however prudish and ‘uptight’ the Victorians were, our ancestors had a deep commitment to girls.”
We, too, have a deep commitment to girls, and ours centers not on protecting their chastity, but on supporting their ability to compete with boys, to be free — perhaps for the first time in history — from the restraints that kept women from achieving on the same level. Now we have to ask ourselves this question: Does the full enfranchisement of girls depend on their being sexually liberated? And if it does, can we somehow change or diminish among the very young the trauma of pregnancy, the occasional result of even safe sex?

Now, we don't for a second think that either the Times or Flanagan is recommending a return to Victorian times. (Although that might explain this.) But it's still a provocative question. So, what do you guys think? Is it just a pipe dream to assume that young girls can ever truly be sexually liberated, considering that they will almost certainly bear the brunt of any unintended consequences? Or, to perhaps put it another way, will we ever be able to say with 100% confidence that those unintended consequences have been eradicated?

Have at it in the comments, and remember to play nice!

(And yes, for those of you playing at home, this post ties together three separate threads that have cropped up on the blog in recent days. Gold star for you!)

The Light at the End of the Fallopian Tube: Nickelodeon + Jamie Lynn Spears After School Special?

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:28:00 GMT

In light of recent events we need not mention yet again, Nickelodeon, the channel that hosts Jamie Lynn's show Zoey 101, is considering a special on teen sex:

"I think it's important that something be done, but I think it's important that it be done in a measured way, and not just to feed the beast of news stories," the potential host, newswoman Linda Ellerbee, said Thursday. "This is a great opportunity for parents at this moment to talk to their kids about this – more important, to listen to their kids about this."

She added: "Right now what Nick is trying to do – and what I am trying to do – is figure out what is the best thing to do for kids."

Yes, Nickelodeon! This seems like a good idea considering there are plenty of parents out there probably doing as good a job as Lynne Spears raising their kids.

Image via juniorcelebs.com

President Expected to Declare Victory Over Teen Pregnancy Any Day Now

Bryan Christian — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:57:00 GMT

First rise in U.S. teen births since '91

By MIKE STOBBE, AP Medical Writer Wed Dec 5, 6:42 PM ET

ATLANTA - In a troubling reversal, the nation's teen birth rate rose for the first time in 15 years, surprising government health officials and reviving the bitter debate about abstinence-only sex education.

The birth rate had been dropping since its peak in 1991, although the decline had slowed in recent years. On Wednesday, government statisticians said it rose 3 percent from 2005 to 2006.

[Link via firedoglake.com; (Photoshopped) Image via Worth1000.com]