Every once in a while there’s an event that restores your faith in the American public. You know, like Hands Across America, or the failure of New Coke. Or this past weekend’s box office totals for The Hottie and the Nottie.
Honestly, I was surprised when I learned that the Paris Hilton comedy was getting a theatrical release in the first place; the title, poster art and premise all screamed “straight to video.” But after mulling it over, I had to concede that it wasn’t so shocking after all. Hilton is such a fixture on tabloid covers and gossip sites, she surely must have fans, and even a million or two of them would be enough to ensure a respectable opening weekend during the doldrums of February. Hell, Meet the Spartans was the number one movie in the country just a couple of weeks ago.
Well, slashfilm has done the math, and the news is good for anyone dreading a sequel. (The Hottie and the Nottie Go Potty?) “The final count will show that the critically reviled comedy featuring the seemingly talentless Hilton will sell a meager $25,500 in tickets at 111 locations over the weekend. That’s only $230 per screen for the theatres that were convinced to book this disaster. That means that, based on an $8 average ticket price, 29 paying customers showed up at each location over the 3-day. In a country that seems fascinated with Paris Hilton, only 3,219 unlucky Americans will have been suckered into seeing Hottie by Monday morning.”
Congratulations, America. You have reason to be proud this week. Except you 3,219 poor shmucks. But at least you’ll have something to tell your grandchildren.
