Scanner - All Comments

re: Video of the Day: Teen Kicked Out of Prom For Skimpy Dress

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 May 2008 03:59:23 GMT

Didn't that anchor used to work in New York? Also, she's kind-of badass, and has a great tummy.

re: Oh, Happy Day!

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 May 2008 03:55:57 GMT

Thanks, everybody. It was a great birthday, indeed. Special thanks to Scanner Bryan and Scanner Brian for coming out and keeping the whiskey flowing freely. (And to Scanner Bryan for leading the birthday parade.)

re: Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Rhonda — Mon, 12 May 2008 01:20:36 GMT

Gordon Ramsay hands down. Especialy in my story I am writing about him. Married ok. but we can still dream. I just recently became a fan and now I can't get enough about him.

re: McCain Opposes Equal Pay For Women Because It Leads To "All Sorts Of Problems"

sb — Sun, 11 May 2008 22:48:57 GMT

Should women be paid less because they go on maternity leave? Now that I think about it, they should probably be fired for it. That way, the only women who are in the work force will be those who are barren (and the lesbians, but they dont count) and we will have an easier time knowing who to mock!

re: What Kind Of God In Heaven Lets A Topless Eva Mendes Photoshoot Go This Wrong?

porkchips — Sun, 11 May 2008 07:27:04 GMT

Actually, she reminds me of Ann Bancroft in these photos.

re: Sing and Dance Along With Indian Condoms

in — Sun, 11 May 2008 05:44:38 GMT

:D incredible!

re: "Indy 4: Indy & The Aliens" A Steaming Pile of Crap, Say Preview Audiences

Dave — Sun, 11 May 2008 04:31:38 GMT

Huh... On that AICN critique of Indy IV...

Not convinced the movie is any good, but at any rate, I don't think I'd lend much credence to a guy who describes "Allen Quartermaine (sic)" as: "a crappy knockoff of Indy Movies incase you missed them"...

But maybe that's just me.

re: Oh, Happy Day!

jenny — Sat, 10 May 2008 18:27:46 GMT

Happy birthday!

re: Howard Stern Contest Gets Connecticut Teacher Fired

vagabondgrrl — Sat, 10 May 2008 16:18:03 GMT

Southington CT, right?

re: Spencer Pratt Knows a Thing or Seven About Initiating Anal Sex

Melissa — Sat, 10 May 2008 08:19:58 GMT

Haha Heidi looks like she has a third nipple!!

re: Who Would You Rather, Father-Son Edition: Jakob Dylan vs. Bob Dylan?

browncorduroy — Sat, 10 May 2008 08:07:16 GMT

Can we do a who-would-you-rather father and son edition starring Bryan and Otis Ferry? In which case I'd probably say both? Ok. Nevermind.

re: Commenting Will Get You Laid

SkyPork — Sat, 10 May 2008 06:20:30 GMT

I comment, if I have something relevant to say, and I'm not too shy or sober.

Okay, awaiting the arrival of the soon-to-be-laying ladeez....

re: Oh, Happy Day!

Christian — Sat, 10 May 2008 02:59:06 GMT

Happy Birthday! Hope it's so good you don't remember it!

re: Oh, Happy Day!

SwirlingDervish — Sat, 10 May 2008 00:51:42 GMT

If I remember the Broken Scanner stories correctly, Scanner Emily is now partly made of titanium, which would make her smart, funny, hot, and the only Scanner who's a cyborg (at least as far as I know).

Happy Birthday, Scanner Emily! No breakage next year!

re: Commenting Will Get You Laid

meganco — Sat, 10 May 2008 00:11:31 GMT

This must be some groundbreaking new kind of "laid".

re: Oh, Happy Day!

courtney_love — Sat, 10 May 2008 00:10:27 GMT

Scanner Emily.

Happiest of happy birthdays. But come tomorrow back because I miss your posts.

re: Milfs Outraged Over Urban Outfitters Pornogami

GeeBee — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:57:17 GMT

WTF?! Is that woman's name really Milfs? I bet $5 she doesn't know why people snicker when she says it.

re: Tina Turner Comes Out On Oprah

Monique — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:37:25 GMT

Sneaky. I was a bit disappointed not to see a picture of her twenty-something girlfriend.

re: Who Would You Rather?: Evangeline Lilly In A Manshirt or Tina Fey Scarfing A Sandwich

GeeBee — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:31:48 GMT

Who the hell is Evangeline Lilly?

re: Totally Classy Actress Forgets Part of Dress, Flashes Red Carpet

feeding4two — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:22:24 GMT

Have you scene Stephanie Seymour, fucking idiot, stick to writing about politics!

re: What Kind Of God In Heaven Lets A Topless Eva Mendes Photoshoot Go This Wrong?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 May 2008 21:18:52 GMT

It's more like Bryan 1, Brian 1. After all, we can probably sit through anything if Eva Mendes is naked at the end of it, no?

re: Commenting Will Get You Laid

igor — Fri, 09 May 2008 21:06:46 GMT

re: Teenage Sexual Awakening Via Google Maps and Polaroids

igor — Fri, 09 May 2008 21:05:20 GMT

aww...

the URL in Driven By Boredom is broken though...

re: Oh, Happy Day!

Adria — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:48:02 GMT

Many happy returns of the day Emily!

re: Oh, Happy Day!

godwal — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:33:02 GMT

Happy Birthday!! Is a new cat in order?

re: Oh, Happy Day!

profrobert — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:24:03 GMT

Happy birthday and many happy returns!

re: Oh, Happy Day!

Bryan Christian — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:22:59 GMT

many more, em, much love!

re: "American Psycho" Remake Dispenses With Metaphor, Gets Straight to Dickswinging

profrobert — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:20:21 GMT

The problem with the original scene is that it's completely unbelievable. No firm would allow its employees to self-design their own business cards. You get what the firm picks so there is a consistency within the brand.

re: Oh, Happy Day!

shinynewmachine — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:18:02 GMT

Happy birthday Emily!

re: Oh, Happy Day!

daviddickerson — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:17:02 GMT

Happy Birthday, Emily (wherever I may find you)! I hope that, for this day at least, you know how smart and beautiful and capable you are, and that you have nothing but a blast!