Hey, gang. It’s your ol’ pal, the Cost-Dawg. Some friends of mine told me about this very amusing “Waterworld II” prank y’all pulled on April Fool’s Day. I got a good chuckle out of it. Truth is, I’d never make a sequel to Waterworld, a movie for which I drank my own pee. (Real pee? That’s a Hollywood secret, kids.) However, I thought this would be a good opportunity to let you know I am hard at work on a follow-up to The Postman. I want to call it The Postman Always Rings Twice, but some hardasses at the studio are giving me grief over that title for some reason.

While I was checking out your site, I happened to read your list April Fools: The 35 Funniest Movie Characters of All Time (Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven and Eight). I dunno, folks, I think you might have forgotten somebody. If you need a hint, I got two words for you: swing and vote. Get me? Bet you feel pretty silly now.

As for the rest of your stuff, most of it made me feel like I’d rather be back on the set of Waterworld guzzling my own whiz, but I guess these were okay:

Reviews: Sugar, Alien Trespass, The Song of Sparrows, Gigantic, Adventureland

The Screengrab Library of Unproduced Screenplays: David Lynch and Mark Frost's "One Saliva Bubble"

White Elephant Blogathon: Flesh Gordon

Ozsploitation! “Mad Dog Morgan” (1976)

Forgotten Films: "Strange Invaders" (1983)

Unwatchable #39: “The Invisible Maniac”