Scanner : texting

Sloppy Seconds: The Summer Days of Our Slutty Lives

Emily Farris — Fri, 08 May 2009 23:09:00 GMT

Sandra Bullock is "not sure" she wants kids. Apparently this warrants a news story. [Us]

We blame South Park for making us laugh every time we see the word "probe" no matter the context. Today's laughable headline: "Police, 50 Cent see house fire probe differently." Sort-of sounds like something that could be cleared up with a little Preparation H, right? [Yahoo!]

As long as we can remember Emily has been one of the top 10 baby names for girls. This year, we're at number three. And we're pretty sure we've dated at least one of each from the baby boy section. [SSA.gov]

Sorry for the late notice on Free Chocolate Day. [The Inquisitr]

Firtexting: apparently more than just a thing to do when you want some booty. A site? A book? A worldview? [BuzzFeed]

Apparently all of those soap operas we watched with the summer between first and second grade (and second and third and third and fourth and fourth and fifth... well, you get the picture) turned us slutty. [KIDK]

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While You Were Sleeping: Foxy Brown Joins The Nipple Slip Parade

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:12:00 GMT

Charley Pride: country music legend and our Hero of the Day, no question.

This man's stripper addiction costs him pretty much his entire salary. Dude, you can rent a harem in most countries, including the US, every night of the week, for what you're throwing away in English pounds.

Spencer Tunick won't be showing naked Irish people to Ireland after all.

This is a tragic(ally hilarious?) tale of Mile High Club action gone wrong.

Don't text while driving-- it can cost you years of prison time.

Google Voice is coming to the iPhone. In other news, Scanner Brian may be coming to the iPhone today...

We told you about how meddling Puritan Republicans basically banned porn at Maryland State schools. Thankfully, the students aren't giving up
so easily...

Did Sam and Lindsay really break up this time? And does this mean this is the last time we'll ever have to mention their names in writing?

And Foxy Brown slipped a nip in concert. That is all you need to know.

Website Stockpiles Your Worst In-Flight Experiences

Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Ryanair Stewardess Wants You to Join Her Mile High Club

Sloppy Seconds: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Cure for Joaquin Phoenix

Putting an End to Teacher Sex?

Emily Farris — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:55:00 GMT

We're sorry for possibly giving Scanner Brian a coronary with that headline; if teacher-student sex were to end, what ever would he have to write about? And really, what we're talking about here is only one small step toward putting an end to teacher sex, but one giant step for the state of Utah.

Following reports that not one, but two teachers in the aptly-named town of Bountiful, UT were banging the same underage student, the state's lawmakers have decided to 'study the issue of teacher-student texting.'

We didn't know such practices were even allowed, let alone considered appropriate (the one time we had to call a teacher at home we almost shit our pants) but apparently all the kids are texting their teachers these days. One republican representative, Rep. Sheryl Allen, thinks maybe it's not such a big deal.

"It can be used as a tool to remind students about homework or give them a piece of information. Students are driving this because texting is one of their major modes of communication," she said.

Meanwhile, the two teachers involved in the case, Linda Nef, 46, and Valynne Bowers, 39—who both face first-degree felony charges—will undergo mental health evaluations. We must admit, we are quite curious to know the root of teacher sex? Scanner Brian, maybe you could explain it to us?

[KSL: Teachers accused in sex scandal to undergo mental evaluations]

Related:

Here's A Kind of Teacher Sex Story We've Never Seen Before...

Doctor Sex is the New Teacher Sex

Today in Teacher Sex: One Does It On The Floor, The Other Runs Off to Mexico with Her Boy

Teacher Sex Craze Spreads to the U.K.

Is "Tech Sex" Somewhere Between Cyber Sex and Technical Sex?

Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:12:00 GMT

Oh, sorry. We thought the term "sexting" was the word on the street for teenagers sending sexually explicit text messages from phone to phone, but apparently the "exting" suffix is a little too niche for the broader problem, which is "tech sex."

According to a new poll, one in five US teens has sent nude or near nude images to someone by phone or email, and twice as many have sent "suggestive electronic messages."

We don't really see how this is any different than the coded messages our "friend" used to send to our pager in high school, except this takes all the fun out of us having to consult a phone key pad to figure out that he had a dream that he was shaving our pubic hair.

Anyway, this is apparently a problem, or else there wouldn't be a news story about it, right? But the real problem, as we see it is (as we've pointed out before): if you take naked pictures with your cell phone they will get leaked. We promise.

At least it's not unprotected anal sex.

[AFP: One in five US teens has had 'tech sex': study]

Video of the Day: Sexting

Nude High School Cheerleader Scandal is Disturbing for a Few Reasons

How Long Were You a "Technical Virgin?"

"Dad, Guess Who Lost Their Virginity Last Night?"

Video of the Day: Sexting

Emily Farris — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:28:00 GMT

If we had to guess, we'd say "sexting" is sending a text message booty call. We'd be wrong. "Sexting," apparently, is "sexy photos being sent from phone to phone.... a trend that teens and their parents ought to know about. "

Because, uh, you could go to jail for it.

via videosift.com

We're going to start using the term our way. Somebody's getting sexted this weekend!

Related:

When Drinking and Technology Don't Mix: Scanner Emily's Facebook Faux Pas

"Hey there sex E girl" Text Message Haikus for Sarah Hepola

A Booty Call From Scanner, Er Salon, Sarah

Mom Sent 12,000+ Texts To Her Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend... Then Tried To Blackmail Him

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Bobby Tisdale Is Watching You! No, Really.

Bobby Tisdale — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:56:00 GMT

Sorry I’ve been slack on my posts lately. I was shooting a comedy pilot in Shreveport for the last ten days. I’m back though, and I promise to get on the blog-wagon from here on out. But first, Bobby needs your advice.

I made it back just in time for the Super Bowl and after the game had great conversation/semi-date with this cute girl that lives in my neighborhood. We were getting cozy in a booth at my local bar and I thought everything was going well. Body language was good. All the stars seemed to be aligned. So, I walked her home like a gentleman. When we got to her building she playfully pointed to her window and showed me where she lived, and then told me to call her so we could go on a real date. Blah, blah, blah. You know the drill.

Anyway, I was walking home last night and I couldn’t help but notice her sitting by her kitchen window so I sent her a fun text saying that I was watching her in her apartment. Here’s exactly what I said:

“I can see you! Well, if I had binoculars I could. Not in a creepy way but in a good way!”

Harmless, right? Well, it's been a day and she still hasn’t responded. She could have at least sent a text saying, “That actually IS creepy in a CREEPY way." I mean, give me something to work with, here.

Now I don’t want to call her. Is that wrong? She’s the one that pointed out her kitchen window to me?! Maybe she goes by a two-day text rule or something. Is there even a two-day text rule? At the most, there should just be a two-hour text rule. Don’t even get me farted!

Oh, well. So my dating failure tip of the week is: Never send a text saying you’re watching someone through their window. Not even as a joke. Especially to girls who don't get it.

I’ll keep you posted and let you know if she ever gets back to me, but I’m not smelling wedding balls with this one.

It's Always Too Early to Start Thinking About Valentine's Day... Especially When it's Only January 4

Emily Farris — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Hey, wait a minute. Who decided it was already time to start thinking about Valentine's Day? Oh, riiiiight. The same people who think that women want tacky lingerie as gifts. Also, the same people who think as soon as we put on tacky lingerie we'll want to start texting on our pink phones. Only magazine editors should be thinking about such things so early.

[AssociatedContent.com: Men's Valentine's Day Gift Guide: The Top 5 Best Lingerie Brands]