american soldiers - The Screengrab

Unwatchable Recap: 81-90

Welcome back to the Unwatchable Halftime Report. We’re getting ready to tackle the 50 worst movies the Internet Movie Database has to offer, but before we get there, let’s take a little breather and survey the wreckage we’ve left in our path. Yesterday we checked out Unwatchables 91-100, so let’s move on up to the next ten.

90. The Bat People. “If The Bat People is notable at all (hint: it’s not), it’s as one of makeup guru Stan Winston’s earliest efforts, though I suspect he’d leave it off his resume if the IMDb didn’t exist. When we finally get a full view of the transformed John, he looks less like a bat than an extra who stole a mask from the set of the Planet of the Apes TV series.”

89. Bloodlust! “The exclamation point means extra thrills! At least, I wish it did.”

The Screengrab Highlight Reel: June 21-27, 2008

We’ve had some fun with the Entertainment Weekly list of new classics, but let it be known that we here at the Screengrab have some new classics of our own! Personally I get all choked up thinking about the time we maybe confirmed a rumor about Gael Garcia Bernal, but for others, the seminal moment was the story about how Crispin Glover requires cash and sushi. Reaching all the way back to Monday, here are the rest of the posts we’ve deemed absolutely timeless, to be treasured for generations to come.

America the Critical: 15 Movies That Show What’s Wrong With U.S. (Parts One, Two and Three)

The week in lawsuits: Gibney vs. ThinkFilm and Adams vs. Marvel

The films of yesteryear: Top Gun, Smiles of a Summer Night and Heaven Can Wait

The films of today: The Wackness and Garden Party

The films of never, please: American Soldiers and Soccer Dog: The Movie

Unwatchable #82: “American Soldiers”

Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

I must admit that the 2005 Iraq war movie American Soldiers had managed to elude my notice until now. I’m still not sure how enough people have seen it to qualify it for this list: it doesn’t appear to have received a theatrical release, but I guess the generic DVD box depicting two grim-faced young men in camouflage gripping enormous automatic weapons simply sang out from the Blockbuster racks. Before watching the movie, I had two competing theories on why it might have made the Bottom 100: Either it was a conservative take on the Iraq war and the liberals were pounding it, or vice versa. As it turns out, journeyman director Sidney J. Furie (the man behind both Iron Eagle IV and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace) has managed to make an Iraq movie that both sides have equal cause to consider complete bullshit.