Scanner : will ferrell

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson's Mistresses

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:31:00 GMT

Why are there snakes on this motherfuckin' plane?

Child labor is real and undeniably so after these photographs.

A woman turned the tables on a man who tried to rob her: she made him her sex slave.

Hey that woman from the Dominos story turns out to be a sex offender.

Will Ferrell did Man Vs. Wild.

The stupidest quote of the year is officially Hulk Hogan saying he "totally understands OJ."

Another reason to not get implants: the doctor might be using veterinary equipment.

Rush Limbaugh's ten dumbest quotes. How ever did they narrow it down? How ever did they listen to it long enough to hear all these?

And the Mel Gibson mistresses are starting to come out of the works.

American Woman: The Presidential Mistress

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Sloppy Seconds: The Most Amazing 9-1-1 Call Ever (AUDIO)

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:50:00 GMT

Hey, geeks (or people like us?): it's National Grammar Day. [National Grammar Day]

We were totally pissed we missed this last year and we're actually considering entering this time. It's the third annual Peeps Diorama Contest! [Washington Post]

Barbie got a tramp stamp! [Jossip]

Justin Timberlake and his lady love Jessica Biel will celebrate her birthday with... George Bush? [Us]

Mariska Hargitay has been hospitalized—again!—for a collapsed lung. [Yahoo!]

Evan Rachel Wood topped VenusZine's list of 25 Under 25. Also on the list: Adele, Zoe Kravitz. [VenusZine]

We know Scanner Brian mentioned this in While You Were Sleeping, but it's so good we wanted to make sure you heard it (plus, we have the audio): a woman in Florida called 9-1-1 after a McDonald's employee told her the chain had run out of chicken McNuggets. Apparently, she had already paid and wanted her money back instead of some other food. Is it bad that this woman is sort-of our hero and that we also really want chicken McNuggets right now? [The Inquisitr]

While You Were Sleeping: The Next Major Blockbuster Is...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:02:00 GMT

Has the Senate ever been this entertaining? Between Dick Cheney swearing in a shit-eating-grin-sportin' Joe Biden to Roland Burris, barbarian at the gate?

Aubrey O'Day will receive one half million smackers to allow her boobies to appear in Playboy.

We have to admit, we're skeptical the "safe sex" soap opera can convince teens of anything.

This will either be worse than Rocky V or even better than First Blood: Part Two.

How the hell do you win the lottery 21 times? Probably by buying all the tickets.

According to Forbes, the most boring big city in the country is in... Arizona. Runners up include... cities in Arizona.

The next big movie event involves Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost. Oh, and don't forget Tintin.

Will Ferrell is about to kick off his George Bush spoof on Broadway.

Did you hear about the woman who set her husband's nuts on fire? She killed him and burned her house down, and now she's being charged with murder, having confessed to her neighbors that she did it because if she couldn't have his dick, no one could.

Stooges guitarist Ron Asheton died. At least we can say we saw them twice...

And in Virgina, a six-year-old boy missed the school bus, so he did the next best thing, as his grandfather would've instructed: he ~~walked~~ stole the family car, with predictable results.

Caption This: When Will Ferrell Has to Go....

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:43:00 GMT

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Will Ferrell Answers Your Questions

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:53:00 GMT

The investigation into who hacked Sarah Palin's e-mail is focusing around the 20-year-old son of a Memphis Democratic State Representative.

Joe Biden is a friend of the gays.

What's the verdict on Kate Holmes on Broadway?

If Holmes felt nervous and jittery, she didn't show it. She delivered her lines with confidence and projected her girlish voice so it could be heard loud and clear. She danced around on stage with gusto. She looked lovely in two dresses that highlighted her trim yet shapely figure. She wore a brown shoulder-length hairpiece to hide her trendy pixie cut.

After the show, Cruise told a reporter Holmes was "extraordinary."

David Blaine is set to hang upside down for 60 hours in Central Park, starting on Monday.

Kathy Griffin may follow Project Runway and flee Bravo for another network.

Megan Fox thinks Zac and Vanessa's nude snaps are no biggie.

And Will Ferrell answers your questions on Funny or Die:

Developing: Will Ferrell For President

Katie and Tom Share a Child, a Religion and a Hairstylist

Did Keith and Nicole Name Their Baby Sunday to Spite Tom Cruise?

Step Brothers Will Be Terrible, Step Clones Would've Been Way Funnier

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 20:08:00 GMT

PosterBoyNYC is a Flickr photographer who, as you can see above, doctors those enormous and always obnoxious subway ads.

After the jump, a look at our favorite cut-and-paste jobs from this Urban Prankster...

There are plenty more, even a handful that are arguably better than all of the ones we've included above, at Flickr.

Via Urban Prankster.

Someone Stop The Remakes!

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:05:00 GMT

So what if "Rain Man" is going to be a West End play and the Sherlock Holmes movie is based on the books? These two movies have casting choices that cry Hollywood desperation of the lowest order...

Yesterday, Variety announced two potential casting choices for the Sherlock Holmes comedy Judd Aptow is working on. Despite the fact that we wish Hollywood would come up with original ideas instead of just recycling everything, this admittedly does have hysterical written all over it. An as-yet-untitled film that

will star Sacha Baron Cohen as master detective Sherlock Holmes and Will Ferrell as Watson, his crime-solving partner.

The comedy is inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes tales. Though the thrust is different, the Baron Cohen-Ferrell pairing is the second major studio project featuring the supersleuth, as Warner Bros. is prepping the Anthony Peckham-scripted drama "Sherlock Holmes" with director Guy Ritchie.

So a goofy Sherlock Holmes and a violent crime version of Sherlock Holmes on speed? It remains to be seen whether either of these ideas will work.

Meanwhile, Variety also reported

Josh Hartnett will make his West End debut toplining a new stage adaptation of "Rain Man" that begins perfs in London later this summer.
Hartnett plays the Tom Cruise character in the legit version of 1988 pic "Rain Man," with Brit thesp Adam Godley ("The Pillowman") co-starring as the autistic savant played onscreen by Dustin Hoffman.

Wait a minute... "Rain Man?" The one where two guys drive across the country, make pit stops in Vegas, have naked times with Valerie Golino, and featuring a climactic moment that involves a moving train? How the hell are they going to make that a play? What's next, "No Country For Old Men" is going to be a Broadway musical? And why is Josh Hartnett involved?!

Sorry, we're getting a little carried away. We'll live. But Hollywood, please make some movies that are funny and not from endlessly-adapted books and moves that are interesting and thought-provoking and not remakes of award-winning, near-perfect films from after we were born.

Thank you.

Via Variety and Variety.

To See or Not to See: The Foot Fist Way

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:43:00 GMT

This is Danny R. McBride in the movie The Foot Fist Way in which fists, feet, and lots of fuck bombs join together to show us the seedy underbelly of strip mall Tae Kwon Do. Having dabbled in strip mall Tae Kwon Do ourselves, we would like to see this movie which Will Ferrell and Adam McKay watched at least 20 times and enjoyed enough to find a distribution deal with Paramount Vantage. Check out the trailer below and tell us whether you'll make it out of the dojo on opening day.

Great Reviews of Bad Movies: Semi-Pro

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:18:00 GMT

In what is becoming all but a regular feature here on Scanner, today we'll look at some more hilariously vicious reviews of Hollywood movies in need of a good beating. Will Ferrell has had this one coming for a looong time...

FilmsInReview's Victoria Alexander rants about "Semi-Pro," the new Will Ferrell sports parody movie (what's next, dodgeball?!) opening today in far too many theaters to do this country any good:

The directing is terrible and, more important, it's not funny. Who edited out the funny stuff? I happen to love Ferrell's FunnyOrDie.com but no part of "Semi-Pro" would qualify for this internet site sensation. ...John C. Reilly has eclipsed him as the clueless megalomaniac middle-aged guy with a dream. Reilly makes a commitment, Ferrell is now hogging the limelight.

And, the keeper:

Who knew Woody Harrelson was (a) so short, (b) so obviously medicated, and (c) needed a paycheck?

Um, clearly Victoria has never seen a Woody Harrelson movie before... or ever seen Woody Harrelson.

Meanwhile, Ethan Alter from Film Journal International hails the basketball flick as:

“The Will Ferrell Show,” with the second-stringers—including such dependable scene-stealers as Harrelson, Will Arnett and Andy Richter—relegated to the sidelines, fighting for scraps.

Bob Blum in the Lafayette, IN Journal and Courier even goes after the movie for its easy-picking's title:

And what an apt title for a movie that looks like it was untouched by professional filmmakers.
What is most extraordinary about Semi-Pro is that someone actually provided money to produce it. The funding probably came from someone who did not-- could not-- read the script.

It would not be surprising if sports industry lobbyists descended on Washington demanding that Congress pass a measure outlawing Will Ferrell from starring in any more athletic-themed movies. The comedy is lower than lowbrow, it is stupid and inane.

It is questionable whether you can even classify Semi-Pro as a movie. Sure, it is on celluloid, but it lacks structure, coherence and any real point.

And finally, Salon's reviewer had this to say about Ferrell's character:

At one point a distraught Jackie Moon laments, "I just wish I could puke this all away." A good purge isn't a bad idea.

Developing: Will Ferrell For President

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 14:30:00 GMT

In a potentially huge story we are baffled is not getting more traction, Politico.com reported last week that actor/drunky Will Ferrell is going to pick up where Stephen Colbert left off: he's going to run for President of the United States.

Ferrell will:

give a stump speech, take questions from the audience and even show some political commercials that should poke fun at the entire campaigning process.

Okay, yes, we're talking about a one-man show, to be performed on Broadway sometime in the weeks leading up to the November election. This is going to be the political event of the year, in any state, and it sounds like Ferrell is going to even allow audience participation:

Plans are still tentative, McKay says, but early ideas call for audience members — both planted actors and real-life ticket holders — to pose questions. Ferrell, who loves to ad-lib and got his showbiz start as a member of the Los Angeles improv group The Groundlings, is looking forward to having scripted and unscripted parts of the performance.

For more hilarity, check out the full Politico story.

[Photo: Associated Press]

Video of the Day: Green Team

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:00:00 GMT

Green Team on FunnyOrDie.com

Apologies if you've seen this already, we know it's been making the rounds. But anything that tackles the complex issues of environmentalism and murder boners demands a link.

Scanner : will ferrell

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson's Mistresses

While You Were Sleeping: Blake Fielder-Civil In Trouble Again

American Woman: The Presidential Mistress

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Sloppy Seconds: The Most Amazing 9-1-1 Call Ever (AUDIO)

While You Were Sleeping: The Next Major Blockbuster Is...

Caption This: When Will Ferrell Has to Go....

While You Were Sleeping: Will Ferrell Answers Your Questions

Megan Fox's Lesbian (Stripper) Love

Developing: Will Ferrell For President

Katie and Tom Share a Child, a Religion and a Hairstylist

Did Keith and Nicole Name Their Baby Sunday to Spite Tom Cruise?

Step Brothers Will Be Terrible, Step Clones Would've Been Way Funnier

Someone Stop The Remakes!

To See or Not to See: The Foot Fist Way

Great Reviews of Bad Movies: Semi-Pro

Developing: Will Ferrell For President

Video of the Day: Green Team