Scanner : vancouver

Hey Everyone, Let's Join the Sex Party

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:20:00 GMT

In November, right after the American Presidential election, we brought you word of an emerging (but subsequently little-noticed) political party in Australia: The Sex Party. Here's what we said:

In response to "moral campaigners and prudish politicians," Australia's open-minded citizens have decided to strike back.
On Thursday, the Great Down Under will announce the only political news worth reporting on: the launch of the fortunately-named Australian Sex Party. And no, it's not that key-exchange game your Mom told you about.

This week, Canada got in on that action with its very own-- and rather different-- Sex Party...

Although they were resoundly defeated in yesterday's parliamentary elections-- as if anyone knew they would be on the ballot-- the Sex Party of British Columbia has only just begun to (fuck or) fight. They have launched a real publicity blitz that is gaining national and, ultimately, worldwide attention, starting with its catchy slogan: "Sex is good. Let's make it better!"

"We're not running to get elected. Obviously it's impossible, especially in a first-past-the-post system that discriminates against small parties," said John Ince, a Vancouver sex shop owner and leader of the Sex Party.
The party's platform touts the benefits of a healthy sex life for personal growth and the betterment of society.
It proposes revamping the provincial education program to gradually encourage students' sexual activity, whereby extensive sexual experimentation would precede first intercourse.
Teens would learn the basics of healthy and satisfying sexual liaisons, such as trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation and verbal communication. They would be offered courses in erotic massage, and taught not to discriminate against gays or lesbians.
Furthermore, the Sex Party would require that all public parks and beaches larger than one hectare (2.5 acres) be designated areas for nudists in a bid "to normalize all parts of the human body and de-stigmatize human sexual organs."

Can you imagine that ever passing here in the next 500 years? Central Park overrun by nudists-- meaning, besides that "nudists" who walk up to you and expose themselves? Never gonna happen... but stranger things have happened in Canada and we'd certainly vote for a Sex Party candidate if we could...

It promises to make it easier for the elderly living in long-term care facilities to have sex, for example, by instituting training for "specialized sexual care nurses."
"Other politicians don't want to discuss these kinds of issues. It's very scary to them," commented Scarlett Lake. The former exotic dancer who now owns an escort service is one of three Sex Party candidates in this election.
She proposes changing Victoria Day, a statutory holiday in Canada that celebrates the birthday of Queen Victoria, who reigned during an era of prudery in Britain, to "Eros Day" for the Greek mythological god of lust and intercourse.

"Specialized sexual care nurses" as part of its platform... ex-strippers/escort Madams-turned candidates... making Victoria Day the Crazy Lust and Greek Sex Orgy day... all that is bound to garner a few token votes. Unfortunately, for now, that's all they're likely to get...

This photo of John Ince, the group's founder, is just begging for a "Caption This."

Via AFP.

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Top 5 Nude Beaches in North America

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:43:00 GMT

If you're gay or just want to see a bunch of naked men making out, tanning, splashing each other, or just plain frolicking in the sun, OutTraveler has the list for you.

And if you're a lady person and just want to let it all hang out among guys who probably won't take your picture and put it on NudeBeachCam.com or whatever, you'll want to know where the hot spots are...

Theirs is a Top 5 list, beginning with the only entry for an ocean beach in the continental United States: unfortunately, it's in Miami...

1. Haulover Beach, Miami. Apparently, this is the only nude beach in Flordia and arguably one of the country's finest of any kind. Pro: Lots of good looking people. Con: It's in Miami, for God's sake. Not only that, it's a mob scene virtually from the crack of dawn to after the cops toss everyone off the beach.

2. Hippie Hollow, Austin. We were surprised to learn there was a nude beach in Austin and even more surprised to learn that Texas police haven't raided it with rubber bullets yet. Pro: "Over a hundred swimming holes, a gay-adored beach, and impressive climbing crags beckon from the star of Texas." Con: "The gay section is about 15 minutes walk to the left from the parking lot." Then again, that kind of distance between you and the rest of the local bathers could be a "pro."

3. Hanlan’s Point, Toronto. We don't often think "nude beach" and "Canada" go together, but this entry convinces us. Pro: The fifteen-minute ferry to the beach has an amazing view of the city and, at 6.50CA, is the only thing you'll have to spend money on to get to the sand. Also, water quality is monitored constantly and is usually excellent. Con: You have to wait for it to get hot enough. In Canada.

4. Little Beach, Makena, Maui, Hawaii. Up a trail in the hills of Maui, this island hideaway has one major catch: it's illegal to go naked anywhere in public in Hawaii. Pro: Bragging rights about going naked in Maui-- is there anything that can make your Facebook friends more jealous than to read that status update? Con: Having your hands cuffed behind your back when you're naked-- and not getting any S&M out of it.

5. Wreck Beach, Vancouver. Man, who knew there were so many opportunities to take your clothes off in Canadia Land? Pro: "Naked vendors ply the beach offering water, beer, sandwiches, and a surprising array of narcotics. Ask any student how to get to the access paths that lead down to the water." Better yet, ask a student while you're naked doing a snort of coke off your boyfriend's umbrella tip. Con: Absolutely nothing that we can think of...

By the way, if you're over in the UK, you should know that the country's oldest nude beach will close after this summer, thanks to coastal erosion (i.e. global warming.)

Via OutTraveler.

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Politician Probably Should've Taken Down Scandalous Facebook Profile First

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:26:00 GMT

This might be the first case of a political photo scandal on the internet eventually finishing off a politician's career. Ray Lam must be cursing the very existence of Facebook after two photos posted to his account caused him to drop out of an electoral grudge match.

Lam, who took down his Facebook account yesterday after the leak hit the Canadian press (the images above are of other Ray Lam's), didn't delete the photos from the web fast enough...

This photo, along with another one depicting Lam groping a woman's breasts, cost the candidate his standing in British Columbia's New Democratic Party and his spot on the ticket in a civil race. This is a setback for Canadian Scanner readers, for sure, as the Globe and Mail makes clear:

Mr. Lam's website says that he has a background in social services and non-profit groups.

Mr. Lam has been involved for several years with the Pride Society, a Vancouver-based advocacy group for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community. According to a Pride Society web site, Mr. Lam has been involved in several community organizations and was chair of Youthquest, Lesbian & Gay Youth Society of British Columbia.

So, if he's interested in all this gay activism, there is a strong possibility he's a homosexual, which means he wasn't even bothering these people sexually. Oh well-- behold the power of Facebook: it can't find anyone who believes it will last another two years, but it can bring down politicians with harmless "risque photos." Scary.

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 13:56:00 GMT

Spinal Tap confirmed they will play an acoustic tour that will hit Vancouver, Seattle, New York, and several other North American cities.

Eddie Murphy will finally get what he always wanted? No, not an Oscar-- it's the chance to play Richard Pryor.

Last year, we brought you the story of a man who had sex with a park bench... had his dick caught in that park bench, then went through four hours of hell as... okay, we'll stop there. Just read this Cracked list about having sex with inanimate objects.

Bartering is the new e-bay.

A guy who had sex with another man, whom he later discovered is a married father and decided to blackmail, has been sentenced to a mere four months in prison.

We were pretty sure this is a joke-- an airline considering charging passengers one euro for using the toilet-- but Strollerderby swears it ain't.

Blake Fielder-Civil's mom blames Amy Winehouse for her son's failing marriage. What about his introducing her to drugs, lady?

And Sharon Osbourne is being sued over that fight on Charm School, the only three minutes of that show anyone's ever sat through.

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75 Nude Bicyclists Rally Around Dad And His 3-Year-Old

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:02:00 GMT

Picture this: you're a cop in Vancouver, Canada. You have your doughnuts and your Molson Ice (or whatever it is you Canucks think is sooo awesome) and you're sitting there at your desk in the small city's proportionate precinct house, when all of a sudden...

...75 naked bicyclists swarm the station like a flash mob chained at hip, chanting and hollering at you for following orders...

It seems a nude bike ride turned chaotic when it was pointed out that a three-year-old boy was present and that his father was planning on taking both their clothes off. Event organizers got involved, the police were called, and the man agreed to keep the kid's underwear on. Sure enough, he was pulling a fake out, and the kid was seen riding around in the buff. Cops swooped in, the organizers pointed out the "perv," and he and his son were hauled away.

But it didn't end there, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

The father was arrested at the scene of the bike ride under public nudity laws.

Schmidt said the boy was in tears as police took him and his father away, and the arrest prompted the group to cycle through downtown Vancouver to the police station.
"The leaders of this event do not support what the guy did," one cyclist who declined to give her name told The Canadian Press. "I think that's wrong. The kid's a minor."

[Constable] McGuinness said it appeared the man afterward regretted his actions.

"When they were leaving (the scene) it was under the understanding that perhaps he hadn't shown the best judgment; there were a number of people that took offense to the child being naked in the group and subjected to people's scrutiny," she said. [Seattle PI]

Yeah, we don't think he showed the best parenting skills when he ripped the kid's clothes off in public... or when he decided it was okay to have the kid see naked people in mass numbers. (See, it would've been okay if the kid was to being around a lot of naked people-- but we're guessing this was the first time he was forced to take his clothes off in front of strangers. Speaking for ourselves, the whole thing would have made us ill at three years old, for sure.)

Via Flickr.

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Nude Beachgoers Run Rampant In The Streets... As A Protest, Of Course

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:29:00 GMT

The city of Vancouver, BC, was overrun yesterday by naked, aroused, fast-moving hippies who violated our decency laws and represented one massive offense to God.

Well, at least, that's how some could look at it. The rest of us will just enjoy the photos and perhaps even donate to the cause... you mean you didn't see that coming?

This was all part of the 12th Annual Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run (type that ten times fast), held to raise money to preserve the local nude beach and fight off developers looking to set up peepholes (i.e. buildings on the cliffs above.) Spokesperson Judy

Williams says that celebration will continue on Aug. 23 with "Body Acceptance Day" so "people can start discounting body shame that they're raised with."
Ten-year-old Kevin Kunimoto says he'll be back to do the run again next year. "I just wanted to see how it was," he says. "I ran all by myself."
Occasionally, the epithet 'textile' was uttered during the event. That's the word the beach buffs use when referring to those in clothes.
Registrar Judy Ellery says people come from all over the world to take part in the run. "Last year, we had a whole family show up from Hong Kong," she says. [The Canadian Press]

We'll be there next year, for sure, because there weren't too many great snaps from the event (at least not yet online). But these should give you the general idea...

More about the event here.

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Canada Is A Scary Place Where Mountains Fall Down And Heads Get Decapitated

Ina Maier — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 20:25:00 GMT

Canada -- coincidentally (or, perhaps not so coincidentally...) Scanner Verena's homeland -- is a scary place today.

MSNBC reports that a sleeping passenger aboard a Greyhound was killed and then decapitated by his seatmate as the bus oh-so-scenically "rolled across the Canadian prairie." The eyewitness description is even creepier:

"The attacker was standing up right over top of the guy with a large hunting knife — a survival, Rambo knife — holding the guy and continually stabbing him, stabbing him, stabbing him in the chest area," Caton [who was sitting in front of the victim] said.

"[Then] he calmly walks up to the front (of the bus) with the head in his hand and the knife and just calmly stares at us and drops the head right in front of us," Caton said.

After that, the passengers scrambled off the bus and locked the doors - leaving the homicidal maniac locked inside. According to MSNBC, CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) reports that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police took the killer into custody, but declined to provide any other details, including whether the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were actually riding horses.

In other scary Canada news, a mountain fell on the Sea-To-Sky highway connecting Whistler, home of the 2010 Winter Olympics, with Vancouver. The National Post reports that the jumble of rocks, made up of "boulders the size of small houses" has cut the ski resort off from the rest of the province. In appropriate beaurocratic fashion, the "provincial Transportation Minister said the highway will likely be closed for the next five days."

Scanner Verena's mother reports (in typical dramatic fashion) that all the gas stations in Whistler are out of gas - leaving those who would drive the back route (a romantic 10-hour excursion) out of, well, gas. She also reports that "food is running out!" and that she and her friends have chartered a small plane to escape. (For serious. Also: Canada is cheap.) There will undoubtedly be many more scintillating updates to come.

[via MSNBC, National Post]