Scanner : teenage sex

While You Were Sleeping: Who's #1 on Yahoo?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:07:00 GMT

Our server had some issues this morning, but we're up and running now...

A woman showed her daughter's friend how to have sex. You know, liberal-sex-ed style.

Did you miss Hillary Clinton's historic moment?

Darwin couldn't be happier: two guys stole a car, got into a shootout with the po-po, and ended up in a high-speed chase on the wrong side of the highway, where they rammed another car head on. The other car? Stolen.

Ray Winstone approves of his daughter Jaime's nude scenes (see above photo.) In fact, he can't wait to-- yuck-- watch them.

A Colorado man is being sued by his ex-girlfriend and her attorney for libelous comments he made in the Rants and Raves section of Craigslist.

A woman was arrested in Nigeria for burning her servant's penis after the 18-year-old took off with some of her money.

It's a sad state of affairs when someone as boring and unattractive as Britney Spears tops Yahoo's most-searched list for the fourth year in a row. Guys, it's time to find someone more interesting to fantasize about.

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 10-6

Dad Nobly Defends Son Against Rape Charges... Oh, Wait...

Mom Films Her Boyfriend Having Sex with Her 13-Year-Old Daughter

The English Are Still Too Prudish To Appreciate Nudity

Sloppy Seconds: Pregnancy Pact Girl Speaks Out, "There Was No Pact"

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:01:00 GMT

God was arrested for dealing cocaine outside of a church in Florida. For real. [YBNBY]

Holy Steve Holt! A big-screen version of Arrested Development is being planned for next year. [Times Online]

Women with long nails are really annoyed at the designers of the iPhone, and their misogynist touch pad. [Yahoo! Tech]

Is Kobe Bryant to blame for Shaquille O'Neal's failing marriage? Or is it Shaq's bad rapping? [TMZ]

Is anyone surprised that Amy Winehouse is still smoking even after she's been diagnosed with pre-emphysema? [Us]

Good thing Anne Hathaway got away from her billionaire BF when she did. He's been arrested on charges of fraud, money laundering and conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Wonder what it would cost to bail a billionaire out of jail? [People]

Wow, watch one of the super happy "pregnancy pact" girls with her boyfriend (who looks just like Adrian Brody!) talk to Good Morning America. There was no pact! [MollyGood]

Related:

Kids: This is Why You Shouldn't Smoke (Crack)

Sloppy Seconds: What Happens to Julia Allison's Nipple Does Not Stay in Vegas

File Under The Worst Idea Ever: Teen Pregnancy Pacts

Video of the Day: JC Penney Wants Your Kids to Have Sex?

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:42:00 GMT

Oh, hey J.C. Penney, is that a fully-erect, lubed-up penis in your pants or are you just happy to see us? Because we're pretty sure it's a penis and you've got it aimed at teenagers.

In this commercial, two teens practice getting dressed as quickly as possible so that if the girl's mom walks into the basement, they'll be able to look like they're "just watching TV."

Now, don't get us wrong, we're not opposed to the idea of teenagers having sex, as long as they're mature and educated enough to be smart about it. So it's not really the premise of this commercial that has us all confused, it's the fact that J.C. Penney — that dumpy department store in the dumpy mall that sold kind-of dumpy clothes (which were often our "back to school clothes") — is blatantly endorsing teenage sex.

We'd honestly be a lot more comfortable with it if the Trojan logo popped up at the end instead of the J.C. Penney logo, but maybe that's just us. And maybe that's only because we associate J.C. Penney with our grandmother.

What do you think?

[Adrants via YBNBY]

Related:

Today in Master Debating: "Sex and the Teenage Girl"

What's Cuter than Old People Writing About Young Peoples' Sex Lives? Nothing!

Teenage Sexual Awakening Via Google Maps and Polaroids

File Under The Worst Idea Ever: Teen Pregnancy Pacts

How Getting High Can Get You AIDS

Steve McKay — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:37:00 GMT

We know what you’re thinking…but no…this is not some redneck posting on a church message board. This is an actual "information" pamphlet from the 90’s by the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information, which gets its funding from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Apparently it is still being distributed!

It informs us that when you do drugs you get really stupid and might "get romantic" with someone. Then you could get AIDS, because when you do drugs like alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine you "just don’t care." Information pamphlets that talk cool to try to freak teens out are usually pretty funny, but this thing kills two birds with one stone in a way that is just plain confusing.

It tries to use AIDS to scare kids off both sex and drugs all at once, and ends up totally diluting all of the issues it "tackles." It doesn’t even really talk about contaminated needles, which is really the only firm straight line you can draw from consensual drug use to HIV.

The best part of the page is the comic, in which a hip urban teen with a flat-top, Fresh Prince shirt and shell-toes says, or (as the caps might suggest) screams, to his girlfriend "I DON’T DO DRUGS!" Her confusing response to him is "I’m not interested."…What? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Who proof-reads these things?

Teenage Sexual Awakening Via Google Maps and Polaroids

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:20:00 GMT

Whenever we take a friend (sexy or not) back to our hometown, a stroll around the old neighborhood rapidly devolves into a tour of who we had fumbling awkward makeouts with and where. The garages, the playgrounds, the convenience store bathrooms, we could practically draw you a map.

Looks like Igor, lord and master of Driven By Boredom, has done exactly that. Looks like he has a similar sex-tinged past, and has created a Google map to celebrate his formative touch and grab experiences. It's intense, and involves the filthiest of photographic mediums, Polaroids. The creepy little voyeur in you will sing, and waste half a work day.