Scanner : teenage boys

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Desperate Living

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:24:00 GMT

Holly Madison rebounded from Hugh Hefner with... Russell Brand?

We have to agree: this or any other ad for the pill is going to piss off the stuffy-butthole-people.

A quick thinking teenage boy saved his 4-year-old sister from being kidnapped when he actually raced after and caught up to the truck she was being driven off in.

Another teenage boy, who needs to spend more time thinking, is going to jail for setting another guy's dick and balls on fire.

This is gonna be grand: Martin Scorsese is making a movie about Sinatra.

Elton John was there for Eminem in his hour of need, helping him through the painful process of rehab.

Emily mentioned this yesterday: Shanna Moakler resigned from the pageant board following yesterday's press conference on Carrie Prejean. Did you know that she was also Miss USA and a Playboy centerfold? Hmmm...

The marriage bra is... uh... useless? A major turnoff? Creepy? Stupid? All of the above and more?

Lindsay Lohan's house is in such shit shape, complete with garbage everywhere, that the police thought it had been ransacked when they responded to a tripped alarm.

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18-Year-Old Boy Arrested in Most Bizarre Sex Tape Bust Yet

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:38:00 GMT

A teenage boy, already a defiant smartass to the media that's hounding him outside his home and high school, has been charged with sexual exploitation in a case that's sure to garner national attention.

But it was an individual who wasn't even a participant in the act that has caused the biggest scandal the state of Tennessee has seen in years...

Deandra Woodall is accused of videotaping teenagers, including himself, engaged in a threesome, without the female victim's permission. The female, by the way, is 15-years-old. Woodall allegedly took the camera phone he recorded the menage a trois with to school and began showing it around class, boasting about his work as if it was his own performance on screen. Of course, word immediately traveled to the assistant principal, who tore him a new a-hole... before confiscating the phone.

Here's where it gets all scandalous in a hurry: the assistant principal himself committed a far worse crime than any so far in our story. First, he downloaded the copy to his work computer and deleted the original file. Next, he began showing other random people the hot sex going on in the grainy video, probably yukking it up at the poor kids' expense. And finally, and here's what makes this so incredible, he never notified the police, higher ups, or the parents of any of the children involved. He was only discovered after rumors continued to swirl.

Now Terence Bobo faces charges of tampering with evidence and sexual exploitation of a minor, while the boy is charged with the latter. His reaction to reporters flinging desperate questions about his fate: "I like your hair, just take that down on your notepad."

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This Teenage Sex Tape Craze Is Getting Out of Hand...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:28:00 GMT

And you thought it had gone too far when those two kids were arrested for making a sex tape of a consenting couple...

According to the Associated Press in Florida:

The Monroe County Sheriff's office has charged 10 teens from the Florida Keys with making child pornography after detectives confiscated a videotape of a 16-year-old runaway girl having sex with a 19-year-old man.
Authorities said the investigation started when a 14-year-old runaway told a school resource officer that she was worried her friend -- the girl having sex on the tape -- had been raped. The girl who appeared in the video denied being raped.
The teens, seven boys and three girls age 13 to 19, face charges of sexual performance by a child, a second-degree felony. Eight of the 10 were arrested Wednesday; the other two are out of town and will be arrested when they return.

Okay, one to operate the camera... another to hold the boom... my, this is a serious production now. So, we gotta ask, what were the other half-dozen participants doing during all this? Your suspicions, in the comments...

Via AP/ABC News.

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You're "Doing It" Wrong: Health Website's Wrongheaded Sex Advice

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:15:00 GMT

The Stanford University School of Medicine released a report today with shocking revelations about lies, fabrications, and downright stupidity on the internet.

Why is this different from everything else that's wrong with the internet? Because Stanford is blaming WebMD and other trusted medical websites for the backlash against Plan B, not to mention multiple other "mistakes" in the advice these sites cough up about sex...

Here are the most disturbing examples we picked up, quoted directly from a source at HealthNewsDigest, which covered the report:

sites often failed to say that minors can buy emergency contraception from authorized pharmacists in nine states
many sites did not correct the myth that emergency contraception causes an abortion
Sixty percent of the Web sites said the birth control pill causes weight gain, despite recent research showing modern oral contraceptives do not affect body weight
Only 19 percent of the Web sites made it clear that intrauterine devices are safe for adolescents to use.
only about half of the Web sites surveyed correctly stated that some STDs, such as herpes, can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact or kissing
Forty percent of Web sites surveyed did not provide accurate information about when young women should receive their first Pap exam. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology updated its Pap exam recommendations in 2003 to state that women should receive their first exam three years after initiating sexual activity or at age 21; that is about three years later than the previous recommendations [“Extra Pap exams are an unnecessary stress and expense, and a barrier to getting birth control,” Yen said, since young women may forgo contacting a doctor for a contraceptive prescription if they mistakenly believe they must first get the exam.]

Researchers indicted that sites like Go Ask Alice, a product of Columbia University, are much more reliable. For example, here's their advice on giving a decent handjob, something we'll bet WebMD doesn't have the balls to pull. So, kids, if for some reason you're reading this after doing a Google search for "sex advice," go there first... and definitely don't read my posts. Sarcasm can be lost on those not "in the know..."

Via this link.

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Jersey Girl's Torrid Love Affair With An Eighth Grader

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:08:00 GMT

23-year-old Jersey Girl Lindsay Massaro was a student teacher at a K-8 school in Frankford, about 60 miles west of New York City. He was a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old eighth grade guy who may or may not have been special ed. (According to unidentified sources, Massaro is working toward receiving her certificate in special education.)

They were totally non-sexual... until, out of nowhere, they fell into a torrid affair...

Massaro was arrested only a few days ago following a surprisingly-recent crime. (Usually with these cases, it's month later, after the boy's parents become suspicious or the student can't keep it quiet any longer and brags to his friends.) The timeline given to the media indicates March 21st is the day they first slept together, with the relationship dissolving exactly one week later, which would be this past Saturday. Massaro is charged with "second-degree sexual assault, third-degree endangering the welfare of a minor and fourth-degree criminal sexual contact" steaming from "acts of sexual penetration and sexual contact with the intimate parts of a minor male," according to this source. If she's convicted, which she may not be given the fact that there seems to be very little evidence, she faces an expected ten years in prison.

In any case, Massaro's teaching career is over. She's been fired from her job, is out on $75,000 bail, and has no hope of convincing another school to hire her unless this all turns out to be a horrible prank to which the culprits confess.

What do you think about these cases where the teacher is barred from having anything to do with children, thus barring them from working? Murderers out on bail are not barred from owning knives, for example. Just wondering...

Photo via this link.

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Is Our Children Learning About Internet Porn?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:21:00 GMT

The Sun, like the rest of us here in the world of serious journalism, has been unable to find anything interesting to talk about from this weekend's wire reports. So, instead, it decided to make up a crisis: "Internet Porn is Ruining Our Childrens' Futures, By God!"

Normally, we see this kind of idiotic rant on a daily basis and pass it by without even consciously registering that we've seen it. However, we're quite glad to have seen The Sun's disastrously funny take on the state of British teenagers... and we haven't even made it halfway yet...

A GENERATION of teens are growing up thinking they should behave like PORN STARS.

You gotta love the Sun for these opening lines. The combination of bold text and random ALL CAPS gives their leads the feel of a CRAZY-ASS New York City SUBWAY BUM POET'S handmade rant signs. ("WoRDSworth isn't worth SHIT. read ThiS!")

It leads to them having unsafe sex, boob jobs and Hollywood waxes. Girls as young as 14 and 15 are even stripping on webcams and sending pictures to boyfriends — who think writhing in front of a lens is the norm.

Oh, now they're called Hollywood waxes? Do you think-- I mean, really-- that girls are getting their pubic hair waxed because Jenna Haze gets it done? Right here, you know this Sun writer is just making this all up 10 minutes before her deadline.

Nearly nine out of ten youngsters aged 14 to 17 have seen porn and nearly one in five are viewing it more than once a week.

Look, Sun writer, I have a confession to make. When I was 14, I saw porn more than once a week. Every single guy I knew saw porn at least as much as I did-- it's called "stealing Playboy's from your uncle when he's drunk." And not one of the guys I knew ever got laid until they were at least 18. At least.

Sixty three per cent of teens surveyed say they do not discuss sex openly at home, while 77 per cent of those who watch porn say their parents are unaware they do it.

This may be the part that blows our minds the most. 77% of teens have been able to keep their porn addiction a secret? Meaning nearly a quarter of British parents are letting their kids get away with it? Wow... those are some cool parents.

You can read the rest of this nonsense here.

14-Year-Old Girl Arrested For Possession of Child Pornography

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:54:00 GMT

A fourteen-year-old New Jersey girl faces up to 17 years in prison and lifetime membership into the Sex Offenders registry after police found her to be in possession of child pornography, including some graphic, full-frontal nude photos.

Of course, there's much more to the story than just that...

A message like the one seen above now takes up most of the unidentified girl's MySpace Pictures folder. It is believed, based on early reports, that the teen posted more than two dozen nude photos of herself to her profile, mainly for her boyfriend to see. How anyone could still think they're going to get away with this with all the buzz about people being arrested for sexting is beyond us. Why anyone would post the photos on a public profile with the intent of one person seeing them is way beyond our capacity of understanding. Which is why the only explanation is that this girl is too young to know any better, and therefore, she should not be going through this:

The teen, whose name has not been released because of her age, was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography and distribution of child pornography. She was released to her mother's custody.
If convicted of the distribution charge, she would be forced to register with the state as a sex offender under Megan's Law, said state Attorney General Anne Milgram. She also could face up to 17 years in jail, though such a stiff sentence is unlikely.

You'll note that Milgram is not saying, "Wait a minute, the pictures are of herself? And she's only 16? Um, yeah, we'll be knocking this down a misdemeanor, no question." Idiot.

Meanwhile, the mother whose daughter is the basis for Megan's Law said the girl should absolutely not be prosecuted. This is really a no-brainer, New Jersey. Taking the photos down and giving her a severe reprimand would have been enough...

More via the Associated Press/Google.

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Teen Orgies All the Rage in Oklahoma

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 19:29:00 GMT

When Scanner Emily and I were eating at Denny's in Oklahoma on Sunday, we had no idea we were smack dab in the middle of the orgy craze that's sweeping teenage America.

But after reading this report from the state's health officials, there's no denying it: we missed out on all the hot sex we could ever require... and more syphilis than we would've bargained for...

The Oklahoma State Department of Health is freaked out because a whopping ten teens have contracted syphilis over the past month, while only 15 were diagnosed in all of 2008. Their verdict? Orgies are to blame. (Our verdict? More people are getting laid!)

[O]fficials are alarmed because syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease most often seen in older age groups and can have significant health outcomes if undiagnosed and untreated, KOCO-TV reported.

Officials are also concerned that the outbreak may spread to counties beyond central Oklahoma. [EVERYBODY PANIC!] They reported that 10 teenagers have been diagnosed with syphilis in central Oklahoma during the past four weeks, compared to 15 teens with the disease all of last year. Health officials believe the growing popularity of teens attending parties where unprotected group sexual activity is encouraged may be fostering the opportunities for teens to become infected, they said in a news release.

"The good news is that syphilis can be identified by examination and testing, cured with antibiotics and, through disease investigation, the spread of syphilis can be stopped," said state epidemiologist Dr. Kristy Bradley in the news release.The department said syphilis is a curable bacterial infection that is primarily spread through sexual contact. A person can contract and spread syphilis through oral, anal and vaginal sex, or through other intimate contact including kissing when a syphilis sore is present in the mouth. [WBAL]

Remember, kids, don't drink, do drugs, hold hands, kiss, or have oral, anal, and vaginal sex. Look, there's a lizard!

Golly, there's so much to do here in Oklahoma...

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The Kinky Sex Murder At ABC News Radio

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:39:00 GMT

Last summer, we seriously considered an offer for a job at ABC News in New York. While on tour of the building and my "future office," I met a guy named George Weber, who was cracking jokes and insulting colleagues who were within earshot when I came across him. My first thought was, "This is one of those characters. Every office has one."

The next time we saw him was yesterday morning, when he was the top story in New York City. Weber was murdered by "a date" he picked up via Craig's List and the details couldn't have been more shocking...

According to stories in the New York Daily News over the last 36 hours, Weber's alleged killer is an unidentified 16-year-old boy who Weber found via a Casual Encounters ad. Weber wanted someone to smother him and the boy offered to do it for $60. It's not known whether this was premeditated murder or the boy just didn't know to stop using the pillow when his victim fought back. Either way, the police say the killer suffered enough retaliatory injuries to bleed all over Weber's apartment on his way out.

What stands out the most for us is that a knife was involved-- reports indicate Weber's body hand multiple stab wounds, which at least confirms murder, whether the boy planned it in advance or tried to finish him Weber off after realizing he'd done serious damage.

Seriously, let this serve as a reminder to all of us to use extreme caution when inviting strangers home...

Latest updates here, via the NY Daily News.

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English High School The World's Most Sexually Dangerous

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:51:00 GMT

Headlands School in Bridlington, Yorkshire has the highest rate of teacher-student sexual encounters in, we're guessing, the first world.

On Friday, British police charged a staff member, which sounds wrong, with having sex with a teenage girl, bringing the grand total of arrests to...

FIVE.

Five teachers or staff members at Headlands High have been charged in less than three years. Here's a breakdown of how the endless scandals have all played out:

Three years ago, an art instructor by the name of Ian Blott (man, these stories can't be real, can they?) received a blot on his record and four years in prison for forcing himself on a teenage girl. The girl claimed that she was traumatized from the encounter and left with bulimia and other medical problems.

In 2007, Steven Edwards, until then a science teacher, was convicted of having sex with three students (their genders not identified here) and is now serving a five-year sentence. The abuse/relationships occurred over the course of four years, but only came to light after Blott's trial.

Even after two such cases in as many years, school officials did nothing to or were unable to stop the tidal wave: two more teachers were arrested last year. Terry Mann, a teacher, had sex with a student from another school and somehow managed to escape with a suspended sentence, possibly because he plead guilty and admitted everything immediately. One of his colleagues, a teacher's assistant, also received a slap on the wrist for carrying on a long-term relationship with a boy at school.

Again, the school did nothing to successfully control its staff.

The fifth case came to light last week, when Chris Reen, who works as a substitute or fill-in at the school (what, the janitors are getting in on this, too?), was arrested for seven sexual encounters with a girl throughout the end of 2008. Parents were understandably outraged, since the school is apparently on probation for failing to properly protect and educate its charges. This is about as solid a case for homeschooling as any...

By the way, according to this story, Reen is "a newlywed." Wow, way to bring shame to your family, dude.

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Dick Arrested For Pulling Dick Move

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:44:00 GMT

Here's a pop quiz question for you: if your name is Jonathan Dick... and you're a physical education teacher at middle and high schools... what have you been arrested for?

43-year-old Jonathan S. Dick, a resident of the great and now decidedly ashamed state of Maryland, has been arrested for attempting to corrupt a fifteen-year-old boy, who was not one of his students. Dick met the unidentified boy on the WWW, then spent several weeks trying to seduce him via "sexting." According to the boy's parents, Dick didn't put his dick anywhere it doesn't belong, at least not when it comes to their son.

Nonetheless, Jonathan's Dick faces 10 or 20 years in prison, depending on which Baltimore-area news source you believe. Either way, they agree that he's being charged with soliciting sex with a minor.

In an unrelated story, Dick Cheney called a press conference yesterday to remind people he is still available for lampooning.

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13-Year-Old Boy Watched That Paris Hilton Video Too Many Times

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:51:00 GMT

These kids today... first, they stage circle-jerk sessions and give out hand jobs in class. Next, at least in Connecticut, they give blow jobs in class.

But one Cincinnati, Ohio teenager decided that these were not enough to satisfy his adolescent cravings. Now, he's made national news for "pandering obscenity," a ridiculous and unconstitutional law that another Ohio resident, one Larry Flynt, has been messing with for decades...

Here's the full news report (no other information is known as of this writing):

A 13-year-old boy is charged today after police say he made a sex tape and showed it off at school.

Middletown police say the boy videotaped himself with another middle school girl. The tape was apparently made at the girl's house. The boy showed the video to his classmates at Vail Middle School.

The seventh grader is charged with pandering obscenity.

Dude is in seventh grade, Ohio, cut him some slack! And, as usual, there's no mention of the girl in the case-- did she wish to have herself filmed? Did she encourage or even promote the distribution of said sex tape? Or is she a victim of hidden camera work? (Obviously, he's at least a dumbass for showing it to his friends-- especially at Middle School, during class, knowing full well by the age of thirteen that the rumor mill is a vicious beast with no secrets.)

We'll have more on this if we ever hear about it again. Chances are, we won't.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 16:02:00 GMT

Pauline Hanson has railed against an "Asian invasion" in Australia, been to jail for electoral fraud, appeared on Dancing With the Stars, and made a strong political comeback, all over the course of a relatively brief career.

Now, Hanson's bid "as an independent at the upcoming 2009 Queensland state election" may be in jeopardy after a series of nude and raunchy photos have surfaced...

When Hanson was 19, she posed for another teenager who she fell for thanks to his awesome Harley Davidson motorcycle. At least, that's what her now ex-boyfriend told the Australian papers that originally published these photos. At some point, he convinced her to pose for his camera:

Unfortunately, these censored pics are the only ones released by the media.

Two things: one, this girl looks older than 19 and two, how can we be sure this is her? Hanson denies it, flat out, although that's the obvious talking point for a right-wing politician. The publisher of the original photos claims that his paper did "a very, very extensive checking process which... involves stripping out colours, looking at the pixel count in images. These images are not doctored. They are not fakes, it's not her head stuck on somebody else's body."

While the model may be entirely human, how do we know the model is Pauline Hanson?

Australia's major political parties could care less-- they were in unanimous agreement that the photos will not affect this weekend's election...

Read more about this story here.

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Here's A Kind of Teacher Sex Story We've Never Seen Before...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:45:00 GMT

It's not even ten a.m. on the first day of this workweek, and there are already two bizarre teacher sex scandals to report. The first featured a kid, having engaged in a sexual relationship with his teacher since October, caught by the principal... (literally) with his pants down.

Now comes the story of yet another lecherous teacher and her teenage male victim. However, this case features a twist that we could never have predicted, even after reading of dozens of these cases over the years.

When 46-year-old junior high school teacher Linda Nef walked into a police station near Bountiful, Utah, cops had no idea a major media firestorm was about to descend on them. When Nef confessed to having sex with a thirteen-year-old male student, she fingered Valynn Bowers, 39, as a fellow rapist... of the same boy.

Bowers, in case you haven't figured this out, is a teacher at the same school.

According to local media reports, ~~Hef~~ Nef started sleeping with the boy first, but was dumped for an unknown other party, with whom the boy has been carrying on a sexual relationship for the past three months. One day, Bowers entered Nef's classroom and confronted her in what may have been a jealous rage, telling the older teacher, "I'm the new girlfriend." Or she could have simply said, "Hey, we really screwed the pooch on this one." However, we doubt that last part, as Nef is the one that freaked out and went to the police after the revelations.

The local news, predictably, has a unintentionally hilarious time trying to figure out how to work with these details:

With the suspects being so much older than their victim some wonder what would prompt them to commit the crime.
University of Utah psychology professor Don Strassberg says that would be an easier question to answer if the teachers were men. With men, he says, it's probably about the sex.
But it's more complicated when you're talking about women. For them, Strassberg says getting into a relationship like this is likely more about them: their needs, having control, getting attention.

Thank you, Professor Obvious. (Read more of his brilliant insight at ksl.com.)

We've been warning the public for months that the daily onslaught of these cases is going to eventually reach a breaking point and outdo itself-- in other words, we predicted that these kinds of "teacher sleeps with student stories" were going to involve in something even weirder, like janitor sex or parents getting used to it, but we never say a menage a trois coming....

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Thrilla in vanilla: Michael Jackson's press conference announcing some London shows he'll soon cancel was not exactly a thriller. See the video Scanner Emily shared yesterday.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta has decided to turn down a job in the Obama Administration.

Hero of the day: the nurse who bought a disabled boy a fake vagina so he could get himself off.

Yeah, fuck the paps. Michelle Rodriquez rules.

A foot fetish story has NPR in hot water with the usual dumbass listeners who all apparently have broken radio dials.

Did you hear that a car crashed through The Mac Store in Eugene, Oregon on Tuesday? Scary footage here, story at this link.

One of those female Chinese medal winners turns to be a man.

Seinfeld cast members will take over Curb Your Enthusiasm in the upcoming season.

Madonna was named PETA's most hated.

Amy Winehouse's husband is rumored to be involved with a sixteen-year-old girl. We said "rumored" so don't sue is if they're just friends...

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14-Year-Old Divorcee Officially Back on the Market

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 22:18:00 GMT

Here's a bizarre one for you: a straight couple that actually got married in the Year of Our Lord, 2009.

Stranger still, the events surrounding this marriage led both ~~proud, excited, relieved~~ families to press their children to seek an immediate divorce. The pressure proved unbearable for the bride and groom and so, at 14, the female member of this conjoined union becomes Israel's youngest-ever divorcee...

Here are the facts, as reported by the BBC, Ha'aretz, and other overseas news sources:

1) Unnamed 14-year-old girl marries unnamed 17-year-old boy in a secret wedding, surrounding by their friends, who become the first-ever group of teenage friends to actually keep their mouths shut.

2) The girl and boy have sex and do other things that later prove to the court that their marriage complied with Jewish law. (We were a bit surprised to learn that marriage might not count even after that whole "I now pronounce you man and wife, you may stomp on the wine glass now" part. (Kidding.)

3) The bride informs her parents of her new official status and claims to want to move in with her husband. Duh. The parents flip the lech out, and order her to obtain a religious divorce.

4) The girl does the noble thing that proves her love is the genuine article by refusing to go along with the divorce proceedings. "Wait, did you say the groom's family is going to bribe me with ten thousand in cold, hard currency to go through with the annulment? Well, bring it on then!"

5) Although the above "quote" is a fabrication, the unnamed bride did indeed obtain a divorce. Unfortunately, there was no public response from the groom, who was last seen plotting his elopement; unfortunately for the authorities, he will be hard to spot because he is described as "wearing black pants, black shoes, a black jacket, a white shirt, a black hat, and a beard."

According to a BBC report, however, they will not be allowed to marry anyone named Cohen, as if she cares:

One consequence of this is that - if she follows Jewish religious law - she will not be able to marry anyone with the name of Cohen, who are traditionally the Jewish priestly caste.

Assuming the dude's name isn't Cohen, do you think any of this is going to stop these two lovebirds?

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Today in Teacher Sex: One Does It On The Floor, The Other Runs Off to Mexico with Her Boy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:24:00 GMT

After a nationwide manhunt, a Massachusetts teacher is in custody today in West Virginia. Authorities, parents, and students alike were "freaking out" over first-year eighth grade teacher Lisa Lavoie of Holyoke, Mass., when she eloped with a fifteen-year-old boy from her class. The pair used the school break as a head start, but the police had already been suspicious beforehand, leading to a quick capture.

Woman and child were believed to be trying to make a run for the Mexican border, but they were apprehended at a hotel room not even a third of the way down the map.

Meanwhile, in Idaho, another female teacher has been arrested and faces life in prison for something so unspeakable, it'll make you say, "What... the rest of her life... for that?"

Anna M. Bettencourt, 39, got it on with a 16-year-old boy on the floor of an "agriculture shop" (boy, they sure do things differently in Idaho), then once more in his truck. She allegedly sent him a series of tantalizing text messages to seduce him over a long period of time.

"She said she was going through bad times in her life and she enjoyed the attention and made the mistake of engaging in very inappropriate text-messaging with him," according to court records.

The charges-- two counts of felony sexual battery on a minor-- could mean Bettencourt spends the rest of her life (teaching) in prison if she's convicted.

More on Anna's story via this link. Lisa's via this link and this one.

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Monk Sex Scandal Proves Forced Celibacy Won't Work

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 14:46:00 GMT

A reader alerted us to a sex scandal we missed out on: a Thai monk who resigned from his monastery after getting caught having sex, after a wild teen sex and booze extravaganza at his place.

Even weirder: it's a gay Thai monk sex scandal... and you won't want to miss these comments in the Bangkok Post...

Our story starts with an unnamed abbot, the head father/monk in Nakhon Si Thammarat, whatever that is. One night, when his male lover is indisposed for an undisclosed reason, Father Anonymous hosts a large gang of unruly teens for booze and innuendos involving trying to "one-up the Catholic Church." The teens leave, but the next day, there is a large cum stain on the abbot's bed sheets. (We don't even want to get into how weird it is that someone would leave a cum stain lying around-- but then again, maybe they don't have Kleenex in Thailand.)

Assuming the worst-- that this stain wasn't the result of a masturbatory session run amok-- the abbot's lover took him to task, started a fight, got smacked around, and reported daddy-o to the police.

The abbot fled and quit the monkhood to avoid arrest and forced disrobement.

Yes, but he may have enjoyed a "forced disrobement."

By the way, some of the many comments on this story are priceless. Many of these people don't know what "a Buddhist monk" means or what the hell they are talking about.

Do realy anybody in Thailand follow buddist rules. Is it not like that,- if somebody close to you, or yourselves have benefit of it,- you may do what ever you want without breaking the rules?
Big deal. There are sexual affairs going on in monasteries.
[Columnist] Khun Sanitsuda is right. Thai Buddhism needs a major overhaul. However, moaning and groaning about it is not very useful. She should offer constructive idess as to how this can be achieved.
Stop making donations to the monks,they run to buy mobile phones, wigs and run for sex at night.
The human sex drive is as natural as eating food or breathing air. Sexual desire is the reason the world is over populated. The only way to make a man live a lifetime without sexual desire is to surgically his eyes and sex organs at birth
It is really unnatural to let men and women abstain from sex in the name of religion. If you see in Islam the Prophet Mohammad married 12 ladies in his life. Islam never allows religion to overpower basic human instints. This is the reason a Muslim man if can do justice can marry four ladies at a time.

It gets nuttier and more profound, sometimes simultaneously, from there. Read the rest via this link.

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Brian Fairbanks — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 00:01:00 GMT

Life in prison for consensual sex with a 16-year-old boy? That's a big WTF.

North Dakota fired another salvo in the war against the morning after pill and other "abortions": they passed a law stating that life begins at conception.

Speaking of conception, it's the reason a big celebrity couple recently broke up...

Hayden Panettiere's relationship with Milo Ventimiglia apparently wasn't strong enough to survive the always-fun pregnancy scare. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, "The test proved negative but apparently caused friction that sparked the breakup." [The Superficial]

Here's a new way to keep paranoid tabs on your significant other: the Driving Activity Reporter, which tracks, maps, and saves your car's movement history.

Have you heard about the crazy cafeteria occupation at NYU? Two girls decided to take to the streets without their clothes on and Fleshbot has the pictures.

Rihanna has wisely decided to refrain from public comment about Chris Brown. Smart gal.

Two stories left over from earlier this week: the New York Times says women know when men are turned on because the smell of the man's sweat will change.

And, in men, "the part of the brain associated with empathy for other peoples' emotions and wishes shut down after looking at [sexy bikini] pictures."

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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested For Sex With 13-Year-Old Girl... Guess Who Doesn't Get Arrested?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:15:00 GMT

Arkansas, you have really been on our shit list this week.

First, we find out that you've banned atheists from running for public office, a policy that doesn't pass muster under the watch of the U.S. constitution. But you've never cared about equality, freedom of religion, and justice, have you?

Next, we learn that you arrested a fifteen-year-old boy for filming a "consensual sex act" with a thirteen-year-old female and slapped him (and the cameraboy) with Class-C felonies. What, pray tell, Arkansas, did you do with the thirteen-year-old girl?

Local news stations have given us the answer: the state of Arkansas is doing nothing with the thirteen-year-old girl. Of course, we don't mean to infer that anyone should be arrested in this case-- they are consenting teenagers, leave them alone-- but since both are underage, why not arrest both for corrupting a minor? Is thirteen too young to arrest in Arkansas for a sex crime? If that's true, why is fifteen old enough to send to juvie for the same act?

(The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, and the criminal code states that if the suspect is under 20, they may only be charged with a misdemeanor, if we're reading this right. Of course, they're charged with "employing or consenting to the use of a child in a sexual performance," which gets around the sex law thing a bit.)

In any case, the whole thing stinks. Why can't Arkansas get the big government they hate so much out of our private lives?

Read more here.

Photo via.

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Woman Leads Cops Right to Her Liaison with Previous Victim

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:49:00 GMT

Sheila Langman may not be the most intelligent person.

She was arrested in October for having sex with a fifteen-year-old boy, pled not guilty, and is awaiting trial. That isn't why she's an idiot. We find her guilty of that charge because she couldn't resist a little V-Day affair with the same kid, even though she knew the police were monitoring her every move...

According to the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Sheila Langman, 38, was under GPS monitoring, according to the Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office. At about 7:40 p.m. Friday, investigators say their alarm went off because she was near the boy's home.

Deputies tracked her and pulled her over on Misty Meadow Lane - about a mile from her own house on Parker Lake Circle - where they say the boy was in her car.

After her initial arrest in October, a judge ordered Langman, a former cheerleading coach, not to have any unsupervised contact with minors. And a perimeter around the boy's home was an "exclusionary zone" she wasn't allowed to enter.

Langman was originally arrested after a complaint was made to the Department of Children and Families, not necessarily by a family member. Police and prosecutors allege the cheerleading coach and her young man engaged in sex on multiple occasions last summer.

Oh, and in case you think this is a very, very sexy story for some bizarre reason (well, after all, the kid got in the car with her again last week), you might want to avoid seeing this mugshot.

Via NWFDailyNews.

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Colorado Kids Want to Write About Sex and No One Can Stop Them

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:36:00 GMT

Because of a much-discussed state law, administrative advisers for Colorado's school newspapers are only allowed to offer suggestions and guide staffers along, while the kids make the final decisions.

This may be why the state's Arapahoe High School was able to publish an edition of their paper devoted to teen relationships, i.e. promiscuous sex...

According a local NBC news affiliate, the most recent issue of the Arapahoe Herald was devoted to the subject:

"Player spills inside details," features the sexual escapades of a male student.

"I constantly [get sex] even though I have a girlfriend," said the boy who assumed the fictitious name of Trey Costanda. He is also quoted saying, "The easiest way to get girls is to get them drunk, but that's not right."

"First of all, why would you print that in the school newspaper?" 18-year-old senior Jeff Malaterre asked. "Parents could get upset at the school for publishing something like that."

The other controversial profile in the article featured the story of an openly promiscuous girl, who assumed the fictitious name of Marie Cullen.

"You have to give boys what they want," she said in the article, "My main weapons are my [breasts]."

Cullen also talks about having eight sexual partners and details her first sexual experience.

Cullen... Cullen? From where could this young lady have lifted her moniker? Hmmm...

Seriously, could it be that the abstinence theme of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight books has, like all abstinence "programs" and general grandstanding, backfired and turned teens into irresponsible sexual, well, vampires?

Via 9News.

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Teen Boy and His Friends Busted for Sending Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:53:00 GMT

Picture this scenario: Your friend sends you a pornographic birthday card as a joke. When you look closely at the photo, you realize the nude model on the card is borderline jailbait, but you decide to simply toss the card and be done with it. The next thing you know, you're under arrest for possession of child pornography.

Think that's unfair? Then wait till you hear what happened to a group of underage boys who sent each other a photo of an underage girl...

According to the local news in Falmouth (is that pronounced "foul mouth?"), Massachusetts, a boy between twelve and fourteen years photographed his thirteen-year-old girlfriend in the nude. That's crime #1-- the police consider it child pornography, even thought, um, they're both children. (We've discussed this legal condundrum many times on Scanner, so let's move on.) Then, and here's the part we never understand, the boy sends the photo to all his friends, apparently never having heard of "junior high school," which mandates everyone shares everything with everyone. Of course, soon enough, tons of people had the photo and six boys are under arrest for possession of child porn. Some friend this kid was-- and we hope his girlfriend dumps his sorry ass for being a lame showoff and possibly ruining her life.

By the way, how sad is it that we're charging children with posession of child pornography? They're not perverts if they're the same age as the girls they're ogling...

Via WHDH.

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Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

If you were to read only that headline, you would be forgiven for mistaking this tale for one of those "heartwarming" Good Morning America segments about the teens that turn their jewelery hobbies into multimillion-dollar online businesses.

Unfortunately, that's decidedly not the case with this creepy story...

According to a local AP report out of the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area, an eighteen-year-old boy named Anthony Stanci is in cuffs today, charged with "five counts of child enticement, two counts of second-degree sexual assault of a child, two counts of third-degree sexual assault, possession of child pornography, repeated sexual assault of the same child, and making a bomb threat."

And what did he do, except for that last charge, to warrant such a rap? He started a Facebook account and pretended to be a hot teenage girl, then got more than 30 (that is, 30 known) male victims to send him nude photos of themselves. When they did so, he stayed in character and threatened to take the pics to the proper adults-- and/or forward them widely over the internet-- if they did not comply with "her" demands to see the boys have sex with another boy-- Anthony Stanci, as it turns out.

Several of the boys actually went through with it. This went on for several months, until Stanci took things too far-- he concluded this sick sexual game wasn't enough to get back at his high school, so he called in a bomb threat that shut down classes. That's when the cops decided to snoop into sicko boy's background.

The maximum penalty if convicted on all charges is nearly 300 years in prison. [AP]

Stanci is facing a very rough life in prison, regardless of the length of his sentence-- an eighteen-year-old homosexual convicted of raping boys is about the worst imaginable setup for an inmate...

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"Hey, Wanna Meet Me For Some Hotel Sex?"

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:53:00 GMT

Picture this: you're a fourteen-year-old boy, and for some reason your parents think it's appropriate for you to own a cellular telephone. More importantly, you have given the number out to an assortment of people, including your friends, strange girls from around the area, your teacher, and, one would hope, your family.

One night, you start to get racy text messages from someone claiming to be a hot girl your age. Somehow, the texter manages to convince you that you are in a hotel and waiting for you to come by for some hot sexy time. You get to the hotel on the double, open the door, and...

Now, at what point do you realize the "teenage girl" you've gone to meet is, in actuality, your 49-year-old 8th grade English instructor? Before or... after you have sex with her?

Gaaahhh!

Rosanna Brown, 49, a teacher at Pastor Elementary School in south Phoenix is charged with having sex with a 14-year-old boy.

The teacher is now in jail. Investigators say she sent text messages to the boy from her cell phone posing as a teenage girl to lure him to a hotel, where they had sex. [AZ Family]

"Oh, wait, you're not a hot 14-year-old girl from class who has a completely different phone number than the one you've been texting me from. But hey, you want to bone me, so... what the hell!"

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Trailer Trash Tramp Takes Two Teens To... Paradise?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Picture this: you live in a trailer in Houma, Lousiana. No, that's too horrible to imagine for most-- how about this instead:

Imagine a woman is living in a trailer in Louisiana. One night, she invites two thirteen-year-old boys and four boys of legal age to her place for a game of cards. After losing what we must assume was a very randy round of strip poke, she asks all six dudes to accompany her to the bedroom, where they took turns having sex with her while the others gawked, giggled, and most likely turned toward each other with "Dude, holy shit, dude!" looks on their faces.

Now, if you're the judge sentencing this woman-- remember, you're in the South-- how much jail time do you slap this woman with?

If you're Judge Timothy Ellender, the answer is NONE. Ellender is one of those rare judges who, instead of trying to win reelection by showing the media how unfairly tough on crime he can be, actually heeded the advice of the victim's family, who asked that Maureen Lirette receive zero jail time. They told the judge that the boys were not upset and, because Lirette has a young daughter, it would be best for everyone if Lirette received probation.

Thanks to state law allowing victims to weigh in on a criminal's punishment, the Judge was able to hear the family's recommendations. He listened, and now Lirette will serve five years of supervised probation and be placed in a registry of sex offenders. Among Judge Ellender's greatest hits, according to WWLTV:

“So this was a gang bang? Are you pleased with yourself? Can’t you get yourself a man?”
“There’s a double standard. Some people think you did a 13-year-old boy a favor. I certainly don’t.”

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But you need to be embarrassed.”

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First Gay Mayor in the U.S. Already Embroiled in Major Sex Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:32:00 GMT

When Portland, Oregon Mayor Sam Adams was running for office back in 2007 (he was sworn in last year), he was dogged by rumors of a love affair with-- you called it-- an intern...

Adams dismissed the rumors by saying that he did not have sex with Beau Breedlove (we thought it had to be bullshit when we heard that name) who was rumored to be 17 at the time of his employment at the Oregon State Legislature back in '05. Now, in a shocking turn of events, Adams has been forced to admit to having had sex with the boy, but denies that the teen was underage at the time. Here's the full text of his remarks, from a press release out of the Mayor's office:

I want to publicly acknowledge a mistake I have made and I want to apologize for it.

In the past, I have characterized my relationship with Beau Breedlove as purely non-sexual. That is not true. Beau Breedlove and I had a sexual relationship for a few months in the summer of 2005 after he turned 18 years of age.

I should have been honest at the time about the true nature of my relationship with Beau Breedlove when questions about my relationship with him first surfaced publicly in October 2007. In fact, Beau encouraged me to be honest about the facts of our relationship. I am deeply sorry that I asked him to lie for me.

I lied at the time because I was afraid that people would believe untrue rumors, being circulated by an undeclared mayoral opponent, that I had broken a law involving sexual relations with a minor. But this is not a good excuse.

It's not clear yet whether Adams, the first openly gay man to head a major U.S. city, decided to reveal the supposed "truth" about his sex life because of an investigation or some other concern. We'll have more on this as it comes in...

Via USA Today.

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:50:00 GMT

If you had to name the Hick Capitol of the United States, where would you pinpoint its location? Alabama? Texas? Tennessee?

Wrong. After reading this story on Greenfield, California, you'll agree that this town probably leads in local yokels...

According to the AP/Yahoo:

Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Police... learned of the deal after the 36-year-old man went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made... [he was arrested] on suspicion of human trafficking.

Officers also arrested an 18-year-old man on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with the man, but she's under California's legal age of consent and can't legally marry.

Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a problem in this small Central Coast farming community.

Only a several cases of meat? It better have been some steaks from Peter Luger or this is a ripoff.

Seriously, though... Jesus! It would be one thing if this were the first time-- but it's "become a problem" in the community that underage girls are being sent off to be raped by their families? We thought they killed people for raping kids in redneck country... guess we have a new stereotype.

Via the Associated Press.

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Teacher Takes In A 13-Year-Old Boy-- You Know What Happens Next...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:58:00 GMT

Debra LaFavre and the rest of the kooky teacher pervs have nothing on 29-year-old Boston-area teacher Christine McCallum for one simple reason.

They never got to live with their victim and sleep with him more than three hundred times. According to news reports from all over the world, McCallum became a sort-of foster parent to a thirteen-year-old boy after his father was unable to take care of a kid by himself. McCallum and her husband (yep-- seems every perv these days has a spouse of only a few short years) took in the future victim and his brother in late 2005; by early the following year, police allege, McCallum was plying her charge with vodka and seductive attire, leading to makeout sessions and, on February 7th, the taking of his virginity.

This went on for two years-- including sex in the next room while Scott, who was only McCallum's husband for two years when the affair is believed to have begun-- until McCallum and the boy broke up over text messages the boy was receiving from girls his own age. Yes, this is one of those idiots who is said to have given her victim his own cellphone and even wrote incriminating details about their love lives on his MySpace page:

"It's hard to be in love with you and set boundaries for you," she wrote. "It's hard to kiss you and tell you no. It's hard to want someone to take care of me when I have to be the one taking care of everyone else."

You would think someone would've seen that and called the cops-- but it wasn't until a teenage friend of the victim told his own parents what was going on that the police got involved. And the obliviousness doesn't stop there-- McCallum's husband attended court with the accused, never batting an eye, even as prosecutors read damning evidence (most of it in McCallum's own hand) into the record...

Via various sources.

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Florida Teacher Says, "Oh, THAT Student I Molested In 1983... He Was 16, It Was Okay"

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:46:00 GMT

Sorry, Wanda Smith of Orlando, Florida, it turns out the kid was only 11... and the fact that you videotaped him while you two had sex isn't going to help your case, either...

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of the Orlando Sentinel story about Smith's arrest:

In 2005, Smith's stepson discovered a decades-old video depicting Wanda's sexual battery of a boy who may or may not have been underage. Smith and her ex-husband would not fully cooperate with the police, claiming it was an undetermined male they had once employed, and so the investigation stalled.

It would have remained unresolved if not for a chance encounter-- a woman dropping her son off at school realized Smith was still teaching there. Having been told of the sexual abuse by the now-grown man, who had been her ex-boyfriend, the unidentified mom ratted Smith out to the cops, who interviewed the alleged victim and learned that the boy had indeed been videotaped by Smith while the two had sex. He had been in sixth grade detention when the assaults began. According to the poor guy, Smith molested him for years afterward.

Smith denies these allegations, stating that the boy was at least sixteen at the time. However, that didn't stop the 57-year-old from retiring immediately after the school launched an investigation into her alleged lifestyle...