Scanner : the view

Sloppy Seconds: Did Barbara Walters Out Whoopi Goldberg?

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:02:00 GMT

Because Paris Hilton absolutely needs more puppies. [People]

We've heard that women reach their fertile peak at 27 but maybe that's actually the case for men, too. A new study has shown that children of older fathers have lower IQ scores than those with younger fathers. In contrast, children born to older mothers scored higher on the same tests. This really is the year of the cougar! [Reuters]

Two cheepskate brothers have been exchanging the same birthday card for 36 years. At this point, why even waste money on postage? Just send an ecard, dudes. [Colorado Springs Gazette]

Did Barbara Walters out Whoopi Goldberg on The View last week? Was she already out? Did anyone even notice? Does anyone really care at this point? [VIDEO: AfterEllen]

Related:

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills

Christian Bale's Rage: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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Republican Spawn Will Taunt and Taint Our Nation's Hope

Emily Farris — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:04:00 GMT

At the top of The View this morning, Elisabeth Hasselbeck shared some very, very breaking news.

She's pregnant... again!

What's this, baby number 18 in three years or something? We can't believe she'd actually bring a baby into a world where a liberal Black man is president. But maybe she's trying to start her own little Ayran militia here in the States.

What are we saying? We're jerks. What we meant to say was: every baby is a blessing from God. Congratulations, Hasselbeck!

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Who Would You Rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Ann Coulter?

Caption This: "The View" Gets Political

Update on That Girl Who IM'd Her Dad About Losing Virginity

Colleen Kane — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

A story spread over the Internet that a young lady named Lizzy Frisinger sent her dad an instant message about losing her virginity, thinking she was messaging a friend. It was picked up by The View, The Today Show, and the Tonight Show.

We can all identify with the horror of sending off a personal text or email to the wrong person, although how this story was leaked to the media wasn't so clear.

Now it can be told:

It was a hoax, from the same folks who cooked up the Trump-tips-10K hoax, on a photo blog called The Chive, with a logo and slogan very similar to that of The Onion."Lizzie" was played by actress Janna Beth, girlfriend of hoaxer John Resig. What do they have to say for themselves? "You don’t have to worry about us pulling this again. The Chive is a photo blog, not a news source."

Today in WTF: Virginity Pledges Actually Work?

22-Year-Old Woman Auctions Off Virginity On Howard Stern

Shirley Nagel: The Wicked Witch of Halloween

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:51:00 GMT

Meet Shirley Nagel. She decided, that on Halloween, she would only hand out candy to children of parents who supported her choice for President.

Oh her door hung a sign that read, "No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters."

When asked by a reporter about the kids that would leave empty handed and in tears she replied, "Oh well, everybody has a choice."

Well, Ms. Nagel, we listened to Rush Limbaugh when we were 13—that wasn't really a choice. And look how we turned out.

Watch the video of the scariest thing to happen to Halloween since Elisabeth Hasselbeck dressed up as Ronald Reagan here.

[MyFox Detroit: No Treats for Obama Supporters]

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

While You Were Sleeping: Janet Jackson Hospitalized

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Sloppy Seconds: The Naked Lesbian Bubble Bath

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 21:36:00 GMT

Barbara Walters hit on-- oh God, make it stop-- Michael Phelps.

McCain continues to close in on Obama in the popular vote... at least according to CNN and other journalists desperate for an angle. Meanwhile, Obama is way ahead in the Electoral College. (By the way, don't miss this newly-resurfaced story from the Chicago Tribune, published in 2006, about the chances of an Obama Presidential bid... and the glorious response, in its comments section.)

The Strollerderby shattered a myth about your boobs... letting us know that a new study

disproves the popular conception that nursing results in sagging breasts - a condition technically known as breast ptosis.
The real causes of sagging breasts, according to the researchers, are far less noble: increased age, higher BMI, number of pregnancies, bigger pre-pregnancy cup size, and smoking.

JuicyCampus.com, a controversial gossip site, may be getting banned at Georgetown.

There was a "naked lesbian bubble bath" on America's Next Top Model last night. Of course, ANTM does not air on HBO, so nothing to see here, move along.

After all that, Denise Richards isn't being put out to pasture.

And that nutjob who carved the "B" (backwards!) into her own face and said Obama did it is going to join R.P. McMurphy and The Chief.

While You Were Sleeping: More Pregnant Celebrities

Top 10 Celebrity Moms Who Could Be Hookers

Men's Health Should Worry More About Men's Sanity

Sloppy Seconds: Phillies Fan Gives Her Team A Big Boost

Caption This: "The View" Gets Political

Emily Farris — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:53:00 GMT

The women of The View dressed up as U.S. Presidents for Friday's pre-recorded Halloween show. And, yeah, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is dressed as Ronald Reagan.

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Who Would You Rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Ann Coulter?

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:01:00 GMT

We're really sorry to do this to you, but it's not like either of these conservative women is conventionally unattractive. So, if you had to pick one, who would you rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck or Ann Coulter?

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Ann Coulter is a Man, Baby (According to Some Guy and a Computer)

Ann Coulter: Hillary More Conservative Than McCain

Ow, My Eyes! "Ann Coulter Lite" Is Anti-Everything We Hold Awesome

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Emily Farris — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:33:00 GMT

At a rally in Tampa, FL yesterday The View's resident Republican and woman we love to hate, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, introduced Sarah Palin and her accessories including, but not limited to, her "priceless" flag pin and her special-needs child.

It's not pretty. If you can handle nearly ten minutes of Hasselbeck's tortured metaphors, click on through. Or wait until you can get home and pour yourself a drink. We had to watch this in two minute shifts with a shot of whiskey in between each.

P.S. The Anchorage Daily News endorsed Obama yesterday, too. That is all. Thanks.

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

Sloppy Seconds: Has Colin Powell Finally Made Up His Mind?

Sloppy Seconds: The Baldwins on Gay Marriage and the Unfortunate Pairing of Heidi Montag and Britney Spears

While You Were Sleeping: Janet Jackson Hospitalized

Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Sloppy Seconds: Has Colin Powell Finally Made Up His Mind?

Emily Farris — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:09:00 GMT

So, Madonna's directorial debut comes out right as she divorces her director husband? Is that, like, the equivalent of sleeping with his best friend? [NYT]

The lead singer of the Four Tops, Levi Stubbs, is dead at 72. [Yahoo!]

We imagine this guy will vote against the McCain/Palin ticket after Sarah Palin tried to take away his skate park. [MTV]

Joe Biden will appear on Ellen Degeneres' show to talk about his opposition to Proposition 8. But proposition 8 will overturn California's law that overturned the ban on gay marriage, right?. So... he supports gay marriage? We think. We're so confused by all of this. [Queerty]

What we wouldn't give to see Kathy Griffin and Elisabeth Hasselbeck duke it out on TV. [Defamer]

Could it be that Colin Powell is about to come out in support of Obama? And if our mom says she'd vote for Powell and not Obama, will this change her mind? Here's hoping! [NYDN]

Related:

Colin Powell To Back Obama?

While You Were Sleeping: Colin Powell To Endorse?

Colin Powell Shakes That Ass in London

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

Emily Farris — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:23:00 GMT

We would absolutely agree that Eminem was the best rapper in "Eight Mile." We even stood up and cheered at the end... but the best rapper in the world? [FadedYouth]

We have a much easier time believing that Halle Berry is the sexiest woman in the world. [Yahoo!]

We're also surprisingly happy that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together; mostly because we know how much break ups suck. [People]

Howard Stern married his girlfriend Beth Ostrosky. [MTV]

Is somebody going to knock Elisabeth Hasselbeck off any time soon? Off The View, people! Off The View! [MollyGood]

"I don't have a problem discussing the topic of somebody being gay, but I do have a problem discussing my personal life," Queen Latifah told Sunday's New York Times magazine. [Us]

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:59:00 GMT

Melissa Etheridge plans to marry her long-time love, Tammy Lynn Michaels. [Us]

Phish will reunite for a 2009 tour. We didn't know they broke up, but yay for Phisheads. [MTV]

If, like us, your invitation to Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds' wedding got lost in the mail, you can read all about it here. [People]

And apparently Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are planning to marry, too. [FadedYouth]

Not only is Robert Downey, Jr. the perfect choice to play Hugh Hefner, he's apparently also perfect to play Sherlock Holmes. [Yahoo!]

Watch Sarah Palin play the flute. Or not. [Radar]

Or, watch Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Barbara Walters argue over Palin. Honesty, it's more fun. [MollyGood]

We hate cigarettes as much as—or more than-the next guy (or gal), but we're a little miffed that the cigarette was removed from this iconic image of Bette Davis from "All About Eve" for her postage stamp. [NFDHD]

Related:

Who Are You and What Have You Done With Robert Downey, Jr?

Sloppy Seconds: Fake Sex Ruined The Real Thing for Robert Downey, Jr. and Heather Graham

Who Will Play Playboy Hugh Hefner in the Story of His Life?

Bette Davis Eyes: 41 Cents

The Miramax Telethon: Has Anything Good Ever Won An Oscar?

While You Were Sleeping: Janet Jackson Hospitalized

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:54:00 GMT

Flea is taking a break from the Chili Peppers; he's headed for higher ground at USC.

A judge tossed the infamous lawsuit that alleged New York's Ladies Nights discriminate against men..

Is The View falling apart? Barbara Walters has called a staff meeting on account of... who else?

With the rumor mill buzzing that a discontent Elisabeth Hasselbeck may vacate her cushiony seat on The View for the cool, hard Eames chair of Fox News, it's up to den mother Barbara Walters to restore order on the set of her chat show. True to form, Walters has eschewed hugging it out in favor of a more clinical approach; according to the Chicago Sun-Times, she's had to schedule a staff meeting to deal with the increasingly hot-under-the-collar Hasselbeck. [Defamer]

If this e-mail rumor turns out to be true, it would mean Barack Obama will win the Presidency.

Jesse Ventura's new reality show? Yep, the man who was last seen speaking at Ron Paul's RNC counter-rally, is working on a show about conspiracy theories.

Even bears don't want to go anywhere near hospital waiting rooms these days.

Heath Ledger's insurance company is not letting this thing go quietly.

And Janet Jackson "fell ill" during a soundcheck in Montreal last night and has been in the hospital, with an undisclosed or undiagnosed ailment since then. No other details have been made available. Janet is 42 years old...

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

Arkansas Televangelist Busted For Child Sex Acts

McCain Sabotages His Own Attempt To Save The Nation

BREAKING: John McCain Suspends His Campaign

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Is there even more "Sex and the City" in our future? [Us]

If you're just dying to hear Britney Spears' new single "Womanizer," here: [Radar]

Thank the God in heaven (who we don't really believe in): Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving The View (that we don't really watch) for Fox News (which we absolutely don't watch). [PopCrunch]

Is there trouble in Olsen Twin paradise? But not double trouble (har, har). [MollyGood]

Cynthia Nixon is very pleased with Brad Pitt these days. [People]

"It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win," according to Woody Allen. [Yahoo!]

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Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Our not-so-slutty sister thinks that vetting Sarah Palin is like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but funnier. We would like to take this opportunity to disclose that we have not been fully vetted. [FameCrawler]

At least she passes Elisabeth Hasselbeck's test with flying colors, because you know it's super complicated and makes lots of sense. [MollyGood]

Will celebrities please stop throwing things? First it was Russell Crowe with his cell phone, then Naomi Campbell. Now Akon, probably best known for "Smack That," is facing criminal charges after being accused of throwing a fan off of stage — and we're not talking about the small appliance. [Yahoo!]

If you're a shitty asshole who would like to hunt down women who've had abortions, you may be in luck. Abortion Tracker claims to have a record of every woman who's had an abortion since 1940 and they'll make the list available to you for one easy paymennt of $799. [Jezebel]

Anne Hathaway apparently loaned her businessman ex hundreds of thousands of dollars before the couple split earlier this summer, proving that even rich guys can be loser bums (except, we actually already knew that). [Starpulse]

Even though they ganked our feature, we have to give it to dListed for catching this who would you rather: Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife, Beth? Um, can we vote for the dog? [dListed]

Of all the people in the world we'd like to tell to "fuck off," Elton John doesn't even come close to making the list. Not so for Lilly Allen who drunkently disrepescted the singer at the GQ Men of the Year Awards. [MTV]

‘Army Wives’ Have Firm Code Against Uninvited Boob-Honking

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Via THE REMOTE ISLAND: Oh, the scintillating interview stylings of The View crew. “Tell me about that thing you told us backstage.” “Okay, great, now tell us about that other thing you told us backstage!” Kim Delaney’s elevator tale wasn’t so great. But then Catherine Bell told us about her trip to Japan…

Read more...

Sloppy Seconds: How Christina Will Maintain Her Ginormous Breasts

Emily Farris — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:12:00 GMT

We enjoyed Courtney Cox's show Dirt, the few times we saw it. Too bad, though, it's been canceled. [Fox News]

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are doing just fine, thank you very much. [Us]

Yes, showing your dick in the "Sex and the City" movie sure will open a lot of doors — in your career, of course.. [Yahoo!]

Raising a baby chimp might actually be a good way to figure out if you really want kids. [Telegraph]

Diddy—who might like to be referred to as Puff Daddy, again and would also like to be the Black Bruce Willis — really wants to meet the Queen of England. [People]

Is that really R. Kelly in the infamous R. Kelly sex tape? (By the way, has anyone actually seen it?) [MTV]

The View might be our favorite show we never watch. The internet clips will do, including this one of Regis Philbin's recent appearance which led to shenanigans on live TV. [MollyGood]

Christina Aguilera plans to breastfeed her son Max until he's two, in order to maintain her E-cup breast size as long as possible. [GabbyBabble]

Sloppy Seconds: Kirsten Dunst Goes Off The Deep End

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 May 2008 21:17:00 GMT

Relax, everyone, Halle Berry is not engaged to her baby daddy Gabriel Aubry. (P.S. ...yet.) Thank God, since she's one of the last hotties still almost not-quite available; as for Beyonce, she may be pregnant... and we heard she might be married.

Perhaps inspired by the Barbara Walters book and her startling reveleations, other elderly people are getting in on the dated-a-future-famous-person memoir. And we might actually read it.

MTV wants you to "meet" the R. Kelly jury. What do we care? He's going to get off, one way or another...

Kathie Lee Gifford is back and pissed that The View is more tolerable than her own show.

And finally, have a great weekend, but try not to have the weekend Kirsten Dunst will have:

[She] was allegedly seen drinking and dancing with pals - including The Strokes' Fabrizio Moretti - at a local bar. A source tells U.S. magazine Star, "She got worse as the night went on. She started out pretty chilled, but hours later she was dancing and jumping like a crazed animal. She indulged in any guy who would have her attention. She also went up to several guys and started flirting with them hard-core. She was just completely out of it. It was obvious that whatever happened in rehab didn't stick." [IMDB]

Sloppy Seconds: Ben Affleck's "Big Regret" Involves JLo's Big Booty

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:46:00 GMT

A biologist who discovered a new arachnid named the new species of trapdoor spider after his favorite musician. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. [Yahoo!]

The View's Joy Behar wants to feel the knob, but draws the line at licking the knob. [Jezebel]

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are apparently "really into each other." [Us]

Little Matilda Rose Ledger looks more and more like her daddy everyday. We don't know if this will be a good thing when she's all grown up, but for now she's so freaking cute. [FameCrawler]

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are either engaged or they're not. [Hello!]

Tila Tequila is on the cover of "Blender" probably because her single "Stripper Friends" is a big hit with the kids these days? Oh wait, we've never heard it. [Hollywood Tuna]

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is "boring," but she looks hot on the cover of GQ, even if it is Photoshopped. [E!]

When talking about his past relationship with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck said his "one big regret" was that he appeared the video for her single "Jenny From the Block" in which he rubbed suntan lotion on her booty. Funny, we imagine that would be most men's big goal. [GabbyBabble]

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Sloppy Seconds: Which Sex and the City Star Had Breast Cancer, For Real?

Emily Farris — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:28:00 GMT

A very blonde woman who is divorcing her rich husband aired her dirty laundry on YouTube, and while we kind-of think it's wrong, we kind-of love it. [BoingBoing]

Is the Marilyn Monroe sex tape a hoax? Say it ain't so! [Fleshbot]

A young Christian TV host came out. Isn't it sad that he "knows" this will end his career in Christian television? [Jossip]

Cindy McCain is going to guest co-host The View on Monday. We wonder if she'll do her own make-up. [Yahoo!]

Will Gisele Bundchen star in the next Austin Powers? There's going to be another Austin Powers. Oh, fine. [DailyStab]

Kim Cattrall's character Samantha may have battled breast cancer on Sex and the City, but it was Cynthia Nixon who had it (and beat it) in real life. Nixon didn't want paparazzi at the hospital, so she kept her diagnosis private. Plus, everyone was too worried about her lezzing it up to care about her health. Whew! [US Weekly]

Barbara Walters to Kim Kardashian: Why Are You Famous?

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:01:00 GMT

We were just thinking the same thing, actually. Other than being Crazy. Sexy. Fun. with your mom, of course.

Sloppy Seconds: The Baldwins on Gay Marriage and the Unfortunate Pairing of Heidi Montag and Britney Spears

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:39:00 GMT

Alec Baldwin is apparently fine with his born-again Christian brother Stephen's views on gay marriage. We, on the other hand, are not so fine with this creepy picture of the Baldwin brothers.

Will The View''s Elisabeth Hasselbeck just shut the hell up already? Gloria Steinem is evil? Really, Elisabeth? We know it's The "View" and all, but you're not helping women here.

Perhaps we were too quick to diagnose Amy Winehouse with The Herp. Turns out it's probably impetigo, a highly contagious bacterial skin infection that generally affects infants and children.

We listened so you didn't have to: The Hills' Heidi Montag and US Weekly's Britney Spears recorded a song (if you want to call it that) together. Titled "Dramatic," it debuted on Ryan Seacrest's morning show today. If that link doesn't work for you (Mac users) you can try this one. If, after listening for about nine seconds, you want to stab your ears out with a rusty screwdriver, you're not alone.

Oscar's Whoopi Snub: Sign Of The Academy's Non Racism

Katie Halper — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:27:00 GMT

Whoopi Goldberg got all Feklempt (as we "Goldbergs" like to say) over not being part of the Academy Awards' montage of the 80 most exciting Oscars moments, as evidenced in this clip from The View. Her co-hosts tried to sympathize, but their Academy-accusing "Where was Whoopi" enabled Whoopi's misguided self-pity. Sherri Sherpherd was stumped by the omission and told Whoopi "You were the first Black woman to host the Oscars, you were the first woman to host the Oscars." She even mocked the Academy, saying "it's not very hard to figure out who hosted the Oscars four times." Joy Behar added, "You did make history."

That's sweet girls. But Whoopi's diss should be celebrated and not condemned. Because it is a symbol of the Academy's post-racist enlightened state. You see, Whoopi and the ladies on The View may care that Goldberg was the second black actress to win an academy award and the first black female to host the show. But the Academy sees past color. Actually, much like myself and Steven Colbert, the Academy is color blind and doesn't see color at all. The Academy is so evolved, it sees past gender too, and is genitals-blind. Besides, if we learned anything from last night's Oscars, it's that there are way too many exciting moments to keep track of. Besides, Whoopi shouldn't feel bad. It's not that the Academy doesn't like her. The omission was, in the words of the show's producer, "an absolute oversight." See, Whoopi, you didn't piss anyone off. They just don't remember you. And can you really blame the Academy? Who could remember Whoopi's forgettable costumes and self effacing antics?

Do They Swear on The View? F*ck Yes, They Do!

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 15:16:00 GMT

This is probably the funniest thing we've ever seen on The View. Actually, this is probably the only funny thing we've seen on The View. The gals seem to be having a blast throwing around that fuck-bomb. Sounds like music to our ears, ladies.