I trust we have your attention now? Or at least we’ll have it once you finish vomiting into your wastebasket. Here’s the set-up: 91-year-old Ernest Borgnine appeared on some repulsive Fox News talk show and was asked for the secret of his eternal youth – or if not his eternal youth, at least his continued not-dying. Borgnine leaned over and whispered (on-mike) in the host’s ear, “I masturbate a lot.” I think this is a pretty funny thing for a nonagenarian to say on TV, but Jeffrey Wells at Hollywood Elsewhere doesn’t seem to be amused. “This is a sad occasion for anyone who's ever savored Ernest Borgnine's performance as Fatso Judson in From Here to Eternity or Ragnar in The Vikings. With one remark, a respected actor has tainted his reputation for all eternity. I'll never be able to watch The Wild Bunch ever again with the same attitude I had before seeing this clip. I'm half-serious.”
Glenn Kenny at Some Came Running feels that “half-serious” is still way too serious. “I only wish I'd had the balls to have pulled something like that one of the handful of times I was compelled to interact with the sterling personalities on Fox and Friends…I spent a lot of time with Mr. Borgnine on the set of Baseketball a few years back. A real pistol, he was. Just think—he had been married to Ethel Freaking Merman. Which kinds of begs the question of just what it is he masturbates to. Jeffrey Wells seems to have taken this very hard. Or maybe I should say badly…Yeah, Borgnine's irrevocably tainted because he made a vulgar crack on a Fox News program. Okay, if you say so.”
Once you’ve finished scrubbing out your brain with bleach, cleanse your palate by heading over to Beyond the Multiplex for an interview with the lovely Ludivine Sagnier, now starring in A Girl Cut in Two, but forever memorable for “her oft-topless ingénue role opposite Charlotte Rampling in François Ozon's erotic thriller Swimming Pool.” Of her sadly nudity-free new film, Sagnier says, “When we were shooting it, Claude Chabrol would say, ‘It's my first porn movie.’ I would say, ‘Come on, Claude, don't say that. We don't have one scene of nudity.’ He'd say, ‘We don't need that,’ you know, with a smirk on his face. ‘The obscenity is in the head of the audience.’ That's what he liked about this story, to suggest everything.”
Spoutblog has an interview with Whit Stillman – not because he has anything new out, but because you can now watch Metropolitan at Hulu.com. Stillman does claim that those projects I told you about in Vanishing Act are imminent. “My feeling about the independent business is, for one thing, it’s cyclical. And we’re at the low end of the cycle, but I think it’ll go back up. And I think it’s actually very good to launch a project at the low end of the cycle, if you can launch it. And I think that, often, when things are bad, the way I like to look at it to make it seem better is that bad situations are just business opportunities. And there’s just a huge opportunity now to make good independent films and have them successfully released, ultimately, because there’s no easy money now, and everyone, I think, is going to be in a much tighter, more serious game. And I think that the person or the company that steps up to finance our film is going to do very well with it.” Pass the hat, people!
And in List-o-Mania this week, here’s a new blog to us, Topless Robot, with the 10 Most Blatant Star Wars Rip-offs. Oddly the list doesn’t include The Clone Wars, the biggest rip-off of all, but it does stir some nostalgia for crappy 70s and 80s sci-fi. “Galaxina seems to have had a decent budget for alien costumes and special effects, if not for its screenplay (the freighter spaceship is called the Infinity, the buffoonish captain is named Cornelius Butt, suspended animation jokes abound). But hell, no one came to see a flick starring a Playmate for political intrigue or a character study. Teenagers still stricken with their first Princess Leia boners came for Stratten’s come-hither innuendo, gratuitous cleavage shots, and maybe, just maybe, a bit of side-boob. If this trailer’s any indication, most of the male cast thankfully spent the duration of the flick on ice.”
