Scanner : youth

If Teenagers Can Have Sex, Why Can't They Have Sex Toys?

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:25:00 GMT

Kids get toy cars before they're old enough to drive, toy phones before they're old enough to get a cell phone account, toy ovens before they're old enough to play with fire and combustible gasses and even toy guns before they're too young to get a hunting license. So why can't teenagers who are old enough to engage in sexual activity get their hands on a few sex toys?

Seems kind-of fucked up when you consider that the legal age for consensual sex is under 18 in most places, but to enter a sex toy shop one needs to be at least that age. (Interesting aside: the legal age of sexual consent in Canada is 16 while the legal age for anal sexual consent is 18.)

Says one columnist in Canada:

"It sends a clear message to young people: Having sex with someone else is acceptable, but exploring your own body by masturbating with anything more than your own two hands is not."

Though the sale of sex toys is a states issue here in the United States, it's pretty much the same situation: it's legal to have sex at 17, it's just not legal to buy sex toys.

We can't begin to know the laws regulating the sale of sex toys to minors (or to now one, ahem, Alabama) in each state. But our friendly neighbors to the north have no laws on the books restricting the sale of sex toys, sold as “adult novelty items,” to anyone under the age of 18, yet stores will only allow those 18 and over to enter.

“I don’t think it’s an intentional double standard… They think they’re following the rules, is my hunch,” says Carlyle Jansen, owner of Good for Her.

Jansen says her understanding of the law restricts the sale of pornographic imagery in any medium to minors. “But sex toys, there don’t seem to be any regulations around who can purchase those and not. For example we allow people to bring their kids into the store or some people will come in and buy their daughter or son their first vibrator.

“I think the double standard comes out of the fact that we sort of ignore youth.”

So maybe that's why they're all turning up with STDs and/or babies in them?

[XTRA: Teens get shaft in struggle for sex toys]

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What A Five-Year-Old Thinks Of The Election

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:57:00 GMT

Here are some highlights from Lisa Kern's recent piece on OpenSalon about her kids and their reactions to the debates and the politicking going on around them:

Son #3: “Mom, what’s a Republican?”
Me:          “It’s a member of one of the political parties in our country.”
Son #3: “Oh.”
Me:          “Why do you seem so sad?”
Son #3: “I thought it was one of the guys from Star Wars.”
On learning of loved ones' political differences:
Son #2:   “Mom! Guess what? My best friend is a Republican. What do I do now?”
On Sarah Palin, while watching the vice-presidential debate:
Son #3: “Gosh, Mom – She sure talks a lot. How does she BREATHE?”

Son #2: “Is she running for governor of Alaska?”
On Joe Biden, while watching the vice-presidential debate:
Son #3:   “That guy must brush his teeth a lot. He has the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen!”
On watching John McCain during the presidential debate:

Son #3:   “Why is he calling us his friends? We don’t even know him!”

More cuteness here.

Meanwhile, Cracked was thinking the same thing... but different: what a five-year-old thinks of an election, as drawn by an adult. It was a contest with a $50 prize-- here are our favorites of the 15 finalists:

See all 15 here.

And now, a three-year-old who is going to be one helluva campaign manager some day:

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Watch Karl Rove Fight Off A Bunch of Hippies

Cop Fired For Drinking With Teens, Tasering Them For Laughs

While You Were Sleeping: David Duchovny Can't Keep It Together

Scandals Clinging To Sarah Palin Like Trig To Her Pantsuit

Thing #7,859 Not To F*ck: A Metal Rod

World's Greatest Mom Defends Daughter's Honor... Shotgun Style

Top 10 Childish Things We Wish We Could Get Away With as Adults

Emily Farris — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:29:00 GMT

As George Bernard Shaw so famously said, "Youth is wasted on the young." We wouldn't have believed it when we were kids, because we wanted nothing more than to be grown ups who could do whatever we wanted. Guess what? Doing whatever we want sometimes sucks, especially when doing whatever we want involves not paying our bills on time or going three years without a visit to the dentist.

Ah, what we wouldn't give now for a strict bed time and some fish sticks — two of the Top 10 Childish Things We Wish We Could Get Away With as Adults.

10. Going to summer camp.

Is there anything more exciting for a kid than going away to summer camp for the first time? For most kids, it's the first time they spend extended periods away from their parents and for us, it was when we learned the most about ourselves as young people. Luckily, we still go back as counselors (yes, Scanner Emily is quite possibly the oldest camp counselor in the history of the world) every summer and run the journalism department at a camp for the fine and technical arts. We have to hold on to our youth somehow, right?

9. Eating fish sticks for dinner, and that being okay.

How can anyone not love fish sticks? They're like fish 'n chips minus the chips and the sexy British accent. Sure, they come from the freezer section, but they're fucking delicious. All that breading would probably make us fat if we consumed as many as we did when we were kids, though. And you'd probably laugh at us.

8. Going to bed at 8:30.

We can only dream of going to bed at 8:30 when we finally go to bed at 3 a.m. after getting most — but not all — of our work done for the day.

7. Going to the doctor and never seeing a bill.

We used to think the doctor took care of us because he wanted us to get better, not because he wanted a new car. Now we have to truly believe we're on our death bed or be absolutely certain a bone is broken before we'd even consider getting within 500 feet of a medical professional, lest we want to default on our student loans (which brings us to an honorable mention: free school).

6. Picking our noses.

Sometimes there's just one you have to get. Definitely loses all charm when an adult does it.

5. Being applauded for everything.

When was the last time someone clapped when you pooped in the toilet?

4. Bursting into tears when we don't get what we want.

Not that we haven't cried over unrequited love, lost apartments or plane tickets that doubled in price over night, forcing us to cancel our vacations, but it's not the same when Dad isn't there to comfort us and give us our first lesson in personal finance while explaining that he just doesn't have the money for that Shetland pony we were so, so in love with.

3. Running around the yard naked.

Not only would this require a yard, it would require us to have the self confidence to actually run while naked. There are so many things wrong with that picture we won't even begin to go there.

2. Believing our parents are immortal.

1. Asking random boys to show us their penises.

The "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" line only works until about 11. Then you're expected to do more. But we could have saved ourselves a lot of disappointment in our teens and early twenties had we been able to check out the goods before committing to any physical contact.

Live Forever and Get More Gorgeous Than Super Models!

Steve McKay — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:13:00 GMT

How? Well with Alex Chiu’s Eternal Life Device you can go on and on and on and on. Yes. Alexander Chiu has come up with an invention that lets you live forever. The whole thing involves wearing magnetic rings on your pinky fingers and magnetic clamps on your toes while you sleep. The field that is generated in the body increases metabolism and makes you look and feel younger and apparently cures disease.

However he warns you that if you mess up the polarity and put the rings on incorrectly you “could get sick within hours.” If you are the type of person who leaves the room when you put the microwave on, this may not be your cup of tea.

If that is not a problem for you, why not try out his “another important invention” (sic) the GORGEOUSPIL. This pill will make you so pretty you “will one day reach PHYSICAL PERFECTION!!”

Not convinced? Check out these actual before and after pics from his site.

Seriously!