Scanner : terrorism

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Facebook

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

The feminist porn awards sounds like a show somebody forgot to e-mail us an invite to.

Real-life lawyers working in Second Life law-- is there anything funnier?

A woman is suing her bank for telling her husband about her secret $150K account.

Question of the day: "If Dick Cheney believes he can prove that torture saved us from terrorist attacks, why does he oppose a full investigation?"

How funny is it that a major movie studio is remaking a movie as fucked up as Videodrome?

Police broke up a drug dealing operation... run by fifth graders.

The Flaming Lips won-- their biggest single is unofficially officially the state song of Oklahoma... or something.

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are finally tying the knot next month.

Felony Franks-- the world's most badass hotdog stand.

And Lindsay Lohan may be back together with that DJ girlfriend of hers.

Don't Use Facebook on Your Sick Day, Silly

The PETA Empire Strikes Back

This Week in Gayness: Fred Phelps Attacks London

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Australia is regressing into the past more and more every day: in addition to proposing a block on all terrorism-related websites (what, they don't have journalists in that country?), they want to block a lot of gay content.

John Kerry wants to reunite a gay couple. The Massachusetts Senator asked Attorney General Eric Holder to bring back a deported Brazilian man who was raped in his home country. A federal judge had said the rape was basically no big deal and he faced no danger in South America.

Rascal Flatts is telling people their new single, "Love Who You Love," has a pro-gay message.

A London elementary school has been teaching students that it's okay to have homosexual feelings and relationships. The best part of this is that when parents pull their kids from the school to avoid them hearing the lessons, the kids are marked truant. Of course, Fred Phelps heard about this and is bringing the Westboro Baptist Church over there to mess with them.

A federal judge ordered the state of Louisiana to put the names of both adopted fathers on a baby's birth certificate.

Chuck Schumer has finally come out... to back same-sex marriage.

And meanwhile, the Vermont Senate turned their gay civil unions into gay marriages. Woo-hoo!

Related:

This Week in Gayness: Aubrey O'Day May Be Gay

This Week In Gayness: America vs. Fred Phelps

Moran Suggests We Need To Get Rid Of Obama

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Schwarzenegger

The Gays Fought The Law, Too Early to Tell Who Won

PETA Takes On Foie Gras, Valentine's Day, Decency Laws

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:24:00 GMT

Every year, PETA tries to top themselves for Valentine's Day. Since no one surveys the establishments or companies they protest in order to judge the effectiveness of a PETA-led boycott, there's no way of knowing whether these campaigns are having an effect one or another.

However, there's no denying it makes for a popular local news report...

Sometime yesterday, five PETA protesters took off their tops and covered their bosoms with signs reading "Have a heart -- drop foie gras" and stood in read heels in front of Selfridges, an upscale department/grocery store in London. Selfridges has not joined other fancy-schmancy stores in the UK in dropping foie gras from its stock, apparently believing force-feeding terrorist geese is okay as long as they're tasty. Or something. In any case, they basically blew off the protesters, while photographers, locals, and leering tourists snapped photos of the activists.

The BBC, the Independent, and the AFP have the skimpy story, while we have their photos. (Apparently, these were taken on London Bridge, which we thought was in Arizona these days, but whatever...)

Related:

Obama Speechwriter and His Maxim Girl Steam Up the White House

PeTA: Again With Thinking Sex Sells Unpopular Idea

Today's Topless PETA Roundup

Christians Retaliate Against Atheists With Even Lamer Ad Campaign

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:02:00 GMT

Last month's story about the atheism bus and subway ad campaign is far and away the most-visited post we've ever run. Fools on both sides of the aisle are still debating the merits of the anti-God argument and every other aspect of the article. As of now, there are more than 80 comments (hey, that's a lot for us) and no end to the debate in sight.

Now, comes word that the Christians are striking back publicly, with their own counter-campaign to the counter-campaign...

After more than 150 complaints about the above-pictured slogan from whiners who had no problem with the original campaign, a pro-Christian God-loving and in-your-face bus ad, the Christians decided that public momentum was on their side. They've decided to strike back with this new marketing strategy: a bus ad.

"There definitely is a God. So join the Christian Party and enjoy your life."

Wow-- what, was "I know you are, but what am I?" already taken? Golf clap for creativity, guys, just taking the original slogan and changing the words to fit your own opinion. That kind of thinking is why Democrats gave it up to loser candidates like George Bush and Saxby Chambliss. ("No, terrorists are not going to kill you" "no, we will not raise taxes on the middle class," "no, John Kerry is not Herman Munster," etc.)

Then again, this is all just preaching to the choir-- almost literally. No one will be persuaded by either of these arguments, but it was admittedly refreshing to see an ad that didn't use scare tactics (that means you, "show up to church or God will punish you" billboards in the American South) to express a religious message.

Related:

All Aboard the Atheism Bus

Famous Girl Trying To Find Guy Who Lost His Jacket? Total Fraud

From Porn Stars To Prostitutes... The Latest Ads

Real or Fake? Nude Photos of Obama's Mother

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

We're serious-- these could actually be real, although one blogger has an interesting theory that would cancel out that possibility.

Of course, the real question is: why are we seeing these photos now, less than two weeks till Election Day? Could this be some sort of ruse by the Right, now that the Ayers-Socialism-Muslim smear campaign has obviously failed? We found this on a radical right-wing website that claims Islamofascists and left-wingers are one and the same:

It's amazing what there is on the internet. A geneological researcher has emailed me with three pictures of Obama's mother in the nude. That would be of trivial interest except for the setting in which the picures were taken. They were clearly taken in a sophisticated mid-century apartment and my correspondent suggests that the apartment details could be used to identify the photographer. He feels that the photographer is the Communist "Frank" whom Obama mentions as his mentor. That Frank was so intimate with Obama's mother would support the contention that Frank was in fact Obama's father. Various bloggers have pointed out how similar Obama looks to "Frank" and the coverup of Obama's birth certificate is certainly very suspicious...

Yep, these people will say anything to drag Obama through the mud (since they can't win on things like issues, facts, and reality)... and apparently they'll take as fact what "a geneological [sic] researcher" e-mailed them. Groovy.

One Google blogger ("Anna") disagrees:

Sorry, I just don't see it. For one thing Obama's mother always wore her hair long and the woman in the photos had short hair. I think
they are barking up the wrong tree here which is so sad because there are so so many right trees that they have available to them.

Ah... yeah... there's so much else they can hit Obama on... such as... uh... that he once shook hands with a guy at a rally who did time for unpaid parking tickets. Terrorist!

Anyway, back to the photos... here's one. Compare it to the one at the top left and decide for yourself...

Her face kinda looks photoshopped here, so we're going to call bullshit where no one else is. That's a shame, too, because someone needs to call these despicable right-wingers out on this continued nonsense-- guys and dolls, if you have to resort to disgracing somebody's mother in order to win an election, it's time to admit you may been on the wrong side of the aisle...

Here and here are the other pictures. We don't have the heart to post them.

Related:

Who Would You Rather? Rachelle Leah vs. Stacey Dash Playboy Spreads

The Sarah Palin Porno... Revealed

Leryn Franco Makes Up For Missing Out On The Whole "Nude Olympians Craze"

Teenage Boy Busted For Receiving A Nude Picture Message

Hot or Not: The Lily Cole Playboy Cover?

Mom Sent 12,000+ Texts To Her Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend... Then Tried To Blackmail Him

Al Qaeda Endorses John McCain For President

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:07:00 GMT

We were always a bit perplexed by these Republicans saying that Al Qaeda would welcome a Democratic White House, as if what terrorists want is some sort of laid-back President who doesn't want to fight them. Yeah, Al Qaeda's goal is to be ignored... right. We also recall seeing Rip Torn at the 2004 RNC and being disturbed that he was consorting with two people wearing "9 out of 10 terrorists prefer John Kerry" buttons. And doing so on New York City soil, no less, was twice as disgraceful.

Now, it seems a just reward for those who would exploit 9/11 for political gain that the McCain-Palin ticket has just received a nod from Al Qaeda itself...

Here's most of the text from a message on a terrorist website, which is for members only and is password protected. (We found it here, lest you think we're members or something.) The poster notes that because McCain is likely to continue fighting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Al Qaeda should support him. (Take that, Republican scum, your candidate is the one who actually endangers American lives.)

"This requires presence of an impetuous American leader such as McCain, who pledged to continue the war till the last American soldier. Then, Al-Qaeda will have to support McCain in the coming elections so that he continues the failing march of his predecessor, Bush."
"If Al-Qaeda carries out a big operation against American interests, this act will be support of McCain because it will push the Americans deliberately to vote for McCain so that he takes revenge for them against Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda then will succeed in exhausting America till its last year in it."

While You Were Sleeping: Colin Powell To Endorse?

Scandals Clinging To Sarah Palin Like Trig To Her Pantsuit

Sloppy Seconds: Which Power Ranger Is Guilty of Murder?

If You're A Liberal And Terrified Your Vote Won't Count...

This Week in Gayness: Ellen vs. the Bigots

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:21:00 GMT

Nutjob of the Century anti-gay activist Janet Porter actually believes Barack Obama will name Bill Ayers to the Department of Homeland Security and that his wife Michelle will read about the Weather Underground to schoolchildren. Do you think these people actually believe these complete exaggerations and lies or are they just trying to win at any cost?

In troubled times, the homeless suffer the most. In George Bush's America, the gay homeless suffer the most.

The internets wish there was more to this story of Gwyneth Paltrow agreeing to "help" Madonna get over Guy Ritchie...

A decade ago this headline would have been a lot hotter: Gwyneth Paltrow says she's "helping" Madonna get over Guy Ritchie. [Fark]

The New York Times thinks the Connecticut gay marriage fight will come down a fight at the constitutional level.

And you just knew Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi would make a video to fight Proposition 8.

Related:

Video of the Day: Vote No on Prop 8

Sex Shop Etiquette... From A $9-An-Hour Sex Shop Employee

Gay Marriage: God Is Gonna Getcha... Claim Scary Freaks

What Does this 93-Year-Old-Man Love So Much About Old-People Sex?

This Week In Gayness: Fauxmosexuals Ruining It For Everyone Else

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

Emily Farris — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:23:00 GMT

We would absolutely agree that Eminem was the best rapper in "Eight Mile." We even stood up and cheered at the end... but the best rapper in the world? [FadedYouth]

We have a much easier time believing that Halle Berry is the sexiest woman in the world. [Yahoo!]

We're also surprisingly happy that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together; mostly because we know how much break ups suck. [People]

Howard Stern married his girlfriend Beth Ostrosky. [MTV]

Is somebody going to knock Elisabeth Hasselbeck off any time soon? Off The View, people! Off The View! [MollyGood]

"I don't have a problem discussing the topic of somebody being gay, but I do have a problem discussing my personal life," Queen Latifah told Sunday's New York Times magazine. [Us]

Lindsay Lohan Takes Time Out of Her Busy Day to Remind Us It's 9/11

Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 18:07:00 GMT

We'd almost forgotten that today is the seven-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center... otherwise known as the cringe-worthy phrase "nine-eleven." Actually, we tried to forget, not that we can get too far away from it. And it's not so much that we want to forget what happened, as that we want to avoid interacting with people who like to take pictures of "Ground Zero" and wear "We'll Never Forget" t-shirts. Unfortunately, we have Us Weekly and Lindsay Lohan (and Sam Ronson, too!) to remind us.

“I am in New York and I would like to remind everybody to take a moment today for those lost in tragedy that occurred on 9/11/01," Lohan blogs.

Ronson adds that "waking up in NYC this morning, seven years later ... feels like just yesterday this city and our worlds were turned upside down."

Ronson recalls what it was like witnessing the attacks.

"Never in my lifetime had I ever believed that I would see such horror - the kind that you see in documentaries set in far off places and read about in text books," she writes.

"Never in my life had I ever thought that I would wake up and fall asleep afraid, watching things on television that felt like a film, walking through a city that felt like a war zone," she goes on.

Adds Ronson, "There were army vehicles on Houston Street, barricades dividing neighborhoods and lines around the block of people waiting to donate blood -- set in front of a backdrop of smoke, filling a space where two of the largest buildings once stood.

"Two buildings that shaped one of the most famous skylines in this country, or in the world... seven years later, and I will never forget," she writes.

"I don’t really know what to say," she says. "To all those we lost, we will never forget, and never take for granted, the sacrifices that you made."

Well, if Lilo and Sam have to talk to Us Weekly about 9/11, we guess that was as good a way as any to do it.

[Us Weekly: Lindsay Lohan Remembers 9/11]

[NYT: The Ceremony at Ground Zero]

Related:

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson: "A Lovely Couple"

This Week In Gayness: Sam Ronson's Gay Tell-All About Lindsay?

Sam and Lilo Sittin' in a Tattoo Parlor... I.N.K.I.N.G.

Michael Lohan Sells Out Lindsay Once Again

Sloppy Seconds: And Just How Will Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Make a Baby?

Todd Solondz Moves Reign of Terror Off Shore

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:35:00 GMT

For the seventh time now, director Todd Solondz is returning to work hoping to make someone else uncomfortable with his unique perspectives on sexuality, identity and suburbia. For the first time, Solondz has jettisoned his normal Jersey environment for a new location….

People of Puerto Rico, take cover!

The upcoming film, originally called Life During Wartime and focusing on the Iraq war, is set to begin shooting this fall – just as the cooling temperatures begin to effect the body’s ability to long distance run, or in this case, swim. According to JoBlo, the film is

a proposed semi-sequel to his twisted cult classic "Happiness," starring Demi Moore, Paul Reubens and Emma Thompson among others, as people twittering on the edge of an unpredictable, sexually alienating world (sounds about right), and is slated to begin shooting in October.

Once again creating a pseudo sequel to an earlier film that met some acclaim and failed to fill many theatre seats, LDW is building on a story that previously dealt with statutory rape, sex crimes and a dog eating a teenagers first ejaculate.

Todd Solondz can be a brilliant man. But… the friendly threat of a new feature coming our way is enough to make ones cheeks clinch until one hundred percent, scientifically verified, confirmation that it is safe to let go.

McCain Supporters Prove Idiots Continue To Procreate

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:52:00 GMT

Part of the problem is that you won't even be surprised what McCain Democrats are saying about Obama. Nonetheless, this stuff is still scary as hell...

Kirstie Hartle of Rome, N.Y., a registered Democrat who has never supported a Republican presidential candidate [said that] with Clinton out of the race, "I'm Republican all the way now."
She said she doesn't like Obama's name and thinks he has a questionable background. She also said she thought Obama was deceitful when he broke from his church after it hurt his campaign, and she doesn't trust him to handle the Iraq war.

"It sounds to me like a Middle Eastern type of name and whether or not he's born here in the United States, he doesn't seem like, to me, somebody who is trustworthy," Hartle said in a telephone interview. "You can't trust anybody these days, so who's to say he's not a terrorist and we just don't realize it yet?" [Right-- but, um, doesn't that mean McCain could also be a terrorist? Or maybe even... you?? Ed.]

When asked an open-ended question about the first words that come to mind about Obama, some former Clinton supporters used words like Muslim or terrorist. Those misconceptions have been fueled by Internet rumors that point out his name is Barack Hussein Obama but otherwise lie about his background.

"I refuse to vote for an Arab to be in my White House," said retired salesman Dean Johnson of Lanett, Ala. "That is the only factor. Otherwise, you couldn't break both my legs and make me vote for a Republican."

Never mind that John McCain, who was born in Panama, could arguably be deemed "unqualified" to be President based on this kind of logic, you readers know all this stuff is untrue, right? Barack Obama is from Hawaii, is not an Arab, Muslim, or anything else that racist, ignorant, bigoted, idiotic, right-wing Democrats (and Republicans) mislabel him as. And if he was, fuck you, John McCain is a Panamanian Vietnamese spy who staged the moon landing while pretending to be in a POW prison camp. So there.

Via the Associated Press.

Losers of The Day: Dunkin' Donuts

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:10:00 GMT

Scanner Emily alerted you to the Rachael Ray ad fiasco that came to light yesterday. But we can't let the story go that easily, since there is a political element to this and now, thanks to us, a boycott of Dunkin' Donuts in the works...

First, let's take a look at the photo evidence, if you can call it that:

The above screenshot is from a Dunkin' Donuts ad that Rachael Ray appeared in recently, an image which did not go over well with Fox News, Michelle Malkin, and the rest of the right-wing do-gooder community. But what was it about this ad and this image that upset them so much?

Apparently, it's Rachael's poor fashion choice. Her black-and-white scarf, insignificant to the average eye, was spotted immediately by Fox News and others for what it really is: a terrorist beacon.

The scarf, or keffiyeh if you are a Republican crusader, "...has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos.

"The apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."

If that's the case, genius, and the keffiyeh is defined the way you see it (which, thankfully, it's not) then you must also include Lawrence of Arabia, the innocent citizens of Iraq, Trent Reznor, and those Saudi Arabians your President loves so much. That's right, George Bush coddles terrorists in the Middle East. We said it first.

Dunkin', for their part, first disputed the offensiveness of the ad, saying, You people are goddamned idiots and should be run out of town like Joe Fucking McCarthy, eventually caved to The Stupids and issued the following press release:

"Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial."

They were afraid of a boycott or something? Well, they're certainly getting one now...

Via SFGate.

Previously: Sloppy Seconds...

Sloppy Seconds: Are Donna and David Still Married?

Emily Farris — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:56:00 GMT

Wow, we knew Rachael Ray was an obnoxious freak, but a terrorist? [LA Times]

Have we mentioned how screwed R. Kelly is? [MTV]

If we ever get in a fight on the street, we hope we have a box of moon pies readily available to use as a weapon, too. [KansasCity.com]

The good people at Fleshbot would like you to meet Vicktoria, the world's hottest amputee, and so would we. [Fleshbot]

After watching the trailer we want to see "He's Just Not That Into You" more than we want to see the "Sex and the City" movie. Who'da thunk it? [Entertainment Weekly]

Apparently we're the only ones: the SATC movie opened to much hullaballoo last night. [Yahoo!]

Kirsten Dunst claims she checked into Cirque Lodge treatment center for depression, not drugs. Aaaaand, nobody's buying it. [Jossip]

Okay, apparently Tori Spelling really is coming back to 90210.. as... Donna Martin. We imagine David would have dumped her ass by now, but nobody knows! [People]

Sloppy Seconds: Victoria's Secret's List, SJP's New Show, Cyber Storms and Madonna's Money

Emily Farris — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:15:00 GMT

Our big little sister FameCrawler weighs in on Victoria's Secret's 'What is Sexy?' list.

Sarah Jessica Parker is producing a reality show for fine artists, and leaving us a little confused about why.

Move over chemical terrorist attacks, electronic attacks are the next big thing.

Did you know that Madonna is the richest woman in music?