Scanner : topless photos

Video of Jessica Biel Nude Scenes in Powder Blue, Compiled!

Drew Grant — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:33:00 GMT

Jessica Biel may be too busy crunching her abs or making sweet, sweet love to Justin Timberlake to comment on the apparently excessive nudity featured in her new film, Powder Blue, but that didn't stop some genius from putting together a montage of all Biel's best "acting," moments in the Christma-hooker drama. Watch her strip to Cat Power (no seriously, Biel got duped into starring in my freshman year boyfriend's Cinema 101 project), after the jump.

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Oh, So They Really Weren't Kidding About Carrie Prejean Being Topless

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:50:00 GMT

At last... we have Carrie Prejean boob photos.

There are far more than the originally-promised ten, these are definitely pre-implants, and they are all professional shots of Carrie Prejean topless-- all of which disputes her initial assertion that there was only one photo, they were when she was 17 (you can tell by her face that she's old enough), and these weren't some casual bathroom pics given to a friend's talent scout or whatever.

Unfortunately, some moron released them to TMZ instead of us (or at least The Dirty), so they are all censored like the one above.

By the way, Donald Trump will announce... well, right around the time you're probably reading this... whether or not Carrie gets to keep her crown.

Via awful, lame-ass TMZ.com.

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Michael Phelps Still Celebrating With Strippers, Probably Hitting the Hash Pipe

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 15:27:00 GMT

Michael Phelps appears to be content to vanish into a haze of canned beer stink and vaporized marijuana in the city of Baltimore, Maryland.

Today, one of his sex partners (we hesitate to use the term "ex-girlfriend," since the only real date they had was a "special value meal" together at Taco Bell), a stripper named Theresa White (we're guessing the 25-year-old Latin bombshell is using an alias) spoke with News of the World about the orgies, drugs, junk food, and best of all, the three-hour marathon sex sessions with the Olympian...

Her scandalous allegations about the multiple-gold winner include:

-she actually picked him up one night when they were drunk at her strip club. She staggered over and asked him if he wanted to take anyone in the club home with him and he said "you" and pointed to two other girls. Eventually, a threesome was arranged, apparently Phelps' first. It's good to be the King Stoner.

-Phelps spends all his money in (illegal?) online gambling rooms, where he hopes to one day become a champion, his new goal in life

-never took her out on a real date, unless you count Taco Bell, which we believe 100%

-hates Spaniards

-had sex with her for more than three hours and "should be given a gold medal for lovemaking," according to White, who also offhandedly mentions she has 34D boobs

-okay, we made up the Spaniards one

-has a harem of at least five or six women he considers "easy lays" in the Baltimore area

-has a major chewing tobacco habit and his house smells like ass-- and not the good kind

Phelps, it's time to clean up your act. There will be many more women angry with you and willing to soil the public image you cherish so deeply...

Via News of the World.

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Second Carrie Prejean Topless Photo Released... Will This Nightmare Ever End?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 May 2009 14:46:00 GMT

After days of torture, America's nightmare drought of covered-up topless photos of hypocrtic beauty pageant losers/winners is finally over: TheDirty put up a photo of Carrie Prejean, which we have here (you're going to be disappointed, we guarantee it), which immediately resulted in ridiculous controversy...

Our first reaction: isn't this just a reverse image of the first one? But no, it's from the same session... but remarkably horrible quality, especially when paired up, as above, with the initial photo. This might have something to do with why no one's sure about its validity:

But a rep for Prejean told Access Hollywood the photo is not her. The rep acknowledged that photo shows Prejean’s head, but that “it appears to have been Photoshopped.”

The rep went on to say that Prejean maintains that one photo was taken during that session, “as far as she can remember.” Her rep noted that the photo was taken four years ago and “her memory might be faulty.”

Prejean’s rep also told Access the photo was taken by a friend of Prejean’s, who sent it to an agent, but that she “can’t remember his name.” The rep said they believe the agent might be responsible for releasing the photo to TheDirty.com.

According to her rep, Prejean has contacted the Web site and asked them to stop using her photo.

TheDirty claims it was never contacted by Prejean, has not spoken with anyone's "agent," and the photo is not Photoshopped. On that last one, we have to ask how can they be sure? The quality is beyond atrocious-- it could be a fake, a very good one at that, for all anyone knows.

But one thing is for sure-- if there are more of these to come, Prejean's claims that a) she was 17 at the time, making these child porn (she sure doesn't look 17-- although, wow, it's safe to say the woman pictured above is 20 times better looking than cross-eyed and fake-breasted Miss California) and b) she only had one photo taken? Those kinds of claims are going to help TheDirty's case and the pageant officials in their quest to strip you of your crown.

P.S. Honestly-- who takes off their top for a modeling photo and only takes one shot? She is definitely lying.

Via The Dirty.

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Lydia Hearst Bares Her B-Cups

Drew Grant — Fri, 08 May 2009 13:38:00 GMT

I almost wish that the Hearst touted by our generation was the gun-slinging Patty, what with her self-referential mocking in John Waters' films and badass history with Stockholm syndrome. But instead we get her daughter: Beautiful, brainless Lydia. She may be prettier to look at, but you'd never see her mother posing naked in Italian GQ or making a cameo in Gossip Girl unless she was making a wry political statement. In any case, here are some photos of the second best Hearst woman, without a shirt.

(Via)

AZ Gov. Candidate Posts Topless Photo of His Roommate on Flickr

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 16:33:00 GMT

John Paul Mitchell, 30, teaches yoga and is studying for his doctorate at the University of Sedona. He is not your typical Republican candidate, particularly since he is running against a newly-ascended state leader, Jan Brewer, who took over for Democrat Janet Napolitano when Napolitano accepted a cabinet post. He also isn't your typical politician-- he maintains a Flickr account, which he updates with campaign and personal photos on the same page.

Normally, this would be no big deal... until a photo of a topless woman appeared on the page.

Mitchell claims that the photo, which was deleted before we could at least see it and tell you what it looked like, is of Mitchell's female roommate. The candidate, who has a girlfriend, says the flatmates share an account on the site and that she posted it and meant to make it private, but forgot to. Or something. It all sounds a bit suspicious-- too many lapses in judgment for that to happen. Obviously, it sounds like he took an illicit picture of his roommate, a woman he admits to sleeping with in the past, and posted it to what he thought was a private, blocked-off area of his Flickr account. Not saying she didn't consent, but that's possible.

In any case, he had to play damage control in the news media all day yesterday:

Why would she post topless photos to the Flickr account?

Because she has hundreds of photographs on there. She uploads pictures from family gatherings, to vacations, to self-taken pictures. What she does in the privacy of our home or elsewhere is her personal business.

Again, the picture was meant to be flagged as private and not viewable by the public.

Why do you have a shared account?

Because I initially set it up for my use, but later allowed her to use the Flickr account to have an online storage space for her photography.

Did you and the woman ever date or have a romantic relationship?

Yes, at one point, we were involved romantically. However, we made a mutual agreement that it was best we remain only friends. Our friendship is going on its sixth year and we consider each other best friends.

At this point, the woman has yet to speak out. One has to wonder what her take on all this is-- is she embarrassed into silence or being asked by the candidate not to comment, for fear of keeping the story going? Or is she secretly furious about the photo ending up on his Flickr account? His account, by the way, can be seen here.

Via AZ Central.

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While You Were Sleeping: Nudist Hotel

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:19:00 GMT

A new series on Hollywood film directors appears tonight and it looks pretty good, if you're into that sort of thing.

Donald Trump says a decision on Miss California will come today-- as The Dirty prepares to followup with a second topless photo.

The X-Men movies are being spun off into a new series of stories starring, ugh, Ryan Reynolds.

Ladies, where were you? Nate Silver went to a party and had to stand there... all alone.

A forty-five-year-old woman may become the oldest person to have a boxing championship title.

Germany is planning its first nudist hotel.

Feministing discussed the attacks on Carrie Prejean and whether they are justified or just mean ol' "slut shaming."

Kiefer Sutherland will be charged with misdemeanor assault for head-butting a designer who decked Brooke Shields.

And Katy Perry once got (fake) married in Vegas.

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BBC's Topless Ambition

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:29:00 GMT

Kirsten O'Brien just did a documentary called Kirsten's Topless Ambition for BBC3, which is all about her boobs. More specifically, the documentary discusses the question that has been bugging women in the entertainment industry for years: should I take my boobs out for a wank mag like FHM or keep getting stuck in this Grade-Z TV rut?

O'Brien had been working as the host of a kids show for over 10 years when she took a look around her and realized that all of her female friends in the business were making it big and she was being left behind. As O'Brien told the British press:

"Over the years, it's something I've watched women do, and it's fascinated me.

"Now I'm at a career crossroads and that's the usual point in which women do a shoot, when they say 'I want to get out of kids telly, what do I do? I know, I'll get me swimsuit on and get me la las out'," she says, laughing raucously.

Instead of taking her, uh, "la las out," O'Brien had herself tailed by a camera crew and debacles like this one were captured for posterity:

She dances for the nightclub owner in an attempt to prove she can stop laughing long enough to look good on the podium.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn't go well.

"That was quite interesting! I embraced the challenge of it, there's no point forming an opinion on something unless you've explored it a little bit," she explains.

"The girls I met were lovely too, really friendly and helpful. That's not to say I could do anything by the end of it!

"What's not explained in the documentary is when you see me run upstairs to do my dance for Peter Stringfellow, I've got the most ridiculous tutu on. I was trying to figure out what to wear, and someone said 'Peter's here and he can't wait' so I had to run upstairs, wearing the tutu, but still with with my jogging bottoms on underneath.

"I did want to try properly, I didn't want to mess about, so when Peter started laughing at me I was upset," she continues.

"There was one point when I shouted at him, 'Peter, man, you're not taking this seriously' but he carried on laughing. So much so that I decided to stop.

"I did genuinely try, although it might not look like I did!" [Chester Chronicle]

Sounds like going naked isn't for everyone. Then again, we need some girls-next-door that aren't taking their clothes off to develop crushes on. We can't have all the girls be half-naked because that would take the fun out of wishing they would all get naked.

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The Art of the Nude Supermodel

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

Russell James is the supermodel's photographer. He has worked for Sports Illustrated, Vogue, and Marie Claire and photographed pretty much every "name" model on the planet, including Gisele Bundchen, seen above on the cover of James' new book.

The photographer is particularly known for his nude snaps, many of which you've seen time and again on Scanner...

The 300-page self-titled book is the result of ten years of great art from the former host of VH-1's The Shot. James himself was unavailable for comment at press time to comment, but we know from reading press about him in the past that he is currently documenting the Aborigines in Australia and directing televison commericals for Victoria's Secret and others.

Here's something to tide you over before your copy arrives. In order: Adriana Lima (her second photo here may not be in the book, but you won't mind), Heidi Klum, and Karolina Kurkova.

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Top 5 Nude Beaches in North America

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:43:00 GMT

If you're gay or just want to see a bunch of naked men making out, tanning, splashing each other, or just plain frolicking in the sun, OutTraveler has the list for you.

And if you're a lady person and just want to let it all hang out among guys who probably won't take your picture and put it on NudeBeachCam.com or whatever, you'll want to know where the hot spots are...

Theirs is a Top 5 list, beginning with the only entry for an ocean beach in the continental United States: unfortunately, it's in Miami...

1. Haulover Beach, Miami. Apparently, this is the only nude beach in Flordia and arguably one of the country's finest of any kind. Pro: Lots of good looking people. Con: It's in Miami, for God's sake. Not only that, it's a mob scene virtually from the crack of dawn to after the cops toss everyone off the beach.

2. Hippie Hollow, Austin. We were surprised to learn there was a nude beach in Austin and even more surprised to learn that Texas police haven't raided it with rubber bullets yet. Pro: "Over a hundred swimming holes, a gay-adored beach, and impressive climbing crags beckon from the star of Texas." Con: "The gay section is about 15 minutes walk to the left from the parking lot." Then again, that kind of distance between you and the rest of the local bathers could be a "pro."

3. Hanlan’s Point, Toronto. We don't often think "nude beach" and "Canada" go together, but this entry convinces us. Pro: The fifteen-minute ferry to the beach has an amazing view of the city and, at 6.50CA, is the only thing you'll have to spend money on to get to the sand. Also, water quality is monitored constantly and is usually excellent. Con: You have to wait for it to get hot enough. In Canada.

4. Little Beach, Makena, Maui, Hawaii. Up a trail in the hills of Maui, this island hideaway has one major catch: it's illegal to go naked anywhere in public in Hawaii. Pro: Bragging rights about going naked in Maui-- is there anything that can make your Facebook friends more jealous than to read that status update? Con: Having your hands cuffed behind your back when you're naked-- and not getting any S&M out of it.

5. Wreck Beach, Vancouver. Man, who knew there were so many opportunities to take your clothes off in Canadia Land? Pro: "Naked vendors ply the beach offering water, beer, sandwiches, and a surprising array of narcotics. Ask any student how to get to the access paths that lead down to the water." Better yet, ask a student while you're naked doing a snort of coke off your boyfriend's umbrella tip. Con: Absolutely nothing that we can think of...

By the way, if you're over in the UK, you should know that the country's oldest nude beach will close after this summer, thanks to coastal erosion (i.e. global warming.)

Via OutTraveler.

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Girls, Girls, Girls: World's Greatest Strip Club Reopens, Is Hiring Hundreds of Broads

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

The Body Shop in West Hollywood, California, is the world's top strip club, hands down. It's not about class or style or even decent drink prices. It's about history.

All those historic touchstones were burned away thanks to an electrical fire in 2008, but that hasn't ended owner Salah Almudarris' dream of dominating the entire state's strip club market...

Almudarris reopened his club on Thursday with a reduced staff-- and he claims to be seeking up to 500 strippers (!) to add to his roster. My God, where does he fit them all? With approximately 50 girls dancing a night, each making between several hundred and $1,000, the Body Shop is small but important part of the local economy-- after all, the club doesn't have a liquor license, so customers are encouraged to frequent area bars before stepping inside.

Two key facts before we get to the historic photos: 1) The club was immortalized in that "classic" Motley Crue song Girls, Girls, Girls and 2) Megan Fox fell in love with a stripper here, as reported by every major media outlet last year, including Scanner.

What the...? Dirty old gnome, get your own partially-nude woman...

Via SFGate (right-click to open in new tab/window.)

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Desperate Housewife Calls in the Cops in Nude Photo Blog War

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:10:00 GMT

All week, Real Housewives of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi has been at war with offensive website/blog The Dirty over photos the webmaster has been plastering his pages with. The questionable pics include two of Rossi on the toilet and another of her flashing an unnamed photographer, who happened to be operating a motor vehicle at that moment.

Rossi decided free speech has its limits and called in the sheriff...

Here's what The Dirty posted a few hours after that last photo went up:

**Update: Gretchen Rossi has called the Costa Mexico Police Department on me. The best part is that she lied to the Costa Mexico PD stating that someone stole her camera (again). Gretchen, Tune In Tokyo- it’s not your camera.- nik

Of course, it wasn't just the photos that pissed Rossi off to the point of police intervention. It may have had something to do with this:

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, it seems like Gretchen Rossi has a history of ripping off “older men”. Apparently, she has been named in a law suit where she took advantage of an “older man” in a real-estate transaction, that happened 3-4 years ago. Is this true? Sounds like the same thing that her ex’s family is saying as well, “she is a complete fake and preys on the older guys…..” The story continues with her, the truth will come out!

Can someone email me Michelle’s phone number, Jeff’s ex-wife. I need answers, the DIRTY ARMY needs the truth.- nik

She's probably upset, the Dirty suggests, because the topless photo was taken by one of her many rumored lovers... although, of course, the website offers no conclusive proof.

Via TMZ.

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Lisa Rinna Poses For Playboy At 45, Just For the Hell of It

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:51:00 GMT

Lisa Rinna doesn't need Hugh Hefner's money. The former Melrose Place and Days Of Our Lives star is quite content to do Broadway with her husband and the occasional season of Dancing With the Stars.

But she says she wanted to prove that her body is still great at nearly half a century. What do you think?

Rinna, who is married to actor Harry Hamlin, says her husband encouraged her to show off her body in this month's Playboy. The actress, who has had plastic surgery and botox, didn't need to think it over for too long. And the idea of doing a Mrs. Robinson-inspired shoot with her favorite photographer was icing on the cake:

In 1998, Rinna created a stir when she posed for a nude pictorial while six months pregnant in the September issue of Playboy magazine. She will pose again in 2009. Rinna explains she received direct orders from Playboy photographer Deborah Anderson, who also shot Rinna for the Room 23 book. "She said, 'I do not want you long and sinewy and angular and muscular. I want you soft,' " says Rinna. "This was really hard for me because being 45 years old and posing for Playboy, you want to amp it up," Rinna told People. [Wikipedia]

America's Next Topless Model Is... The Judge

Men Have Been Waiting For These Jessica Biel Topless Photos Since 1997

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:39:00 GMT

Ever since the maturity of Jessica Biel, readers of Maxim and other perpetual droolers have been wondering "when is Jessica Biel gettin naked aready ??!?" Surprisingly, she wasn't holding out for a period piece or an Oscar-worthy performance as a nun-cum-prostitute in a Ron Howard movie.

The lucky winners are the producers of Powder Blue, which apparently boasts nothing else noteworthy, since no one even seems to know what the plot of this film is. Here's what we've retained from reading various blogs, press notes, and reviews: Powder Blue has its theatrical release in two weeks, and four weeks after that, the movie has its DVD release. This movie must be so atrocious that the filmmakers don't even hold out hope it's going to have a substantial box office take after a month.

Click on any of the following set of photos to get a new window, then you'll be able to blow these up to their full glory.

And even though these delightful pictures are easier on the eyes than, say, severely washed-out photos taken in a darkroom, that's exactly what the final cut looks like:

Members of the Perv Club... this is definitely our rental for the June meeting...

Media Fawning All Over Sasha Grey Now That They're Allowed To

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

Sasha Grey's mainstream breakout role in The Girlfriend Experience, playing later this month at the Tribeca Film Festival before a wider release in May, is exciting the elitist media on the east coast. They're all big fans of Grey, which means they've been waiting for years to get her (half?) naked for their magazines while interviewing her on their office couch. Thankfully, Grey is too wise and experienced to fall for their tricks... she ends up coming off as a well-adjusted, well, porn star.

In this week's New York Magazine, Grey talked about playing a Ashley Alexandra Dupre-era prostitute in her first "legitimate" feature film...

How were you cast?
One of Soderbergh’s writers, Brian Koppelman, contacted me through MySpace. I thought it was a joke, because I get a lot of fake offers on MySpace. Then Steven left me a voice mail.

What, as they say, was your motivation?
Steven was really secretive about the character, but he wanted me to bring a natural, uninhibited quality to the film. There’s a lot of scenes where I’m improvising. I sat at home, writing a lot, figuring out who she was. I’d take my notes to Steven.

You don’t actually have sex onscreen.
When I had the first meeting I assumed I would be naked and do a sex scene. Did I think I would do five, like in my adult work? No, but even up to the point where we were shooting, I thought there was going to be at least one sex scene.

That’s usually the first thing actresses clear up in their contracts.
The contract did say that I would be nude. But one of the clauses was [laughing] “You cannot have [real] sex.” To me, that was a pretty funny legality.

I imagine you’d never seen that before?
It was pretty weird. But it was great not to have sex—that would have been too easy. If you want to see me having sex, you can do that! Not doing it shifts the focus, because a lot of clients are there for more than the sex.

What’s your plan?
I’ve got to diversify myself. Do I want to be 35, having sex on-camera? No. I want to be sitting on a fucking porch at my beach house with my own successful company.

Via New York Magazine.

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Padma Lakshmi Suddenly, Surprisingly Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:58:00 GMT

The nude issue of Allure, which is out Tuesday the 21st of April, promises to be a smash success, thanks to the naked presence of Eliza Dushku, Chelsea Handler, Sharon Leal, Lynn Collins, and the hostess with the most sexiness, Padma Lakshmi.

The Top Chef star talked to the magazine about her breasts, her body, and sleeping in the nude-- in that order...

ALLURE: What did you do to prepare for the shoot?
PADMA LAKSHMI: "I exercised a little bit extra, but I actually think I look better when I have a little bit of weight on—my breasts are fuller, and I'm curvier than when I'm at my thinnest."

ALLURE: Are you confident about your body?
PL: "Yes; I like the way I look. I think I look better now than I did in my 20s, because I'm more confident about my body—and I don't want to look like anyone but myself."

ALLURE: Do you sleep naked?
PL: "I tend to sleep in the nude. I'm an innately tactile person and a very sensual-leaning woman. You have to use the word 'leaning' or it sounds like I'm boasting! When I'm in my own private space, I do spend time with very little on."

Emphasis added. Here are some more partial-nudes of Lakshmi from a photo shoot we've only recently discovered...

As we mentioned, Eliza Dushku and others also posed "nude" for the Allure issue...

ALLURE: What about [getting naked] these days?
ED: "I'll strip down to my underwear and my Ugg boots when I eat lunch in my trailer."

Sharon Leal, formerly of Boston Public and Guiding Light, and recently of Dreamgirls, was a bit shaky on the whole nudity thing:

ALLURE: What happened when you dropped the robe?
SL: "I just breathed and said to myself, 'I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful; I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful,' until I didn't have to say that anymore.... It's liberating, but posing once may be enough."

Chelsea Handler, the talk show host and standup comic, practically leapt at the chance to show off:

ALLURE: What was it like on the set?
CH: "I think it was easy—you're naked a couple times a day, so I think it would be easy for most women."
ALLURE: What body parts are you most proud of?
CH: "My boobs are good. They're real and perky. Even if you can't see them, the important thing is that I know about them, and the guys I've slept with know about them."

Lynn Collins, star of the recent bootleg sensation X-Men Origins: Wolverine agreed:

LYNN COLLINS: "Women with confidence in their bodies are the sexiest thing, so I put on my cape of courage and did it. It was quite liberating!"
ALLURE: What body part were you nervous to expose?
LC: "He shot that place where your butt meets your thigh. It's a special place on a woman; it's a highly erogenous zone, but it's one of the hardest places to get in shape."

Via Allure.

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World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model Inspired By the Pope

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:09:00 GMT

Polish model and soon-to-be megafamous sex symbol Joanna Krupa gave an interview to FoxNews this week about how she got into this whole business of laying about half-undressed... and totally undressed.

Blame the Pope.

Krupa, a Polish 20-something recently named The World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model by Playboy (Bar Rafaeli is crying in her two piece), says that it's her European upbringing that made her comfortable enough with herself to do tasteful nudity:

"I think worrying about going topless in a photo shoot or film is really ridiculous," Krupa told FOXNews.com in an exclusive interview. "And the fact is Pope John Paul said, since we were born naked, it is art, and it's just showing a beautiful body that God created."

Amen. [Yes. That's Fox's word.]

"I was born in Europe, and Europeans have a more casual, natural way of dealing with nudity," Krupa adds. "Interestingly enough, these days, you see nudity and toplessness in almost every critically acclaimed movie, and whenever I pick up a French Vogue, I see bare breasts, and French Vogue still sets the standards."

"I can tell you that I am very proud that everything I have achieved to date has happened due to the hard work of my team and myself," she said. "I was never tempted to give in [to the casting couch] because I have always been in committed relationships, and take the word 'committed' very seriously."

"I live a normal life where family and love comes first. The minute I leave a set, I go back to my regular life and simply enjoy a night at home with my sweetheart and dogs, and if we go out, it's just with a few good friends. I watch the circus, but don't join it. People expect a busy model to be on every party and to indulge in crazy behavior, drugs and multiple lovers - I represent the opposite of that."

Krupa also adds that a PETA ad might not be far off..

"I dedicate as much time as I can to fight for animal rights, and against horrific realities like fur factories and puppy mills," she added. "I also have a column on www.bestswimwear.com where I talk about how to get your body in bikini shape, while still enjoying life, and especially food."

Here's that bikini shape she was talking about:

And the NSFW photos that made the Pope proud are below...

WARNING: NSFW BOOBS... as if the above photos aren't...

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Nude Sunbathing Under Attack Worldwide

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:49:00 GMT

You would think that, given the state of the world economy, people would become more willing to relax their stubborn attitudes on issues more likely to stimulate the economy, from marijuana to gay marriage to nude sunbathing.

But not in this case. From North Carolina in the United States to Perth in Australia, nudity is under attack by male Puritans-- and yes, they are almost always males...

First, in Bird Island, North Carolina, a man with a wife and children complained to authorities about having had to "endure" topless sunbathers. Those authorities responded immediately and issued a press release reminding everyone that they can't let their wangs flap in the breeze... or something.

Brunswick County officials say they will come up with a sign banning nudity on the beach. County commissioners say Bird Island is not a registered nude beach and that full exposure is against state law. [News 14]

Ah. Notice they said "full exposure is against state law"-- is North Carolina one of those crazy left-wing states that supports the right of women to show their nipples? Try it some time, dear readers, and let us know how that goes.

Meanwhile, in Australia, a recent survey found that 33% of the country is against topless sunbathing. And here we thought Australia was more open minded. Even those who thought they should be "tolerated" were kind of whiny about it:

...anti-nudists [said] they "didn’t want to see it all hang out". totaltravel.com global marketing manager Paul Fisher said the survey showed that Australians are tolerant of nudity.

However, he said a number of respondents who agreed to have more nudist beaches in Australia called for appropriate signage.

“While a leading proportion of voters agreed that a little bit of flesh never hurt anyone, a few did comment that if more nude beaches were introduced there would have to be appropriate signage to alert families or children to what kind of beach it was,” Mr Fisher said.
“Some also called for nude beaches to be secluded and away from beaches where families congregated." [News.com.au]

C'mon, people, we can do better than that...

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Christina Ricci Was Born To Be A Porn Star

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Don't take this the wrong way-- we didn't mean that title as some sort of insult to the wonderful and wildly popular crush object Christina Ricci.

Ricci is set to star in a new movie called "Born to Be A Star," which is about a guy who discovers his parents were major porn stars in the 1970s...

According to the Hollywood Reporter (thanks to The Screengrab for the heads up), Adam Sandler co-wrote the movie and Tom Brady is directing. We're assuming it's a different Tom Brady than the quarterback who married Giselle Bundchen (again) in Costa Rica over the weekend. Here's the rundown:

The story centers on a small-town nerd who stumbles upon a family secret: His quiet and demure parents were famous porn stars in the 1970s. This motivates him to leave Northern Iowa for Hollywood, hoping to follow in their footsteps and fulfill his destiny as the biggest adult-film star in the world.

Ricci, the female lead, is the guy's innocent girlfriend.

There's no word on nude scenes or, more specifically, Christina Ricci nude scenes, but we're guessing this might be a raunchy PG-13 that pushes the rating as far as it can go-- in other words, no sex scenes in a movie about... porn.

One more tidbit:

Despite Sandler and Giarraputo's involvement, the movie is not a Happy Madison production but rather by porn title-friendly entity Miles Deep Prods.

Via the Hollywood Reporter.

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America's Next Topless Model Is... The Judge

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:03:00 GMT

Paulina Porizkova turns 44 this week-- can you believe it? Either way, hopefully you'll agree that she's as stunning as ever.

The Czech-born supermodel was recently captured cavorting topless-- on a U.S. beach, no less. This woman has nothing to hide, prove, or be sorry about, so all those who made nasty comments on blogs where these photos appeared can kiss her bikini-covered...

Here's what a handful of ungrateful children of God had to say about these snaps:

her nipples are huge compared to her breasts! She has ugly breasts in my opinion. [ugly breasts? The only ugly breasts are certan boob jobs, okay?]

around the kids? really? [right, teach those kids to be ashamed of their bodies!]

her nipples were used too much ..they are dark color...well...she is still in good shape [what do you mean? from breastfeeding?!]

You are great.I love to be able to contact you. Ayman Awwas + 962 79 556 00 22 [uh... yeah... Portizkova didn't post these herself, you know]

And a few true winners:

most people wished they looked this good in their 20s let alone at 43. She looks AMAZING.whoever said she has ugly breasts are stupid. in fact anyone talking shit about her body is stupid...

she's better looking than the competitors

Anonymous, if topless women on the beach bother you, maybe it's time for a trip to Europe to broaden your horizons.

Broaden your horizons... there's a sexual pun in there somewhere, if only we knew what to do with it.

The Best Topless Revue In Vegas Closes After 50 Years

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:03:00 GMT

On Saturday night, the Tropicana Hotel and Casino bid adieu to Les Folies Bergere, its legendary topless revue.

Today, we look back at 50 years of photos from the classic Showgirls-style dinner theater performance, which broke new ground for "tasteful" public nudity...

Beginning on Christmas Day of 1959, the show enjoyed nearly 30,000 performances on the Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada. It closed, some say, because people are more interested in the circus, magic shows, and Cirque del Soleil. The only show left featuring topless showgirls is the Bally's revue "Jubilee!" (Read more about Les Folies Bergere here.)

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Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge is gearing up to star in a (hilariously awful!) spinoff of (the hilariously awful!) MTV fiction show The Hills.

Partridge and her ridiculous breast implants are apparently worthy of their own sitcom, since Partridge was such an exciting addition to The Hills that the 30-program could hardly cram in all her personal and professional trials and tribulations. Those mainly consisted of sitting around a pool, talking in an annoying voice, and not pretending to get married in Mexico.

So, MTV decided it can't have Partridge promote her upcoming series by going on "talk" shows, because it doesn't want to scare off its last two potential viewers. Instead, Partridge landed a deal with Divine Rights of Denim jeans, which continues the trend of having celebrity spokespeople pose nude to advertise their lame products...

Have we vented enough yet? Good.

By the way, the ads are above and directly below, followed by what you really clicked on this for: the lost nude Audrina Partridge photos.

More of the Divine Rights shoot here.

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Sarah Palin Porn Ain't Goin' Nowhere, No Ho Ho Ho

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate was an unqualified disaster. Not only did voters flee from the novel idea of a female vice President (at least-- this potential female vice president), but they abandoned the Republican Party in greater numbers than ever.

Since the election, Sarah Palin's continued quest for the spotlight has further doomed the Party's chances for taking the White House. There was that whole incident with the turkey and the reenactment of that scene from Fargo. There is that whole string of ethics scandals. And, at last, the Bristol-Levi shotgun wedding sham was finally given up, since the voters no longer cared if the kids "did the right thing."

About the only successful enterprise involving Sarah Palin seems to be Naylin' Paylin, the Hustler-sponsored porn film. Now, Larry Flynt and company are shooting a sequel, which promises to keep Palin in the public eye for a lot longer... if only in the eyes of bugging-out pervs...

From Fleshbot (and via AVN):

Hustler cashed in on the election hype with a quickie follow-up called Obama's Nailin' Paylin, featuring a bonus scene with Guy DiSilva as President Obama.
Why another Palin movie now?
"We'll keep doing it as long as we can get away with it," said Hustler exec Jeff Thill.

Lisa Ann, a.k.a. "Serra Paylin" (why bother to change the spelling at all when the name is pronounced the same way?) is on a strip club tour that stops in Hardeeville, South Carolina next month and other locations TBA. Meanwhile, Hustler is gearing up for Hollywood's Nailin' Paylin, a semi-sequel to their smash of last year.

We're guessing the plot involves Paylin going to Hollywood to seduce rich megastars (of the porn world) in the hopes they will back yet another one of her doomed bids for higher office. Wait, sorry-- did we say plot? It's probably just going to be a whole lotta this:

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Ryanair Stewardess Wants You to Join Her Mile High Club

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:21:00 GMT

Last week, we presented exclusive footage of a stewardess and a pilot attempting to join the other kind of Mile High Club. In July, we showed you a video of a Ryanair press conference in which several executives announced planes for "blow jobs in business class," a joke that may have been taken literally by one stewardess.

Fleshbot and other porn blogs have outed Edita Bente, internet porn sensation, as Ryanair stewardess Edita Schindlerova, which is a way better porn name anyway.

Save your "I'd like to violate her airspace" jokes for after the jump...

Bente tells The Sun that, following her appearance in Ryanair's yearly calendar, in which she starred wearing a bikini, a coworker discovered her moonlighting gig and outed her to staff:

"I had this shit a year ago with a pilot with nothing better to do than check the Internet," she said.

Wow. Way to attack your base, Bente. Pervs have feelings, too, ya know.

Thanks to Fleshbot for the heads up.

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World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:02:00 GMT

On Saturday afternoon, naked people took to their bicycles all over the Southern Hemisphere to protest the "indecent exposure" caused by carbon emissions. We're all for this campaign...

Above photos from Newcastle. Top photo from Sao Paulo.

The World Naked Bike Ride 2009 kicked off its first wave of protests in cities like Melbourne, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, and Lima. The Northern Hemisphere events are scheduled for June 13th and already include Krakow, L.A., London, Seattle, Amsterdam, Montreal, New Orleans, and many other major cities.

Perhaps the funniest photo of the day is this one, which doesn't even involve nudity. Check out that sexy pink bike!

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Anna Friel Has Been Getting Naked Since Before She Was Born

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:11:00 GMT

Forgive the silly headline here, but we must address the recent "shock" that resonated throughout the blogosphere about Pushing Daisies star Anna Friel's controversial nude scenes in her upcoming movie.

People: a simple Google search will tell you whether anyone has ever appeared naked anywhere at any time, including in the shower...

The Sun and other useless newspapers are desperate to stay afloat, so it's no surprise they're pretending the few well-known actresses getting naked in recently-released movies are first-time affairs and that their photographs/screenshots are excerpts. Gwyneth Paltrow was the first to be incorrectly (and widely) labeled a "new nude," followed by Anna Friel.

Here is her nude canon, followed by a badly-edited clip from Bathory, her latest naked-fest, and a photo from the same. Bathory, by the way, tells the exceptionally disturbing story of Elizabeth Bathory, a Hungarian countess in the late 16th/early 17th centuries and the world's most accomplished female serial killer, with hundreds of victims to her credit.

Rogue Trader

The Tribe

Me Without You

Bathory

...and the promised Bathory screenshot. Cree-py...

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From the Annals of Boobs...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:54:00 GMT

We've been noticing a strange trend in the latest wave of free internet porn. (Hey, not that we're spending our workdays looking at porn or anything. No, that would be wrong. Wrong. Very wrong. Really wrong.)

Fleshbot and several readers have directed us to porn clips of late that involve one trend in boobs...

The Boob Rub. See evidence below:

And this...

...which proves internet porn trends do influence real world sex...

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Gwyneth Paltrow Saves Joaquin Phoenix's Career With Her Boobs

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:01:00 GMT

Joaquin Phoenix's "final" acting performance has been getting rapturous reviews, especially from critics who actually believe his recent publicity stunts are real. One writer, however, noted that it would be impossible to watch Phoenix's Letterman appearance back-to-back with the new film Two Lovers and not think he's faking the rap career.

However, the largely negative reactions to Phoenix's new music and public persona have turned people off of Two Lovers, and so producers are hoping Gwyneth Paltrow can sell the movie, in which she co-stars. To do so, they've leaked a phone sex scene in which Paltrow flashes a boob at Phoenix from a window.

It's only about thirty seconds long, but this is the hottest Paltrow has been since Shakespeare in Love. (By the way, numerous idiotic websites claim this is her first topless scene-- they aren't even close. See below.)

Here are some highlights from her past work... that food travel show not included... har har.

Flesh and Bone

Shakespeare in Love

Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:22:00 GMT

We won't bore you with stories of our orgy and menage a trois experiences... because that's not why you're going to click on this post, right?

Without ado, the Five Best Sex Scenes That We Were Able To Find On The Internet And Could Embed Here... Part One. Suggestions, as always, for the next wave, in the comments section...

5. Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders. With a whopping 3.9-out-of-ten ranking on IMDB, you would be forgiven for not having heard of this via word-of-mouth. But now that Brittany Snow has been chosen to star in the Gossip Girl spinoff, expect this awful/true story to be repackaged in a useless Director's Cut DVD, complete with this sex scene stretched four milliseconds longer.

4. Factotum. If Marisa Tomei weren't in this scene, it wouldn't even have occurred to us to include it. After all, unless you consider dual finger-bangs "sex," this isn't much of a sex scene. But... again... Marisa Tomei, people...

3. Threesome. For a movie with sexual innuendo in the title, there isn't enough actual sex here. However, this clip does feature Lara Flynn Boyle getting talked "dirty" to over the phone while Stephen Baldwin goes down on her in person-- that counts, right? Oh, and there's an almost hot scene starting about 3:30 in with actual one-on-one sex. (The phone stuff starts at about 5:30.)

2. Wild Things. Jesus H! Is Matt Dillon in every great threesome in Hollywood history? You think he writes them in after signing his contract or will he not even agree to a role unless there's some menage goin' on? For us, the movie never gets finer than the opening scene, where a soap-sudsy Denise Richards stands dripping in Dillon's doorway, but everyone seems to think this is hotter 'n hell, so here goes...

1. American Psycho. "In terms of lyrics craftsmanship... this album hits new peaks of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you dance a little?" In another director's hands, this would've been too unsettling to be darkly humorous. Is the film over-the-top, obvious, excessively violent and ultimately not the greatest movie? Absolutely. Is this sex scene near-genius? You put that in granite and stamp it on a business card.

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Apparently, Olga Kurylenko Would Rather Be Naked Than... Anything Else

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

Last year's Bond babe and budding Hollywood It Girl is rapidly disappearing from the movie world.

In the months since the release of "Bond 22" (i.e.... and it still bothers us to say this... Quantum of Solace), Olga Kurylenko has all but vanished from the spotlight. Then again, if you've been keeping an eye on the internet for her seemingly relentless yet obscure photo shoots, you have been seeing a lot more of her than usual.

Her in-production film credit is this one:

Orlando Bloom, Vincent Cassel (Eastern Promises) and Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) have signed on to star in The Cross, which will be directed by Andrew Niccol (Lord of War).

According to Variety, Niccol has initiated pre-production on the $24 million sci-fi escape story.

Set in a border town, The Cross returns Niccol -- Oscar-nommed for writing The Truman Show -- to his favorite domain: the near future. Bloom plays a man seeking to cross a mysterious border, something no one else has achieved; Cassel limns the guard who will go to any lengths to foil him. Kurylenko takes the femme lede. [MovieWeb]

Yeah, uh... we'll wait with bated breath for that one...

Anyway, she also continues to do what she does best, namely this photo shoot... and these...

Via various sources. Uncropped version of the first b&w photo via this link.

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