Scanner : underage sex

PA DA Threatening to Jail 11-Year-Olds For Sexting

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

District Attorney George Skumanick Jr. Tunkhannock, Pennsylvania is in deep doo-doo after bullying and threatening the parents of a bunch of girls between the ages of 10 and 16 about their sexting problems. He threatened to imprison an eleven year old for something that isn't even a crime (wait'll you hear this) and is being sued by the ACLU on behalf of three furious families.

Skumanick sat down with parents one day and showed them the lurid images and said that either the girls enter into a treatment program for their sexual problems or be forced to endure a trial to juvie hall, a trial, and possible jail time.

Another confiscated phone had photos of a 17-year-old girl that she described in an interview as "semi-nude pictures, underwear and stuff like that." The girl, who took the photos herself, was debating whether to send them to her boyfriend when a teacher took the phone.

Mr. Skumanick thought he had enough evidence to charge them as juveniles on pornography violations -- not just for sending the photos, but for appearing in them, too.

At a school assembly during the crisis, one boy was ejected and told "this isn't a debate" for questioning whether the DA was ruining people's lives by carrying on his investigation. Soon after, letters began appearing in mailboxes around Wyoming County, telling parents their children were being suspected of involvement with child porn and ordering the adults to appear at a courthouse meeting, where the phones were laid out and anyone could see the porn pics. An 11-year-old in a bathing suit was told she could be charged for "posing provocatively."

Another was told the years-old photo of her in a bra at an all-girls slumber party could get her in deep trouble-- and that she could be raped by an old man who might across the pic. One 17-year-old attended the meeting herself and cried out,"I think the worst punishment is knowing that all you old guys saw me naked. I just think you guys are all just perverts."

And not long after that, the ACLU filed suit, effectively blocking charges against the children Skumbag is so aggressively pursuing.

Via WSJ. [Please right-click to open this link in a new window.]

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:14:00 GMT

Phil Spector was finally convicted of second-degree murder. Bye bye, psycho.

Al Franken has been declared the winner of the Minnesota Senate race... again. And it's not over yet... although it's been over for months, of course.

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English High School The World's Most Sexually Dangerous

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:51:00 GMT

Headlands School in Bridlington, Yorkshire has the highest rate of teacher-student sexual encounters in, we're guessing, the first world.

On Friday, British police charged a staff member, which sounds wrong, with having sex with a teenage girl, bringing the grand total of arrests to...

FIVE.

Five teachers or staff members at Headlands High have been charged in less than three years. Here's a breakdown of how the endless scandals have all played out:

Three years ago, an art instructor by the name of Ian Blott (man, these stories can't be real, can they?) received a blot on his record and four years in prison for forcing himself on a teenage girl. The girl claimed that she was traumatized from the encounter and left with bulimia and other medical problems.

In 2007, Steven Edwards, until then a science teacher, was convicted of having sex with three students (their genders not identified here) and is now serving a five-year sentence. The abuse/relationships occurred over the course of four years, but only came to light after Blott's trial.

Even after two such cases in as many years, school officials did nothing to or were unable to stop the tidal wave: two more teachers were arrested last year. Terry Mann, a teacher, had sex with a student from another school and somehow managed to escape with a suspended sentence, possibly because he plead guilty and admitted everything immediately. One of his colleagues, a teacher's assistant, also received a slap on the wrist for carrying on a long-term relationship with a boy at school.

Again, the school did nothing to successfully control its staff.

The fifth case came to light last week, when Chris Reen, who works as a substitute or fill-in at the school (what, the janitors are getting in on this, too?), was arrested for seven sexual encounters with a girl throughout the end of 2008. Parents were understandably outraged, since the school is apparently on probation for failing to properly protect and educate its charges. This is about as solid a case for homeschooling as any...

By the way, according to this story, Reen is "a newlywed." Wow, way to bring shame to your family, dude.

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Young Guy Waits In Tree For His Girlfriend To Come Along And Accept His Ring

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:14:00 GMT

You would think the police, parents, and school officials would be thrilled to death by a guy who waits up in a tree in Terre Haute, Indiana for his girlfriend to get out of school. See, he's going to propose marriage and has driven all the way for Michigan or Wisconsin or one of those crazy places and has the ring in his pocket and everything.

What a hopeless romantic, right? "Hopeless" might be the word for it, yes...

According to a variety of bloodthirsty news outlets, a 20-year-old internet dork named Alex Edwards drove down to Indiana from Wisconsin and waited for his girlfriend to get out of school so he could propose. Awww... shucks. As it turns out, his girlfriend is a 14-year-old eighth grader who has been telling everyone she's been trying to break up with this creep for ages. And yes, they've had sex.

Edwards was surrounded by cops by the time school let out and he had this to say about his predicament:

Alex Edwards, 20, admitted he had sexual relations with the girl last August. He told reporters before his court hearing Tuesday he believed the relationship “was the same as like a 26-year-old and a 20-year-old.”

Not quite, Casanova. You're now facing several years in prison, not to mention spending his 21st birthday (Sunday)... in Indiana. Ouch.

Via TribStar.

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This Guy Thought It Was OK To Sign Stepdaughter To Sex Contract

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:51:00 GMT

An Australian man has been sentenced to a mere eight years in prison for molesting his stepdaughter, who consented to be his love slave in a signed contract. The contract, which is totally illegal, of course, is just one of several bizarre twists in this agonizing, widely-publicized trial.

For starters, her mother was well aware of the goings-on...

The girl's mother, who, like the others involved in this case, remains unidentified, was sentenced to a mere six months in prison for encouraging the sixteen-year-old daughter to have a baby with the mother's own husband. The contract, which was partly her idea, called for the daughter to keep all the "baby bonuses," whatever those are. ("Having to wake up in the middle of the night all the time," "having to give birth to your stepfather's child and drop out of school"-- something along those lines?)

The woman talked her way out of a harsher sentence by claiming that she only wanted to have another child and because her two children have Hirschsprung's disease, the lovely couple decided to the sixteen-year-old girl should carry the kid. (Have these people ever heard of adoption or surrogate motherhood or sexual abuse laws?) The mother may or may not have known the real truth: that her husband had been molesting the girl since she was 12, which throws his whole pathetic argument out the window.

PS The contract at the top of this post is unrelated to the case, but you should really click on it for the larger pic.

You can read more about the conclusion of the court case here.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Thrilla in vanilla: Michael Jackson's press conference announcing some London shows he'll soon cancel was not exactly a thriller. See the video Scanner Emily shared yesterday.

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Hero of the day: the nurse who bought a disabled boy a fake vagina so he could get himself off.

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Teacher In Lesbian Sex Scandal Story Not Helping...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 15:16:00 GMT

This is the face of terror. Or it could be the face of true love. (Either way, could the cops have made this mug shot any more like a documentary on the Hale-Bop cult?)

Angie Fetty is a thirty-four-year-old English teacher in Pennsylvania and now an accused sex offender. Unlike most of the alleged criminals profiled on this blog, Fetty is a female accused of sleeping with another female, in this case, a sixteen-year-old who may or may not testify against her lover.

But it's not the fact that this is a lesbian sex scandal that caught our attention... it's the bizarre saga at the root of the case.

Turns out Fetty wasn't very discreet with her encounters with the student. First of all, how does a sixteen-year-old girl get to stay over her teacher's house every night-- or at least several times per week, according to the report? Are the parents pulling all-nighters at work or something? In any case, these two thought they could hide their love away by kissing and parting at the bus stop, leaving the teacher to drive to school and the teenager to ride the bus, as if this would throw off the "scent" or something. Apparently, Fetty didn't know that her neighbors are, for the most part, not blind and, of course, the rumors ultimately made their way to the school.

This is the second lesbian teacher sex case in the last few months-- that one also featured some weird sleepovers and incredibly oblivious parents. Here's what we said about that case:

It all started when Thompson [the teacher] proposed the 14-year-old girl go to lunch with her. It soon escalated into sleepovers and racy text messages... while Thompson continued to be married to her husband. (Didn't he think something was strange when his wife kept staying over some kid's house?!)
"...But the couple were found out when the parents discovered them having sex one evening. Their reaction was simply to request that their daughter keep her door open when she had visitors. Thompson’s husband also walked in on the pair when he came home from work earlier than expected one day. [Bild.de]"

Who knows? This might even become a trend...

More about the case here.

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Monk Sex Scandal Proves Forced Celibacy Won't Work

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 14:46:00 GMT

A reader alerted us to a sex scandal we missed out on: a Thai monk who resigned from his monastery after getting caught having sex, after a wild teen sex and booze extravaganza at his place.

Even weirder: it's a gay Thai monk sex scandal... and you won't want to miss these comments in the Bangkok Post...

Our story starts with an unnamed abbot, the head father/monk in Nakhon Si Thammarat, whatever that is. One night, when his male lover is indisposed for an undisclosed reason, Father Anonymous hosts a large gang of unruly teens for booze and innuendos involving trying to "one-up the Catholic Church." The teens leave, but the next day, there is a large cum stain on the abbot's bed sheets. (We don't even want to get into how weird it is that someone would leave a cum stain lying around-- but then again, maybe they don't have Kleenex in Thailand.)

Assuming the worst-- that this stain wasn't the result of a masturbatory session run amok-- the abbot's lover took him to task, started a fight, got smacked around, and reported daddy-o to the police.

The abbot fled and quit the monkhood to avoid arrest and forced disrobement.

Yes, but he may have enjoyed a "forced disrobement."

By the way, some of the many comments on this story are priceless. Many of these people don't know what "a Buddhist monk" means or what the hell they are talking about.

Do realy anybody in Thailand follow buddist rules. Is it not like that,- if somebody close to you, or yourselves have benefit of it,- you may do what ever you want without breaking the rules?
Big deal. There are sexual affairs going on in monasteries.
[Columnist] Khun Sanitsuda is right. Thai Buddhism needs a major overhaul. However, moaning and groaning about it is not very useful. She should offer constructive idess as to how this can be achieved.
Stop making donations to the monks,they run to buy mobile phones, wigs and run for sex at night.
The human sex drive is as natural as eating food or breathing air. Sexual desire is the reason the world is over populated. The only way to make a man live a lifetime without sexual desire is to surgically his eyes and sex organs at birth
It is really unnatural to let men and women abstain from sex in the name of religion. If you see in Islam the Prophet Mohammad married 12 ladies in his life. Islam never allows religion to overpower basic human instints. This is the reason a Muslim man if can do justice can marry four ladies at a time.

It gets nuttier and more profound, sometimes simultaneously, from there. Read the rest via this link.

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Brian Fairbanks — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 00:01:00 GMT

Life in prison for consensual sex with a 16-year-old boy? That's a big WTF.

North Dakota fired another salvo in the war against the morning after pill and other "abortions": they passed a law stating that life begins at conception.

Speaking of conception, it's the reason a big celebrity couple recently broke up...

Hayden Panettiere's relationship with Milo Ventimiglia apparently wasn't strong enough to survive the always-fun pregnancy scare. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, "The test proved negative but apparently caused friction that sparked the breakup." [The Superficial]

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Two stories left over from earlier this week: the New York Times says women know when men are turned on because the smell of the man's sweat will change.

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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested For Sex With 13-Year-Old Girl... Guess Who Doesn't Get Arrested?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:15:00 GMT

Arkansas, you have really been on our shit list this week.

First, we find out that you've banned atheists from running for public office, a policy that doesn't pass muster under the watch of the U.S. constitution. But you've never cared about equality, freedom of religion, and justice, have you?

Next, we learn that you arrested a fifteen-year-old boy for filming a "consensual sex act" with a thirteen-year-old female and slapped him (and the cameraboy) with Class-C felonies. What, pray tell, Arkansas, did you do with the thirteen-year-old girl?

Local news stations have given us the answer: the state of Arkansas is doing nothing with the thirteen-year-old girl. Of course, we don't mean to infer that anyone should be arrested in this case-- they are consenting teenagers, leave them alone-- but since both are underage, why not arrest both for corrupting a minor? Is thirteen too young to arrest in Arkansas for a sex crime? If that's true, why is fifteen old enough to send to juvie for the same act?

(The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, and the criminal code states that if the suspect is under 20, they may only be charged with a misdemeanor, if we're reading this right. Of course, they're charged with "employing or consenting to the use of a child in a sexual performance," which gets around the sex law thing a bit.)

In any case, the whole thing stinks. Why can't Arkansas get the big government they hate so much out of our private lives?

Read more here.

Photo via.

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:49:00 GMT

Sheila Langman may not be the most intelligent person.

She was arrested in October for having sex with a fifteen-year-old boy, pled not guilty, and is awaiting trial. That isn't why she's an idiot. We find her guilty of that charge because she couldn't resist a little V-Day affair with the same kid, even though she knew the police were monitoring her every move...

According to the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Sheila Langman, 38, was under GPS monitoring, according to the Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office. At about 7:40 p.m. Friday, investigators say their alarm went off because she was near the boy's home.

Deputies tracked her and pulled her over on Misty Meadow Lane - about a mile from her own house on Parker Lake Circle - where they say the boy was in her car.

After her initial arrest in October, a judge ordered Langman, a former cheerleading coach, not to have any unsupervised contact with minors. And a perimeter around the boy's home was an "exclusionary zone" she wasn't allowed to enter.

Langman was originally arrested after a complaint was made to the Department of Children and Families, not necessarily by a family member. Police and prosecutors allege the cheerleading coach and her young man engaged in sex on multiple occasions last summer.

Oh, and in case you think this is a very, very sexy story for some bizarre reason (well, after all, the kid got in the car with her again last week), you might want to avoid seeing this mugshot.

Via NWFDailyNews.

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Colorado Kids Want to Write About Sex and No One Can Stop Them

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:36:00 GMT

Because of a much-discussed state law, administrative advisers for Colorado's school newspapers are only allowed to offer suggestions and guide staffers along, while the kids make the final decisions.

This may be why the state's Arapahoe High School was able to publish an edition of their paper devoted to teen relationships, i.e. promiscuous sex...

According a local NBC news affiliate, the most recent issue of the Arapahoe Herald was devoted to the subject:

"Player spills inside details," features the sexual escapades of a male student.

"I constantly [get sex] even though I have a girlfriend," said the boy who assumed the fictitious name of Trey Costanda. He is also quoted saying, "The easiest way to get girls is to get them drunk, but that's not right."

"First of all, why would you print that in the school newspaper?" 18-year-old senior Jeff Malaterre asked. "Parents could get upset at the school for publishing something like that."

The other controversial profile in the article featured the story of an openly promiscuous girl, who assumed the fictitious name of Marie Cullen.

"You have to give boys what they want," she said in the article, "My main weapons are my [breasts]."

Cullen also talks about having eight sexual partners and details her first sexual experience.

Cullen... Cullen? From where could this young lady have lifted her moniker? Hmmm...

Seriously, could it be that the abstinence theme of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight books has, like all abstinence "programs" and general grandstanding, backfired and turned teens into irresponsible sexual, well, vampires?

Via 9News.

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Mama Bear Made Fantasties Come True For Teen Boys

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 18:53:00 GMT

A woman in Huntington, TX may have chanced on our story a while back about the Trailer Trash Tramp who gave Teens Two Tickets To Paradise (or somethin' like that) and found some inspiration in its sordid tale...

Trishana Broussard, who we are not calling "trailer trash" or anything so insulting, was arrested last week for sexual assault of a child, a second-degree felony offense. Since then, more strange details have emerged-- Broussard, known as "Mama Bear" around these parts ("ah, so that's what that meant," the local parents most be thinking), is being investigated for approximately 8 to 10 cases of having sex with different teenage boys. Victims are too embarrassed to come forward, say the cops, because they all seem to know each other... and no one wants to face each other after being told of their friends getting their own sloppy seconds.

One of the boys told Sifford in an interview that Broussard allegedly performed oral sex on him and they also had sexual intercourse, the chief said.

The other one told Sifford that Broussard had taken to him a cemetery and performed oral sex on him, the chief said.

Broussard has denied all of the allegations made by the two boys, but did say she may have sent some inappropriate text messages to the boys, Sifford said.

"Some" translating to over 100 to one boy alone, according to his parents. See, the reason there appear to be more of these underage-sex cases than ever is thanks to text messaging. There were probably just as many incidents in the past, but it was harder for police to make arrests, since suspects didn't so idiotically incriminate themselves.

Via the Lufkin Daily News.

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While You Were Sleeping: Sean Penn's Pick For Best Actor

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

One of the married Bee Gee's fathered a child with his housekeeper.

Claire Danes is engaged to-- surprise-- one of her ol' co-stars.

Helicopter girl turns out to be a porn star. This would be a post in itself if TMZ hadn't edited out or censored all the good parts.

Italy now has its own Terri Schiavo case. Hopefully, it, too, will spell the beginning of the end of a right-wing dictator-type's stranglehold on a country; in this case, Berlusconi's.

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Psychologist sex-- it's all the rage.

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Repeat Teen Abortions on the Rise, Birth Control Still Despised By Right-Wingers

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 19:06:00 GMT

On a day when Democrats (including President Obama) agreed to drop Federal funding for birth control from the stimulus bill, a new study was released in Britain indicating a huge spike in repeat abortions by teenage girls...

Among the findings, according to the Daily Mail:

In England in 2007, almost 6,000 girls, teenage or younger, had their second, third, or fourth abortions; that's about double the figure for the same study conducted in 1991. The Mail attributes some of this behavior to underage boozing marathons i.e. binge drinking, but we have to wonder if there's any correlation between this and the rise in the number of teenagers calling themselves "Christians." Just asking.

The number of abortions performed on teenage girls who have had at least one before has risen by almost 70 per cent since 1991, fuelling fears that terminations are being carried out for lifestyle reasons.

Abortions in the UK have reached record levels - almost 200,000 a year in England and Wales
[R]epeat terminations carried out on teenagers rose by 68 per cent in 16 years
'I think that young women who have had one abortion fall into two camps.
'There is one that understands the ongoing consequences and another that (is) very cavalier and hardened about it and have entered a phase of regarding it as a backup method of contraception.

Meanwhile, the story's righthand column focuses on the sex lives of Royals, whether it's okay for teenage lovers to sleep in the same bedroom, and an article titled: "Mummy, why have you got boobs on your back? How one woman was shocked into dieting." Again, we're just mentioning it.

Via the Daily Mail.

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This Week in Gayness: Portland Mayor's Sex Scandal Heats Up

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:40:00 GMT

A gay candidate for Mayor in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is not helping the cause by being a "fiscal conservative" who runs up astronomical debts to small businesses and then refuses to pay.

If you're gay and want to be on Tyra, you'd better be a "queeny."

Ted Haggard's former superchurch may have bribed a 20-year-old man into keeping mum about his sexual relationship with the preacher man.

ABC is the top network for gay themes, if GLAAD Media Award nominations are an indicator.

New York was thrilled to hear that its LGBT nemesis Joe Bruno has been indicted.

Bobby Griffith, a gay man, committed suicide at the age of 20 because pressure from the world around him was too much to take. His mother was a hardcore Christian and had fought with him over his sexuality, but after his death, she realized her mistake and became a crusading activist for the gay cause. Now, Lifetime is airing a movie starring Sigourney Weaver about this story. Of course, Focus On (Breaking Up) The Family objects.

And Sam Adams, newly minted Mayor of Portland, Oregon, has been unable to dog sex scandal rumors. He has returned to work at City Hall while a probe looks into whether Mr. Breedlove, his possibly underage lover, was indeed underage at the time of their affair. Breedlove says the couple kissed twice when he was only 17, but that was it.

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Trailer Trash Tramp Takes Two Teens To... Paradise?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Picture this: you live in a trailer in Houma, Lousiana. No, that's too horrible to imagine for most-- how about this instead:

Imagine a woman is living in a trailer in Louisiana. One night, she invites two thirteen-year-old boys and four boys of legal age to her place for a game of cards. After losing what we must assume was a very randy round of strip poke, she asks all six dudes to accompany her to the bedroom, where they took turns having sex with her while the others gawked, giggled, and most likely turned toward each other with "Dude, holy shit, dude!" looks on their faces.

Now, if you're the judge sentencing this woman-- remember, you're in the South-- how much jail time do you slap this woman with?

If you're Judge Timothy Ellender, the answer is NONE. Ellender is one of those rare judges who, instead of trying to win reelection by showing the media how unfairly tough on crime he can be, actually heeded the advice of the victim's family, who asked that Maureen Lirette receive zero jail time. They told the judge that the boys were not upset and, because Lirette has a young daughter, it would be best for everyone if Lirette received probation.

Thanks to state law allowing victims to weigh in on a criminal's punishment, the Judge was able to hear the family's recommendations. He listened, and now Lirette will serve five years of supervised probation and be placed in a registry of sex offenders. Among Judge Ellender's greatest hits, according to WWLTV:

“So this was a gang bang? Are you pleased with yourself? Can’t you get yourself a man?”
“There’s a double standard. Some people think you did a 13-year-old boy a favor. I certainly don’t.”

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But you need to be embarrassed.”

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:51:00 GMT

While he chose to be overseas rather than attend the inauguration, Tom Cruise wants you to know he supports Obama.

Captain Sully was at the inauguration. Afterward, he took his family to a restaurant called the Hudson.

Diane Sawyer, who used to work for Nixon, really enjoyed herself at Obama's inaugural balls last night. This video clearly shows just how much she enjoyed it, if you know what we mean.

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Patti Lupone flipped her shit on a rude patron while singing live in Gypsy on Broadway-- now that's entertainment.

And this moron was the Mayor of a Wisconsin town... that is, until he was busted trying to pickup underage girls on the internet. Ouch.

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First Gay Mayor in the U.S. Already Embroiled in Major Sex Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:32:00 GMT

When Portland, Oregon Mayor Sam Adams was running for office back in 2007 (he was sworn in last year), he was dogged by rumors of a love affair with-- you called it-- an intern...

Adams dismissed the rumors by saying that he did not have sex with Beau Breedlove (we thought it had to be bullshit when we heard that name) who was rumored to be 17 at the time of his employment at the Oregon State Legislature back in '05. Now, in a shocking turn of events, Adams has been forced to admit to having had sex with the boy, but denies that the teen was underage at the time. Here's the full text of his remarks, from a press release out of the Mayor's office:

I want to publicly acknowledge a mistake I have made and I want to apologize for it.

In the past, I have characterized my relationship with Beau Breedlove as purely non-sexual. That is not true. Beau Breedlove and I had a sexual relationship for a few months in the summer of 2005 after he turned 18 years of age.

I should have been honest at the time about the true nature of my relationship with Beau Breedlove when questions about my relationship with him first surfaced publicly in October 2007. In fact, Beau encouraged me to be honest about the facts of our relationship. I am deeply sorry that I asked him to lie for me.

I lied at the time because I was afraid that people would believe untrue rumors, being circulated by an undeclared mayoral opponent, that I had broken a law involving sexual relations with a minor. But this is not a good excuse.

It's not clear yet whether Adams, the first openly gay man to head a major U.S. city, decided to reveal the supposed "truth" about his sex life because of an investigation or some other concern. We'll have more on this as it comes in...

Via USA Today.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 20:17:00 GMT

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for smacking a woman who insulted her future ex-husband.

The Biggy Smalls biopic Notorious is causing theater owners to freak out. There have been reports of shootings and then this near-riot and outdoor fight has police scrambling for backup.

This may be the coolest thing ever created with Legos...

Obama fever has officially hit Legoland. The Carlsbad, CA, park has modified its U.S. Capitol model to illustrate the historic Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama. The display opens to the public tomorrow, Jan. 16, and will stay on through Memorial Day. Photos by Christopher Victorio. [SF Weekly]

The latest school sex scandal? Seems a psychologist in Idaho was pissed teachers are getting all the underage ass.

Grandpa... became Grandma.

Previously: people using the inaugural to rent out their apartments on Craig's List for astronomical amounts of money. Now: people using the inaugural to troll Craig's List for random sex. One poster wants you and another lady to join him in his hotel jacuzzi-- don't miss out.

UPS delivers, baby.

A London man is all set to marry his fiancee... unfortunately, she died in a car accident. (No, really, this is a beautiful story.)

And word on the street has it that the documentary on Lil' Wayne is the surprise hit of this year's Sundance Festival. Click here to find out why.

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Ontario Cops Teach You All About Pimps And Ho's

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:56:00 GMT

The city of Ontario, which is approximately 40 minutes (plus traffic) east of Los Angeles, has come under scrutiny for its high number of underage prostitutes. In a Daily Bulletin story over the weekend, the police explain the how, what, why of teenage prostitution in California and give us a rundown of the Top 4 Reasons Pimps Succeed...

First, let's break this epic(ally droning) piece down for readability's sake:

[You can pick them up on] half a dozen... Internet sites including one for pimps, where they can network, exchange information on methods, girls and police activities to figure out how to avoid arrest. That one is gotfolks.com. It describes itself as a magazine and flaunts a Netflix ad at the top of the page.
What brings these children to Ontario? The international airport and the presence of giant truck stops in the area where prostitution is rampant, they said. Note to johns: It is a crime for an adult to have sex with a minor, even if it is solicited. That's the law. You will be guilty of several felonies. [No shit, really?]

They told of another girl from the Inland area, who was taken to Vegas by her pimp called Mayo and was required to perform 18 tricks a week.
The officers said that 75 percent or more of the children lured into prostitution have been sexually or physically abused in the past.
"They are looking for structure and the pimps give it to them," the officers said.
Once a girl is hooked, she can't get out. The officers likened it to domestic violence were the abused spouse keeps going back because they see no way out. Some of these 14-, 15- and 16-year-old girls we try to interview in juvenile hall are hard as concrete, they said. But each of the officers said they love the job and feel it's a place where they can make a difference.

And the Top 4 Pimp Tactics are...

SEDUCTION - He takes her out to dinner and shopping, is attentive.
ISOLATION - He turns her against the world.
COERCION - She needs money and he shows her how to get it.
VIOLENCE - Immediate and brutal if she refuses.

We say: ladies, it's never a wise decision to sell yourself on the streets, although if you feel that you must, perhaps it's best to remember a pimp is like the film agent who takes 15% of your novel sale-- you don't need 'em. (And young ladies who feel trapped-- these pimps can't touch when they're behind bars for 20 years, thanks to your testimony.)

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While You Were Sleeping: Kirsten Dunst Off the Deep End

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:49:00 GMT

A very lame-looking Jim Carrey movie based on a superior autobiography opened with a mere $18 million.

Teachers can't keep banging teenagers.

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The brand of shoe thrown at Bush has since big numbers since the incident.

CNN killed the crawl.

Amy Winehouse is out of the hospital and back out on the streets.

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[S]omeone has to become Hollywood's once-aspiring actress who can't keep her face out of the drink. Enter Kirsten Dunst. Here she is drunkenly leaving Bardot last night with her male companion The Cosby Sweater Bandit.

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Boy Suspended From School For Having Sex... Guess What Happened to His Partner?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:44:00 GMT

Sexism strikes both sexes in American culture. Note the example shown above...

...and this story, which features a thirteen-year-old boy who learned that it's often considered solely the male person's fault if a man and a woman are caught doing something "sexually inappropriate" out in the real world.

First of all, we have to point out that we now have thirteen-year-olds having sex in school stairwells. Who got any action, let alone after hours, before they were in high school? What's next? Preschoolers having swingers parties during nap time?

Walter Ransome, who becomes one of the first-ever thirteen-year-old boys to be named in the news media for having sex, was busted by a teacher for having sex with a young lady in his Philly-area stairwell. His mother, of course, was livid-- but more upset over her son's punishment compared to his paramour's:

Walter got kicked out of school for the incident. The girl stayed in school. Now, Goss is demanding to know why.
"I'm not going against the school board whatsoever. Punish these children the way they are supposed to be punished, but don't just punish one and not the other when they both were involved. That's not fair," she said. [Philadelphia Daily News]

Damn straight-- why would the boy, who is black, get a ten-day suspension from junior high school while his classmate (ethnicity unknown) returns to her studies as if nothing ever happened?

Has anyone else out there noticed a double standard when it comes to punishing a young male ~~sex fiend~~ busted for doing something sexual with a female of similar age?

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:44:00 GMT

Kelly Abdo is back.

The pervy Monroe, Michigan girls' volleyball coach was back in court, answering to charges that she had... wait, what's this? Even more ridiculous sex with her students?

You'll recall Abdo-- she's the one who is charged with indecent exposure because, although the student she had sex with was legal, she decided she couldn't wait to get to the boy's house and nailed him outside a house party-- as if no one would notice that!

Guys, before you start having fantasies about this woman, you should know she's completely psycho. And not in the slightly sexy way you want her to be, either:

1) She's a newlywed. For Christ's sake, she got married last year and she's already banging underage students. (See below.)

2) She reportedly forced a girl with an injured leg to perform drills for the volleyball team. Scores of parents have complained about her teaching methods and lawsuits were threatened before the latest revelations came to light.

3) Not only did she sleep with a student in a parked car, she slept with a seventeen-year-old in his house. Abdo slept with the kid and then called him to make sure he "burned the sheets" so her DNA wouldn't be detected on his bed. He neglected to or refused and prosecutors plan to weild the bedding as evidence against Abdo.

4) Idiot Girl Googled "DNA evidence and how to remove it from crime scenes and clothing," and "sex laws between teachers and students under 18 in Michigan." Also: "DNA forensic evidence," "registered sex offender," "sex offender laws," "subpoenaing text message records," and "how long text messages are stored." Moron, you should have thought of things before you had sex-- you don't look up sex laws after you break them-- it's already too late. Guilty. As. Charged.

5) There may have been some underage drinking at that party. What the hell was a twenty-something teacher doing at a high school party-- this woman was begging to be caught and put away for a century or more...

Via the Toledo Blade.

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:05:00 GMT

Can't afford to go to Bonnaroo because of the economic crisis? Music festivals have implemented payment plans for hipsters... and other citizens with good taste.

John McCain is scheduled to stand David Letterman up again this Thursday.

The Governor of Illinois has no plans to resign, called Obama a "motherfucker." Class act.

A Cleveland City Councilman gambled a long political career and up to 20 years in prison for a measly $500 bribe... and lost.

Tyler Perry beat back a frivolous lawsuit.

Tracy Morgan thinks Obama should be more like Jesse Jackson. Or at least a guy who cares more about black people, apparently.

And Kate Winslet had an affair with a man thirteen years her senior... when she was only fifteen.

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Take Us To Detroit: Site of this Weekend's Biggest Orgy

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 22:18:00 GMT

What do you get when you take nineteen prostitutes, twenty dudes, one madam, her underage daughter and her equally underage friend? You get another fun-filled Saturday night in Detroit.

Local press reports indicate the hostess with the mostest is a thirty-nine-year-old woman with a sixteen-year-old daughter. The cops burst through the front door as the daughter and her friend were dancing topless on a table in the living room. Whoops! The best part of all this is that the hookers and johns were merely given tickets and sent away... presumably to a quieter venue for way more brothel fun.

There will be plenty of money to pay off those fines, since the house mom took a $15 cover charge at the door from the guys and a cut of whatever the ladies earned in what must've been cramped quarters. After all, if you hire nineteen prostitutes and, say, three or four bedrooms, where does everyone get it on? Sounds like it was just a big uninterrupted orgy... or "Saturday night," for you Detroiters...

Here's a general AP story on this.

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Droves of Students Coming Forward to Testify Against Skank Teacher

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:29:00 GMT

The victims would like to assure us that she was a lot hotter pre-mugshot...

The trial of Sandy Brinkley, a public high school teacher, is taking the state of Tennessee by storm.

Yesterday went off like gangbusters for the prosecution, with three-- count 'em, three!-- male students coming forward to testify about getting it on with their math teacher. Jesus-- another math teacher-- who knew they had it in 'em?

One of the lead witnesses for the prosecution is a seventeen-year-old boy who served as Brinkley's teacher's aide. She had sex with him on the desk in the girl's volleyball office. Ah, every male's #1 fantasy right there-- except, of course, this kid... who told his parents he had sex with his teacher, which immediately caused our minds to spontaneously combust.

(While we completely understand that he might feel that he was molested and that he should report her to the proper authorities... but to tell your parents first? We don't even want to think about the words "sex" and "parents" in the same sentence, let alone to tell them straight out, without warning, what's been going on.)

Another student made the mistake of taking his shirt off around Brinkley and they either had sex in her new truck or in her house while her family (yep, she's a married woman, apparently) was at church. Same for the third victim.

The best part of all this is that Brinkley claims she was raped by the first student and the other two are just covering for her. For perhaps the first time ever, the justice system isn't falling for that claptrap: no one is investigating these kids for some sort of vast high school boys conspiracy club.

We'll have more as this story continues...

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Dad Nobly Defends Son Against Rape Charges... Oh, Wait...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:09:00 GMT

What did one forty-year-old Dad do to prove his son was innocent of rape?

Why, show a school administrator the kid's sex tape, of course...

Early reports first indicated Cary, North Carolina father Dwayne Anthony Frazier (who is either 41 or 42, depending on which report you believe) brought a sex tape involving a son to a school official (likely the principal) in hopes of clearing the boy of rape allegations. Instead, he's been arrested on charges of second-degree and third-degree sexual exploitation of a minor.

It gets weirder: Frazier's son is only 17, which would make this child pornography. And weirder: the girl is rumored to be only 14-years-old. Whoops.

And now there's a rumor going around that Mr. Frazier himself filmed the supposedly consensual sex.

If Dad is trying to help his son stay out of jail, maybe he should just stop now.

Photo via WRAL.

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:55:00 GMT

Poor Stifler.

A forty-year-old Syracuse, Utah mother of a very embarrassed high school boy had sex with at least two of his classmates and sent nude photos of herself to a host of others. Kimberly/Kimberlee Arigot, seen here in her mugshot, has allegedly been sleeping with the two teenage males, aged 15 and 17, for more than a year, while texting at least one other boy with whom she did not have sexual relations.

The Salt Lake City-area Mom, who is apparently single, has posted bail and is back at home, where several of the encounters are believed to have taken place. Early news reports indicate she has been charged with sexual relations with a minor and procuring alcohol for minors.

She has reportedly confessed to all charges.

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Today in Sweden: Teen Sex For Booze On The Rise

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:40:00 GMT

The percentage of people trading sex for booze is on the rise in the U.S. and Canada, especially among former Brady Bunch stars.

Now a truly oblivious police department in Sweden wants to warn teens about trading sex for booze... as some guys would like to have sex with you in exchange for the booze. Thank you, Lieutenant Obvious...

Police in Stockholm, Sweden are concerned about what they perceive to be a rise in teenage girls offering their bodies to creepy men who are lurking outside liquor stores, hoping teenage girls will offer up their bodies. Police also say these teens are arranging sex by-- breaking news, people!-- text messages and a newfangled invention called the internet, which is apparently a ripoff of the Bulletin Board System.

Seriously, these cops are freaking out over one case in which a guy convicted of sexual harassment and for possessing child pornography bought three sixteen-year-old girls a stockpile of liquor and then brought them back to their place. No word on whether these teenagers (who were dumb enough to not rip the guy off and just take off running with their booze) were molested, but no matter...

Word to Swedish police: this practice has been going on since the advent of moonshine, and probably even before that. Telling teenagers not to do something only encourages them-- you should instead put up posters of very hairy older men saying, "Yes, we'd love to buy you a six pack... but you'll have to spend an hour in my World of Warcraft sex dungeon first." That should take care of the problem right quick...

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