Scanner : vice president

Joe Biden's Daughter Caught in Cocaine Scandal?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:46:00 GMT

Ashley Biden, the cute 27-year-old daughter of the Vice President is apparently this year's Kate Moss. Remember how someone secretly filmed the supermodel doing blow at Pete Doherty's recording session? The same thing happened to Ash, only it was at a party, she knew she was being filmed, and now the tape is about to fetch six figures...

If it's true. While we do believe a tape exists, so far no one's been able to prove the cokehead in the video is the First Daughter. Even the New York Post is unsure-- although, of course they milk the story for the little it's worth:

The woman appears to resemble Ashley Biden, 27, a social worker for a Delaware child-welfare agency...

[She] makes repeated references to the drugs, said the lawyers, who said they viewed the tape about 15 times.

"At one point she pretty much complains that the line isn't big enough," said the second lawyer, who declined to identify himself. "And she talks about her dad."

Biden has been an outspoken crusader against drugs, coining the term "drug czar" in 1982 while campaigning for a more forceful "war on drugs." [NY Post]

Whoever she is, she clearly has a drug problem. According to a variety of sources, the young woman on the tape uses a big red straw to snort up a boatload of coke before lashing out at people around her and telling them to "shut the fuck up." (It's also rumored that Biden's longtime boyfriend is pictured in the same frame as her, which would make the tape appear to be genuine.)

The douchebag who filmed all this tried initially to obtain $1.2 for the original, but has scaled back his greed to a mere $400,000. One report says two companies have offered well over six figures for the tape, but not the full 400 g's. Yet...

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Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Sarah Palin Elevated to GILF Status, or Bristol Palin Pops One Out

Emily Farris — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 20:33:00 GMT

Just yesterday we were commenting on the VPILF (Vice President I'd Like to Fuck) t-shirts blogger Rachel Kramer Bussel found and today we are pleased as punch to announce that our very own (well, ours, yours, Alaska's, Russia's) Sarah Palin is officially a GILF.

World, please welcome little baby Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, who, according to People was born a healthy 7 lbs. 7 oz. Saturday in Palmer, Alaska.

[People: Bristol Palin Welcomes a Son]

Sloppy Seconds: It's Hailin' Palin

Is Bristol Palin now Bristol Palin-Johnston?

We Will Totally Crap Our Pants if Bristol Palin Pops Out a Mixed Race Baby

Scandals Clinging To Sarah Palin Like Trig To Her Pantsuit

[Image via Gawker]

Drug Charges

Scanner Matt — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:14:00 GMT

Oh, that wacky, lovable Palin family... what have they got themselves into this time? Drugs? You betcha!

We never learned too much about Levi Johnston, except for a few gems of info found on his myspace page and the fact that he knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol. Here's an intimate look into his family life. The Anchorage Daily News reports Levi's mom was (ready?):

...arrested Thursday at her home by Alaska State Troopers with a search warrant in an undercover drug investigation. Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.

Troopers charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance -- generally manufacturing or delivering drugs -- as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.

When asked about the arrest, Palin's spokesman, Bill McAllister, issued the following statement by e-mail: "This is not a state government matter. Therefore the governor's communications staff will not be providing comment or scheduling interview opportunities."

And oh yeah, eighteen year-old Bristol Palin is likely due on Saturday.

Related:

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Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin..

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

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Is this guy the Barack Obama of the GOP? Um, no.

Scanner Matt — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:23:00 GMT

With the Republican Party in crisis many are looking for a new leader to win them back the throne in 2012 (does anyone really believe it will be Sarah Palin?). Thirty-six-year-old Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (short listed as a McCain VP nominee before the barracuda graced our lives) just might be the guy. He's surrounded by presidential buzz and—let's be honest—it wouldn't hurt the GOP if their conventions looked a little less like white supremacist rallies.

Piyush “Bobby” Jindal picked up his Anglo nickname from The Brady Bunch. Yes, that Bobby, seriously, which he commonly uses as his first name. He at first appears to be a very intelligent individual; he was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford.

But here’s the thing. He’s crazy.

Jindal supports teaching intelligent design in public schools.

He voted to make the Patriot Act permanent.

He’s a hardcore-let’s-flip-Roe-v.-Wade pro-lifer.

He’s against stem cell research.

Not only does he staunchly support “traditional marriage,” he opposes civil unions.

He supported a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning.

He’s against universal health care.

Watch out for this guy in 2012. He's sure to make an appearance.

Related:

Is The GOP Over Yet? A New Poll Seems To Think So...

The Election Is Over... And Now The Truth Comes Out

Photo/Wikipedia

Report: Obama Picks The First-Ever Black Attorney General

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:33:00 GMT

Newsweek's blog claims that the Barack Obama transition team has made a choice for Attorney General that, if true, is not only a big surprise but an historical choice similar voters made in picking their President...

The man's name is Eric Holder, and he is an African-American lawyer-- who has learned the ropes of-- yup-- Washington, DC.

President-elect Obama has decided to tap Eric Holder as his attorney general, putting the veteran Washington lawyer in place to become the first African-American to head the Justice Department, according to two legal sources close to the presidential transition.
Holder, who served as deputy attorney general during the Clinton administration, still has to undergo a formal “vetting” review by the Obama transition team before the selection is final and is publicly announced, said one of the sources, who asked not to be identified talking about the transition process. But in the discussions over the past few days, Obama offered Holder the job and he accepted, the source said. The announcement is not likely until after Obama announces his choices to lead the Treasury and State departments.

By the way, the reason you aren't hearing about this anywhere else yet is because the decision is not final. Holder has yet to formally accept a full vetting, which he will likely agree to. But there are reasons to believe this is true: Holder was, again, Deputy Attorney General, served on Obama's VP-selection team, and ironically, Holder has actually been Attorney General of the United States, albeit an acting one: in 2001, while the Senate debated the disastrous appointment of John Ashcroft, Holder continued to serve President George W. Bush.

Meanwhile, members of the Obama transition team are still mulling the possible appointment of Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State. They have to ask themselves whether Bill Cinton's financial dealings with foreign governments and hands-on approach to his wife's career could steal the future President's thunder. All signs point to Obama overruling these objections and nominating the Senator.

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While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Likes Short Shorts

Who is GQ's Man of the Year? (File Under: Duh)

While You Were Sleeping: Barack Obama's Big Move

The Election Is Over... And Now The Truth Comes Out

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:14:00 GMT

Sarah Palin doesn't know what countries are in North America. She can't name the countries that belong to NAFTA and she thinks Africa is a country, not a continent. Nor could she name most of the countries in North Africa. It's frightening to imagine how close this woman came to being second-in-command of the United States.

Here's a rundown of all the stories the McCain campaign is leaking about Sarah Palin in an effort to a) pin the blame on someone on b) to doom her 2012 chances, because God knows, even GOPers want nothing to do with this person...

1) Palin spent thousands of dollars more on her clothes-spending spree than was reported. She also charged some of the purchases to credit cards owned by staffers, who have not been reimbursed. One scorned aide quipped that it was "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," while another claims the real horrors will emerge once the RNC runs an audit. McCain, meanwhile, was kept in the dark about the real details, staffers claim, since he would surely have been offended by Palin's greed.

2) Steve Schmidt, the man who proposed Palin for VP, was the one who turned down her request to give a concession speech on Election Night. It's amazing to us that this Governor and national figure had no idea Vice Presidential candidates never make concession speeches.

3) Palin refused to prep for the Katie Couric interview, did not know that Africa is a continent, could not name the countries of North America or the ones belonging to NAFTA, and on and on.

4) Palin decided to go after the William Ayers issue without approval from the campaign's top people. McCain reportedly wanted nothing to do with the Ayers, Wright, and other "smear" angles-- so good for him.

5) To top it all off, Palin greeted McCain advisers in only a towel, telling the visitors they should hang out with Todd, whom Newsweek calls "laconic," while she prepared herself.

Meanwhile, the truth about McCain's inner circle emerges as well:

1) McCain's advisers got together prior to the final debate and agreed the election was over but that they shouldn't tell their candidate that.

2) McCain still doesn't understand why one of his heroes, John Lewis, went after him publicly.

And other interesting tidbits, according to Newsweek, about Obama:

1) He considered the debate format a terrible environment in which to personally shine as a candidate, even taking a dig at Brian Williams for his "dumb" global warming question.

2) Obama's team shot down all of his arguments for considering Hillary as VP. Meanwhile, as we already knew, McCain and Clinton talked on the phone earlier in the campaign because they were so chummy, another reason to make the Obama campaign nervous.

3) During the period of unrest at Palin-McCain rallies, the Secret Service warned the Obamas about an uptick in death threats and other eerie warnings. "Why would they try to make people hate us?" Michelle asked. Welcome to Republican campaign tactics, Madame First Lady.

See more expanded versions of these at the Newsweek site.

New World Resolutions

The Election Ain't Over Yet...

Top 10 Reasons To Vote For Obama

Real or Fake? Nude Photos of Obama's Mother

The Sarah Palin Porno... Revealed

Gonzo Porn Director Slapped With 4 Years In Prison By Un-American Tampa Court

While You Were Sleeping: Jennifer Aniston's Big News

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Janet Jackson canceled the rest of her tour. Wow, she's really going downhill fast, isn't she?

James Bond goes to... Bollywood?

Cheech and Chong want you to vote today. And no, this isn't some Republican trick pulled on our inner-cities.

The National Review, bitter as always, says the youth vote only made up 18% of the total vote. Yes, douceheads, but what about the actual number of youth voters?

And so it begins: the McCain campaign is letting loose on Sarah Palin. My God, if this corrupt and greedy individual had ever become Vice President...

Adam Shulman. Adam Shulman. Adam Shulman-- that's the name of Anne Hathaway's new boyfriend. Curses!

And Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. Little John Mayer's, you think?

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Scandals Clinging To Sarah Palin Like Trig To Her Pantsuit

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Forgive the obnoxious headline-- we're serious that Sarah Palin is becoming bogged down in scandals.

Troopergate is, of course, the one investigation she hasn't been able to talk her way out of. With that hanging over her and threatening to derail the McCain campaign, a second major revelation broke last night, one that probably won't change any hearts or minds about the Republican VP candidate...

Palin's power-crazed tenure as the very popular Governor of a heavily Republican state has seen a pattern of ethical lapses and outright abuses of power, topped by this one: According to an Associated Press investigation, Palin is believed to have:

1) charged the state of Alaska for expenses incurred, including airline tickets, to transport her children to their father's snowmobile race.

2) amended her expense reports to falsely claim the children (and the family, of course) were actually on these kinds of outings as part of "state business."

3) charged the state for a trip to New York she took with Bristol that including a five-day stay in a high-priced hotel... all for a five-hour leadership conference in the city that took place on only one of those days.

4) when reporters began inquiries as part of this investigation, Palin allegedly ordered unspecified reports altered, usually adding either "First Family attending" or "First Family invited" in an attempt to justify the presence of her family even when the family had not been requested by event organizers.

It was also noted that Palin's tax records has already raised questions because the family did not report its reimbursed travel costs as income.

The article is rather extensive and includes expanded meditations on these allegations. Read it in its entirety here.

Meanwhile, Palin is expected to give a deposition in the Troopergate investigation at Friday's hearing.

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Debate #4: McCain Blinks, Misses His Chance

Anna Wintour: A Political Prophet?

Emily Farris — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:15:00 GMT

Does Vogue editor Anna Wintour think the election already happened? Or does she know something we don't? Because in an upcoming issue, she's chronicled generations of women in the Vice President's family. But—correct us if we're wrong—we don't have a Vice President yet.

Not that we dislike the way she thinks....

Ladies and gentlemen, the Biden ladies.

It is a Sunday morning in early September, and Jill Biden is standing with wet hair and no makeup in the middle of her kitchen, eating yogurt out of a plastic container. Her toenails are painted red, and she has the perfect late-summer tan. She's wearing dark-blue, skinny, non-mom jeans and an untucked blue button-down. Around her neck is a tangle of delicate gold jewelry and tiny pearls; from one chain hangs a little horseshoe made of diamonds. She smiles and laughs a lot, and when she does her deep-blue eyes flash with excitement. It takes only a few minutes of being in her company to understand why vice-presidential nominee Joe Biden somewhat controversially introduced his wife at the Democratic National Convention in August as "drop-dead gorgeous." Dr. Jill Biden—mother of three, political wife, college professor—exudes the confidence of a woman who has come into her own and is enjoying her moment. At 57, she looks much younger, partly owing to her daily five-mile runs. Her entire family seems to place great value on fitness. In fact, right behind her, hanging on the fridge with a magnet, is the cover of Time magazine featuring middle-aged aquatic wonder woman Dara Torres. Someone has written across her six-pack in black Magic Marker: OUR HERO.

[Vogue: All the Vice President's Women]

While You Were Sleeping: Obama Narrows His Choices

BREAKING: John McCain Picks Embattled Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin For VP

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Once you read this family's story, you won't have much to complain about anymore.

Joe Biden's mother-in-law died. The Senator has canceled most of his upcoming events. Meanwhile, seven members of the Palin administration (gack! no, we mean her administration in Alaska, don't worry) agreed to testify in the Troopergate investigation. They'll probably say they didn't know anything about the unethical firing; after all, everyone who actually knows something is refusing to cooperate.

Tonight, VH1 broadcasts the Hip Hop Honors, with awards going to Cypress Hill, Isaac Hayes, Naughty By Nature, and De La Soul, among other legends.

Kimbo Slice got knocked down... and out... in a few seconds.

Mischa Barton hasn't learned anything from her most recent nipple slip.

This 25-year-old teacher learned the hard way that you shouldn't send people naked photos over the internet for any reason. Well, you should, but you shouldn't be surprised if people don't keep them private.

And it sounds like Indiana Jones 5 may be on. Not that it's going to be any good, but hey... somebody's still watching this nonsense...

Mischa Barton's Nip Slip

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Junior High Teacher Charged With... Oh My...

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The Veep Deba(cle): Why Everybody Loses

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 14:59:00 GMT

If this had been a job interview, Joe Biden would have been passed over for not saying anything about himself or calling Palin on her fabrications and Palin would have been passed over for hardly answering any of the moderator's direct questions.

Why Biden Lost:

1. He spoke too often and for too long about his Senate history, sending people across the country to their respective bathrooms and fridges.

2. He spoke more about what Barack Obama would do and not enough about his own feelings on the issues.

3. He let Palin have all but a free ride throughout. The Democrats, as usual, were too sensitive to whatever charge is being leveled at them by their opponents and Fox News (in this case, "Democrats are sexist; they're being too hard on Sarah Palin.") Biden missed opportunities to call Palin out for avoiding moderator Gwen Ifill's direct questions by always changing the subject ("but I want to go back to...") Of course, if Biden had treated her as an equal-- gasp!-- and attacked her as he would have attacked a Joe Lieberman or a Mitt Romney, there would have been an uproar and Biden would have come off, at least in the eyes of some people, as "mean."

Why Palin Lost:

1. Instead of answering questions, as we previously mentioned, she ducked them and brought the discussion back to her talking points...

2. ...proving that she hasn't learned anything these past weeks. Those pundits who said she had "improved" are oblivious to the fact that she hadn't changed at all-- the format had been changed. There's a big difference between Couric's "can you name another Supreme Court case besides Roe v. Wade that you disagree with?" and Ifill's sort-of "what do you think?" freestyling that let Palin off the hook. In a real town hall, or with a moderator who had the guts to press her when she avoided questions, the Governor would've been a goner.

3. She pushed the "just folks" style so hard, it came off as phony. CNN's focus group of a undecided Ohio voters gave her negative marks when she brought out the "darn it's" and "God bless 'im's."

But they didn't fight to a standstill. Despite all this, the public did see a clear winner in Biden, by a margin of 51 to 36. But Biden could have mopped the floor with her if he had pulled the lid off on her strategy of fight toward the middle-- or fighting toward competency, if you will. And, of course, if the public thought Palin lost, Palin lost. There's no getting around that.

On CBS, Sharyl Atkinson said:

"By a margin of two to one, 46% of our uncommitted voters thought Biden won, 21% Palin, 33% saw it as a tie. More importantly, perhaps, how many of those uncommitted voters made up their mind as a result of the debate. 18% told us they are now committed to Obama. 10% now committed to McCain and 71% still uncommitted."

This was a perfect chance for the Obama camp to bring in undecided voters-- Palin is a sitting duck, just waiting to be taken down. 71% say it was a blown opportunity...

Photo via Reuters.

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Do Ten Shots Every Time Biden Mentions Indians And 7-11

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:51:00 GMT

We know the debate is tomorrow, but we wanted to tell you about MIT's hilarious drinking game (this one, unlike the previous incarnation, is actually doable) so you can stock up now on select booze... or Slurpee's... which is, of course, bigot Biden's favorite beverage...

Professor Robert alerted us to the Vice Presidential Debate drinking game... because you know you're going to need to be very, very loose to sit through all that insanity. In fact, we're betting that John McCain is going to be so nervous, he'll lose a vodka drinking contest to himself before you-know-who, the Republican VP nominee (in case you haven't noticed, I, Scanner Brian, have decided to refrain from further mentioning her already-overexposed name) even gets to answer any questions with total silence.

Here are some of the better ideas from those smarty pantses at MIT:

When Biden begins the “I take the train home everyday story” being drinking. Don’t stop ’till he finishes.
When Biden makes an obvious gaffe: Spill your neighbor’s drink
When Biden patronizes or self identifies with the working class: Down some brew (Bonus points if you use Miller Highlife)
Every time [SP] cites Alaska’s proximity to Russia as “foreign policy experience”: Take a shot of vodka
When Palin claims she said “Thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere: Demand a new drink from your hosts, say “thanks but no thanks,” and then when no one’s looking, take it anyway, then claim you never wanted it.

The rest are here. We personally think you're going to need a lot of vodka for this one... especially if you're a Democrat. The expectations for She Who Must Not Be Named that she can't possibly lose this... think about it.

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BREAKING: John McCain Picks Embattled Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin For VP

Dolly Parton for Vice President!

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:27:00 GMT

You know, if we're going to elect a bubbly woman with big hair and an even bigger personality to the While House, shouldn't it be a woman we love and respect, like Dolly Parton? In fact, shouldn't it just be Dolly Parton? Can we forget all of this white man vs. black man vs. white haired man vs. woman business and just elect someone that everybody in the entire world loves?

No?

Well, can we at least rent an RV and go to Dollywood after we see the musical adaptation of 9 to 5 (one of the best movies ever) on Broadway? Because we have a feeling we're going to be pretty bummed in a few months, and we're going to need somone like Dolly to cheer us up.

Almost 30 years after starring in the movie "9 to 5" and writing its hit theme song, country star Dolly Parton's first stage musical gets its world premiere in Los Angeles on Saturday before heading for Broadway.

Parton, 62, wrote 17 new songs for "9 to 5: The Musical" -- a comedy set in 1979 about three female office workers who turn the tables on their sexist, male boss.

Despite having 26 hit singles and writing the classic "I Will Always Love You", "9 to 5: The Musical" is Parton's first stab at writing lyrics and music for a full stage musical.

"I found it more enjoyable than I thought. You have more freedom than when you write a song ... usually it's a couple of verses and chorus and a bridge and you have to keep it down to about three minutes in order to get radio play," Parton told Reuters on Thursday.
"I just wrote until I said what I felt the character should say. I was very pleased it came out as good as it did because I wasn't sure if I could even do it," she said.

Have we died and gone to musical theater heaven?

Count us in. We will do whatever it takes to get close to this show, even if it means working as a bathroom attendant.

[Reuters: Dolly Parton reworks "9 to 5" for first musical]

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Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:55:00 GMT

There are so many nude photos of "Sarah Palin" floating around the web, photos that are either of Palin's head on some unknown model's body or Julia Louis-Dreyfus's. Readers previously debated this very question, unprovoked, in our first post of the supposed leaked photos, all of which are doctored or mislabeled in some way.

Now, we're going to ask you for real, with four naked photos of our next (Vice?) President to fight over...

Set of four photos via Fleshbot.

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Real or Fake: Nude Sarah Palin Photo?

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While You Were Sleeping: Ciara's Naked Vibe Cover

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:43:00 GMT

We still have a long way to go, baby: gay marriage is not equal to straight marriage in California and Massachusetts... at least when it comes to taxes.

Inspired by Radiohead's slap at the record industry, Michael Moore will post his next movie online for free. We think it's called "Sicko II: The John McCain Story."

And aren't we past this, especially with a female Vice Presidential candidate on the Republican ticket?

Kacy Stuart, a freshman at New Creation Center, a private Christian school, had practiced as a kicker for two months before being told by Hank St. Denis, executive board chairman of the Georgia Football League, that she would not be permitted to play.
Her mother vows to take the League to court.

A new study indicates there is no link between those who are given the measles vaccine and autism.

Check out Screengrab's amusing look at the top films about school for the R-rated crowd.

The Governor of Texas is weighing whether he should stay the execution of an inmate. The inmate's trial, by the way, was marred by the relationship (sexual!) between the prosecutor and the judge. Oh, and here's a little Texas justice for ya: the Governor knows the inmate's appeals hearing is scheduled for after the inmate's scheduled execution.

We saw a headline scrolling along a building this morning: Breaking news: 84,000 new unemployed filings in August; rate jumps to 6.1%. Can't be good for the McCain campaign to wake up to after that speech.

Isn't that a bizarre cover? If the McCain campaign can fool people into thinking Tina Fey is actually his VP, he's got it all locked up...

And Ciara dishes on her relationship with 50 Cent on an (all nude) cover story for Vibe...

Video of the Day: Tracy Morgan Responds to Tina Fey on SNL

Who Would You Rather?: Evangeline Lilly In A Manshirt or Tina Fey Scarfing A Sandwich

The Next Big Star: Marisol Nichols

Howard Schatz Reminds Us How Much Steamier Sex Is Underwater

Sloppy Seconds: Woman Who Delivered Baby In Car For VP?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Would you guzzle five kilos of chili-spaghetti for fame and glory? In Ohio?

It's like the 21st century version of that football quiz scene from Diner: the videogamer who programmed his girlfriend's game to propose to her for him when she reached a high score has gotten married.

John Mayer is wisely avoiding dating celebrities, at least for now.

How do you end a two-month world tour in West Palm Beach? If you’re John Mayer, with a beautiful blonde cocktail waitress waiting in the wings. While stealing glances backstage at the striking blonde during his mic breaks, Mayer was definitely in party mode at the packed final show of the tour at the Cruzan Amphitheater...

James Gandolfini got married over the weekend in Hawaii. Strangely, we didn't hear any Fox News anchors attacking him for vacationing in this time of great crisis.

Why didn't McCain pick this woman, who delivered her own baby in her car, for VP?

Smokey and The Bandit star and singer Jerry Reed has died.

Kids in Chicago skipped school... to protest school funding.

Anything Gisele Bundchen does in a magazine is apparently news.

Anything Britney Spears doesn't do in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.

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Real or Fake: Nude Sarah Palin Photo?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:02:00 GMT

Sarah Palin is already an historic figure. As the first female on a Republican Presidential ticket, she will never be forgotten... or, when it comes to Democratic bloggers, forgiven.

They have already spread rumors of her having lied about her fifth child's true origins, attacked her fitness to be President, Troopergate, etc. etc. Now the McCain-Palin campaigns deny the following nude photo is of Palin (allegedly from her beauty pageant days):

It's either her or Julia Louis-Dreyfus. In fact, we're pretty damn sure it's Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who is currently getting her biggest career boost since Seinfeld. In fact the above two photos are both clearly fakes...

The picture emerged hours after Sarah was named as Republican John McCain's running-mate, and has been used by hundreds of websites and blogs.
Sarah’s camp, however, insists that the picture is fake, reports News of the World.
Other forged snaps of Sarah are also said to have also fuelled the frenzy on the net since the relative unknown was pushed into the Presidential spotlight. Sarah, who married her high-school sweetheart Todd and now has four kids, was once a teenage beauty queen in her home state of Alaska. [Sify]

Here's one that we're pretty sure is real. Hot or not?

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What'll Happen To Sarah Palin?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:02:00 GMT

This is nothing against Sarah Palin-- after all, all GOP candidates are a little bit frightening, a little bit awesome in their determination and genuine will to make the world a better place-- but is she doomed?

No one here in Minneapolis is even talking about the convention. Every conversation at every restaurant in town is centered around one question: what's going to happen to Governor Palin, what with all these rumors and controversies that are swirling around her...

First, there was this e-mail, which we received from reader profrobert on Friday, alerting us to the possibility that Palin's fifth daughter, born less than five months ago, is not hers.

But what would be even more incredible is if it's NOT true: http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634

This means her water broke in Texas. She hung around to give a 30-minute speech. She then went to the airport and GOT ON A PLANE. TO ALASKA. I don't know where she was in Texas, but DFW-ANC non-stop is a seven-hour flight.

He makes a great point: who is this person who has her water break and then waits around not only to give a speech but for a plane to take her across most of the entire fucking continent. Her husband claims that a) they just wanted the baby to be 100% Alaskan and b) that his daughter's five month or so absence from school was the result of a bad case of mono. Suuuuuuure it was...

So, of course, the liberal blogosphere goes batshit over the story but no mainstream media outlet wants anything to do with it. Gustav sweeps Palin off the front pages, then the RNC delay further buries the rumors. Meanwhile, Palin is at a rally where she doesn't address the rumors but causes another stir by saying:

“Then we have our daughter Bristol, she’s on the bus with the newborn, and then we have our daughter Willow, who is here, and our youngest daughter Piper,” Ms. Palin said as she introduced her family. “On that bus we have our son, Trig, who is a beautiful baby boy we welcomed into the world just in April..."

Of course, Palin's phrasing would've been completely normal under any other circumstances. But conspiracy theorists flipped again, saying Palin wasn't even saying the words "her" and "baby" one after the other, implying that perhaps Palin is setting herself up to eventually confess to lying. Meanwhile, photos showing that Palin had no baby bump during her pregnancy were all deleted from the Governor's official websites. (We are trying our best to stay out of this, but must add that we defy anyone to locate photos of Palin in the nine months leading up to April 2008 in which she appears pregnant. As soon as an un-Photoshopped photo comes our way, we'll believe her version of the events.)

Then, the bigger story: Palin announces the same daughter is currently five month's pregnant, thus ruling out the possibility of Bristol having already given birth just a few months ago. And while we believe this, again, it doesn't rule out the possibility that Palin is lying: after all, no one is going to ask her to prove conception date. For all we know, she's really only a few months pregnant and that, by the time the baby's born, it will be too late for anyone to stop Palin from becoming Vice President because of the lie. (Side note: Bristol's boyfriend is a self-proclaimed "redneck" who says on his MySpace profile that he doesn't want kids. Wonderful.)

Meanwhile, the Troopergate story (as winking bloggers are referring to it), the mere mention of which earned us a drubbing from her supporters in a previous post, has knocked the pregnancy story off the front pages, albeit for a fairly innocus reason: Palin just now hired a lawyer to defend her in the two-month old investigation. Hmmm....

In any case, the liberal HuffPo has realized Palin is a weak spot on the ticket (we've heard that from numerous fence sitters among the Minneapolis public.) Here's what their front page looked like in the wee hours of this morning:

... TOP GOP GOVERNOR: I'VE HEARD NO DISCUSSION ABOUT REMOVING MS. PALIN FROM THE TICKET ...

'Fringe' Alaskan Secessionist Party: Palin Was A Member... Almost Recalled As Mayor... Directed Fundraising For Indicted Senator's 527... Troopergate Scandal... Calls Iraq A War For Oil... Admits She Hasn't 'Really Focused On Iraq'... Alaska National Guard General: Palin Plays No Role In National Defense... 17 Year-Old Daughter Pregnant...

Also, did you guys hear the Fox News commentator and others pick up the talking point that Palin has "national security experience" because Alaska is "so close to" Russia? What? That's like saying Scanner Nicole and I have foreign policy experience because we're located near Denmark.

All this adds up to one thing: Palin, as a VP candidate, is in trouble. The rumors we're hearing from reliable GOP sources center on two possibilities: 1) Palin may drop out, citing family commitments, and time this withdrawal so that McCain's second choice will be accepted without question by GOP leadership, for fear of losing the election if they don't immediately unite or 2) Palin will continue to cause McCain problems to the point where he will drop Palin himself, but in favor of a female candidate or even Joe Lieberman.

While both seem highly unlikely events, either of them is much less far-fetched now than they were even 24 hours ago...

We'll have more on this story during the next two days of convention coverage...

EXCLUSIVE: McCain-Palin Internal Talking Points Memo Leaked To Scanner

Scanner Roundtable: What Did We Think About The DNC & Obama's Speech?

RNC Day One: Total Anarchy

EXCLUSIVE: McCain-Palin Internal Talking Points Memo Leaked To Scanner

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:22:00 GMT

In a Scanner Exclusive, here we present talking points released by McCain HQ just a few minutes ago, albeit with insignificant word changes to protect the identity of the staffer who leaked them to us...

(This staffer, at their request, wanted to note that they are unhappy with McCain's choice because Palin is too inexperienced to be President.) Among the highlights, which should give us an idea of how McCain plans to use Palin, you will note there is no mention of Hillary Clinton or women voters. As you may recall from our earlier post, McCain's #1 reason for choosing Palin is her gender.

Instead, the memo discusses how Palin and McCain are both reformers and independents and that the problem is Washington, not a Republican President or a Democratic Congress. Here is the full text:

TALKING POINTS: MCCAIN-PALIN '08

McCain-Palin: Team Of Mavericks To Change Washington

Barack Obama has been running for president ever since he was elected to the Senate, but

Sarah Palin is a governor with a record of achieving results for Alaska. Obama's "experience" is running for political office;

Governor Palin's experience is bringing people together to get things done.

The Obama-Biden ticket is big on talk. The McCain-Palin ticket is big on results. To change Washington, it's going to take a team of Mavericks who have a record of accomplishment in shaking up the status quo. Last night we heard a negative, partisan speech from Barack Obama. He made the argument that if we have Democratic one party rule, our problems will be solved.

For those who think that the Democratic Congress has done a great job over the past two years, Barack Obama might be right.

But John McCain has made the case that the problem isn't a Republican Administration or a Democratic Congress, the problem is Washington.

Governor Palin: A Tough Executive With Record Of Results

Governor Palin is a tough executive who has demonstrated during her time in office that she is ready to be president. She has brought Republicans and Democrats together within her Administration and has seen approval ratings of over 80 percent.

1) She has challenged the influence of the big oil companies while fighting for the development of new energy resources.

2) She leads a state that matters to every one of us --

Alaska has significant energy resources and she has been a leader in the fight for America's energy independence.

· She has actually used her veto and cut budgetary spending. And she put a stop to the bridge to nowhere that would have cost taxpayers $400 million dollars.

· In Alaska, she challenged a corrupt system and passed a landmark ethics reform bill.

· As the head of Alaska's National Guard and as the mother of a soldier herself, Governor Palin understands what it takes to lead our nation and she understands the importance of supporting our troops.

Governor Palin has a record of accomplishment that Barack Obama simply doesn't have. She has spent her time in office shaking up government in Alaska. Barack Obama has spent his time in office running for President.

Her experience in shaking up the status quo is exactly what we need in Washington.

In choosing Governor Palin, John McCain put Washington on notice that he is serious about shaking up the status quo.

What we're seeing is a maverick who has shaken up Washington picking as his teammate a maverick governor who has shaken up her own state.

[end of transmission]

What do we think about this internal memo? Surprised by their angle? Do you think they're asking for unintentional laughter by claiming Palin, a big supporter of American oil companies, cares this much about energy independence? Let us know your reaction in the comments.

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BREAKING: John McCain Picks Embattled Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin For VP

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:10:00 GMT

When ~~Tina Fey wannabe~~ Sarah Palin flew overnight to Ohio without telling her closest aides, the AP and others new the jig was up...

Palin has been in trouble in Alaska in recent weeks for the usual Republican cronyism: firing the guy who refused to fire Palin's sister's ex-husband from a state job. Besides that, there are several factors about this choice that must be taken into account:

1) Palin is three years younger than Obama, which makes McCain look foolish for ever saying anything about Obama's inexperience.

2) Palin has only been Governor of Alaska for two years and has zero foreign policy or any other real experience. See above.

3) This is an obvious slap at Obama's choice of Joe Biden, since Hillary supporters are already moving toward McCain in absurd numbers.

A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Sunday shows 27 percent of Clinton supporters backing McCain. With 18 million voters having turned out in the primaries for Clinton, McCain could pick up as many as 5 million additional votes, enough to potentially swing a few crucial states.

Ultimately, especially since Biden's selection did nothing for Obama's numbers (early polls indicate he lost national support between the announcement of Biden as the VP and the start of the convention) and was a very telling mistake on multiple levels, the selection of Palin makes this McCain's race to lose and re-positions Obama as a major underdog.

We'll have more as the story is confirmed and Palin is announced at a press conference at noon...

UPDATE: Almost every media outlet is confirming the story and saying that they are 100% sure it will be Palin. Also, for more on Palin, check out this hilarious piece in the Huffington Post from back in May about the possibility of Palin as the next Dick Cheney...

UPDATE: Check out this in-depth analysis of the Palin pick. The writer is against the choice but is balanced about his political views. Also, here's more on the Palin ethics scandal, if you don't believe us. Could it become a liability for McCain? Highly unlikely, at least until after November.

While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:42:00 GMT

Wonderful: right as Michael Lohan is tearing his daughter's life apart, his father dies. Maybe Michael will reassess his values now that the guy had to go out right in the middle of an embarrassingly public family dispute.

We missed out on Michael Phelps giving swimming lessons at the Y.

Is David Duchovny having an affair of just trying to promote his show, Californication, with this latest shocking report?

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. [His reps] declined to elaborate further.
Duchovny plays a sex-obsessed character on the Showtime series...

In Other News:

John McCain will announce his VP today in a bad to take Obama down a notch after last night's historic speech.

Talk about historic: a man proposed to his lady at Mile High, right as Al Gore took the stage-- and Wonkette was sitting right behind them!

BREAKING: The RNC is considering delaying the start of the convention because of Hurricane Gustav... they don't want a reminder of Katrina hanging over their convention... Scott McClellan thinks this will allow Bush to blow off the convention unnoticed, since he is a political liability anyway... read more at the Washington Post.

By the way, this is the greatest post you'll read all day. Even if you don't agree with its politics, you'll certainly (we hope) agree that sicko religious zealots should be laughed out of stadiums everywhere:

Y'all remember the AP report of a "short video produced by Focus on the Family Action shows a man with an umbrella talking about his wish for rain as he stands in front of Invesco Field [before Obama spoke there]. The man in the video explains his desire for rain by saying he's against abortion and gay marriage and says he's "just an ordinary guy" who's looking for people to pray for rain?"

And y'all remember how hurricane Katrina was supposed to be God's punishment for New Orleans sinful ways?

So what will y'all think if next week's Republican Convention (yawn) is eclipsed by landfall in the US of not one but two hurricanes?

Y'all think there's a lesson in there somewhere? [End of post - Ed.]

A school district near Atlanta lost its accreditation, the first such case in 40 years, mainly for ethics violations by board members.

And Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potsmoker movies, is doing his first stripping/naked/sex scene-- or something like that. He's "stripping off for"

his first sex scene for Cherry Bomb and is excited about the flick.
'I loved the script,' he tells The Metro. 'It was quite a challenge.'

Getting naked is nothing, Rupert. Hell, Daniel Radcliffe does that every night. (PS: Hmmm... Cherry Bomb, you say? How can we be sure it's not some Virgin Teens Dot Com movie or something?)

Image via AOL.

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Michael Phelps Dresses... Up?

Who Would You Rather: Keeley Hazell or Sara Boberg?

Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Strip clubs in Denver are reporting a decline in business... just since the DNC began.

Why is anyone surprised Axl Rose doesn't bother with pickup lines? If we were him, we wouldn't either... although, um, we probably still wouldn't put it quite like he did.

Scariest headline of the day, via CNN: Airline removes life vests to lighten load

Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder and "i.am" John Legend join obvious choice will.i.am to close out tonight's convention.

We barely even remember hearing about this movie, and now it's getting a sequel?

Your boyhood idols: where are they now?

Just in case, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty has canceled his weekend interviews.

Kimora Lee Simmons denies she's pregnant. Meaning someone reportedly cared enough to print that she may have been.

Do you believe this story:

Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone has accused Demi Moore of deliberately squirting breast milk at his gay friends.

We don't.

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Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

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While You Were Sleeping: Obama Narrows His Choices

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:34:00 GMT

Bloc Party is so eager to beat illegal file sharing, they're releasing their new album online, three months ahead of the hard-copy release.

Rihanna and Pink will join the Jonas Brothers and Kid Rock at the VMA's. Still no confirmation on whether Britney Spears will repeat last year's travesty (oh please oh please oh please.)

Blake Lively and Leighton Meester do indeed hate each other. Sort of...

He says, "There are obviously always little dramas. You are on set for 16 hours, so people get irritable. In any workplace there are always little things and frustrations.
"Leighton and Blake could not be more different from each other but as far as I know there has never been any real difficulty. We are all good friends and we go out socially together."

Zuma, Zuma! Gwen Stefani gave birth to a miniature Gavin.

Gossip surrounding Barack Obama's choice for Vice President has all but exploded in the past 12 hours. Here's the latest:

1) An overwhelming number of people say either a) Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine is out or b) he's doing an amazing job of looking busy for the next two days, when he would be surely needed to make public appearances with the Senator.

2) Joe Biden flew family members across the country for a powwow at the Biden Delaware compound. He's also "stopped talking to the media."

3) Hillary Clinton avoided reporters and their questions about the VP pick, saying the press should contact Obama's campaign instead.

John McCain, meanwhile, is having a grand ol' time with the media: first, it seemed certain he would choose Charlie Crist. Earlier this week, Joe Lieberman was the odds-on favorite. Today, it's Mitt Romney-- with rumors of an 8/31 Michigan rally seeming to back up the possibility of Romney versus anyone else. (By the time he makes the announcement, we're pretty sure Condi will be back in the running. Hell, maybe even Cheney, just for laughs.)

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Scanner Roundtable: Who's Your VP?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:59:00 GMT

He'll always be our VP... Grandpa Charles W. Fairbanks...

And we mean anyone: Hillary Clinton, Dick Cheney, Martin Sheen, Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords, whoever...

And hurry... Obama's announcement could come at any time, and then you'd only get to pick for McCain...

With seven of the most-named running mates listed to speak at the Republican National Convention, the veepstakes over John McCain’s vice presidential running mate is anyone’s guess.

The convention line-up, which will be held in St. Paul, Minn., from Sept. 1-4, features Connecticut Independent Democratic Sen. Joe Lieberman on the first night; former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge and Alaska Gov. Sara Palin on the scond night; former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on the third night; and Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and Florida Gov. Charlie Crist on the last night.

The third night is the night the vice presidential nominee will give his acceptance speech. Other speakers that night include Cindy McCain, former eBay CEO Meg Whitman and former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina. [FoxNews]
CBS News has confirmed that Barack Obama's campaign now plans to announce Obama's vice presidential choice to supporters via email and text message on Friday afternoon. (This plan could change, of course.)

He will then appear with his running mate at noon the next day in Springfield, Illinois, CBS News chief political consultant Marc Ambinder reports.

Media reports today have suggested that Indiana Senator Evan Bayh, Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine and Delaware Senator Joseph Biden as the names now atop Obama's list. [CBS]

So, if you had a write-in vote in this "process," who would you pick?

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Scanner Survey: What About the VP?

Hey Everyone: Let's Totally Punk Our Friends By Text Message!

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:49:00 GMT

Wonkette had the brilliant idea today to use an online texting service to fake out all the Obama supporters and other political junkies who signed up to get a message announcing the campaign's official Vice Presidential selection.

Let's try it out on everyone we know... and see if we can get one of them to spread the news around, causing utter chaos and maybe even some hilarious press coverage...

First, go here if you're texting a Verizon customer. (If not, skip to the next bolded text.)

https://text.vzw.com/customer_site/jsp/messaging_lo.jsp

In the "Send To:" box, enter the number of the Verizon customer friend of yours. Don't know anybody political that has Verizon? (Yeah, most of our friends have iPhones or are voting Bob Barr.) Just enter a random number, maybe it'll go through. We tried someone who doesn't have Verizon; as far as we know, they haven't gotten it. (Either that, or they're currently alerting the media that Obama chose Michael Phelps.)

If you don't know a Verizon customer, you can try this, although we can't vouch for it. (Sprint/Nextel may work here.)

Make sure to enter 62262 as the From and Reply To, although you can probably put a fake phone number in the Call Back field.

Let us know if you come up with anything funny to say. Otherwise, we'll keep waiting by our phones for the real announcement to come our way...

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Rumor: Obama About To Announce VP Choice

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Rumor: Obama About To Announce VP Choice

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:12:00 GMT

We are hearing stories that the state of Virginia held an emergency meeting because the whole state is about to be thrown into chaos following Obama's VP announcement...

A source inside the beltway informed me that high ranking officials throughout Virginia were recently summoned to the governor’s office for an emergency meeting which reportedly involved discussions on the line of succession if and when Kaine steps down to become Obama’s running mate.

The officials were mandated to leave an out-of-state conference and return to the state capitol in Richmond immediately.

Due to the confidential nature of the meeting, details are scarce but the source said that either Obama will choose Kaine, or Kaine was given the impression that he would be chosen.

Kaine, of course, says he couldn't believe he'd even be considered, "for a variety of reasons." Could the variety include the fact that Kaine dropped the ball when he gave the Democratic response to the 2006 State of the Union, which is the #1 Classic Example of Democrats being pitched an easy home run and bunting it down the third base line. The man is a Democrat in name only, brings nothing to the table except maybe a few thousands votes in Virginia (at best), and is next in line. He also long supported the Iraq War-- longer even than Hillary Clinton, who would somehow be a better choice.

Anyway, you can read more about the Kaine nod here or about his past here.

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The John Edwards Affair And Love Child Scandal: The Sequel

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:50:00 GMT

John Edwards, two-time Presidential candidate and John Kerry's Vice-Presidential pick in 2004, has been dogging a sex scandal for months, since December 2007, in fact. Now, as polls continue to show the former Senator as the most effective running mate for Obama (in terms of which states he helps pick up), his chances at a second nomination for VP is in serious jeopardy following these latest allegations...

According to the National Enquirer-- wait, stop. This is a serious story, being picked up by mainstream media, that comes from the National Enquirer? Well, it's not exactly trustworthy until you find out they're claiming they did their own reporting on this, following Edwards around and even attempting to corner him in a bathroom for a photo.

A team of ENQUIRER reporters caught the married ex-senator visiting his mistress and secret love child late Monday night at the Beverly Hilton hotel in Los Angeles hotel.

...Edwards got out of the passenger side, walked around the front of the car and went in a side entrance near the swimming pool. [A friend of both Edwards and his alleged mistress rented two rooms and, the Enquirer claims, stayed in one of the rooms alone so the couple could spend time alone.]
Edwards' advisers are "spitting mad and furious" that his late-night escapades have made international headlines because it could derail his chances of becoming Barack Obama's running mate. Edwards has not explained his whereabouts to any members of other news media outlets who have been trying to follow up on the story.

His mistress, blonde divorcee Rielle, meanwhile... is "in despair" that Edwards might cut off contact with her because their latest rendezvous has been exposed in the media.

You may recall that this story came and went during the run-up to the Iowa caucuses. First, the love child allegations surfaced; soon after, they were "buried" when a close (married) friend of Edwards' came forward to say, "Hey, wait a minute. It was actually me." The story quickly vanished from even the conservative blogosphere, although no one seemed to believe it. We all acted like the detective does when a death row inmate takes a rap for somebody else-- he may have his suspicions but he's happy just to close the case and move on.

Word on the blogs is that, by the time you're reading this, most major media will cover it-- at least with reservations similar to the ones we voiced in the second paragraph of this post. We'll have more later on...

Via the National Enquirer.

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Obama VP List Down To Top 20

Top 5 Things Obama Should Do Now

Obama Turns Hillary Down

McCain Talks Of His Imaginary Friend Obama

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:30:00 GMT

John McCain, who is running for President against himself and all he stands for, held a Town Hall meeting on ultra-liberal media outlet Fox News yesterday and challenged imaginary friend Barack Obama to a duel:

“I think this town hall meeting would have been a little more interesting if Senator Obama had accepted my request,” McCain said to applause.

To confused applause, that is, as most of the audience, if they are supporting someone as crazy as John McCain, probably have never heard of a man named Senator Obama...

Meanwhile, the mysterious and publicity-shy Barack Obama has taken up a nefarious habit, one which will down him in anti-tobacco strongholds like New York and California, where John McCain will now surely win.

Another setback came in the form of Ohio Governor Ted Strickland, who will refuse a VP slot, even if it's forced upon him. Can McCain win Ohio now, too? Damn, this could be a landslide....

McCain To Find His VP On Google

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:15:00 GMT

John McCain discovers the Internet, circa June 11, 2008.

While Barack Obama is going to find his VP slot with a committee of top-notch strategists and select from a list of 20 folks, John McCain is using an innovative new technology known as "Googling."

Republican presidential candidate John McCain joked on Monday that Google, the popular Internet search engine, had made investigating his list of potential candidates a little bit easier.

"You know, basically it's a Google," he said to laughter at a fund-raising luncheon when asked how the selection process was going. "What you can find out now on the Internet -- it's remarkable."

Golly, Geewillikiers, George! This internalnet is a wonderful place! I hear you can get pornographic videotapes by "downloading!" Hot diggity dog!

Okay, okay, it's getting "old," we know.

Via Reuters News.

Charlie Crist's "Sex Tape" Could Land Him The Vice-Presidency

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 May 2008 16:56:00 GMT

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, long rumored to be a closeted homosexual, is about to have his true sexual orientation outed by Nixon dirty trickster Roger Stone, who claims to have video surveillance of the newest "Love Gov" and friend on a late-night elevator ride...

Crist is without a doubt the frontrunner for the Republican Vice Presidential nomination after helping John McCain sneaked past second choice Mitt Romney in Florida. However, he is single and therefore a potential liability to the Family Values party. Here's what Politics1, which broke this story, has to say about this "sex tape":

The video was seemingly staged to kill the rumors that Crist is gay. Stone claims the tape -- which he discussed recently with Politics1, but didn't show to us ("I'm saving it for the national shows") -- "shows Charlie fooling around in a hotel elevator with his girlfriend."
Stone just conveniently happens to have a copy of the hotel's elevator surveillance tape, just when Crist's name is in play for the VP spot. Hmm. As for Crist's purported girlfriend -- [pictured above -- Ed.] presuming it is the same one he took as his date to the White House Correspondents Dinner in DC a few weeks ago -- she's still married (and not to Crist). Disclaimer: Always be skeptical of anything from Stone.

Via Politics1.