Juno Prequel From Hell: Teenage Mother

Posted by John Constantine

Every now and again, I want to slap the internet. A good, stern, open-faced backhand right across the cheek of every last bit of code and piece of worthless, confounding information. It is a ghastly place filled with things that actually cause madness and stupidity and you can see the horrible effects it has on the minds of those who casually wander its halls on any message board or blog, including our little corner of the swamp. The internet causes you to see things like this…



But it also yields treasures so rich that you are forced into an awed, grateful silence. Case in point: Teenage Mother.



A mere ten years ago it would have been impossible for anyone to accidentally stumble upon this nugget of pop detritus. And yet here we are. There are three things made evident by this forty year-old trailer:

1) The sixties were insane.

2) Chicken wings are hot.

3) Quentin Tarantino must never find out it exists.

The Screengrab thanks Ectoplasmosis for these moments of unadulterated glory.


Comments

Justin said:

I totally live in Petaluma. Thank you!

March 2, 2008 10:02 PM

Marty McKee said:

Since you haven't seen it, I'll tell you two amazing things about TEENAGE MOTHER.

1) Fred Willard is in it.

2) It features actual close-up footage of a real childbirth that's ten times more graphic than anything in KNOCKED UP.

March 2, 2008 11:35 PM

LCosgrove said:

This trailer shows up on one of the 42ND STREET FOREVER trailer compilations, and I love it unequivocally. "TEENAGE MUTHA... means NINE MONTHS OF TRUBBEL!"

March 3, 2008 8:11 AM

lurkingbeauty said:

Seems like it was a Reefer Madness-style cautionary flick, only without achieving the cult status. In 1969 my mom was a high school senior when she bacame pregnant with me. Although she was an honors student, she was forced to take the GED to finish early and wasn't allowed to walk in the graduation ceremony. A few years ago I was looking through microfiche of our local newspaper from spring of '69, and saw "Teenage Mother" advertised in the movie section. The tagline was "Where did SHE learn the facts of life?", with the shamefaced girl turning away from the camera. I was stunned. She's never mentioned how hard it must have been, and I've never felt like she regretted having me. Thanks for posting this, and while teenage pregnancy isn't an ideal situation, I'm relieved that those girls no longer have such a stigma that screenwriters decide they should be gang-raped.

March 3, 2008 8:11 PM

joybuzzer said:

I like that the trailer seems to have been narrated by Dan Hedaya as Nick from Cheers.

March 4, 2008 11:39 AM

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