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Top 5 Sex Scenes From Horror Movies

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:33:00 GMT

Here's Part One of a list that includes Keanu Reeves, vampires, Susan Sarandon, vampires, the devil, Keanu Reeves, the devil, and some more vampires.

Hey, horror's got a few good ideas and they're all recycled like Tipper Gore's vibrator batteries... or something equally irrelevant to this post.

5. Bram Stoker's Dracula. While this Keanu Reeves-Gary Oldman-Winona Ryder film directed by Francis Ford Coppola is well known, it's difficult to find sex scenes or even clips from it on YouTube or anywhere else. The film is nearly complete on YouTube, but with only this sequence intact and not the famous scene where Reeves is molested by a couple of hot, naked vampires. A tragic discovery, to be sure.

Another clip can be found here.

4. The Hunger. Ah yes, one of the most popular sex scenes of all-time, here for 432nd time. But would we have been forgiven for leaving out nude action involving Susan Sarandon and Catherine Denueve? Doubtful.

Hunger

3. Angel Heart. Remember the days before Mickey Rourke was a washed-up boxer? We don't remember them either, but how can we forget the most controversial sex scene of the 1980s, from this cult horror flick set in New Orleans that involved one of the Cosby girls. Say goodbye to network TV respectability with us...

Angel Heart

2. The Devil's Advocate. We may never understand why this gem (that's putting it lightly) of a sex scene is left off almost every list of the greats. Perhaps it disturbs some when they find out (SPOILERS!) that Keanu and Connie are siblings-- at least according to Satan, who would know. Bonus: two hot chicks, hallucinations, and the fires of hell-- don't miss this!

1. Embrace of the Vampire. Although you won't hear any arguments from us that #2 is the superior scene, we're putting this up in the top spot for pure raunch and "Unrated" hotness. In fact, if Alyssa Milano had never done Who's The Boss?, we think most guys would still know who she is, thanks to this ridiculous vampire sex film. Enjoy the scene embedded here and then feel free to poke around Metacafe for other clips from the movie.

Alysia Milano Sex Scene

More coming in a few weeks in Part Two... suggestions are always welcome...

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Sloppy Seconds: Janet Miss Jackson If You're Nasty Hit Hard by the Recession

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:11:00 GMT

In case you were wondering (um, we weren't... at all) Oprah is "absolutely not" interested in Obama's old job. [FadedYouth]

We couldn't agree more with what Drew Barrymore had to say about being single: "I'm not in the wrong relationship and it's great!" [Yahoo!]

Is Haley Joel Osment drawing penises (and occasionally boobs) all over people's cars? Probably. [DailyIntel]

If we ever end up as housewives it will be against our will and we hope we go out like this woman: she hit her husband with a beer bottle, then chased him with a vacuum as he cleaned up the blood. Not that violence is good, it is not. But going crazy sounds kind-of fun. [APP]

Janet Jackson knows no one can afford her tickets these days and has canceled (er, postponed) her world tour. [Us]

Raven-Symoné: All Grown Up

Emily Farris — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:44:00 GMT

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Kirsten Dunst Off the Deep End

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:49:00 GMT

A very lame-looking Jim Carrey movie based on a superior autobiography opened with a mere $18 million.

Teachers can't keep banging teenagers.

A registered sex offender volunteering at the post office is the reason the Letters to Santa operation was suspended last week. It will be up and running, in a modified version, with enough time for this week's mailings.

The brand of shoe thrown at Bush has since big numbers since the incident.

CNN killed the crawl.

Amy Winehouse is out of the hospital and back out on the streets.

Why is Saudi Arabia forcing an eight-year-old girl to remain married to a fifty-eight-year-old man?

And Kirsten Dunst is, according to the Superficial, trying "to fill the void left by Tara Reid," who recently checked into rehab.

[S]omeone has to become Hollywood's once-aspiring actress who can't keep her face out of the drink. Enter Kirsten Dunst. Here she is drunkenly leaving Bardot last night with her male companion The Cosby Sweater Bandit.

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Top 5 Sex Scenes From the 1980s

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:30:00 GMT

There we plenty of great sex scenes in the 80s... we will certainly be doing a sequel to this list at some point, since there about 1,187 equally worthy clips to show you just from those ten years... hell, even Porky's had a couple of good ones in there...

5. The Hunger. Some will argue this is one of the best sex scenes, period. We can't get over the terrible direction and distracting, awful music. But, hey, it's hard for this not to be hot...

4. Angel Heart. The decade's most controversial sex scene involved-- gulp-- Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet, which caused her TV Dad Bill Cosby to attack her in the media.

3. Devil in the Flesh - known mainly for its inclusion on those memorable lists of legitimiate theatrically-released movies featuring actual on-screen sex, this film is very difficult to find except from Mr. Skin and whatnot. We've seen it, but we didn't want to pay to download it just for this post, so here's a link and, below, a screenshot:

2. Cat People... with six-and-a-half minutes of clips from the movie... no graphic sex here, although there is some in the film (if only we could find it on the 'net.)

1. Fast Times At Ridgemont High. As if this needs an intro... you already know which scene we're referring to...

Related:

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New Gemma Arterton Sex Scene Steams Us Up For Bond 22

Giada De Laurentiis: "I'm Not Doing Porn"

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Older Lovers

Jamie Bell's First Sex Scene Marred By Boner

Keshia Knight-Pulliam Goes From Rudy Huxtable to Rudy Ho-xtable

Katie Halper — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Keshia Knight Pulliam, who played the adorable Rudy Huxtable on The Cosby Show is all grown up. And like so many former child stars, she's turned to turning tricks.

Knight Pulliam will play "Candy" a locked-up prostitute in Tyler Perry's play-turned-film Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail. Where did Heathcliff and Claire go wrong?

While You Were Sleeping: Michelle Rodriguez Talked About Her Vagina, Sex With Dogs

Emily Farris — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:13:00 GMT

The New York Times accidentally published a reporter's "terribly misspelled notes." But hey, we're lucky to get the first and last letter of a word down during a phone interview. Or ntes usuallly lok a lttl smthng ike this. [Wonkette]

Little Rudy Huxtable is going to play a hooker in the upcoming Tyler Perry movie. Remember when she rubbed cream on her chest to try and make her boobs come in? Yeah, where can we get some of that? [Yahoo!]

Pope Benedict XVI met with sex abuse victims. [NYT]

Some people have way too much time on their hands; we sometimes wish we were one of them. [Netorama]

We don't know if we've ever been more tempted to move back to the Midwest. A children's book explaining Mommy's plastic surgery? [Jezebel]

Another reason to move back to the Midwest would be experiencing shit like this first hand: an accidental pairing of a gun show billboard next to a gun safety PSA billboard. [Plog]

Michelle Rodriguez is as gay as Ashlee Simpson is pregnant: you may think you know, but she's not telling. And she'd like to let you (or us) know you're an asshole for even wondering. On people trying to "out her": "I picture them turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off. I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog—that's my business. That's why there's bathroom doors." Gee, she's about as fun as Ana Lucia. [GabbyBabble]

The Ivory Coasters Like Big Butts and They Cannot Lie

Emily Farris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:29:00 GMT

Ivory Coasters? Ivorians? Anyway, they like big butts. And they cannot lie about it. Especially DJ's Mix and Eloh, whose new hit "Bobaraba," which means "big bottom" in the local Djoula language, praises big derrieres. Their mix has inspired local women to not only appreciate their God-given big asses, but to try and make them even bigger.

How might one make her ass bigger, you ask? We, too are curious about this, because believe it or not, we wouldn't mind a little extra junk in our trunk (to at least round it out a bit). But, sadly, the "treatements" seem about as likely to work as boob cream. Remember that episode of "The Cosby Show" when Rudy rubbed cream on her chest to make her boobs bigger? That kind of cream, along with B12 injections, is what's on the market.

"You need to inject this liquid into your bottom once a day," says a market trader, showing a vial of coloured liquid labelled "Vitamin B12".

Each vial costs $2. The label claims it is made in China.

If you do not like the sound of injections, the same amount of money will also get you a small tub of cream.

There is no description of what the product contains or how to apply it; just the words "Big bottoms and big breasts", and two illustrating pictures.

We wonder if the DJ's are getting a kick-back from the boob cream companies. We'll stick with lunges, thanks.

[BBC News: Ivory Coast's 'big-bottom' craze]

(Thanks, Caitlin!)