Trailer Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Posted by John Constantine

I remember going to see The Waterboy early in November of 1998. I was there for one reason and one reason only: to see the trailer for Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Even then, I could see the seeds of tragedy waiting for me in the coming spring. But sixteen year-old John Constantine was filled with nerd zealotry and managed to convince himself that the few minutes of lightsabers and wooden dialogue he saw on screen promised a great film worthy of its legacy. Twenty-five year old John Constantine knows better. This trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opens with an explicit attempt to get the nostalgia juices flowing but gets awkward fast. We get a few scenes of dominatrix-fantasy Cate Blanchett chasing Henry Jones Jr. through some very, very familiar locales, a vintage theme song that seems oddly out of place, and some one-liners that feel a little too fan fiction for comfort. Don’t take this as typical pop-culture addict cynicism. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.


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Posted Feb 14 2008, 12:22 PM
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Comments

A. Campbell said:

Ohhhh, the 25-year-old you is SO wise.

An Indiana Jones movie is like a Lee Child novel or a terrific grilled-cheese— you know what you're going to get, it's nothing "new" but it hits the marks and does what it does better than the pretenders.  Taking the piss out of that, saying "Well, I can't be fooled" is akin to sniffing at the magician's tricks because magic isn't real.  OK, so we know you know better.  Bravo, and excuse me while I decide to move on to somebody else.

The 33-year-old me remembers the 25-year-old me at Meet Joe Black for TPM trailer, and that experience, along with waiting in line for the movie the following May, was better than the movie itself.  Indy's an old friend, not a near-transcendent mythology, so I expect to be just delighted with my two hours' visit.  Yeah, it probably won't be like it once was, but hey, neither am I.

February 14, 2008 3:13 PM

John Constantine said:

Heya A. Campbell,

Twenty-five year-old me is certainly not so wise considering his apparent love of Michael Bay films. That said, he's wise enough to be cautious around both anything made by George Lucas in 2008 and resurrections of decades old film franchises. The fact of the matter is that I don't know what I'm going to get from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull so I'm not assured of its quality as a piece of comforting and familiar nostalgia. I'm not looking for Indy 4 to be anything new but I am looking for it to be entertaining and I found the awkward delivery of one-liners and Old Indy's apparently much improved whip acrobatics to be mildly concerning.

Once bitten, twice shy, right?

-John

February 14, 2008 6:57 PM

w. Hawatky said:

oddly enough, both of your views are fairly validated by the trailer

i'm not particularly concerned about the movie working on the nostalgic angle but we naturally would expect indy accomplish plenty of nostalgic juice on his own. i mean, afterall, shia lebeouf's transformers worked great from taht regard and i didn't even think it was made as well as it should have been. but my 27 year old ass sure enjoyed the ride

and rocky balboa and rambo 4. i'm just still waiting on conan 3 then my life is complete.

all kidding aside, you're both right, gentlemen. the movie might not be very good simply because indy seems to have just suffered the yoda-syndrome and the trailer, while exciting me, also spooked me a bit.

however, who gives. this is indy, i will be there, and i will enjoy, as A. Campbell finely iterated, a visit from an old friend.

February 17, 2008 5:33 AM

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