OK, so it’s called Death Race, and the characters utter the phrase “Death Race.” But this just doesn’t feel like Death Race to me. First off, the race is all wrong. Quick- what’s the first thing people generally remember about the original Death Race 2000? Chances are it’s the fact that racers get points for running over innocent bystanders. Yet for some reason Paul Not Thomas Anderson and the producers of the film decided to put the film on a closed course. Now, where’s the fun in that? It’s just a demolition derby with added firepower. Practically the only novelty in the remake is the casting of Joan Allen as the villain- sort of surprising to see Hollywood making a woman the baddie in a testosterone-laden guy’s flick. But if that’s all the original ideas you can bring to the table (while taking away just about everything that made the original movie unique) then there’s really no reason to check out the movie. You didn’t need me to tell you this, but I’ll do it anyway- rent the Carradine/Stallone version instead.