As geeks go, I’m more Reform than Orthodox, so I’m guessing the majority of readers who know or care about Luke Skywalker’s doomed pal Biggs Darklighter already know everything there is to know about the long-lost Star Wars scenes I’ve only just rediscovered, but for my fellow slacker nerds and you casual fans out there in blogland who HAVEN'T already experienced the aforementioned scenes a dozen times on bootleg VHS cassettes, first edition laser discs, at George Lucas' house, etcetera...
...okay, so, remember the end of Star Wars (and no, I’m NOT going to call it Episode 4: A New Hope, thank you very much). Remember the rebel in the cheesy moustache who dies (along with Porkins and the rest) while trying to blow up the Death Star? And remember how Luke looks all sad about the dude's demise for a second or two?
Well, as you may remember from the screenplay or the novelization or the Marvel comics adaptation, that guy in the moustache was Biggs, Luke’s older, cooler friend from Tatooine who ran off and joined the Rebel Alliance while Luke was stuck farming moisture for his Uncle. (Hence the cryptic line early in the movie when Luke says, “Oh, Biggs is right, I'm never gonna get out of here."
Now, back in the day, I was more obsessed with Star Wars than all my future obsessions with sex, drugs and rock & roll combined...I knew Yoda was originally supposed to be a little purple elf on Luke’s shoulder, I knew the TIE in TIE fighter meant “Twin-Ion-Engined,” I even suffered through the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special.
But until just a few weeks ago, I'd never heard or even suspected that the following Luke/Biggs scenes had ever left the script stage...and thank God George Lucas left them out. Just as the extra footage in Apocalypse Now Redux showed the thin line between art and crap (goofy hijinx with the Playboy bunnies? The horror! The horror!), I think you’ll agree that the following scenes, while interesting from a completist’s perspective, clearly demonstrate the thin line between “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away” and the worst of ‘70s sci-fi cheese.
LUKE'S ORIGINAL INTRO
LUKE & THE ANCHORHEAD GANG
LUKE & BIGGS
