Scanner : year in review

Tampon Ad Is Australia's Most-Complained About of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:51:00 GMT

Idiots everywhere raved about it: "I think the beaver ad is fantastic! i couldn't stop laughing when i saw the ad -good on you guys!!!!!" "This was cheeky and effective. Well done!" "Congratulations! What a fantastic advertising campaign!" Uh, yeah... because people write to companies they hardly know and applaud their advertising department, suuure.

So, it should come as no surprise that Kimberly-Clark testimonials on behalf of their "Beaver" ad campaign are obvious fakes... and certainly not after you see the ad, rated as the year's #1 Most Complained About Commercial, which came close to being yanked in Australia:

Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if people complained because this ad was mind-numbingly obvious and an insult to our intelligence, instead of for offending Puritans with strict mores?

Via YouTube.

Regarding The Facebook, It's Time for Plan B (Facebook the Sh*t Out of Facebook)

The Latest Kool Kid Kraze: Vodka Tampons

A Beaver Is A Woman's Best Friend (In Australia)

Our Favorite Leftover Photos of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:41:00 GMT

While hunting stories on the internet, we often stumble across a photograph that doesn't work as a story in itself. Case in point, this shot of a naked man fleeing the police in Japan, which we included in an utterly irrelevant post about the vicar with the potato stuck in his butthole.

Then there are photos which never get used for any story, yet we can't bear to delete them, so they sit all yearlong in the Nerve Photos folder on our desktop. Because, even this late in the game, we can't bear to dispose of them in the proper computer trash bin, here they are for your insatiable amusement:

Related:

No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Lingerie Football Linebacker Sues Ex For Leaking Her Nude Photos

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

A History of MIT Pranks, In Glorious Pictures...

While You Were Sleeping: Your Shopping Bag Is Sexist, Dude

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Are you guys doing the inaugural? Good luck surviving the stampede.

The nitwit who dared to have sex on a beach in Dubai spoke out about his ordeal. (Not the sex-- the other ordeal.)

Bet you'll never guess why a man shot and killed a sex shop worker... oh wait, you will, and likely on the first try:

A man has shot and wounded a saleswoman in a Russian sex shop after the impotence tablets he bought failed to have the desired effect. [stuff.co.nz]

Ellie Nesler, the woman who killed her son's (accused) child molester, died.

Did your 2008 pass by in what felt like forty seconds? It will again, thanks to this snazzy video.

We rejoice at the sight of CNN giving out love advice because it just makes us look way more qualified than we really are.

This "sexy" (and sexist?) shopping bag "might put you in jail," according this blog.

Counterfeiters aren't even trying to make their money look real anymore, they're so desperate to have anything to pay with.

And Zooey Deschanel-- sniff, sniff-- is off the market, thanks to (Mystery Boyfriend Revealed) Ben Gibbard, of Death Cab For Cutie.

This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:44:00 GMT

Caroline Kennedy, who seems to be losing steam in her quest for the Senate, supports gay marriage.

There has been a 16% rise in violence against gays and lesbians this year, while 2007 had already seen a 16% rise over '06, according to the author of this story about a woman gang-raped in San Francisco for having a rainbow sticker on her car.

Strollerderby reported on the principal who censored a student's pro-gay rights paper...

Students at the Academy for Arts, Science & Technology near Carolina Forest have traditionally printed their paper on their own, using funds from ad sales to cover the cost of printing the quarterly paper. But when administrators, including Principal Ronnie Burgess, saw the picture of two male students holding hands and an editorial advocating for same-sex marriage, they told the kids the paper couldn't be distributed. They offered $500 in school funds to reprint the paper - without the editorial and picture.
Burgess said he was afraid the original paper would be "disruptive."
"I had some concerns about the content of the article and how it might impact students here and what the community concerns might be when the article was distributed," he told the Myrtle Beach-based Sun News. I'm not surprised that an administrator is afraid of community backlash (even homophobic, small-minded backlash), but what floors me is the rest of Burgess' statement to the paper: "At the academy we encourage diversity, we don't look to silence student voices, we hope to facilitate their expression."

Queen guitarist Brian May was the only person on earth who didn't know his lead singer, Freddie Mercury, was a homosexual.

Arizona's activists aren't taking state-sanctioned bigotry lying down.

"Mommy and Mama Now Legal In New York," at least on the birth certificates of kids born of gay parents in the state.

75% of Americans support gay marriage and/or civil unions, while 63% support strengthening hate crime laws.

And a court in Brighton, England ruled that a straight man can be considered "sexually harassed" over gay jokes even if he is not gay himself.

Pope Makes Insane Gay Metaphor

Today in WTF: Gay Teens Much More Likely To Get Pregnant

This Week In Gayness: The Coming Out TV Series

Wino Goes Topless and We Say No No No

Colleen Kane — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:41:00 GMT

Amy Winehouse is finishing out 2008 strong, if her goal was to transform into Keith Richards.

The rest of the photos, taken in the familiar celebrity-cavorting-on-the-beach setting, are here, if you dare.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Kirsten Dunst Off the Deep End

Amy Winehouse: A F*cking Disastah

Amy Winehouse's Year In Exile

Image: thesuperficial.com

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:05:00 GMT

Yes, we know, not only was 2007, like, ages ago but we already did a Best of 2008 list.

Well, that one was a smash success and you know how we enjoy sequels... let's touch on the best scenes of last year for other reasons as well: Unlike the 2008 list, every one of these films is available to rent in the United States and, well, the sex is way hotter. For God's sake-- Lust/Caution is borderline XXX... and we have to scenes from it here:

5 & 4. Lust/Caution. Ang Lee followed up 2006's Gay Sex Movie Brokeback Mountain with an NC-17 dud that features Tony Leung and Tang Wei tearing each other apart, almost literally. Here are two back-to-back sex scenes that kept us from turning the epic off about halfway through...

3. Hotel Chevalier (a short film/outtake from The Darjeeling Limited.) Natalie Portman has said she regrets doing this scene. That's not because her ass doesn't look spectacular in it or anything-- more likely, her complaint is due to Wes Anderson cutting her entire appearance from the print and letting dudes all over the world download it for free from iTunes.

Natalie Portman Nude

2. We Own The Night. Already long forgotten, this Joaquin Phoenix-led ensemble drama featured a brief Eva Mendes sex scene early on. The only reason to watch this movie? Eva Mendes. The only reason to watch a sex scene this short and dull? Eva Mendes.

1. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. A ridiculously and rather overrated heist pic, this one piles on the implausible twists from beginning to end, opening with the most implausable of all: Philip Seymour Hoffman giving it to Marisa Tomei doggystyle. Same with #2-- this movie wouldn't be the same without Tomei...

If that doesn't work you, try our Honorable Mention, also from BTDKYD. It's a nude scene, with the sex having happened earlier, but it's worth watching nonetheless:

Related:

Top 5 Susan Sarandon Sex Scenes

More Olga Kurylenko Nude Photos Surface

Hot or Not: Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler

Eliza Dushku Set For Fame Thanks To This Sex Scene

Top 5 Nude Scenes of 2008

The Media Made More Mistakes Than Ever This Year

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:10:00 GMT

From Regret the Error, here's a list of the worst (and most amusing) slip-ups the media made in 2008... at least until they make some more in the next three weeks, of course...

The first thing we gotta ask is, why does anyone report (as news) the story that a certain person has herpes? And even if that's a wise move, to publicly shame someone for no reason, it still doesn't explain why they'd publish a story about a nobody like David Guest having the STD. Guest, it was claimed, had received the disease from Liza Minnelli as an unintended wedding present. Of course, it's totally fabricated, as the Daily Mail and other papers were forced to admit in print:

In articles published on 23 and 26 May 2008, we gave the impression that Mr Gest had contracted a sexually transmitted infection and alleged that he had Liza Minnelli’s dog killed without her knowledge.
This was wrong. David Gest has never had a sexually transmitted infection and did not have Ms Minnelli’s dog killed.
We apologise to Mr Gest for any embarrassment caused.

Isn't this like LBJ saying, Yes, it's untrue what I said about my opponent, "but make the bastard deny it"? In other words, maybe a few people missed it the first time-- a retraction only reinforces the public awareness of the possibility of the story's truth, as in when you phrase a denial as "No, I did not do that horrible thing," psychologically, many people think, "Hmm, 'horrible thing.' Wonder if he did it."

Ah, never mind, we can't explain it. Just read more:

Here’s how the famous humor writer [Dave Barry] chose to correct a misspelling he made in a column published by the Miami Herald:
In yesterday’s column about badminton, I misspelled the name of Guatemalan player Kevin Cordon. I apologize. In my defense, I want to note that in the same column I correctly spelled Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarak, Poompat Sapkulchananart and Porntip Buranapraseatsuk. So by the time I got to Kevin Cordon, my fingers were exhausted.

Wonder if he spelled "Cordon" with an "n" and an "m." These and more via Regret the Error.

Related:

The Media Thinks It's Finally Figured Out Why Hillary Lost (Hint: It's Not The Media)

73-Year-Old Porn Star a Japanese Sensation, American Media Obsession

Update on That Girl Who IM'd Her Dad About Losing Virginity

Stuff Your Stocking With Fleshbot's Top Sex Toys of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 22:33:00 GMT

There's the Bo, the We-Vibe, the Curve, and something called the Babeland Nubby G.

These and six other sex toys round out Fleshbot's list of the Top 10 Sex Toys of 2008...

The full list includes: 10) The We-Vibe, a vibrating cock ring; 9) The Bo, a silicone cock ring, seen in the above-right photo; 8) The Babeland Nubby G, which had some problems back with toxic chemicals, is reborn in a bang-for-buck model; 7) The Curve, which Fleshbot calls one of the best dildos ever; 6) The Mia, seen in the above left photo, "could pass for a USB device" and is therefore recommended for air travel; 5) The Vibe, despite its imperfect "navigation system"; 4) The Jollie, a dildo of massive girth, and not to be confused with the Jolly Ol' Saint Nick or Angelina Plus 400 Pounds; 3) The Eleven, the $300 dildo for those of you not hit by the economy in any meaningful way; 2) We dated a Gigi in high school-- let's just say we'll order one of these for ourselves. And... #1...

The Sasi. You may recall we announced its release in terrified tones just four short months ago:

SaSi (pronounced "sassy"), is smart-ass vibrator, and does the following:
1) remembers what you like and knows how to repeat itself
2) weilds a "smooth round massage head" like the tip of a tongue, "creating a soft kneading" of varying speeds, in an apparent attempt to replicate some hot oral sex. According to the website.

See the full list here.

Related:

Scanner : year in review

Tampon Ad Is Australia's Most-Complained About of 2008

George W. Bush Attacks Our Vaginas

Regarding The Facebook, It's Time for Plan B (Facebook the Sh*t Out of Facebook)

The Latest Kool Kid Kraze: Vodka Tampons

A Beaver Is A Woman's Best Friend (In Australia)

Our Favorite Leftover Photos of 2008

No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Lingerie Football Linebacker Sues Ex For Leaking Her Nude Photos

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

A History of MIT Pranks, In Glorious Pictures...

While You Were Sleeping: Your Shopping Bag Is Sexist, Dude

This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

The Human Herp: Ken Starr Returns To Defend Marriage Against People Who Want It

Pope Makes Insane Gay Metaphor

Today in WTF: Gay Teens Much More Likely To Get Pregnant

This Week In Gayness: The Coming Out TV Series

Wino Goes Topless and We Say No No No

While You Were Sleeping: Kirsten Dunst Off the Deep End

Amy Winehouse: A F*cking Disastah

Amy Winehouse's Year In Exile

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Top 5 Susan Sarandon Sex Scenes

More Olga Kurylenko Nude Photos Surface

Hot or Not: Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler

Eliza Dushku Set For Fame Thanks To This Sex Scene

Top 5 Nude Scenes of 2008

The Media Made More Mistakes Than Ever This Year

The Media Thinks It's Finally Figured Out Why Hillary Lost (Hint: It's Not The Media)

73-Year-Old Porn Star a Japanese Sensation, American Media Obsession

Update on That Girl Who IM'd Her Dad About Losing Virginity

Stuff Your Stocking With Fleshbot's Top Sex Toys of 2008

Babeland Launches The Erratic, Dangerous, Man-Eliminating Vibrator

Did You Vote? Then Babeland Would Like To Give You A Free Sex Toy...

Swedish Hockey Fans Bombard Player With Dildo Parade

The Giant Penis Is Watching Over You