Sharon Stone Loses Ground in the Race for Mother of the Year

Posted by Phil Nugent
With her movie career basically on permanent hiatus, Sharon Stone continues to maintain her hold on the world's attention as some species of gossip-blogger freak. Stone has just wrapped up her lastest sideshow, the child custody hearings centered on Roan, the eight-year-old boy who Stone and her former husband, newspaperman Phil Bronstein, adopted during their six-year marriage. Stone lost her bid to have her son move in with her in Los Angeles, in part because of the judge's determination that she "appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan", and that her "overreactions" to nonexistent problems is a "painfully real" problem for the boy. Stone apparently became convinced that Roan had a spinal problem and couldn't be talked out of seeking treatment for it by doctors who assured her that Roan was perfectly healthy. Of course, delusions of spinal meningitis are one thing, but the tidbit from the proceedings that's really gotten people excited is the news that Stone, as the court delicately put it, "suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odour problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child." One website claims that Stone was heard to say of her little one's pungent stumps, "If you smelled Roan's feet, you'd lose faith in God." Wait a minute, are we sure we're not talking about my mother? (To fully appreciate the impact of Stone's comments, keep in mind that she was apparently able to hang onto her faith in God even after seeing herself in the rushes for Catwoman.

Other bloggers have offered, in the place of fearless investigative journalism, cruel and snarky comments of a nature that just make us here at the Screengrab reach for the smelling salts, lest we swoon before copy them down here so we can share them with out own appalled readership. One blogger has even gone so far as to offer a long-distance diagnosis that Stone might suffer from Munchausen syndrome by proxy, rare and scary psychological disorder that compels parents to detect and even inflict illnesses on their children for the sake of the attention it gets them, adding, "Phil Bronstein must be thanking his lucky stars that he left with his man berries still in the tree." This may or may not be a veiled reference to what may have been the high point of the Stone-Bronstein marriage, at least for those of us on the outside gawking through the protective glass: the fabled moment back in 2001 when, with baby Roan in tow, the happy couple went to the zoo for a summit meeting that Stone had arranged for her reptile-happy husband with a Komodo dragon, which proceeded to try to eat his foot. (Bronstein had removed his tennis shoes after the zoo keeper expressed concern that the creature might mistake them for the white rats that are a staple of his diet when no movie star's husband is around.) We've all learned a lot from Stone and Bronstein's marriage. The most important lesson I've learned is that if I'm ever introduced to a Komodo dragon, I should not wear my kilt.
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Posted Oct 02 2008, 02:00 PM
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