As a senior in high school, I fancied myself a John Cusack-y sort and loved The Sure Thing (oh, Daphne Zuniga, we hardly knew ye), and since then, the guy with the boombox has generated a pretty impressive body of work: Stand By Me, Eight Men Out, Say Anything, The Grifters, Bullets Over Broadway, Being John Malkovich, High Fidelity...

...but somewhere along the way, Cusack also contracted a bad case of Garafolo Political Syndrome, exacerbated by symptoms of the acute humorlessness and self-regard usually associated with stage one Sean Pennitis.

Sadly, rather than sending the condition into remission, the inspiring victory of Barack Obama may actually have made things worse, if Cusack’s recent douchey outbreak of post-election poety on The Huffington Post is any indication:

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With Smart People, Ellen Page reprises her wise-ass, brainy-sexy persona from Juno, reaffirming her place as the current It Girl for a brand new generation of future I.T. professionals and I.T.T. graduates.

Lord knows I enjoyed the standard-issue sex dolls of my Gen X adolescence, from Catherine Bach’s Daisy Duke to Sylvia Kristel’s steamy French maid in Private Lessons (which my parents naively allowed me to go see all by myself because it co-starred that nice Dr. Johnny Fever from WKRP In Cincinnati).

But horny fantasies aside, I knew from the get-go I was far too much of a Starlog-reading, drama club-joining, Honor-Roll attaining nerd to ever wind up with the hot blondes or the Bond babe, and so it was always the relatable, approachable freaks and geeks of cinema that gave me hope. And while most of the actresses on the following list were actually gorgeous starlets in real life, it was reassuring to believe the following characters, at least, would maybe lend you their panties if you ever needed to win a bet for a dozen floppy disks. (And don't worry, we'll get to the GUY geeks next week...but suggestions are certainly welcome!)

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