Scanner : weeds

While You Were Sleeping: Star Wars on TV?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:27:00 GMT

The CNN-Ashton Kutcher "race to a million" literally came down to the wire. Found out who won by clicking here.

The new Harry Potter movie has its first finished trailer.

This whole "we didn't know she pregnant" thing is catching on all over the world, with the latest outbreak spotted in Michigan.

How do Jack White fans keep track of all these bands he's in?

More Bloomberg jerky behavior.

Perry Mason is real!

Jennifer Jason Leigh joins the cast of Weeds-- officially establishing the Showtime show's cast as the best on television, hands down.

The world takeover of Britain's Got Talent contestant Susan Boyle is still in shock about her overnight fame.

The Senator who replaced Obama has raised... wait for it... $845 this quarter. Hell, I can raise that in one phone call.

Zac Efron wants to play Luke Skywalker on TV. Hey, don't laugh-- George Lucas has had far worse ideas AND executed them.

Sloppy Seconds: Scarlett Johansson on Plastic Surgery

Sloppy Seconds: TGIGF for @JesusChrist

Cloris Leachman Wears Only Cabbage for Her PETA Ad

Golden Globe Nominations Even Worse Than We Expected

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:23:00 GMT

As usual, the studios sent their movie star emissaries, who cajoled and bribed the Hollywood Foreign Press into making this lackluster set of nominations.

Geez, you'd think that journalists for foreign newspapers would be more removed from Hollywood and have a more neutral perspective on its usually terrible moviemaking...

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
FROST/NIXON
THE READER
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

So, instead of Milk and Wall-E (and not to mention the host of brilliant foreign films released this year, especially Edge of Heaven), we get the widely-panned The Reader and the Sam Mendes flick Revolutionary Road, which has been ignored in every year in best-of up until now. But what's even worse is this category:

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
Showtime/John Goldwyn Productions/The Colleton Company/Clyde Phillips Productions
HOUSE (FOX)
Universal Media Studios in association with Heel and Toe Films, Shore Z Productions and Bad Hat Harry Productions
IN TREATMENT (HBO)
Sheleg, Closest to the Hole Productions in association with HBO Entertainment
MAD MEN (AMC)
Lionsgate Television
TRUE BLOOD (HBO)

You have to be kidding: House, In Treatment, and-- gag-- True Blood over The Wire? Hell, Gossip Girl and-- we're only slightly joking-- the Hills as Best Drama over some of these choices. You think these people actually watch the shows before they nominate them or just watch the sex scenes on Scanner?

There are some bright spots: Rebecca Hall, Penelope Cruz, and Javier Bardem for Vicki Christina Barcelona, Tom Cruise for his genius and unannounced three-scene performance in Tropic Thunder, and 30 Rock and Weeds for Best Comedy Series, with Tina Fey and Mary-Louise Parker up for Best Actress.

See the rest here.

Related:

Five Unintentional Laughs From Flirting With Forty

Sloppy Seconds: Jessica Biel Finally Goes Topless

Musicians I'd Like To Finance: Great 2008 CDs By Older Women

We Won't Milk "Milk" For Its Every Pun, Promise...

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:44:00 GMT

In the future, we hope to show more from the Sopranos and the L Word, plus something from the Wire, but for now... here's the Top 5 Sex Scenes From Television Shows, Part One...

5. The Sopranos. Tony and his secretary at the no-show job he shows up for. Alicia Witt's sex scene is jealous of this one.

4. Weeds. We shared a great Mary-Louise Parker sex scene from last season with you. Now catch the followup, which may be even hotter, if that were even possible.

3. Tudors. We can't stand to watch more of this show than the following 40-second clip, but that has more to do with the acting "chops" of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers more than anything else. Natalie Dormer on the other hand... wow, look out.

2. Six Feet Under. "Shut up and fuck me" are the exact words we thought of before Rachel Griffiths utters them to end this all-too-brief clip.

1. The L Word. If someone finds a long-lost Pam Grier sex scene, please, we'd love to make this a tie at #1.

Click here for more free videos

Related (aka Other TV Show Sex Scenes We've Posted):

Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Top 5 Sex Scenes From Comedies

Mary-Louise Parker Breaks Toe, Films First Nude Sex Scene For Weeds

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Mary-Louise Parker Breaks Toe, Films First Nude Sex Scene For Weeds

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:38:00 GMT

Mary Louise-Parker, the coolest and sexiest Mom on earth (if you think we're kidding, you obviously have never read anything she's written or, well, seen her naked), finally gave her fans what they've craved for four seasons of the hit Showtime show Weeds: a very naked sex scene...

And better yet, it's with Mexico's legendary heartthrob Demian Bichir, who everyone was waiting to see take it all off since his first, ten-second cameo early in the season... and we have the link below. (Side note: Although we were rooting for Bichir to become MLP's love interest, we nevertheless miss the lovably awful Matthew Modine character...)

Back in January, Scanner Emily told you about Parker's dangerous sex scene, in which she broke her toe on the first take. Turns out, the producers/editors/director did end up using that first, tragic take... and then just having a full-on field day from there. This link is totally NSFW-- even the animal bleating that opens the clip could be misconstrued by the neighboring cubicle dweller. If you don't want to risk it, here's a screenshot to tide you over:

Here's the full clip, from Egotastic.

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Mary Louise Parker's Hazardous Love Scene

Spank Me/It: The Nastiest Sex Scenes Ever

Rosie O'Donnell Tops Maxim's Worst Sex Scenes Ever

Kevin Smith Makes A Porno... Or So Thought The MPAA

Sloppy Seconds: Mary Louise Parker's Hazardous Love Scene

Emily Farris — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Gay marriage will become legal in California in less than three hours. [NY Daily News]

Are two of Lance Bass' ex-boyfriends dating each other? Awkward! [Gabby Babble]

If the world's fattest man can find love, we can, too, right? Right? [News.au.com]

What kind-of world do we live in where no one shows up for Gossip Girl casting in the Hamptons? [Daily Intel]

Amy Winehouse passed out today and had to be taken to the hospital. Luckily, she weighs nothing, so an assistant was able to catch her before she hit the floor. Whew. [Yahoo!]

Mary Louise Parker broke her toe while filming a love scene for her Showtime series, "Weeds." That shit hurts, yo. [People]

Related:

World's Fattest Man is Still Very Fat

The Amy Winehouse Condition

Things We've Learned From Lance Bass' Book Tour

Gay Marriage is Good for the Economy, Stupid

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Zooey Deschanel

[Image via Esquire]

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Zooey Deschanel

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:04:00 GMT

Everybody's already in love with actress-turned-indie-rock-darling Zooey Deschanel, which is why, I, Scanner Brian hate myself for having to jump on the bandwagon.

1) The new season of "Weeds," on which Zooey is occasionally featured, premieres on Monday, my birthday, and also features Mary-Louise Parker. If a woman, any woman, can stand out (in talent, looks, presence, etc.) on a show with Mary-Louise, she's gotta be awesome.

2) The She & Him performance from Conan with Yo La Tengo backing them up. We'd show you that video, which Scanner Nicole has posted, except the link is down. And we wouldn't want you to have Zooey's amazing voice stuck in your head.

3) Just kidding, we're going to make you hear her anyway, via this great little animated short, featuring Zooey and M. Ward covering Smokey Robinson:

Scanner : weeds

While You Were Sleeping: Star Wars on TV?

Mile High Club Lovers Take Sex Life to the Fast Lane

Sloppy Seconds: Scarlett Johansson on Plastic Surgery

Sloppy Seconds: TGIGF for @JesusChrist

Cloris Leachman Wears Only Cabbage for Her PETA Ad

Golden Globe Nominations Even Worse Than We Expected

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

Five Unintentional Laughs From Flirting With Forty

Sloppy Seconds: Jessica Biel Finally Goes Topless

Musicians I'd Like To Finance: Great 2008 CDs By Older Women

We Won't Milk "Milk" For Its Every Pun, Promise...

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Mary-Louise Parker Breaks Toe, Films First Nude Sex Scene For Weeds

Sloppy Seconds: Mary Louise Parker's Hazardous Love Scene

Spank Me/It: The Nastiest Sex Scenes Ever

Top 10 Clandestinely Videotaped Skinemax Sex Scenes Of Our Youth

Rosie O'Donnell Tops Maxim's Worst Sex Scenes Ever

Kevin Smith Makes A Porno... Or So Thought The MPAA

Sloppy Seconds: Mary Louise Parker's Hazardous Love Scene

World's Fattest Man is Still Very Fat

The Amy Winehouse Condition

Things We've Learned From Lance Bass' Book Tour

Gay Marriage is Good for the Economy, Stupid

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Zooey Deschanel

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Zooey Deschanel