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Venus and Serena Williams Pretend Not to Enjoy Happy Streaker

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 19:11:00 GMT

Venus and Serena Williams were taking a break from mopping the courts with their opponents at the Australian Open on Friday when... oh Jesus...

Here's some grainy, soundless video footage of the streaker who embarrassed security by getting right up in the personal space of the two tennis superstars. The man's junk appears to be censored, but really, the quality is so atrocious you wouldn't know the difference.)

Tennis hotties are frequent victims of dudes who should stick to posting dick pics on Craig's List for gratification. The most memorable ones are depicted in these news photos, from 2006 and 2000, respectively, and both are believed to have been during Anna Kournikova matches:

Don't miss the facial expressions on, well, just about everyone in the crowd...

Related:

Welcome To The Wonderful World Of Naked Rugby

The One Time Streaking Wasn't So Funny

Naked Man Banned From Playing with His (Bowling) Balls

"Oh My God, Is My Penis Going To Shrink?"

Happy Ending To This Naked Man's Prank

While You Were Sleeping: The Facebook Firing

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

It became apparent that a Boston-area football coach was stealing from the school's uniform fund when he made an ATM withdrawal of $500 at 1am while standing next to a strip club.

A teacher in a Daytona-area school district was busted for some sleazy motel sex with her seventeen-year-old male charge.

Miss Louisiana Teen USA lost her title in the most embarrassing way imaginable: for skipping out on a restaurant check (what, they don't pay you enough, toots?) and, adding arrest to injury, leaving her marijuana behind.

David Duchovny filed a lawsuit over that tennis-pro-cheating bullshit story.

We always knew there'd eventual be a news story about some dummy getting busted by their boss for revealing, via a Facebook status update, that they are not actually "sick at home."

[H]e was found out when his boss spotted this Facebook profile update on the day in question, August 21: "Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f*** it I'm still trashed. SICKIE WOO!"

Ha ha, dickweed. Speaking of dickweeds, this guy claimed he was on his way to see Beyonce and that's why a cop shouldn't arrest him for driving like a drunk driver.

A Florida website about politics: "Top 5 reasons McCain could still win." No mention of what our #1 reason would be: "FLORIDA."

Related:

I Wasn't Going to Live Blog the Debate...

World's Greatest Mom Defends Daughter's Honor... Shotgun Style

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Cheerleaders Make Sports Watchable Again

12-Year-Old Boy Gets Arrested For Attacking Pregnant Teacher, Threatening To Kill Her

Junior High Teacher Charged With... Oh My...

While You Were Sleeping: Beyonce Is One Sexy Cop

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Cheerleaders Make Sports Watchable Again

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama on Meet the Press. He pointed out the Senator is and has always been a Christian... and so what if he was a Muslim?

A gym teacher posed as a lesbian model to try to get his student to send him a nude self-portrait.

Jon Stewart has only one thing to say to Sarah Palin... and he can't say it on TV...

That's right... he tells Sarah Palin: "Fuck you." The full transcript of this almost completely garbled video is here.

Guess how much a tennis lesson with Andy Roddick costs? A million bucks, right? That's what you'd think, but not only is it a mere 15 g's, Roddick is throwing in a nudity option as well.

You know how much we love pranks.

The shortlist for the Oscars' Best Foreign Language Film nominees was announced, although we don't think many of them will see release in the U.S. for a while.

A man was charged with taking a leak in a police car and spitting on a cop. The man was, of course, butt naked at the time.

And a bunch of cheerleaders were busted for hitting the bottle before The Big Game. Wait, some teenagers aren't drunk the night before a big game? That's not the America we know and love...

Woman Steals Daughter's Identity to Become a High School Cheerleader

"Do That Little Cheerleader Move," NY State Assemblyman Tells Intern

Town Rallies Behind Principal Who Discriminated Against Lesbian Student

Who Would You Rather: Grey's Anatomy Lesbian Doctor Edition

The 5 Hottest Men And 5 Hottest Women Of The 2008 Summer Olympics (Part Two)

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:29:00 GMT

Did you catch our hottest women of the Summer Olympics list? Here's part two... the guys...

By the way, we are going to go with almost all American athletes for this one just because it's been harder to find hot athlete dudes on the internet unless you can Google in other languages...

Andrew Campbell for Sailing:

Andrew Rosenthal, Volleyball

Brian McBride, Soccer

Raj Bhavsar, Gymnastics

And Alexander Despatie, the Canadian and world champion diver...

Via Cosmo and our own dirty minds. We welcome your suggestions for replacements or additions to this list in the comments...

See Previous: The 5 Hottest Men And 5 Hottest Women Of The 2008 Summer Olympics (Part One: The Females)

The 5 Hottest Men And 5 Hottest Women Of The 2008 Summer Olympics (Part One)

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 17:59:00 GMT

Naaaah... Maria Sharapova's too obvious a choice, but enjoy this photo anyway

NBC wants you to have Olympic fever... after all, how many hundred million dollars have they spent just for the rights to telecast the games?

By that rationale, they'll need to keep people hooked... and there's nothing that'll hook an American audience like drooling over the world's finest athletic specimens...

First, the Females:

Until just the other day, Ana Ivanovic was the number one ranked women's tennis player in the world. Forget Sharapova, man...

Katerina Emmons from Czech Republic: Because there's nothing hotter than a woman with a sniper rifle.

Kelly Sotherton from Great Britain. She nabbed a Bronze in Athens and Jackie Joyner-Kersee sees her as a heavy favorite to win gold this time. We just want to marry her and seize the throne at Buckingham. (Maybe because she reminds us a little bit of Carla Bruni.)

Jenny Adams from the US. The 100m master did an FHM shoot, so we'll root for her on that alone (although we don't read FHM or anything... really.)

Stephanie Rice from Australia. Going through a well-publicized breakup has got to be a major distraction on the eve of the Beijing Games, but swimmer Stephanie is the world record holder in the 200 meter individual medley and should perform strong here.

Continued in Part Two: The Male Candidates.

Several pics via Webtv.