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Would You Pay $13,000 For Her Virginity?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Alina Percea is and eighteen-year-old student from Romania now residing in Germany. Recently, she put herself up for auction with a Buy It Now sort-of price of $75,000. That didn't go so well-- Percea ended up settling with an anonymous Italian man for the equivalent of about $13,000 US.

She says she's giving away her virginity in order to help stabalize her family's financial situation. Our question is-- would you, even if you were dirt poor, sell your virginity for so little? Or would you go for even lower? And guys, would you pay $13K for her time?

Percea's case is interesting because the recent virginity auctions, such as that of Natalie Dylan's, involved at least six or seven figures in American dollars. Perhaps Percea should've called the New York Post before the sale ended, as now she's getting the kind of publicity that would've bumped up the bids:

The auction was hit by controversy three weeks ago when a teacher at Alina's former school claimed she was not a virgin.
But Alina, who had already undergone a medical examination, was seen by a second doctor, who confirmed at a press conference she'd never had sex.
'I'm glad it's all over and I'm excited that soon I'll be meeting the winner,' she said. 'I'm not too nervous, because I know I'm doing the right thing for my family.' She admitted: 'Ten thousand euros is not so much money, even in Romania. But it will be enough. 'I hoped I'd be able to have an apartment in town. But now I will live with my parents while I go to university. I hope to find a good job with the police, so I can support my sister and brother through college too.' [Daily Mail]

She wants to find a job in law enforcement?! A rather interesting choice, one must admit, for one who sold herself over the internet...

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The Erin Brockovich of Private Eyes: Ordinary Citizen Almost Singlehandedly Solves Forgotten Murder

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:26:00 GMT

Susan Galbreath has a story to tell that would make one helluva good Meryl Streep-Angelina Jolie-type Oscar-bait vehicle. You can bet they'll figure out how to screw this one up, by bringing in romance, character flaws that insult her gender, and annoying plot holes.

In an extraordinary six-page Times (UK) story, which we'll summarize below, an English reporter discusses how this extraordinarily resilient person took on ineffective law enforcement, stalkers, killers, and-- worst of all-- failing marriages over a seven-year period to finally bring a psychotic killer and his conspirators to justice...

Back in 2000, Galbreath came across the body of a nineteen-year-old girl. The woman had been raped, strangled, and raped again repeatedly after her death, then burned beyond recognition. (Her parents identified her by her jewelry and other small indicators.) The initial police investigation failed to bring about a credible suspect and the story disappeared. Galbreath didn't care about her marriage, which was failing, and her general lack of interest in work and socializing. She befriended a reporter and lured him to Kentucky to help her investigate. The two interviewed suspects and fed their information to the police, who were either working closely with the gumshoes or ignoring them as a couple of crackpots, depending on who was in charge of the basically-forgotten case at the time.

Eventually, Galbreath was on her own. She set up a MySpace page as a tribute to the deceased and noticed that one MySpace user in the area was a person of interest-- a woman who had fled the area amid rumors she was involved in the murder. Galbreath played dumb and contacted her as if at random to ask her to contribute to the page as an area resident. It was the straw that whipped that camel's ass, and the person of the interest soon started spilling her guts out of nowhere. The MySpace user turned out to be an accomplice with a guilty conscience and later told the police how it all went down: the psycho had picked up his victim in a car full of drunk and drugged-out partiers, hit her over the head with a baseball bat, and had his conspiring female friends, of which the MySpace user was one, cover up the crime by dumping and burning the body.

18-year-old Jessica Currin had been walking home after a dullish Saturday evening at her friend’s house when she was stopped and given a lift in a car driven by Quincy Omar Cross, a 31-year-old layabout, serial hard-drug user and sexual offender. Also in the car, in a heavily drug-induced party mood, were four others – one man and three girls in their late teens.
Once she was inside the large, white, old Cadillac, Cross immediately began to sexually assault Jessica, aided by one of the girls. All four had been using cocaine, Ecstasy and alcohol. When Jessica resisted, Cross smashed a small baseball bat into the back of her head.

After several years on the (unpaid) job, Galbreath's work ultimately came down to the one chance MySpace message, but she wasn't fazed by all that lost time. Now the budding detective wants to get her PI license and has since found the love of her life and peace. At last.

Read the much more coherent (and epic) full tale here.

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Will Her Fetus Be Charged As An Accomplice?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:40:00 GMT

New studies today reveal that fewer people are having babies, thanks to the horrible economy. Those who can't afford (or are unaware of) birth control methods are finding that other people having children are too frightening to have anything to do with, and so sit at home, isolated from everyone.

If you think we're making that up, check out today's most bizarre news story: it involves a woman, a gun, money, and a fetus as an accessory to robbery...

This is the complete text of an Associated Press wire we just received:

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. – Police are looking for a pregnant woman they say tried to rob a North Carolina bank at gunpoint but left empty-handed after answering her cell phone. Fayetteville police spokeswoman Teresa Chance said Wednesday the woman had a handgun and demanded money when she entered a Carter Bank & Trust branch at 9:43 a.m. Tuesday.

But she got distracted when her cell phone rang. Police said she began talking to the caller and left the bank without taking any money. No one was hurt.

Chance said investigators talked to a teller who heard the woman but aren't releasing details.

Police said the woman is in her late 20s to early 30s. She wore a dark, knee-length skirt and had a multicolored scarf or bandanna on her head. [AP]

What is the moral of the story? Pregnant women are crazy? Women are so crazy about blabbing on the phone they'll interrupt a bank robbery to take a call? Seriously, folks, don't arrange any playdates, knock anyone up, or go into a bank in North Carolina.

And all kidding aside, we have to wonder if the state of North Carolina, where many people believe fetuses are living humans, will charge the fetus/person as an accomplice in the attempted robbery. We wouldn't put it past them. After all, if it "can think for itself," as anti-abortionists believe, why didn't it stop this horrible crime?

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Tropical Ants Have Completely Done Away With Men

Emily Farris — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:34:00 GMT

A species of ant has decided they don't need men anymore. And have done away with them. Completely.

Biologists from the University of Arizona have found that the Amazonian Ant (otherwise known as the Mycocepurus smithii), has "dispensed with sex."

Not only is the Amazonian Ant now an all-female species—basically genetically cloning their daughters to reproduce—the ants are no longer capable of mating even if they had male counterparts. An essential part of the ants' reproductive system, called the "mussel organ," has "degenerated."

[Yahoo!: The all-female ant species that doesn't need sex to reproduce]

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Video of the Day: Neko Case's "People Got a Lotta Nerve"

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 19:03:00 GMT

We love this video for "People got a Lotta Nerve" from the album Middle Cyclone because 1. It's by one of our favorite lady singers, Neko Case, and 2. it has Nerve in the title. Also, it's just a really great song.

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[Image]

Pin-Ups for Sneakerheads

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: Every straight male sneakerhead's fantasy has just come true.

Click below for more photos from Playboy's "Hot Chicks, Cool Kicks" feature:

Read more...

Cindy Crawford: Still Naked At 43

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:40:00 GMT

Although many people still consider her one of the hottest women in the world, supermodel Cindy Crawford has vanished into semi-retirement in the last ten years or so.

But in a sign she is planning a "comeback," as the media will not doubt refer to it, Crawford posed completely naked for this month's issue of Allure, covered only in... what is that? Ice cream?

According to the magazine's profile of the dreamwoman (probably entitled "How Cindy Still Looks Hot In Middle Age" or something equally boring), it's...

"...Crawford's skin-care regimen, [which] includes a day cream with antioxidants, a sunscreen, a night cream, and an eye cream. She also swears by microdermabrasion - and protecting the skin on her hands, neck, and chest."

Ah, if only those things weren't 99% water and actually worked, but that's not the point. What do we think of Cindy now, with her genitals airbrushed out of the photo to make it SFA (Safer For Allure)?

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Trend Alert: Women Leaving Men For Other Women

Emily Farris — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:13:00 GMT

The lesbians are coming! Apparently more and more women are leaving men for other women. And Oprah and her eponymous magazine are all over that L train.

Don't get too excited. Oprah isn't leaving Stedman for her best friend and the mgazine's Editor-at-Large Gayle King just yet. But in an article in the April issue of O, Mary A. Fischer writes about the trend.

Lately, a new kind of sisterly love seems to be in the air. In the past few years, Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman (and talked openly about it). Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson flaunted their relationship from New York to Dubai. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts. The L Word, Work Out, and Top Chef are featuring gay women on TV, and there's even talk of a lesbian reality show in the works. Certainly nothing is new about women having sex with women, but we've arrived at a moment in the popular culture when it all suddenly seems almost fashionable—or at least, acceptable.

Thirty-eight-year-old Macarena Gomez-Barris divorced her husband, the father of her two children, after the fact that her academic career took off and her husband stayed home to play Mr. Mom. It was a relationship that didn't work for them. But when Gomez-Barris met openly-gay Judith Halberstam, PhD, a professor of English, American studies and ethnicity, and gender studies at USC—"the most take charge person [she'd] ever met"—she wondered if a relationship with this woman had more of what she was looking for. And she was right. And definitely not the only one.

Statistics on how many women have traded boyfriends and husbands for girlfriends are hard to come by. Although the U.S. Census Bureau keeps track of married, divorced, single, and even same-sex partners living together, it doesn't look for the stories behind those numbers. But experts like Binnie Klein, a Connecticut-based psychotherapist and lecturer in Yale's department of psychiatry, agree that alternative relationships are on the rise. "It's clear that a change in sexual orientation is imaginable to more people than ever before, and there's more opportunity—and acceptance—to cross over the line," says Klein, noting that a half-dozen of her married female patients in the past few years have fallen in love with women. "Most are afraid that if they don't go for it, they'll end up with regrets."

What follows are some pretty interesting facts and ideas about women who are now more open to relationships with other women.

Read the rest at O Magazine.

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[Image]

Who Does Depression Hurt? Everybody Except Women Taking Semen Vaginally, Says a New Study

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:35:00 GMT

Women are diagnosed with clinical depression in higher numbers than men. This doesn't mean women are more prone to depression, only that they go to the doctor and get a diagnosis more often than men. But now a new study claims to have found the miracle cure for female depression: semen!

As women, our moods are especially dependent on hormones and, as you might expect, semen is chock full of them. So if birth control supposedly works better when inserted directly into the vagina, like vodka tampons (!?) wouldn't a straight shot of semen right in there work better than say, popping a semen pills, partaking in a Creamy Cum Crepe or even taking a shot of it orally? Yes, say the authors of the study who reported that women who did not use condoms during sex showed lower depression scores than women who used condoms or were not sexually active.

Our first thought, of course, was that women who were not using condoms were probably in long-term relationships and having regular sex, and more often. And sex, as we all know, puts one in a good mood. The authors, however, were less forgiving of women:

The authors acknowledge that there are lots of issues with the study. The women who didn't use condoms could be less depressed just because they are having sex more often. They could also be more likely to engage in risky behavior, though this trait doesn't appear to correlate with depression or lack thereof.

Other interesting results of the study:

Not only that, people who used condoms the most often were also the ones most likely to report having attempted suicide. Whether or not people were in relationships at the time had no effect. Interestingly, they also found that oral contraceptives did not have a significant effect on depressive symptoms. Finally, they found that women who did not use condoms had sex almost twice as often as those who did.

Still, the study concluded that women who have sex without condoms—not women who have more sex—are less depressed. Too bad AIDS is such a downer.

[Neurotopia: Friday Weird Science: Feeling down? Have you tried...semen?]

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Image via ebarney's flickr

5 Women Who Look Better With Age

Colleen Kane — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:36:00 GMT

This the women's version of a list posted earlier this week, 5 Men Who Look Better With Age. As noted in that one, we aimed to choose women who had not just aged well, but who have managed to look better than their younger selves.

Here they are, from youngest to oldest.

Aimee Mann is almost not of this earth. It's hard to believe she's 48, as she looks so much prettier than in her mid-80s pop-singer days in 'Til Tuesday.

Image: mtv.com, AimeeMann.com

Frances McDormand She was certainly beautiful in youth, though somewhat generic. At 51, age has given her expressive face far more character, and the choice roles have followed.

Images

Meryl Streep Some might argue that 60-year-old Meryl has simply aged well, just an older version of how she looked in her early roles like 1977's The Deer Hunter. She was lovely as a young woman, but she's outstanding as a mature woman. She now radiates that certain Meryl Streep something, and so, she has improved with age.

Images: imdb.com

Blythe Danner Age becomes this 66-year-old actress and activist. She's a grandmother who looks both older and youthful at once.

Images: StarletShowcase,WhosDatedWho

Vanessa Redgrave At 72, she must be taking some pulls from Paul Newman's bottle of magical looks-retention serum. Sure, she was smoking in 1966's Blowup, but who wouldn't be, all skinny and topless in the 60s with the heavy eye makeup? In older age, she's rocking a less intense, more softened look, and she wears it well.

Images: imdb.com

Well done, ladies.

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19th Century Women Stuck a Cork in It

Colleen Kane — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:43:00 GMT

Everyone's heard that urban legend about some girl from their high school and the hot dog. As ancient as that story is, it turns out that women have been inserting foreign objects into themselves much longer that that.

A two-volume set of books from 1880, "A Treatise on Foreign Bodies in Surgical Practice," has gone up for auction on eBay, and its list of objects found in women's vaginas shocked even us.

That list includes ("listed in order of frequence"):

Needle-cases.
Beer-glass.
Goblet.
Box of pomade.
Compass.
Tin cup.

Leech.

Piece of a glass syringe.

At post time, the auction, titled "EXTRACTION OF AN ALIVE LEECH FROM THE VAGINA" (there's an attention-grabber) was up to $46.

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Rush Limbaugh Cares What Women Think

Colleen Kane — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:47:00 GMT

Have you met Rush Limbaugh? He's the radio personality who popularized the term "Feminazi" and applies it with glee to any woman who sticks up for herself. Now he's wondering why there's a 31-point gender gap in his listenership. To find out just why he is so unpopular with the ladies, he held a Women's Summit on his program this week, where he asked women to phone in and tell him why they don't like him.

Not too surprisingly, women are not painted too well, even on this women's summit.

One caller claimed women don't like to put on a pretty skirts (um, hello? I love pretty skirts!) and "they have been given a line that they have to be unhappy, grumpy, they have to be Hillary, they have to be yelling and screaming."

Riiight. So there's only two options for women: pretty and traditional or angry and screaming. Here's more.

CALLER: Hi, Rush. I have three things you can do to close your gender gap by at least 15 points.

RUSH: Thank you. I want to hear what they are.

CALLER: Okay, get your pencil. First one. Make women believe you care more about them than their own husbands do.

RUSH: Hmm.

CALLER: Second one. You need to project an air of vulnerability. You need to let women think they can roll you.

RUSH: Well, wait a minute. Rule me?

CALLER: Roll.

RUSH: Roll or rule?

CALLER: Roll. Well, one and the same. One and the same, very clever! You can do this! It's not beyond you!

RUSH: All right, so I gotta make women believe I care more about them than their own husbands do, and I am vulnerable, I can be hurt.

CALLER: Yes. They can roll you. And you can do that by just marrying an Ivy League women from Chicago, Ivy League educated women from Chicago, that's how most Democrats do it. And the third thing to do is stop saying abortion is the sacrament to liberalism. You can still say that liberalism is a religion because women like to think they're religious, just drop the sacrament of abortion.

OK, so in addition to being pretty and docile things or angry and screaming, women are also easily manipulated saps.

Rush's conclusion? "It appears that women who have hated me have been led to me by other men and then have changed their opinion, which means something I have always known, that women do want to please their men. "

What- evvvs.

For the morbidly curious, the transcription is here.

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Hey Ladies: That Pesky Period May Help Prevent Parkinson's

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:38:00 GMT

I am scared to death of developing Parkinson's Disease. And the reason is pretty ridiculous, I admit. I resemble no one in my family but my paternal grandmother Ruth, whose middle name I also share. We ~~have~~ had the same hands, the same feet and recently my aunt gave me a picture of Grandma Ruth in her 20's. She could be my twin. In her 50's she developed the degenerative neurological disease and by the time I was old enough to communicate, it was full blown. She was shaky, her tongue was always hanging out of her mouth, her speech was slurred and slow. For a while, I was actually sort-of afraid of her. So, regretfully, I never really got to know one of my grandmothers. It was only last year that I learned she was an English teacher (I knew she taught history, but not that she also taught English; this explains why my dad had me quoting Shakespeare at the age of three). And as much as my dad tells me he thinks the factors leading to her Parkinson's were environmental, and no genetic link has been proven, I still worry that someday, I will be shaky Grandma Emily, unable to communicate with my grandchildren.

A new study at least makes me feel a little better about all of this.

Research out of Beth Israel Medical Center in New York found that longer exposure to the body's own hormones, including estrogen, may help protect the brain cells that affected by Parkinson's.

The disease occurs almost twice as often in men, and the study reports that women who menstruate for 39 years or longer are 25% less likely to develop Parksinson's, compared to women who were fertile less than 33 years. (For once, I am sort of glad I got my period at 11, now if I can just keep it going until I'm 50, I'll be golden.)

The study also found that women who have four or more children (like my Grandma Ruth) are at a higher risk for Parkinson's, possibly because "the post-partum period, which is typically one with lower levels of estrogen, subtracts from a woman's total fertile lifespan," according to the study's co-author Sylvia Wassertheil-Smoller, Ph.D., professor of epidemiology and population health and the principal investigator of the WHI study at Einstein.

Of course, this is one study in probably a million and a study tomorrow could say exactly the opposite, but, hey, it makes me feel a little better.

[Science Daily: Naturally Produced Estrogen May Protect Women From Parkinson's Disease]

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Prevent HPV With...You Know What

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:51:00 GMT

Ugh. The human papillomavirus. You probably know it as HPV and also as that annoying virus that you have or probably will contract at some point in your sexually active life.

More than 100 strains of the virus have been identified and 30 to 40 are constantly being passed around the sexually active population in the United States. If you've had lots of sex with lots of partners, it's quite possible you have, at one time or another, contracted at least one strain of HPV. The virus can and often does leave your body, but some forms stick around and cause warts and others can lead to cancer—most notably cervical cancer in women.

Unfortunately, condoms can't always protect against it and while little is known about the risk factors associated with HPV in men, a new study purports that there is one way to decrease a man's chances of contracting HPV.

Circumcision.

To investigate, they followed 285 men for about 18 months, testing for HPV every 6 months. Overall, 29 percent of the men became infected with the virus over 1 year; 19 percent acquired an HPV strain linked to cancer.

Men who said they'd had more than 16 sex partners had about three times the HPV risk of those with fewer sex partners. They were also nearly 10 times more likely to contract a potentially cancer-causing strain.

When it came to HPV clearance, circumcision appeared beneficial, the researchers found.

Circumcised men were three times more likely to clear any type of HPV infection by the end of the follow-up period and six times more likely to clear a cancer-linked HPV strain.

The reasons for these findings are not clear, according to Giuliano and her colleagues. It's possible, they suggest, that circumcised men are less likely to get skin abrasions during sex, which might mean that fewer HPV particles enter their bodies.

However, the article does not state how many of the men were wearing condoms, if any. Our limited medical expertise leads us to believe that if there's a condom involved, it wouldn't really matter if the man was circumcised or not. But what do we know? (Not much).

[FOXNews: Study: Circumcision May Protect Men From HPV]

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Will Stand-Up Urination Devices for Women Ever Catch On? -

Colleen Kane — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

This is Go Girl, a funnel for women to urinate standing up anywhere they wouldn't want to touch the toilet (like one of those disgusting public toilets covered in pee from previous women doing the hover-squat), or anywhere there isn't a toilet (camping, hiking, or right around now, Mardi Gras).

It's not a new idea: previous versions are the plastic SheWee and eco-friendly paper versions like Urinelle and MagicCone, and as discussed previously on Scanner, the Feminal, which is more like a trucker bomb. The concept has been around for years, but has anyone actually tried these things?

Yes: I have!

I test-drove the Magic Cone while out in nature, because when you work at BUST magazine, these things are pretty much distributed on a regular basis (I think mine were obtained in a party goodie bag). Gotta say, I have no compliants about the experience, for me it was preferable to squatting while camping.

Yet these devices remain a novelty. Ladies: would you or have you, stood up to pee?

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Ladies, You're in Big Trouble...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:37:00 GMT

It turns out some guys don't know when Valentine's Day is. According to this news source, searches for "when is Valentine's Day" has skyrocketed on Yahoo. In other news, people still use Yahoo for internet searches...

That search frequency has increased 150 percent during the past seven days, with men being responsible for 79 percent of the searches, according to Yahoo.

We're only mentioning this so you won't be disappointed... then again, if your man does remember what Saturday is, you'll at least be pleasantly surprised he got you anything at all...

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Emily Farris — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:59:00 GMT

[Image]

Blog for Choice Today

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:53:00 GMT

Today is the 36th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade and NARAL's National Blog for Choice Day. If you'll recall, last year on this day we blogged about our own experience with choice and this year, NARAL is asking participants to blog about their top pro-choice hope for President Obama and/or the new Congress.

See what Scanner Brian and Scanner Emily had to say after the jump and learn how to sign up.

Scanner Brian: "For the first time in Gonzales versus Carhart," Obama said, "the Supreme Court held—upheld a federal ban on abortions with criminal penalties for doctors. For the first time, the Court's endorsed an abortion restriction without an exception for women's health. The decision presumed that the health of women is best protected by the Court—not by doctors and not by the woman herself. That presumption is wrong."

My hope is that Obama rescinds these restrictions. There is no way you can justify saying that abortion is bad AND a mother should still have the baby even if her life is in danger.

Scanner Emily: I hope that today Obama reverses the "Global Gag Rule," that tomorrow he talks about it using the term "anti-choice" and that going forward he encourages Congress to lift restrictions on female reproductive care for women who have Federally-provided health care. And that's just the beginning. When I lived in New York, my "girl parts" were insured by the state. My girl parts should be insured by every state. Unfortunately, I now live in a state that, like my father, would rather just ignore the fact that I have a vagina.

Add your blog to the Blog for Choice Blogroll.

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Moms Scaring Us By Taking Fake Babies Out For Walks, Meals

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:13:00 GMT

ABC 7 News in Washington, DC has the explosive story: crazed, desperate, disturbed kooky women of a certain age are buying overpriced dolls that burp and sleep and look cute in pink booties and taking the babes around town, pretending they're real...

And it gets better.

Many people like to stop and play with newborn babies, but now some adult women are playing house with fake babies.

Some women are even going as far as taking day trips with the fake babies to the park, out to eat, and even hosting birthday parties for them.

Forty-nine-year-old Linda is married with no children of her own. Now, she says she feels like a mother because she has Reborns -- dolls made to look and feel like the real thing.
"It's not a crazy habit, like, you know, drinking, or some sort of, something that's going to hurt you. It's like a hobby.and it doesn't really hurt anybody," Linda said.

We'll take odds that your husband is thrilled you've found a hobby and that you've chosen this gem.We have to wonder what Linda says when the waiter asks why the baby hasn't moved in thirty-five minutes or tries to touch its little fingers: "Oh, actually, it's not real. I just carry it around because..." Because?

These women are paying big bucks for this hobby, from $100 to a few thousand dollars.

A few thousand dollars?! For a doll. You could always, you know, adopt a starving orphan or something insane like that...

In her Kansas City home, Moore even has an elaborate room for the dolls. She organizes birthday parties, bakes a cake and even invites guests.

Psychologists say there could be a problem if and when these women stop interacting socially with others in their life.

That last line will sustain as the understatement of 2009, mark our words. By the way, Scanner Emily, did you catch that? Lock your doors and load up your AR-15 assault rifle...

Via ABC.

While You Were Sleeping: The Liposuction Car

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

A rogue church threatened to publicly broadcast the details of a married woman's sex life after she refused to break up with her secret lover. (They sent her a letter announcing their intentions, even though she'd quit attending services there.)

A former member of the White House's inner circle, who was all set to testify in court against Karl Rove and his rigging of the 2004 Presidential election in Ohio, died in a plane crash over the weekend. We were waiting for the mainstream media to pick up on this story and at least dismiss it-- of course, they've so far chosen to ignore even a cursory mention, even though it's several days old.

Sam Mendes spoke out about watching the sex scene between his wife and Leo...

Sam Mendes says directing wife Kate Winslet as she grappled with Leonardo DiCaprio in the steamier scenes in "Revolutionary Road" was "a profoundly weird experience" - so weird that he couldn't watch it. Instead, he monitored the action on a video... [PageSix]

Prosecutors don't seem to care about our rights. They don't care what the jury decides, either.

A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon fled the country when it was discovered he was powering his SUV with what he'd gleaned off his liposuction patients.

Possibly under the assumption they would lose, the Screen Actors Guild delayed a vote on whether or not to strike.

According to one paper, the economy is not stopping women from spending ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. The "lipstick effect" is in play, just as it was during the Great Depression.

A man tried to get his murder case retried, claiming two jurors had sex with one another and the guards overseeing them were inspired for some of the same. Thanks, M.

And breaking up with Hugh Hefner somehow landed Holly Madison the cover of Playboy.

Serial Killer Husband Has A Lotta Damn Gall...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:34:00 GMT

Drew Peterson killed two of his wives.

As these are only accusations at this point (and barely even that-- the police haven't even charged him with a crime), we could get in a bit of trouble for saying that. But we may have to sacrifice a bit of our own livelihood to wake up this obviously delusional, possible future-victim about to make the biggest mistake of her young life...

An unnamed twenty-four-year-old woman from Bolingbrook, Illinois (if we knew her name, we'd call 4-1-1 and straighten her out, Alec Baldwin-style) is reportedly engaged to Suspect #1, Drew Peterson, whose wife hasn't even been declared dead. This guy's got major cojones-- I thought he was like OJ, searching for the real killer. And hell, at least OJ had the brains not to get engaged during the investigation into his ex-wife's murder.

This guy is one sick individual, God knows what he's capable of doing to his latest early-20's "love." (That's right, his current wife is 24, if she's still alive. How is this guy cleaning up the Illinois-area single women?)

While You Were Sleeping: America's Most Wanted Murder... Solved

Male Fantasy: Who's Your Santa

While You Were Sleeping: Scrubs & Friends

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:18:00 GMT

Denis Leary can't escape controversy if he tries.

Geffen is blaming Axl Rose for the flop that is Chinese Democracy. Releasing the album exclusively to Best Buy stores and not really promoting that fact may not have been the blockbuster idea of the century either, dumbass.

Someone send these people a lifetime supply of birth control pills, stat: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag want to have children.

Friends guest stars are trying to boost the ratings of just about every show. Now, Courtney Cox is guesting on the January 6 episode of Scrubs.

MTV is feeling the crunch-- and so will its employees.

Iraqi women are back on the road.

Jessica Alba + swimsuits + Campari is an ad campaign we can get behind.

And Paris Hilton's second album may not come out. Pass the Campari, baby!

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Guitar Hero. Then Guitar Hero: World Tour. And Now: Vagina Hero!

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:27:00 GMT

When you think about it, it should have been obvious from the start that a push-button game involving a giant phallus would eventually morph into a push-button game involving a giant vag...

Of course, the folks at Ripten, which claims to have an exclusive first look at "Arctivision's" holiday blockbuster video game, are kidding around. But it makes us wonder why somebody hasn't come up with this already... it's obviously a tremendously commercial concept. Check out the highlights from the fake press release:

At first glance, Vagina Hero may seem overly complicated. Welcome to real life.
Arctivision reps claim that expert difficulty is pretty much impossible unless you invest in the Pro Bundle, which they explain as so:
“The Pro Bundle is essentially no different than the normal bundle, it just costs about $600 extra. We wanted to prepare our players for the inevitable truth that dudes with money are more successful with women, even if they aren’t any more skilled..."
Classy 70’s-style bow-chika-wow-wow starts playing, and you find your screen assaulted with colored button-press indicators called “E-Zones”. The E-Zones (or “EZ’s”) correspond to the same colored buttons on your Vagina Hero controller, dubbed “HodgePodge”. Why HodgePodge?

“Just look at it. What the fuck is that?"

The goal, ultimately, is to fill the climax meter. Successful combos and streaks fill it up faster, and unlike previous Hero games by that other totally unrelated publisher, there is no time frame. The sooner you’re done, the sooner you can move on to the next girl. You can also speed things up by initiating Vagina Hero’s version of Star Power, “The Shocker”, by jamming the yellow, orange, and blue buttons simultaneously.

Obviously, whoever wrote that is a virgin, and not even the "Well, I did finger this one girl at the eighth grade dance" virgins, either. Or maybe we're doing it all wrong. Either way, we'd love to try this out... if only someone would produce this title for real...

Via Ripten.

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Caption This: Rod Stewart Thinks He Has Something to Say To You

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:52:00 GMT

[Image]

You're Circumcised? Well, That Explains It...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:12:00 GMT

"Ladies, have you been having trouble with your heterosexual sex life?

"Then you need to try... uncircumcised!" Seriously, a new study by The International Coalition for Genital Integrity (it sounds like a bad Sacha Baron Cohen pitch) says that circumcised guys are statistically proven to be less spectacular in the orgasm-inducing department...

Here's what we mean:

"During intercourse, the skin of an intact penis slides up and down the shaft, stimulating the glans and the nerves of the inner and outer foreskin. On the outstroke, the glans is partially or completely engulfed by the foreskin with more skin remaining inside the vagina than is the case with the circumcised penis. This `valve' mechanism is thought to retain the natural lubrication provided by the female because the bunched up skin acts to block the lubrication escaping from the vagina, which results in dryness."

Thank you, Doctor Obvious.

The study goes on to explain that

reduced female arousal and fewer female orgasms may be linked to women having sex with circumcised male partners. Women reported they were about twice as likely to experience orgasm if their male partner had a foreskin.
Nine out of ten women prefer having sex with intact men, the study finds.

Uh oh, American dudes. Seven out of ten of you are circumcised... could this explain the (mass) sexual problems everyone out there seems to be having? (We'll reserve comment on our sex lives and circumcision/non-circumcision for TMI reasons.) Anyway, we'd like both sexes to weigh in... is this study bullshit or is it hitting the nail on the, um, head?

Full story via Health Central.

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Study: Cyber Sex Can Cause Major Depression

Emily Farris — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:38:00 GMT

A new study out of Australia has linked cybersex and depression, claiming that people who frequent online sex sites have alarmingly high rates of depression, anxiety and stress.

What’s more, people who seek out cyber sex typically devote hours a day to the covert activity, the study found. The Australian research also revealed that overwhelmingly male, well-educated, and aged anywhere from 18 to 80 indulge in such kind of ‘pleasure’.

They spend an average of just over 12 hours on the sites each week – mostly chatting, participating in cyber sex with webcams, downloading video and images, or sending erotic emails, the study found.

The research revealed that more than 65 per cent of the 1325 American and Australian men surveyed said they had met someone off line that they had first encountered online.

The article says nothing about women, so we'd be interested to see if the study covered the ladies as well.

While we absolutely understand the appeal of cyber sex for some people, we imagine that using it in place of the real thing could get pretty fucking depressing after a while. Or maybe that's just a girl thing? Or maybe all those new Dentyne ads are right?

[Times of India: Cyber sex can cause ‘major’ depression]

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Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Would Like You to Know What They Think of Sarah Palin

Emily Farris — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:48:00 GMT

Are Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson the next Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins?

Last week, the couple made sure we took a few minutes to recognize the seventh anniversary of September 11, and yesterday, Lilo and Sam posted a joint MySpace blog post ranting on the GOP veep nominee, Sarah Palin.

Full text after the jump...

UH OH!
Current mood: shocked

I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin.

I couldn't be more supportive of a woman in office, but let's face it, it comes down to the person, and their beliefs, male or female.

Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?

I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be... Also interesting that she got her passport in 2006.. And that she is not fond of environmental protection considering she's FOR drilling for oil in some of our protected land.... Well hey, if she wants to drill for oil, she should DO IT IN HER OWN backyard. This really shows me her complete lack of real preparation to become the second most powerful person in this country.

Hmmmm-All of this gets me going-Fear, Anxiety, Concern, Disappointment, and Stress come into play...

Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe?

I know that the most important thing about this election is that people need to exercise their right to vote, regardless of their choice... I would have liked to have remained impartial, however I am afraid that the "lipstick on a pig" comments will overshadow the issues and the fact that I believe Barack Obama is the best choice, in this election, for president...

Palin's Desire to "save and convert the gays"-really??

According to this Associated Press story, the church of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is hosting a kind of conference devoted to the "conversion of Gays" -- no kidding.

Here's the AP text:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) ? Gov. Sarah Palin's church is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer.

You'll be encouraged by the power of God's love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality," according to the insert in the bulletin of the Wasilla Bible Church, where Palin has prayed since she was a child.

Palin's conservative Christian views have energized that part of the GOP electorate, which was lukewarm to John McCain's candidacy before he named her as his vice presidential choice. She is staunchly anti-abortion, opposing exceptions for rape and incest, and opposes gay marriage and spousal rights for gay couples.

http://zennie2005.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah-palins-church-hosts-anti-gay.html

I feel it's necessary for me to clarify that I am not against Sarah Palin as a mother or woman.

Women have come a long way in the fight to have the choice over what we do with our bodies... And its frightening to see that a woman in 2008 would negate all of that.

Oh, and...Hint Hint Pali Pal- Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!

And in the words of Pamela Anderson, "She can suck it"..

--

Lindsay- "I have faith that this country will be all that it can be with the proper guidance. I really hope that all of you make your decisions based on the facts and what feels right to you in your heart-vote for obama!"

Samantha- "I love this country- however i wasn't born here and don't have the right to vote- so i beg of you all to really do your research and be educated when you cast your vote this coming november.... and if you're in doubt- vote for obama! Mainly because if she gets elected my green card probably won't get renewed!!!"

xoxo
Lindsay and Samantha

So far, the post has generated more than 1,000 comments. And we never thought we'd say this, but we couldn't agree more with LiLo.

[MySpace via Faded Youth]

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Alaska Women Make History Rallying Against Palin

Emily Farris — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:07:00 GMT

Apparently, you know an event in Alaska is a success when 25 people turn out for it. So imagine one Anchorage woman's surprise when she joined 1,400 other women to rally against the state's governor, Sarah Palin.

The rally was organized by a small group of women, talking over coffee. It made me wonder what other things have started with small groups of women talking over coffee. It’s probably an impressive list. These women hatched the plan, printed up flyers, posted them around town, and sent notices to local media outlets. One of those media outlets was KBYR radio, home of Eddie Burke, a long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host. Turns out that Eddie Burke not only announced the rally, but called the people who planned to attend the rally “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots”, and read the home phone numbers of the organizers aloud over the air, urging listeners to call and tell them what they thought. The women, of course, received many nasty, harassing and threatening messages.

So, as I jettisoned myself from the jaws of the ‘Drill Baby Drill’ crowd and toward the mystery rally at the library, I felt a bit apprehensive. I’d been disappointed before by the turnout at other rallies. Basically, in Anchorage, if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it’s a success. So, I thought to myself, if we can actually get 100 people there that aren’t sent by Eddie Burke, we’ll be doing good. A real statement will have been made. I confess, I still had a mental image of 15 demonstrators surrounded by hundreds of menacing “socialist baby-killing maggot” haters.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t tailgating when I saw the crowd in front of the library or I would have ended up in somebody’s trunk. When I got there, about 20 minutes early, the line of sign wavers stretched the full length of the library grounds, along the edge of the road, 6 or 7 people deep! I could hardly find a place to park. I nabbed one of the last spots in the library lot, and as I got out of the car and started walking, people seemed to join in from every direction, carrying signs.

Never, have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn’t honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn’t happen here.

Alas, it was the pro-Palin rally that made national news that day, but at least we have the New York Times to remind us that Once Elected, Palin Hired Friends and Lashed Foes. Buried deep in that article (as BoingBoing points out):

[L]awmakers in April accused her of improperly culling thousands of e-mail addresses from a state database for a mass mailing to rally support for a policy initiative.

While Ms. Palin took office promising a more open government, her administration has battled to keep information secret. Her inner circle discussed the benefit of using private e-mail addresses. An assistant told her it appeared that such e-mail messages sent to a private address on a “personal device” like a BlackBerry “would be confidential and not subject to subpoena.”

Ms. Palin and aides use their private e-mail addresses for state business. A campaign spokesman said the governor copied e-mail messages to her state account “when there was significant state business.”

On Feb. 7, Frank Bailey, a high-level aide, wrote to Ms. Palin’s state e-mail address to discuss appointments. Another aide fired back: “Frank, this is not the governor’s personal account.” Mr. Bailey responded: “Whoops~!”

Mr. Bailey, a former midlevel manager at Alaska Airlines who worked on Ms. Palin’s campaign, has been placed on paid leave; he has emerged as a central figure in the trooper investigation.

Another confidante of Ms. Palin’s is Ms. Frye, 27. She worked as a receptionist for State Senator Lyda Green before she joined Ms. Palin’s campaign for governor. Now Ms. Frye earns $68,664 as a special assistant to the governor. Her frequent interactions with Ms. Palin’s children have prompted some lawmakers to refer to her as “the babysitter,” a title that Ms. Frye disavows. Like Mr. Bailey, she is an effusive cheerleader for her boss.

“YOU ARE SO AWESOME!” Ms. Frye typed in an e-mail message to Ms. Palin in March.

Awesome doesn't even begin to describe it, dear.

[Mudflats: ‘Alaska Women Reject Palin’ Rally is HUGE!]

Hot or Not: Lingerie Football League?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:34:00 GMT

In a move that team owners are calling "True Fantasy Football," some burly middle-aged guys think they have unleashed the greatest new sport.

Forget the XFL. Forget Arena Football or even boring College Football. (We have.) The real threat to the NFL's stranglehold on the pigskin is a gimmick that combines dreaming about Victoria's Secret models and the other favorite male pastime: watching football on your fat ass...

Perhaps you heard about the Lingerie Bowl, taking place as a sort of alternative halftime show near the stadiums where the Super Bowl is held? Well, apparently, the virus is spreading... the LFL (as it may or may not be called in shorthand) has turned itself into a full-on league, with ten franchise teams and a major Lingerie Bowl in Tampa next year. As if Florida is in enough danger from criminals who host yard sales consisting of electronics they stole from their next door neighbors, a closeted homosexual Republican governor who pretends to be getting married, hurricanes, butterfly ballots, and a flooded coastline, they now have lingerie-clad football players helping usher in the apocalypse.

Then again, if this is what the apocalypse looks like, there's a soundbite that George W. Bush once stole from a Kirsten Dunst movie that we think might be appropriate here...

Some images via The Superficial, most of the bad ones via the actual LFL site.

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Running in Heels: It's Hard Enough Just Walking, Moscow

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Ladies, we have to give it to you-- there's no way we'd be able to walk around in those things for more than thirty seconds without massacring an entire post office full of people in a blind rage. They probably look as uncomfortable to us as they are to wear.

That being said... what in God's name is going on with this new trend of street races in heels? We were hoping the one sponsored by Glamour in March was some sort of sick marketing scam/joke, but whatever it is, alas, it's catching on...

Apparently this isn't even the first time. The middle photo is from 2006-- in Russia... and sponsored by Glamour Magazine.

A girl attends a high heels race in Moscow, capital of Russia, July 8, 2006. Girls took part in the race wearing high heels with required minimum height of 8 centimeters to compete for a total bonus of 100.000 roubles (3,726 dollars). The race was held by a Russian fashion magazine.

This year, it went up to a minimum of 9 centimeters. NINE CENTIMETERS! Ladies, would you take 100.000 roubles, excuse us, three thousand bucks to run in heels? Oh wait... nope, no more prize money... it's just...

This year it took place near the GUM store by Red Square. The closeness of shops seemed to have raised the participants' spirits, as the main prize was a shopping certificate.

A crowd of onlookers gathered at the event scene to support the competitors who had spent more than two hours preparing for the race and making sure they look glamorous enough. Whilst some girls were queuing up to get fashion stylist’s service, more experienced racers were taping their shoes to their legs.

Some of the runners fell down and dropped out of the race just three seconds after the start. For the leader, however, it took only 12-14 seconds to reach the finish line.

Luckily, this year no heels were broken.

Via Russia Today.

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