corky romano - The Screengrab

Your Thursday Afternoon “Twilight” Roundup

You may have noticed that we at the Screengrab have more or less completely ignored Twilight. We are aware that it’s a cultural phenomenon, and that the movie is out in theaters tomorrow, and that it’s predicted to be one of the biggest hits of the year. It’s just that none of us are teenage girls. Believe me, there are some among us who wish they were teenage girls, not that I’m naming any names. (See if you can PIERCE the veil of that cryptic comment, as if you were an arrow from the bow of Ted NUGENT!) But I digress. In the interest of fairness – and page views from the teenage girls who normally avoid the Screengrab like the plague – here is a handy roundup of the latest the Web has to offer in Twilight-mania.

Roger Ebert Gives Himself Thumbs Down

Recently Roger Ebert gave the movie Tru Loved a one-star review in the Chicago Sun-Times. That in itself is not so unusual, although it’s more unusual than it used to be; on the “still playing” sidebar on Ebert’s main page, the only other movie to receive one star is Hell Ride. As far as I can tell, however, Ebert watched all of Hell Ride. He only watched eight minutes of Tru Loved.

After listing the gay indie’s faults – including complaints about the line readings, body language and a cameo from Bruce Vilanch – Ebrt’s original version of the review concludes thusly: “Full disclosure. I lifted the words ‘San Francisco to conservative suburbia with her lesbian mothers’ straight from the plot summary on IMDb.com, because I stopped watching the movie at the 00:08.05 point. IMDb is also where I found out about Bruce Vilanch's dual role. I never did see the lesbian mothers or my friend Bruce. For Tru Loved, the handwriting was on the wall. The returns were in. The case was closed. You know I'm right. Or tell me I'm wrong.”

Ebert has been reviewing movies for four decades now, and it’s a little hard to believe that he managed to resist the urge to pull this stunt for all that time. Think of all the movies he’s actually managed to sit through. He made it all the way to the end of BAPS, Boat Trip, Corky Romano and Ghost Dad, but it took Tru Loved to break him?

Forgotten Films: "Penn & Teller Get Killed" (1989)

In the last few days, we have seen the director Arthur Penn honored by the air of celebration attending the special two-disc DVD of his greatest film, Bonnie and Clyde. We have also seen the suffering caused by the comedian-magician Penn Jillette's attempt to dance with the stars. Weirdly enough, there actually is a connection between these two, besides the fact that one of them insists on wearing the other's last name as his own first name. The last theatrical feature directed by Arthur Penn turns out to have been Penn & Teller Get Killed, which was the first, and will in all likelihood remain the only, movie vehicle starring Penn and his silent partner, Teller. It is not readily apparent who thought it would be a good idea to have these people work together, but maybe it had something to do with Arthur Penn's reputation for finding new ways to show violence on screen, a propensity that included a willingness to use it for darkly comic effects. As you might have guessed from the title, Penn & Teller Get Killed has a morbid edge to it that links it to the unsettling, neo-carny vibe that the duo sought to achieve in their celebrated stage act in the 1980s.